Still struggling with wet nights

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Hipster

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My Bedwetting hasn't improved much at all these past few weeks. It's been about a year now since battling nightly wet beds or diapers. I hate it so much. I still don't feel used to it. It really brings down my self esteem and makes me feel depressed and angry... I'm going to be 21 in a month and still have to wear diapers at night and worry about wetting the bed. :( I know it's contrary to many on this forum but I HATE having to wear a diaper. It makes me feel stupid, like less of a person and undignified. I know I need to though for better sleep and personal hygiene.

My therapist said it will get better as I process the childhood trauma that caused it. Still, I wake up every morning wet. I am just so frustrated and could use support. I'm worried it will never get better. I know I can talk about it in therapy but it still makes me embarrassed. I'm trying to reframe my negative thoughts but just seem to get angrier because it still ends up bringing me down. How can I make dealing with it and talking about it easier?
 

Trevor

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I like diapers, so obviously I'm biased but I'd say that part of what will likely hold you back on this is giving diapers too much power. They're just a product and one that you need because of a problem which you hope to resolve. In your case, they are no different from a pill or crutches or cast on a broken limb. Allowing yourself to believe that they undermine your adulthood is going to make it harder for you to get better. I hope that soon you won't need them, but for now, use them as a reasonable response to an unpleasant circumstance.
 

Hipster

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I like diapers, so obviously I'm biased but I'd say that part of what will likely hold you back on this is giving diapers too much power. They're just a product and one that you need because of a problem which you hope to resolve. In your case, they are no different from a pill or crutches or cast on a broken limb. Allowing yourself to believe that they undermine your adulthood is going to make it harder for you to get better. I hope that soon you won't need them, but for now, use them as a reasonable response to an unpleasant circumstance.

Thanks. I try to view it as a crutch sometimes but it's hard on my bad days. I agree that I give diapers too much power, too which has been hard to fix.
 

LittleICme

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:educate:I am not a Doctor, but I think I can on the internet.

Consult: There are millions of men who wear protection for bladder leaks (incontinence) and or bedwetting (enuresis). If you don't make it a big deal it won't be a big deal. Some things in life just are what they are, and one has to adapt to "the new normal". Deal with it appropriately privately yourself. Anyone who truly loves you will not care if one of your body parts is broke.

Rx: Change daily fluid intake to be most in morning hours and reduce in afternoon; No fluids after 5pm; elevate feet higher than nose 2x for 30 minutes each in afternoon to drain lower leg/ankle swelling if necessary; practice double voiding prior to sleep; set alarm to wake and void after 4 hours of sleep; document via bladder diary: time, type, intake/output volumes and accident signals/approx time; wear absorbents if desired as necessary; 30 day return appointment with bladder diary.


Invoice: $1,725
 
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dogboy

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It could be much worse. My wife isn't very happy that if she wants to walk, she has to put on her prosthetic leg, as she is a diabetic amputee. I say this not to make you feel bad or worse, but just to say that so many people have physical disabilities that they must learn to live with.

This is a medical problem so I hope you will learn to both accept it and learn to cope with it. It may not be permanent, but even if it is, it's something you can accommodate. Since you said this was caused by childhood trauma and you are seeing a therapist, I'm guessing there are a lot of other things bothering you, things that you must deal with. Hopefully over time, you will be able to sort all of this out and you will begin to feel better.

Just because you must wear diapers doesn't mean that you are any less of a person, any more than my wife is less of a person because she is missing part of her leg. She's still the same wonderful person I married. You're still the same wonderful person you have always been. This is just a part of your body or mind, not cooperating with you. If you can think positively over the good parts of your life, you will feel better over all and that should help. I do hope things get better for you.
 

Hipster

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It could be much worse. My wife isn't very happy that if she wants to walk, she has to put on her prosthetic leg, as she is a diabetic amputee. I say this not to make you feel bad or worse, but just to say that so many people have physical disabilities that they must learn to live with.

This is a medical problem so I hope you will learn to both accept it and learn to cope with it. It may not be permanent, but even if it is, it's something you can accommodate. Since you said this was caused by childhood trauma and you are seeing a therapist, I'm guessing there are a lot of other things bothering you, things that you must deal with. Hopefully over time, you will be able to sort all of this out and you will begin to feel better.

