Is late potty training becoming increasingly normalized?

[boredofwheelchair]

I'm guessing if a child has only ever lived with a western style toilet then a diaper would probably be a safer option than having them attempting to use a squat toilet, similar thing with the bidet on a hose, toilet training is Asia seems quite complicated even for an adult.

Honestly if I were to ever go travelling in a country where squat toilets are predominant I would be diaper dependent for everything and not just my IC just because I couldn't use a squat toilet I can't stand, let alone squat.

 

[12srepaid]

Honestly if I were to ever go travelling in a country where squat toilets are predominant I would be diaper dependent for everything and not just my IC just because I couldn't use a squat toilet I can't stand, let alone squat.

Pit latrines like at some scout summer camps, really bother me. They scare me.

 

[HappyNappin]

Pit latrines like at some scout summer camps, really bother me. They scare me.

I've used a drop latrine at work and there not that bad, certainly far better than some of our improvised toilets

 

[Mehrabad98]

This explains a theory that I've had for a while about several south east Asian nations and there relationship between wealth and diapers, and why massive sizes of pullups are available in such relatively poor countries.
I wonder how many actually are potty trained but continue wearing diapers as a projection of wealth.

Little side question but does the school you worked at have western toilets or squat toilets?

I'm guessing if a child has only ever lived with a western style toilet then a diaper would probably be a safer option than having them attempting to use a squat toilet, similar thing with the bidet on a hose, toilet training is Asia seems quite complicated even for an adult.

Yeah, in Iran having a "French toilet" is a symbol of the upper class, and often children who are toilet trained the western way struggle to use the "Iranian toilet". I struggled with that and still do, actually. I was toilet trained in the United States, and as a kid finding a washroom in Iran with a western toilet was always a hassle for my family.

 

[oldpppants]

I wonder if this will spawn an increasing number of Diaper Lovers. The older you are and still in diapers, the more attached you become to them. And if there’s any pleasure associated with them at all, which becomes more and more likely the older they get, the more hooked they’ll be.

I kinda disagree. My best guess as to why I like diapers is that I was potty trained too SOON, like at 18 months, and didn't get my allotted diaper months in before I had to quit them.

 

[arctic]

I wonder how many actually are potty trained but continue wearing diapers as a projection of wealth.

I think there's something to that, at least in some parts of Asia and Europe. In Japan and South Korea, at least. Also in Eastern Europe.

I know South Koreans wear braces for far longer than needed, for the same reason. The braces thing is something I've never understood. I wore them for four years and hated them.

 

[arctic]

I lived and worked in Cambodia for 5 years, got married, started a family and so on, so I got to know the intricacies of middle to upper class Cambodian life. My wife and I worked in a high end international school with a student body of wealthy Cambodians. At the kindergarten end, a disproportionally high number of Kindergarten children (4yo+) wore diapers to school.

Can't say I've ever been to Cambodia. But that is definitely true in South Korea and Japan.

Also . . . I don't think I would have ever left Cambodia. If it's anything like Vietnam, that's about as close to ideal as I can think of.

 

[arctic]

I wonder if this will spawn an increasing number of Diaper Lovers. The older you are and still in diapers, the more attached you become to them. And if there’s any pleasure associated with them at all, which becomes more and more likely the older they get, the more hooked they’ll be.

There are a LOT of AB/DLs from Gen Z, so you might be on to something there. But idk . . . . . . . .

 

[arctic]

Yeah, in Iran having a "French toilet" is a symbol of the upper class, and often children who are toilet trained the western way struggle to use the "Iranian toilet". I struggled with that and still do, actually. I was toilet trained in the United States, and as a kid finding a washroom in Iran with a western toilet was always a hassle for my family.

I've never been to Iran. Is an Iranian toilet just something you squat over?

 

[arctic]

Pit latrines like at some scout summer camps, really bother me. They scare me.

I sympathize. The worst I've ever seen was an open hole on a train you had to squat over to use, that looked down directly onto the tracks below. It was just a hole in the floor with a lid, basically. That was in Russia

The worst I've seen in the United States was at a Boy Scout camp, which was a wooden shack with open sewage in a pit that fell about 10 feet down. This was an area where rattlesnakes and other poisonous snakes were not uncommon. That was more terrifying than the train situation.

 

[Mehrabad98]

I've never been to Iran. Is an Iranian toilet just something you squat over?

