Would I be considered an AB or a DL? Help!

[maxpitchup]

Hi everyone. Sorry this is long. I am trying to figure out what the best way to describe myself is and I'm hoping you can help me out. I talked to my gf a while ago about about my abdl interest and I told her that I was a DL. First time I opened up about this to anyone and it was terrifying. She was very accepting of this and me, but caught her off guard and she wasn't comfortable with the fact that she may see her bf in diapers at first and has slowly become more comfortable, though still haven't wore around her yet. I always considered myself a DL than AB, but recently she brought up a question of, "are you sure you're a DL?" I told her about my willingness to include a onesie and a pacifier when I do wear diapers. I have never had either one of those objects throughout my time in abdl, but recently within the past couple years wanted to try either or both. I can see the practical use of those objects, in being a support for my diaper and a device to help with my anxiety. She sees them as babyish and she's afraid that she's going to see me turn into an AB if I do purchase them and she doesn't want that. I don't want to act like a baby, talk like one, drink out of a bottle, sleep in a crib, or any other form of the AB lifestyle. Diapers sexually arouse me, but also they make me feel comfortable, safe, secure, and I feel less stressed when I wear them. I also love the feeling of being taken care of, like the nurturing aspect of having her with me and I can just snuggle up to her and I dream I can do that with me in my diaper one day. All I want to do is add the onesie and pacifier. Would I be considered an AB or a DL? And how do you think she can feel more comfortable with those objects too if I decide to add them? Side question: what's a good situation to have her see me in diapers for the first time? Anything helps. Thank you!

 

[Traveller]

Probably a bit of both, they tend to blend quite often!
I was purely AB until I went 24/7, overtime my mummy and me have discovered a different place that enjoys 'playing' in a nappy that is very sexually satisfying and mutually acceptable, we now consider me to be both... AB and DL.

 

[KitsuneFox]

Experiment to find out what you like, and enjoy without worrying about applying labels to yourself.

 

[Newbaby110521]

I see your problem and your not fully sure what you are. Personally I think you are a DL not a AB or ABDL let me explain. Wearing a onesie does not make you a baby my mum is most definitely not a ABDL neither is my brother (I’m not even sure he’s heard of ABDL!) and both of them wear onesies admittedly both their onesies have legs but no legs or arms could be a warmth thing. Secondly pacifiers are used by adults to deal with anxiety quite often they are also used to combat smoking, snoring and talking in your sleep. There are several things common with AB which you seem not to do such as:
1. Watch toddler or children’s tv shows
2. Drink from a baby bottle or sippy cup
3. Play with baby toys (e.g. Stackers, colouring books, stuffed toys, toy cars.)
4. You use full English not baby talk or babble
5. You don’t crawl around you walk or maybe you waddle but only because of how thick diapers can be and not because you want to.
6. You don’t eat mashed up food (unless forced for medical reasons like myself)
7. You don’t wear a bib or use baby cutlery

So I think it’s pretty clear your a DL not a AB and as for wearing diapers around your girlfriend try wearing thin ones (if you can) under your trousers and as she gets use to the shape and bulge work up to thicker ones it’s like learning to swim does your instructor make you jump of a diving board and perform a perfect butterfly? No! He directs you down the steps and teachs you how to float and the simpler strokes first.
I hope this has been of some help.

 

[Tangela]

I don't want to act like a baby, talk like one, drink out of a bottle, sleep in a crib, or any other form of the AB lifestyle. Diapers sexually arouse me, but also they make me feel comfortable, safe, secure, and I feel less stressed when I wear them. I also love the feeling of being taken care of, like the nurturing aspect of having her with me and I can just snuggle up to her and I dream I can do that with me in my diaper one day.

This is very similar to what I feel. I like to dress childish but not act childish. In fact I do a lot of "grown up" stuff like working while in my footed pajamas. Diapers to me are part of the "outfit", although sometimes I wear just them. And most of times, just the pajama. To me, dressing childish is a way of feel vulnerable and needed to be nurtured. My brain craves for this feeling as the rest of my life I have to be the "leader", in my job or personal life. I have a house to run and work with a very sensitive topic that directly affects millions of people.

You feel like you don't belong to any category, and half of the ABDL literature don't apply, making it harder to find good material that others can read to better understand you.

