Found out I’m autistic. I guess that explains the diapers...

[BobbiSueEllen]

So, I'm looking up diagnosis pathways for adults online...VeryWell Health is a pretty good source of information on the matter so far. Looks like what we've called HFA, or High-Functioning Autism--especially in adults--is not only now known as Autism with Low Support Needs (A-LSN)...but that it has several tests involved for diagnosis, such as:

• Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule, Second Edition (ADOS-2), Module 4;
• Developmental, Dimensional, and Diagnostic Interview-Adult Version (3Di-Adult);
• Social Responsiveness Scale (SRS), and;
• Autism Diagnostic Interview-Revised (ADI-R).

ADOS-2 is a bit worrisome, in my opinion: a passive test (meaning you have no deliberate participation in it), it has a high probability for diagnostic inaccuracy or even misdiagnosis. The clinician taking the test observes your responses via prompts they give you. In my opinion, that's no way to accurately gauge a person's degree of autism; the best way is dynamic observation in real-time, in normal life situations. But, of course, having a shrink drive around with you for a few days is gonna run into the thousands. Way to buy their BMW.

Another superior method, albeit costly in its own right, is to contact others close to the person getting evaluated and asking questions. Takes lots of time, too. Not everyone is available at the drop of a hat. So, I guess the ADOS-2 is the best they can offer.

So, if we adults can get diagnosed officially in life, it's just a matter of finding a willing psychology advocate to do it. I imagine it's a bit politicized, as some states would probably be easier than others to get diagnosed, very similar to other current social situations. I have little to no hope for Idaho. But I'll try to make some headway.

In closing, now that HFA is no longer an official moniker for my current autism status and A-LSN is...does that make me an "Allison Autie"? Or "Auntie (autie with an n) Allison"?

 

[KBoy]

"Found out I’m autistic. I guess that explains the diapers..."

That title was exactly what I said when I discovered I'm autistic; and your post pretty much reflects everything I feel/felt and went through. Discovering I have autism was half-surprise, half not-surprised; it lit a light on the elusive shadow mystery of my life and revealed it. It's no longer a suspicious, sinister entity but a life-companion I get to know more each day.

It also began a year of intermittent anger & rage due to flashbacks of my life's past returning in very vivid 3-D. Some military vets talk about certain concepts of war "getting in [their] skulls and looking out [their] eyes"; with me, it was revisiting all that was done against me, all that was done to me, all I'd done. Felt about the same.

And then there was my AB/DL: my entire life back in diapers since 1981. Some have called me "an AB/DL pioneer" for that but I don't feel like one at all. It was nothing that nobody else here hasn't suffered, old or new; just back in my day, there was no internet, zero community. I and legion others who did this thought we were the only ones in the world who did this and there was nobody else. Mind you, we weren't narcissists...we were isolated, afraid. We were alone. None of us knew there was a bigger reality until the internet arrived.

I endured undiagnosed autism for decades and the assaults, disdain, exclusions, isolation and hatred it got me from the drunken, hypocritical, par-average "Normals". That all ran concurrently with getting back in diapers, a double-whammy struggle. Maybe most of you understand, most if not all of you have lived it yourselves. The only difference between then and now is that now, we have community. We didn't then. I'd rather not relive my life all over, especially differently; once is enough. And it's a good waste of time that can be spent living now...diapers, autism, baby life and all.

Not all people with autism wear diapers for fun/security and not all who wear diapers for fun/security have autism. One doesn't follow the other and they never began hand-in-hand. We who have autism and wear diapers for fun/security are merely a facet of the AB/DL community on the whole.

And this place matters. This is the hub of our community. We all matter to one another. There may be differences in personalities here, just as anywhere else, but we'll cope with that the best we can for the sake of the common good of our community. We know well the rest of the world won't take sides in differences within our community and would just as soon bury us all as a whole and forget about it all...forget about us all. If we don't hang together, we'll hang separately.

So keep going, quirky. Keep at it. We're right here with ya.