Yes, it's a standard squat toilet.

 

[RouteLeader]

Little side question but does the school you worked at have western toilets or squat toilets?

I'm guessing if a child has only ever lived with a western style toilet then a diaper would probably be a safer option than having them attempting to use a squat toilet, similar thing with the bidet on a hose, toilet training is Asia seems quite complicated even for an adult.

Most countries in the region have moved away from squat toilets. I lived in various different countries in Asia for 15 years and I rarely saw one. I've only seen them in rural areas or in run-down shopping malls.

Has anyone spent time in Singapore? I lived there too and I realized that Chinese Singaporeans tend to potty train much earlier (2-3yo), whilst Malay Singaporeans are much more relaxed (3-5yo) , with Indian Singaporeans being somewhere in-between. Perhaps a Singaporean DL can enlighten us on the cultural attitudes towards potty training within that country?

 

[Diaperman95]

I have not read the 16 pages of comments. To be honest with my jacked memory I might had replied but not remembered as well. Lol

I think a lot has to do with the economy and both or single parents working now days. But also we are far more distracted with our phones and social media than ever before. You know 30 years ago stay home moms biggest distraction was soap operas or the price is right. But no it is so easy to get distracted from the important things we need to be doing. Not blaming anyone but that is just life today. I am a granddad just over a year and I am so proud of my daughter. She has breastfed the entire time and has been lucky enough to have a hard working husband to stay home and let her focus on my grandson. Baby started walking 2 weeks before a year old.

 

[HappyNappin]

Most countries in the region have moved away from squat toilets. I lived in various different countries in Asia for 15 years and I rarely saw one. I've only seen them in rural areas or in run-down shopping malls.

Has anyone spent time in Singapore? I lived there too and I realized that Chinese Singaporeans tend to potty train much earlier (2-3yo), whilst Malay Singaporeans are much more relaxed (3-5yo) , with Indian Singaporeans being somewhere in-between. Perhaps a Singaporean DL can enlighten us on the cultural attitudes towards potty training within that country?

I think it's possibly the Malay groups within Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia that are the ones pushing the diaper wearing age upwards.
It seems to be the youngest girl in the family that is allowed to stay in diapers for the longest.
Possibly there are some religious as well as cultural reasons for this?
Found this on a UK cloth nappy website, it does seem to suggest that this part of the world is using more diapers than they can dispose of properly.

 

[Lori]

Yeah, our oldest trained at 20 months with zero pushing from us. My wife was a stay-at-home mom and was nannying a friend's older daughter for a little extra money. Her friend's daughter was mostly potty trained, and that peer pressure ended up being all that was needed. We had it pretty easy. And then our youngest came along. He really wanted to use the potty like his big sister, but his was a case of being willing before he was physically ready. His bladder seemed to have the capacity of a shot glass, so he needed to go very regularly, and it was always urgent. (Road trips were quite miserable!) Still, I think we had it easy with him too, because he was very motivated by the idea that using the potty was what big kids and adults do. He was a lot like the ideal kid in the Pull-Ups ad who's playing, needs to go, and diligently runs off to the bathroom. He just...usually didn't get there in time. We were patient, and he ended up daytime-trained around age three.

In the end, I don't know whether we did something right or were mostly lucky. For both of our kids, seeing another kid use the potty seemed to have a big impact. I sometimes wonder, in cases where a child is very resistant to using the potty, if they've ever seen anybody else use one (or the toilet). Kids are born copy-cats, so modeling the behaviors you want is one of the best ways to get them!

20 months? Christ, I don't think I've ever actually encountered a kid toilet train before 24 months. Heard stories, yes, never actually seen it IRL.

I guess the stay-at home mom thing, and peer pressure from the other kid, possibly helped though, seeing as at least the former would have been more regularly the case when kids did kick the diapers more early back 40, 50, years ago.

 

[Diaperman95]

20 months? Christ, I don't think I've ever actually encountered a kid toilet train before 24 months. Heard stories, yes, never actually seen it IRL.

I guess the stay-at home mom thing, and peer pressure from the other kid, possibly helped though, seeing as at least the former would have been more regularly the case when kids did kick the diapers more early back 40, 50, years ago.

My daughter was under 2 years by a good little bit. The first time she pulled her dirty diaper off on her own we figured she new she was dirty and did not like it so we started training her.