Just because you must wear diapers doesn't mean that you are any less of a person, any more than my wife is less of a person because she is missing part of her leg. She's still the same wonderful person I married. You're still the same wonderful person you have always been. This is just a part of your body or mind, not cooperating with you. If you can think positively over the good parts of your life, you will feel better over all and that should help. I do hope things get better for you.

Thanks. I'm sorry that your wife struggles. I've had my fair share of medical problems because of a serious case of anorexia from 12-20. I've been so emaciated before when I've been forced to use a wheelchair, tube dependent, etcetera. Likewise I've missed a lot of opportunities in life because of being too sick. Case in point: having to leave classes early when I was in school I've had to leave class because I was bleeding out of my hip from a bone marrow biopsy I had a few hours earlier, I've had a blood transfusion at 19 due to chronic malnourishment and was in the hospital for a week, spent Christmas and my sixteenth birthday in a rehab center. The list goes on. Having health problems can rob you of a lot.

My therapist also thinks that my IC probes are related to my ED, since I'd sometimes having wetting accidents during the day but it's gotten a little better since I've gotten fat :(. My doctor agreed and I know bladder weakness is a complication of anorexia. But the Bedwetting really didn't get bad until the trauma became a subject in therapy. I guess I've never thought of Bedwetting as another complication of my ED/trauma, more of just something that was my fault, made me a bad person, etc. I just can't wait for the week where I wake up 7 nights in a row dry!

Also I'm proud to say that I journaled about my anger about Bedwetting and just dropped it off to my therapist. :) it's of she brings it up, but she's ALWAYS so awkward about it, which makes things awkward for me, lol. But hopefully she can help me deal with that anger in a healthier way, in addition to reframing my negative thoughts.
 

dogboy

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Thanks. I'm sorry that your wife struggles. I've had my fair share of medical problems because of a serious case of anorexia from 12-20. I've been so emaciated before when I've been forced to use a wheelchair, tube dependent, etcetera. Likewise I've missed a lot of opportunities in life because of being too sick. Case in point: having to leave classes early when I was in school I've had to leave class because I was bleeding out of my hip from a bone marrow biopsy I had a few hours earlier, I've had a blood transfusion at 19 due to chronic malnourishment and was in the hospital for a week, spent Christmas and my sixteenth birthday in a rehab center. The list goes on. Having health problems can rob you of a lot.

My therapist also thinks that my IC probes are related to my ED, since I'd sometimes having wetting accidents during the day but it's gotten a little better since I've gotten fat :(. My doctor agreed and I know bladder weakness is a complication of anorexia. But the Bedwetting really didn't get bad until the trauma became a subject in therapy. I guess I've never thought of Bedwetting as another complication of my ED/trauma, more of just something that was my fault, made me a bad person, etc. I just can't wait for the week where I wake up 7 nights in a row dry!

Also I'm proud to say that I journaled about my anger about Bedwetting and just dropped it off to my therapist. :) it's of she brings it up, but she's ALWAYS so awkward about it, which makes things awkward for me, lol. But hopefully she can help me deal with that anger in a healthier way, in addition to reframing my negative thoughts.

I'm so very sorry for all that you've been through. Definitely don't beat yourself up concerning your bed wetting, and I hope you won't blame yourself even if it is related to your anorexia. Anorexia is also an illness, something you didn't ask for. There are a lot of things that happen to us that we most certainly didn't ask for. All we can do is try to live through it and will ourselves to overcome the horrible hurtles.

I had my share of them when I was in college. I had Borderline Personality Disorder. I did a lot of bad things to myself, making bad choices and being easily led and used by others. When I graduated, I was determined to walk away from it and start over, something which I did. This worked until the church where I was employed as the organist/accompanist, hired as the music director, a guy who was a senior when I was a freshman at the same college. He knew of my gay past and used it to not only manipulate me, but forced me to have sex if I wanted to stay employed. He was evil. I eventually quit, found another job several states away and moved.

Sometimes we just have to walk away and move on. I hope you achieve continence as this is what you want. If you can't, I hope you can accept yourself as a good person. You've been through a lot. For those of us who are damaged, we can feel each others pain, and care. Hugs.
 