Just found this, new BobbiSueEllen, I agree with everything you have to say.
I don't have autism, but for a person with a severe personality disorder much of what you have to say is very relatable.
You just continue to amaze me, you have insight and your writing is solid

 

[DLBroski]

I'd say that there are ABs among those with incontinence and DLs among those with autism. Having autism myself, I'm AB (and AB girl, at that!), having spent the first 18 years a DL (I didn't know I had autism until 5 years ago). You find that it's not canonical that auties are AB-only or ICs are DL-only. We have a rather varied cross section here.

But we do love our diapers. No matter what our challenges or degree thereof, we love what diapers give to our life-experiences.

And this is just my opinion: babyhood & diapers are the best feeling around when experienced the second time around!

Thank you for sharing! Good point...we all love are Diapee

 

[babyraggydolls]

I got my diagnosis which has been helpful it got me more support and help so in the long run it’s helpful to get one. A doctor can refer for one and i am glad i did as i now got a therapist who helped me learn way to cope with it as an adult and to understand autism better and i got a social worker etc

 

[Chinababy888]

A few weeks ago, I started Googling some of my son's behavioral problems and found a few things about autism. Well, I knew that wasn't the problem, but I still looked at it only to rule it out. I knew about the spectrum, but I guess my perception of autism was still the stereotype of nonverbal, low-functioning children. I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

I recognized myself in many of the signs and symptoms. There were too many to ignore. I realized that I had been stimming all my life. I understood why I have such a hard time communicating with people and why I don't have close friends. I realized why sounds bother me so much and why I avoid noisy and crowded places. All my little quirks suddenly make sense when viewed through the prism of autism. I still don't know how I’m only just finding out about it in my 40’s, given how obvious it seems in retrospect.

I know self-diagnosis is controversial, but I've been very rigorous about it and I've looked at the DSM criteria a dozen times and I have examples for each. I never wanted to be autistic, so diagnosing myself as such isn't something I've taken lightly. For the first week, I couldn't even label myself autistic, I just couldn't go that far, and I decided I would identify as an Aspie. But the more I learn about it, and the more I read about the experiences of other autistic people, the better I understand myself and the more comfortable I feel with calling myself autistic. I'll probably be looking for a formal diagnosis at some point, if only for validation, but right now I'm not sure it's worth spending $2000 for someone to tell me I'm different when it's been painfully obvious all my life.

In many ways, it's a relief to know that my brain is wired differently than most people. And that goes a long way toward explaining why I'm ABDL and why I'm so emotionally immature. I don't know why my special interest couldn't have been dinosaurs instead of diapers, but knowing that I'm autistic really helps me to love the ABDL side of me. It also explains why I like the feeling of being tightly wrapped in a diaper and a onesie. It calms me down and it's my version of a weighted blanket.

It's strange to discover this about myself, but it's also comforting to accept myself as I am. I’m ABDL and autistic. I love my diapers and my teddy bear. I'm weird, but that's okay.

Your not wired I am also autistic and am 43 at the time of writing this, diapers aren't just for children they are another form of underwear just more practical.

Just remember that anybody at any age & stage of their lives can wear diapers/nappies for what ever reason, although In my case 90%of the time I don't need them sometimes it's better to be padded than sorry even if it does make me lookalike an overgrown toddler so be it.

What I am saying is the world can be a very daunting and uneasy place to be an adult as specially in today's society things can get too much at times and it's okay to want to regress back to a time when everything was more simple and less stressful, I do that myself from time to time.

Never be ashamed of who you are as everyone is different in this world and nobody is 100% normal and therefore I am a bit of abdl however I don't view it as a fettish or rabbit as that's too harsh and not nice at all.

Take me for example I've always been a child at heart even if the years have gone by I never lost that side of my personality and I don't think I ever will as I like that part of my psychology and that is okay with me as I am not changing who I am just because society is uncomfortable with what I am,

as I am a survivor of bullying and a survivor of childhood trauma although that's for another days subject.

My point is don't be ashamed to be who you are and ask for support when needed as most of us are in the same boat, although I am not a pearant unless you count my dog who is now 6 she's my Labrador and furry kid as I brought her up from a puppy in 2017.