 

[SoggyRunner]

Everyone’s experience is different, but as a parent potty training a child within the last decade, I haven’t seen a trend of really late training becoming common. With our son, we started trying just after his second birthday, but he wasn’t really ready and after a couple of weeks of more accidents than successes, we went back to diapers for another six months. He started preschool at 2-1/2, right about the time we tried potty training for the second time. He went to a community co-op school where we as parents spent time in the classroom and knew the potty training status of all the kids. Most, including our son, were in pull-ups at the start of the year, with 2 or 3 out of maybe 12-15 still in diapers. All except one or two had graduated to underwear by the end of that year, and by the time they were in the 4-5 year-old class, there weren’t any kids in diapers or pull-ups as far as we knew. It doesn’t seem to have changed for our friends with younger kids who are potty training age now, either. Night-time was a different story, though, and he was wet most nights and in a diaper, then pull-up, until near the end of elementary school (age 10). Three years later, nighttime protection is gone too, but there are still 1-2 wet nights per month where we just deal with wet PJs and sheets.

 

[sillygirl]

I was really late potty trained at age 11 because I was starting secondary school soon. I suppose my case isn’t normal

 

[Mehrabad98]

A research idea I had was comparing toilet training ages with the following variables in countries that have diverse, heterogenous populations that allow us to get a representative sample of multiple different demographics:
1. Parental age
2. Number of children in household
3. Household income
4. Religious affiliation
5. Political alignment
6. Family structure: single vs married parents, two incomes vs one income, presence/absence of other family members in the child's life, etc
7. Immigrant vs natural born status of the parents
I hypothesize that earlier toilet training age would be associated with parents who are older, are not considered high income, identify as being more devout in faith, and have other family members present in the life of their child.

People say that when parents have less time on their hands due to working long hours keep their kids in diapers longer, but I think that it depends on their socioeconomic standing. Diapers are EXPENSIVE. A single parent working an ungodly amount of hours at a low earning job has an immense economic pressure to get their child out of diapers as fast as possible, whereas a married couple of high earners who work long hours, like an investment banker married to an emergency physician, would be able to afford to keep their child in diapers for as long as they would like. While daycare may attempt to train a child, if there's no continuity between school and the home, the child will not be trained.

I also feel like religious beliefs play a role here too. For example, Islam is obsessed with cleanliness. This goes beyond people who are devout, practicing Muslims. My (Iranian) family is not religious, but my mom raised me with an obsession on being clean. I was raised to never sit on the ground, put my hands on the ground, eat any food that had fallen on the floor, or share a cup/straw/bottle with anyone. When I went to school and was told to do push ups/sit ups on the blacktop, sit down on the multipurpose room floor during school assemblies, and saw my friends eating stuff that had fallen on the ground, I was aghast. I basically got culture shock in my own country (USA). This obsession over cleanliness extends to toilet training. Diapers are seen as a necessary evil and there's massive societal pressure to get kids into underwear ASAP. I feel bad for all the kids abused in Iran because of their parents' desire to save face in front of the family. Goodnites and their equivalents do not exist in Iran. Heck, pull ups for toilet training didn't exist until the mid 2010s, and that was just because of a desire for families to look Western. The idea of your 12 year old son wearing a diaper to bed because he wets the bed is incomprehensible to Iranians. They blame the child instead. Even in Qatar I couldn't find boys Drynites 8-15 at Carrefour. They had the girls version, but not for boys. I saw a map at the beginning of the pandemic of a study done in Europe asking people if they regularly wash their hands after using the toilet. The Christian countries had shockingly low percentages of yes responses, but Turkey and the Muslim countries in the Balkans had over 99%. I think in the Netherlands half of people said yes and half said no.

I will not comment on the political alignment variable due to forum rules, although I do have a prediction. And no, it's not a dichotomous "left this, right that" prediction.

 

[detectiveblutomindpretzel]

Honestly if I were to ever go travelling in a country where squat toilets are predominant I would be diaper dependent for everything and not just my IC just because I couldn't use a squat toilet I can't stand, let alone squat.

When I was in India I had about a 3-4 hour drive from the city I flew into and the city I was staying in. About half way there I had to go (#2) and after figuring out how to tell my driver what I wanted, we pulled over. I saw my first ever squat toilet. It was basically just a hole in the floor with a big bucket of water next to it. All of a sudden I didn't have to go anymore.