Wetshisbed

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I wet the bed every night and wear nappies and plastic pants. My bed always has a noisy plastic sheet over the matteras and I have a bed pad to catch any leaks from my nappy. I have learned to accept I will always wet the bed and just get on with life. My wife has never complained about my bedwetting and still happily sleeps with me and providing I don't wet her side of the bed she says it doesn't matter to her that I am a bedwetter.
 

xpluswearer

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we have all been there the beginning struggles with putting off wearing diapers I was there myself. You will thank yourself for buying the diapers and realizing that you will get a better nights sleep and wont wake up in a wet bed and have to have the expense of washing your bedding and pajamas each day and the bedroom will have a better smell since you wont have a wet bed anymore. And yes even during the day wearing diapers will have a profound effect on your confidence and knowing that you wont have wet pants and able to go thru your day perfectly fine. Just have to know your limits of the diaper you buy. so you can plan your changes correctly. a good high capacity diaper will get you thru most of the daytime hours I find that I do use 3-4 a day one for the overnights one for the morning coffee period and one more change in the late afternoon some days maybe one more change in the daytime. I will suggest two excellent diaper suppliers for you that you can mail order from Gary at XP Medical and Jeremy from Diaper Connioseur Abena Abri Forn Xplus M or L 4 's Dry 24-7's and the DC Amours are my now three go to diapers both will ship to you in plain packaging and are honest and trustworthy. If you need a ear to talk to I am here for you. Do keep a positive attitude and know we are here for you if you need us.
 

Hipster

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we have all been there the beginning struggles with putting off wearing diapers I was there myself. You will thank yourself for buying the diapers and realizing that you will get a better nights sleep and wont wake up in a wet bed and have to have the expense of washing your bedding and pajamas each day and the bedroom will have a better smell since you wont have a wet bed anymore. And yes even during the day wearing diapers will have a profound effect on your confidence and knowing that you wont have wet pants and able to go thru your day perfectly fine. Just have to know your limits of the diaper you buy. so you can plan your changes correctly. a good high capacity diaper will get you thru most of the daytime hours I find that I do use 3-4 a day one for the overnights one for the morning coffee period and one more change in the late afternoon some days maybe one more change in the daytime. I will suggest two excellent diaper suppliers for you that you can mail order from Gary at XP Medical and Jeremy from Diaper Connioseur Abena Abri Forn Xplus M or L 4 's Dry 24-7's and the DC Amours are my now three go to diapers both will ship to you in plain packaging and are honest and trustworthy. If you need a ear to talk to I am here for you. Do keep a positive attitude and know we are here for you if you need us.


Thanks. I used to like live in an apartment with 5 other guys and I ordered north shore care air supremes. Being the only girl, I got a lot of extra privacy ;). I live with my parents again and I don't feel comfortable ordering diapers to my door, even if the box is discreet. Now I use walgreen's certainty briefs. They are a LOT thinner, VERY noisy and not as comfortable but the last few nights they've kept my bed dry. They sag so bad though, almost to my knees haha, but it's just me in my room so who cares? I've occasionally worn daytime protection but I don't need it as much now that my body is a lot stronger. Sometimes it would be nice since I pee like sometimes every fifteen minutes and work outside where we only have a port a potty for a bathroom, but I'm not really convinced I need daytime protection yet, since I haven't had as many wet days the past few months. If the urge hits bad I'll just pee in my horses stall while I work, lol. Let me at least turn the ripe old age of 21 before I am daytime dependent too. ;)

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Thanks <3 means a lot especially today, which has been rough (not related to IC). I'm sorry about your experiences also and I know firsthand how painful that type of coercion is.

It's cool that you're a musician. I played violin as a high schooler in a local orchestra... Favorite to play symphonic was totally schubert's unfinished, but individual was Dvojak's Humoresque. I studied a lot about music theory also. It's something I've abandoned again but really want to start playing to deal with my issues and improve self esteem. Music is therapy, healing, And a beautiful language able to express so much more than words.
 

silentdreamer1996

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No worries man, you aren't the only one with bedwetting at a college age. Heck, just last week I had to bring my sheets to my dorm's laundry/bathroom to clean them; third time that week. I try to get diapers when I can to avoid those walks, but when your parents refuse to accept the idea that your dealing with bedwetting as bad as it is, it isn't always as easy to afford them. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of trauma is causing this for you? For me, I fell out of a tree and struck my spine on the rocks at the base. Ever since the nerve responses from the legs haven't been the best.
 