And even she knows my secrets although she has come to accept that side of me which is beautiful,

 

[Calico]

I skipped the self diagnoses because I was already diagnosed.

 

[Pizzanque]

I went down this rabbit hole as well with my therapist. I am already diagnosed with adhd. Having an autism diagnosis would allow me to make things make a ton of sense. However we both agreed it didn't make a ton of sense for a formal evaluation(unless medically necessary)

There is no cure for autism, no adderal or Vyvanse to take, just allows the people still in my life go "duh"....

Most of my life until my therapist I thought I was just different than everyone. Nope.

I thought this voice in my head everyone else has too.... nope.
Adhd and autism intertwine a ton. Cognitive behavioral therapy is useless.

Pretty much I take my hour with her to ask "what do others normally do?" Or"what would you do?"

I constantly go down mental health dopamine holes. (Hyperfocusing)

But, like everyone else is saying it's all about self acceptance... except this isn't a 1 time thing and you're done, it's a constant battle.

 

[caitianx]

As I have stated many time here over the years, I got the official Autism diagnosis at age 47 in 2005.
I have noticed that as I have aged in to senior years, I seem to be becoming more stereotypically autistic.
More hand-flapping, and other odd stimming.

 

[Pacifyingmyautism]

As I have stated many time here over the years, I got the official Autism diagnosis at age 47 in 2005.
I have noticed that as I have aged in to senior years, I seem to be becoming more stereotypically autistic.
More hand-flapping, and other odd stimming.

Becoming more autistic as an autistic interms of unmasking and self expression should be how we age

 

[caitianx]

Becoming more autistic as an autistic interms of unmasking and self expression should be how we age

Well stated!
The mask gnikcuf came off for me years ago after my correct official diagnosis.
As I have aged I have become far more mute and non-verbal, along with a hardening rigidity in my routines and stimming.
Melting down easier.
Needing increasing isolation and solitude.
Needing to wear thumbless padded medical restraint mittens a lot each and ever day for hours at a time to not hurt myself.

 

[Bailedacademic]

All throughout my 20s I had people ask if I was autistic, yet I always waved it off until I was in grad school and started interacting with fellow brainy autistics, and then I did the deep dive and of course came to the conclusion that I'm very likely a high masking autistic person.
Not interested in diagnosis because of all the negatives that can come with it (like immigration restrictions) and I've gotten on this long without accomodations. That said, it does feel like my little space moments are really just the only way I know how to unmask.

 

[ianwee]

It's okay to be on the spectrum. You're not broken, just different, and we're all different. It makes the world a more colorful place. I have a few very successful friends on the spectrum, and they're a constant source of inspiration. I wish more people where aware of what autism really means, and how common it is. We would all benefit.

My son is 'on the spectrum' too, and he is a wonderful caring person. A specialist once told his mother and me that he (the specialist) worked with hundreds of kids like ours - and they were all 'autistic', but whilst sharing some traits in common, all of them were very different individuals, and it was impossible to give them all a generic label, like Aspergers or Autistic or ADHD. Sadly many in society want to label people and put them into neat little boxes - but it just doesn't work in real life, does it? We are all individuals. We are a\ll different. We are all wonderful!

 

[Visitor2Earth]

A few weeks ago, I started Googling some of my son's behavioral problems and found a few things about autism. Well, I knew that wasn't the problem, but I still looked at it only to rule it out. I knew about the spectrum, but I guess my perception of autism was still the stereotype of nonverbal, low-functioning children. I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

I recognized myself in many of the signs and symptoms. There were too many to ignore. I realized that I had been stimming all my life. I understood why I have such a hard time communicating with people and why I don't have close friends. I realized why sounds bother me so much and why I avoid noisy and crowded places. All my little quirks suddenly make sense when viewed through the prism of autism. I still don't know how I’m only just finding out about it in my 40’s, given how obvious it seems in retrospect.