When trying to explain this to others, I recently conceived the term "therapeutic regression". I try to explain that this form of "soft regression" has a therapeutic effect, similar to taking a medicine. It "resets" the stress that builds up along the weekends, and makes me ready to face life challenges once more.

Other thing that helps a lot with acceptance is clearly stating that this is not a choice. Because it isn't. I would rather have a vanilla way of relaxing, but unfortunately I have these needs since ever, as I never experienced a traditional childhood. IC people will get mad at me, but I find that the phrase "sometimes I need" instead of "I want" makes people more prone to acceptance.

But this is me. The best approach to this situation is break free from labels, as @KitsuneFox said. Be honest. State what you like and what you don't. Try to understand why. Conceive your own terms, your own explanations. Some say that our needs are "unexplainable", but I politely disagree. The more you think about it, the more the puzzle pieces fit together.

 

[maxpitchup]

This is very similar to what I feel. I like to dress childish but not act childish. In fact I do a lot of "grown up" stuff like working while in my footed pajamas. Diapers to me are part of the "outfit", although sometimes I wear just them. And most of times, just the pajama. To me, dressing childish is a way of feel vulnerable and needed to be nurtured. My brain craves for this feeling as the rest of my life I have to be the "leader", in my job or personal life. I have a house to run and work with a very sensitive topic that directly affects millions of people.

You feel like you don't belong to any category, and half of the ABDL literature don't apply, making it harder to find good material that others can read to better understand you.

When trying to explain this to others, I recently conceived the term "therapeutic regression". I try to explain that this form of "soft regression" has a therapeutic effect, similar to taking a medicine. It "resets" the stress that builds up along the weekends, and makes me ready to face life challenges once more.

Other thing that helps a lot with acceptance is clearly stating that this is not a choice. Because it isn't. I would rather have a vanilla way of relaxing, but unfortunately I have these needs since ever, as I never experienced a traditional childhood. IC people will get mad at me, but I find that the phrase "sometimes I need" instead of "I want" makes people more prone to acceptance.

But this is me. The best approach to this situation is break free from labels, as @KitsuneFox said. Be honest. State what you like and what you don't. Try to understand why. Conceive your own terms, your own explanations. Some say that our needs are "unexplainable", but I politely disagree. The more you think about it, the more the puzzle pieces fit together.

Thanks for that! What you said made a lot of sense and it's nice to hear something so similar to the way I live my life professionally and personally like you. Thanks for the help!

 

[ElPulpo]

It's similar to me, too. I consider myself a DL, and diapers are the major aspect of my strange side. But I do use onesies because of practical reasons (no sagging, no accidental exposing) and because the feeling of being wrapped up in a diaper is more complete, and I like doing something with my mouth, be it kissing, oral sex with my wife or sucking on a pacifier. Besides, the pacifier makes it easier for me to follow my intermittent fasting schedule. I can't eat when my mouth is plugged with a paci.
However, when I see myself in a mirror, I find seeing myself with the pacifier rather embarrassing. I don't have any tendency to change my age during diaper/onesie/paci usage, which on the contrary go well together with my adult work.

In my opinion it's totally possible to be a diaper lover, pacifier lover and onesie lover without being an adult baby or little at all.

 

[SeniorMan]

I'm a suppressed AB. I don't know if I could find an assisted living that would accept an AB. I don't want to be here in my nursing home for life.

 

[Kayleigh]

I agree with the majority here that would describe you as DL. IMHO just because you might use a few baby items when diapered does not make you an AB.
It is more how you act when wearing and indulging in a few baby items that differentiates between AB and DL.
If you behave like an adult when wearing, then DL; if you act or want to act as a baby when wearing then AB.

 

[BlameBaby]

I agree with the majority here that would describe you as DL. IMHO just because you might use a few baby items when diapered does not make you an AB.
It is more how you act when wearing and indulging in a few baby items that differentiates between AB and DL.
If you behave like an adult when wearing, then DL; if you act or want to act as a baby when rswearing then AB.

well thanks I'm strictly AB I wouldn't mind it I've taken care of alot of people including my parents through the years I think it's payment time here soon! =)

 

[SeniorMan]

An AB involves a mindset - a fixed mental attitude or disposition that predetermines a person's responses to and interpretations of situations. For now, my standard behaviour is to be diapered up in a poop-filled diaper or pull-up as the case may be. I've ordered a see-through mesh tank top that covers my chest only 2 inches below my nipples. I want to be as naked as possible. Going with the tank top I've ordered boxers to be worn instead of shorts.