Hipster

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No worries man, you aren't the only one with bedwetting at a college age. Heck, just last week I had to bring my sheets to my dorm's laundry/bathroom to clean them; third time that week. I try to get diapers when I can to avoid those walks, but when your parents refuse to accept the idea that your dealing with bedwetting as bad as it is, it isn't always as easy to afford them. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of trauma is causing this for you? For me, I fell out of a tree and struck my spine on the rocks at the base. Ever since the nerve responses from the legs haven't been the best.


Abuse as a child caused the wetting but I have had bladder issues for a long time due to being dangerously underweight for 8 years.

My parents don't know I have begun wetting the bed again... I'm TERRIFIED that they'll find out.
 

DrumMajor

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It's cool that you're a musician. I played violin as a high schooler in a local orchestra... Favorite to play symphonic was totally schubert's unfinished, but individual was Dvojak's Humoresque. I studied a lot about music theory also. It's something I've abandoned again but really want to start playing to deal with my issues and improve self esteem. Music is therapy, healing, And a beautiful language able to express so much more than words.

Hey Hipster, first time seeing you around. It's always nice to meet other classical musicians on here. I actually just learned to play violin in my music ed program and I barely ever made a halfway decent sound on the thing; props to you, I'll just stick with my good ol' clarinet.

I play in the orchestra at my college and we're doing a lot of Beethoven and Dvorak. We also did Dvorak's Carnival Overture in the wind band a few semesters ago; what a great piece! I have to say, though, nothing tops Mozart or Shostakovich's 5th symphony :)
 

Tiddles

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Yep, I have been through all of that. One day you will come to terms with it. You are not alone.
*hugs*
 

Hipster

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Hey Hipster, first time seeing you around. It's always nice to meet other classical musicians on here. I actually just learned to play violin in my music ed program and I barely ever made a halfway decent sound on the thing; props to you, I'll just stick with my good ol' clarinet.

I play in the orchestra at my college and we're doing a lot of Beethoven and Dvorak. We also did Dvorak's Carnival Overture in the wind band a few semesters ago; what a great piece! I have to say, though, nothing tops Mozart or Shostakovich's 5th symphony :)

I've always wanted to play the cello, trumpet, and a woodwind as well. But I gotta restart my violin lessons. Damn depression. Are you a music major?
 

xpluswearer

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I played the Slide Trombone in grade school to middle school if I picked it up and started to play it again it would be like my first day and heck of a lot off key. All be it I was not the best player of it by any means in full disclosure.
 

DrumMajor

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I am a music education major; best decision i ever made! My ultimate goal is to become a marching band / symphonic wind band conductor for a large university. Ive got a long way to go but even the best started out somehow! Im learning trumpet right now in my brass methods class and since my primary instrument is a woodwind, making a sound on a brass instrument is such a foreign concept. Just means I have to lock myself in the practice room even longer haha
 

LuvToColour

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I'm Married with a child. My daughter has better nighttime bladder control than I do and she's 6. Nothing to be ashamed of! There are some things we just can't control so we control what we can around them :)
 

Tetra

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I am IC as well as a complete music nut, people come to my house and think I have a thing for my grandfather because I have many original portraits of an older man and they assume it's my grand father , in reality it is Maestro Arturo Toscanini the portraits where taken by NBC orchestra cellist and photography buff Emmerich Garra, his widow lived to be vary old and a lifelong friend of my late Mother , as a child Valli was my Mom's music Teacher , Because of the friendship with Valli when she died I inherited the original refrence studio copies of all of Emmerich's portraits of Toscanini all of them were used on the Original album covers of the NBC issues as well as Toscanini's albums, I also have some hand written sheet music of Toscanini, and some signed books that Toscanini gave to the Garra's on different occasions such as when the wsr ended celebrating the coming of peace ,the Garry's escaped Nazionale Germany via a last minute Swiss visa but not before they had been tatted for the death camps, Toscanini himself was run out of Italy on a rail because he Refused to play the national anthem for Mussolini, The NBC Orchestra was created in order to "encorage" Toscanini to come to the US, I also have other Garra portraits of people like Bernstien and his contemporaries of the era as well as several world class piano prodigy's in training.When I earned my stripe's as a photographer I was gifted Emmerich's original Leica camera's. If you look up history nerd,photographer, musicologist, and damaged goods you find my ugly face
As a child I played trumpet,sax and viola, always wanted to do piano, we had Valli's Steinway concert grand until my Mom''s death not much single handed piano music anyway.
 
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