I know self-diagnosis is controversial, but I've been very rigorous about it and I've looked at the DSM criteria a dozen times and I have examples for each. I never wanted to be autistic, so diagnosing myself as such isn't something I've taken lightly. For the first week, I couldn't even label myself autistic, I just couldn't go that far, and I decided I would identify as an Aspie. But the more I learn about it, and the more I read about the experiences of other autistic people, the better I understand myself and the more comfortable I feel with calling myself autistic. I'll probably be looking for a formal diagnosis at some point, if only for validation, but right now I'm not sure it's worth spending $2000 for someone to tell me I'm different when it's been painfully obvious all my life.

In many ways, it's a relief to know that my brain is wired differently than most people. And that goes a long way toward explaining why I'm ABDL and why I'm so emotionally immature. I don't know why my special interest couldn't have been dinosaurs instead of diapers, but knowing that I'm autistic really helps me to love the ABDL side of me. It also explains why I like the feeling of being tightly wrapped in a diaper and a onesie. It calms me down and it's my version of a weighted blanket.

It's strange to discover this about myself, but it's also comforting to accept myself as I am. I’m ABDL and autistic. I love my diapers and my teddy bear. I'm weird, but that's okay.

That’s almost my story, too!

My Aspergers/Tourettes explains A LOT of my quirkyness, including how diapers calm me down & make me absolutely as relaxed and blissful as valium & klonopin used to make me (with none of the terrible, nasty side effects that upset my boys growing up).

I wasn’t diagnosed with Aspergers until my 40’s….which was no surprise as my oldest Son (48 now) and my oldest Grandson (now 17) are both ASD & Aspergers. I wasn’t diagnosed with Tourettes until my 20’s.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

All throughout my 20s I had people ask if I was autistic, yet I always waved it off until I was in grad school and started interacting with fellow brainy autistics, and then I did the deep dive and of course came to the conclusion that I'm very likely a high masking autistic person.
Not interested in diagnosis because of all the negatives that can come with it (like immigration restrictions) and I've gotten on this long without accomodations. That said, it does feel like my little space moments are really just the only way I know how to unmask.

I'm confused about the immigration/emigration...where did you learn about its autism clause? Are various countries so scared, or...?

It's amazing the attitudes which still remain about autism, even among some who have it: a few years back, the clinical move was made to shuffle Asperger Syndrome into the autism spectrum, which is where it belongs; one "aspie" went on a very-hostile tirade, because now his potential Air Force career seemed ruined. I don't see how, as then-Asperger Syndrome had its comparable complications, too...but what angered me was this "aspie"'s attitude: he seemed to have an elitist self-perception about his Asperger diagnosis setting him at a higher level above 'the herd'...what I call "country-club autism'. Now he was furious that the shuffle 'lowered' him in 'class' and 'stature'. He completely turned me off. As an autie, I felt scorned because, to him, I wasn't as disciplined, tasteful, cultured, capable or intelligent. I was, as were all other auties, lower-class in his eyes. And I still detest his attitude.

That is one reason why I completely ignore the term "Asperger Syndrome". The DSM-V killed it in 2013, the ICD-11 killed it two years ago, largely due to Dr. Asperger's Nazi collusion. I considered myself "Aspie" very briefly at first; the ranting young man struck a major blow, Asperger's legacy struck the death blow. I never want to hear or read anyone of any capacity use that term in reference to myself, ever.

But anyway, I'd be interested to hear about the immigration/emigration matter. Thank you!

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

One state had a law proposed that would mandate putting one's autism diagnosis on their license.

At least one state has done it: Nevada. And here is why...

It has become more obvious to police & law that there are people with autism who drive...and have had very bad encounters with police during stops. Do you remember when deaf people were getting shot and/or killed by cops during stops & chases? I do.

Nevada recently enacted a law which allows (not mandates) a driver to have their license and/or vehicle registrations annotated with a database marker if they have autism, are deaf or have cognition issues; that way, when a cop runs a license or registration, they will have it pop up in the Dispatch reply, see it and make some accommodation for the detainee. I personally applaud it.