 

[WeakEndPartyPerson]

well thanks I'm strictly AB I wouldn't mind it I've taken care of alot of people including my parents through the years I think it's payment time here soon! =)

Man you're not allowed to pedal services on here.

 

[Hemix]

It seems the position isn't completely clear sometimes. I understand what you're saying, I feel almost the same as you do. Maybe we do have some traits, that's all, Idk

 

[BlameBaby]

Man you're not allowed to pedal services on here.

Excuse me? What services are you talking about exactly?

 

[Nowididit]

I'm in the category of strictly DL but I love my onsies too. I have several babish print onsies that I love to wear over my diapers. The more infantile looking the onsie the better. When it comes to diapers, well any diaper will do but I'm drawn to a more infantile looking diaper. The more babyish it looks the more it appeals to me. (Thank you ABU for LKs and AGZs). I love the smell and texture of baby powder. I love the smell of baby lotion too. Does this make me an AB? No. I mean I have dabbled into the AB aspect of this and I just didn't see the appeal or get the visual or mental mindset of it. It's like someone already said this and I fall in line with them. I'm a man with a goatee and when I look at myself in the mirror in an AB outfit, the visual and mental aspects just didn't connect. I just can't see myself as an infant and personally I don't want to.

 

[BlameBaby]

I'm in the category of strictly DL but I love my onsies too. I have several babish print onsies that I love to wear over my diapers. The more infantile looking the onsie the better. When it comes to diapers, well any diaper will do but I'm drawn to a more infantile looking diaper. The more babyish it looks the more it appeals to me. (Thank you ABU for LKs and AGZs). I love the smell and texture of baby powder. I love the smell of baby lotion too. Does this make me an AB? No. I mean I have dabbled into the AB aspect of this and I just didn't see the appeal or get the visual or mental mindset of it. It's like someone already said this and I fall in line with them. I'm a man with a goatee and when I look at myself in the mirror in an AB outfit, the visual and mental aspects just didn't connect. I just can't see myself as an infant and personally I don't want to.

As they say buddy different folks for different stokes. its not for everyone I guess unfortunately had my childhood taken away at a very young age and I wasn't able to explore this baby territory. as I got older I realized I don't have as much energy and my neices and nefew run me crazy and I don't have the speed anymore. I would love write a book on my whole story about how I have learned the process of learning to let go. I'm not talking just being a Adult Baby Diaper Lover I'm talking about the slow processes you learn in life of forgiveness so you can also forgive those who have harmed you in the process also. You win as soon as you forgive yourself ultimately.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

Okay maxpitchup, let's look at this logically. Let's adult the heck out of it. A onesie does 2 things.

1. Supports the diaper
2. Keeps it hidden and your shirt tucked in, as long as you wear pants over top. If you're not American, I mean trousers.

Those are both good things, so, cool beans, there. They make tee-shirt onesies, without cute pictures, and polo onesie, and polos are almost dress shirts! You're fine. You're fine. It's fine. Did you know that at one point, American football jerseys had a snap crotch? Football! You know, that hyper-masculine super manly ball sport, football? You are absolutely fine. So were the players. They just wanted tucked in shirts.

Now, I'm me, and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting cute pictures. That's up to you.

Now, for the diapers themselves, you've said words like, comfortable, less stress, secure, safe, cared for, nurtured, and snuggle. None, not one, of those words is bad. Hear that, please. Some of them are vulnerable words, and ABs and Littles are vulnerable, but again, not bad. The vulnerable words make me think maybe there's a Little in you somewhere. Don't worry! Our side has cookies and hugs.

Oddly enough, the paci for stress management, I can tell you from personal experience, will work like a charm for anxiety, it's how it might work, that gives me pause for you. For me, it makes me instantly feel tiny. Just know it's a possibility.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

Man you're not allowed to pedal services on here.

Wow, you missed the entire point of the social interaction that was DizzyDizzyDinosaur's statement, or at least it seems that way. DizzyDizzyDinosaur was saying that he's taken care of alot of people, and that care should be returned. That's what he probably meant by payment, not services, or money.