Why does it now exist? In addition to the shootings of deaf people, more & more people with autism are getting shot and/or killed, and it's eroding public trust further. A few years ago in Utah, a Salt Lake City officer shot and nearly killed a 13YO boy with autism having a meltdown. The cop claimed the unarmed kid had a weapon, fired eleven shots...six hit. He survived. This further damaged law enforcement reputation nationwide. SLC condescended by giving the kid $3 million...SLC should've been sued off the map. Spilling McD's coffee in a lap won one woman $15 million...heh.

Utah's neighbor state Nevada learned...and went proactive with the matter. I'm all for it. Considering the increasing aggression police use and police/public incidents on the rise, this can only help.

 

[Mehrabad98]

At least one state has done it: Nevada. And here is why...

It has become more obvious to police & law that there are people with autism who drive...and have had very bad encounters with police during stops. Do you remember when deaf people were getting shot and/or killed by cops during stops & chases? I do.

Nevada recently enacted a law which allows (not mandates) a driver to have their license and/or vehicle registrations annotated with a database marker if they have autism, are deaf or have cognition issues; that way, when a cop runs a license or registration, they will have it pop up in the Dispatch reply, see it and make some accommodation for the detainee. I personally applaud it.

Why does it now exist? In addition to the shootings of deaf people, more & more people with autism are getting shot and/or killed, and it's eroding public trust further. A few years ago in Utah, a Salt Lake City officer shot and nearly killed a 13YO boy with autism having a meltdown. The cop claimed the unarmed kid had a weapon, fired eleven shots...six hit. He survived. This further damaged law enforcement reputation nationwide. SLC condescended by giving the kid $3 million...SLC should've been sued off the map. Spilling McD's coffee in a lap won one woman $15 million...heh.

Utah's neighbor state Nevada learned...and went proactive with the matter. I'm all for it. Considering the increasing aggression police use and police/public incidents on the rise, this can only help.

I would argue that the problem is our culture and our policing. It's a deep, structural issue that is best remedied with major changes to who we hire to be cops, how we train them, and how our culture sees the role of authority.

 

[Bailedacademic]

I'm confused about the immigration/emigration...where did you learn about its autism clause? Are various countries so scared, or...?

It's amazing the attitudes which still remain about autism, even among some who have it: a few years back, the clinical move was made to shuffle Asperger Syndrome into the autism spectrum, which is where it belongs; one "aspie" went on a very-hostile tirade, because now his potential Air Force career seemed ruined. I don't see how, as then-Asperger Syndrome had its comparable complications, too...but what angered me was this "aspie"'s attitude: he seemed to have an elitist self-perception about his Asperger diagnosis setting him at a higher level above 'the herd'...what I call "country-club autism'. Now he was furious that the shuffle 'lowered' him in 'class' and 'stature'. He completely turned me off. As an autie, I felt scorned because, to him, I wasn't as disciplined, tasteful, cultured, capable or intelligent. I was, as were all other auties, lower-class in his eyes. And I still detest his attitude.

That is one reason why I completely ignore the term "Asperger Syndrome". The DSM-V killed it in 2013, the ICD-11 killed it two years ago, largely due to Dr. Asperger's Nazi collusion. I considered myself "Aspie" very briefly at first; the ranting young man struck a major blow, Asperger's legacy struck the death blow. I never want to hear or read anyone of any capacity use that term in reference to myself, ever.

But anyway, I'd be interested to hear about the immigration/emigration matter. Thank you!

Canada, Australia, and a few other countries have rules against naturalization for autistic individuals (and same for ADHD). I agree with the move away from Asperger's, but said airforce service member was correct that it could negatively impact their career; the US military doesn't accept people with Autism diagnostics (nevermind in hindsight that all the best Soldiers I served with clearly had some kind of neurodivergence going on) and will push out anyone who gets a diagnosis while in under a chapter 5-17 (non-service related conditions) discharge (honorable discharge, but can be frustrating when you have time left on your contract and/or plan on staying in until retirement).

Beyond that, there's lots of devastating stories out there of very well established professionals out there whose careers were basically stalled because of their diagnosis, even in just stakeholders treating them differently.

I'm incredibly happy to see the trends towards better care and education around autism, because I do not want anyone to go through what was basically unofficial, family-led behavioral modification training for me, but I worry that society has too many fences up for autistic people to grow to their full potentials.

 

[longallsboy]

At least one state has done it: Nevada. And here is why...

It has become more obvious to police & law that there are people with autism who drive...and have had very bad encounters with police during stops. Do you remember when deaf people were getting shot and/or killed by cops during stops & chases? I do.

Nevada recently enacted a law which allows (not mandates) a driver to have their license and/or vehicle registrations annotated with a database marker if they have autism, are deaf or have cognition issues; that way, when a cop runs a license or registration, they will have it pop up in the Dispatch reply, see it and make some accommodation for the detainee. I personally applaud it.

Why does it now exist? In addition to the shootings of deaf people, more & more people with autism are getting shot and/or killed, and it's eroding public trust further. A few years ago in Utah, a Salt Lake City officer shot and nearly killed a 13YO boy with autism having a meltdown. The cop claimed the unarmed kid had a weapon, fired eleven shots...six hit. He survived. This further damaged law enforcement reputation nationwide. SLC condescended by giving the kid $3 million...SLC should've been sued off the map. Spilling McD's coffee in a lap won one woman $15 million...heh.

Utah's neighbor state Nevada learned...and went proactive with the matter. I'm all for it. Considering the increasing aggression police use and police/public incidents on the rise, this can only help.

You can get one in the state of Virginia too. Not only that, but you can get handicapped license plates and park in handicap zones if you are Autistic. Some states don't allow this. But in Virginia they do. I would think Autism is a mental handicap just as much as being in a wheelchair is. And for some Autistics, the propensity of running across the street while walking, without looking both ways, and possibly getting hit and run over, that parking in a handicapped zone makes logical sense in a legal aspect.

- longallsboy

 

[Pacifyingmyautism]

Well stated!
The mask gnikcuf came off for me years ago after my correct official diagnosis.
As I have aged I have become far more mute and non-verbal, along with a hardening rigidity in my routines and stimming.
Melting down easier.
Needing increasing isolation and solitude.
Needing to wear thumbless padded medical restraint mittens a lot each and ever day for hours at a time to not hurt myself.

Maybe for some autists here maybe a thing where ageing can look and become age regressing. I think becoming more aware of your environment can make less tolerant the mix of having to adulting can make regression occur with low spoons definately a link

 

[Honeywell6180]

I'm confused about the immigration/emigration...where did you learn about its autism clause? Are various countries so scared, or...?

It's amazing the attitudes which still remain about autism, even among some who have it: a few years back, the clinical move was made to shuffle Asperger Syndrome into the autism spectrum, which is where it belongs; one "aspie" went on a very-hostile tirade, because now his potential Air Force career seemed ruined. I don't see how, as then-Asperger Syndrome had its comparable complications, too...but what angered me was this "aspie"'s attitude: he seemed to have an elitist self-perception about his Asperger diagnosis setting him at a higher level above 'the herd'...what I call "country-club autism'. Now he was furious that the shuffle 'lowered' him in 'class' and 'stature'. He completely turned me off. As an autie, I felt scorned because, to him, I wasn't as disciplined, tasteful, cultured, capable or intelligent. I was, as were all other auties, lower-class in his eyes. And I still detest his attitude.

That is one reason why I completely ignore the term "Asperger Syndrome". The DSM-V killed it in 2013, the ICD-11 killed it two years ago, largely due to Dr. Asperger's Nazi collusion. I considered myself "Aspie" very briefly at first; the ranting young man struck a major blow, Asperger's legacy struck the death blow. I never want to hear or read anyone of any capacity use that term in reference to myself, ever.

But anyway, I'd be interested to hear about the immigration/emigration matter. Thank you!

I don't consider myself an "Aspie" at all. In fact, I consider them as rather... chauvinistic. I was originally diagnosed with "Asperger's", but that changed to PDD-NOS later. But now, it's simply ASD like all the rest, and I'm not bothered by it. At least I have an explanation as to why I have to make these purchases, and why they are a medical necessity. As far as "Aspies" go, I don't consider them as having any type of developmental disability. Just look at Elon Musk, and that will explain everything.