First post. Looking for support to help cope with IC

[PadPhilosopher]

Ok…I remembered what you said earlier about the doctors note . I just did it. I put an extra thick one on because it feels like a pillow almost and it hugs the hips. I noticed the tension releases even more when it’s cozy. Had a little rash on my bottom. Addressed that. The tears are stopping. Got into bed with my pup and just focusing on my breathing.

And just relax and keep it on all night right?

You did it! It will make sure that whatever happens tonight will be OK, and you won't need to think about it or take it off until you get up tomorrow morning. And, don't think about it or take it off before then.

Now put everything troubling out of your mind, and get a restful, healing night's sleep. Be cozy, be relaxed, and sleep at peace.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I feel like you probably fell asleep already. You didn't sleep well last night, so it was probably lights out almost the second your head hit the pillow. Good. Rest. You need it. You deserve it.

See you in the morning.

 

[southeastlittle]

I hope you have a peaceful night's sleep!

Staying hydrated is very high on the list of healthy habits, so if wearing enables that, you could look into finding pull ups or briefs you would be comfortable wearing daily that is more discrete if discretion is a concern. Being dehydrated leads to some very unwanted side-effects. Also, needing to wear protection as an adult is not weird and in no way wrong!

 

[moorey]

Hey there!

I’ll try to be brief. Bedwetter on and off when I was young and then it would happen during high stress moments. Fast forward to a few years ago. I was jumped and sexually assaulted by two men outside of the hotel I was staying at for work. I was a virgin at the time because it was something I wanted to share with husband (if I ever got the chance). Sexually molested as a child, which makes sense for the bed wetting.

This is the struggle I have now. I get severe pain down below from the injuries. I also can barely tell when I need to use the restroom, the feeling is so fair and subtle I almost have to be thinking about it all the time. In times of flashbacks (from PTSD) I usually have an accident. Or during panic and anxiety attacks. I go back and forth between wearing diapers and not. I sleep much better at night if I wear a diaper to bed. I’m less stressed and anxious during the day when I wear a diaper during the day.

It’s just hard for me to be ok with wearing diapers for IC that’s situational. Also, it’s gotten to the point if I’m not padded up during the day I won’t drink liquids and I become dehydrated. I stay hydrated when I have a diaper on. And honestly I don’t focus on trying so hard to feel the urge then I just wet automatically in them without knowing half the time.

With all of this, I just feel embarrassed and ashamed I can’t figure it out. Or cannot be at peace with accepting maybe it’s time to just commit to 24/7 wearing and deal with the weird and horrible comments I get from family when I’m around them.

Anyways. That’s what is on my mind currently. Have a great night ya’ll!

Why on earth would family members be so rude that’s dreadful behaviour being IC isn’t easy at all I’m 55 it’s only the. Last 6 months I’ve become IC myself I’ve been lucky close family members and work colleagues have been amazing and very supportive that’s tuff especially with the other trauma you have experienced wearing nappies/Diapers isn’t shameful at all I do feel inadequate sometimes but not because I’m wearing it’s because I feel like I’m getting older quicker for me wearing a nappy has transformed my life back to normal and not once has anyone said anything to me ooooo are you wearing a nappy I wear to work and it’s a busy environment my situation is I can’t get changed through the day so I’ve found 4 different nappies that cope with my needs your need different ones because they do ran out of stock which is annoying

 

[moorey]

Getting ready for bed and then I read your post. Now I’m mad. I can’t comprehend how any human can do that to another human. I hope you have sought therapy or have close friends that you can confide in. I’m so sorry that happened

I am however glad you joined as there are quite a few of us who suffer from some form of incontinence. Please don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed for something you have little control over. It took me a long time to accept my need for diapers to manage my urge incontinence. It didn’t help that my parents and siblings shamed me for wearing them when I was younger.

Welcome aboard and I hope we can all help each other.

What a lovely reply

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

I feel like you probably fell asleep already. You didn't sleep well last night, so it was probably lights out almost the second your head hit the pillow. Good. Rest. You need it. You deserve it.

See you in the morning.

I fell asleep so fast I didn’t even put the rest of my pjs on. Slept straight through the night until my dog woke me up at 6 wanting food. Been laying down all morning. I have severe insomnia, so I haven’t gotten sleep like this in a long time!! Had a nightmare though, so been trying to change out of my diaper in a fresh one. But the dream I had makes me feel super vulnerable.

The diaper actually makes me feel safe. Like an extra layer of protection from the world. Coming from an area that was so abused. Does that make sense?

So now I’m just trying to get the courage to change. So I can continue resting. Feeling lazy but if I can sleep I want to take it

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

I hope you have a peaceful night's sleep!

Staying hydrated is very high on the list of healthy habits, so if wearing enables that, you could look into finding pull ups or briefs you would be comfortable wearing daily that is more discrete if discretion is a concern. Being dehydrated leads to some very unwanted side-effects. Also, needing to wear protection as an adult is not weird and in no way wrong!

I actually deal with UTIs and kidney stones. So I think I’m finally realizing I need to figure this out. I’ve tried all kinds of pull ups. It’s just if I get an anxiety attack or panic attack and my bladder is full. It all comes out. I’ve leaked every single time. The tabbed diaper I wore last night was a tykable brand. I’m able to get a great fit without feeling pinched or anything. Or falling down after a wetting. Just wish I could find the same thing just not as bulky. I wear under armour golf pants (dry fit) for work everyday. I can’t tell if it’s noticeable or I’m just freaking out but it feels like I get a bulge in the front and back

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I fell asleep so fast I didn’t even put the rest of my pjs on. Slept straight through the night until my dog woke me up at 6 wanting food. Been laying down all morning. I have severe insomnia, so I haven’t gotten sleep like this in a long time!! Had a nightmare though, so been trying to change out of my diaper in a fresh one. But the dream I had makes me feel super vulnerable.

The diaper actually makes me feel safe. Like an extra layer of protection from the world. Coming from an area that was so abused. Does that make sense?

So now I’m just trying to get the courage to change. So I can continue resting. Feeling lazy but if I can sleep I want to take it

I'm glad you went right to sleep. You need to sleep. Do it now while you have the time. It sounds like your sleep deprivation is massive. Rest today while you are able.

It sounds like you had a flashback dream. I'm super sorry for that. Your feeling of safety in the diaper is actually very common among victims of sexual abuse. Tykables have outrageous capacity, and you might be able to get by a little longer while you recover from the nightmare, but obviously you're going to have to change it at some point.

The feeling of a safety hug may help you to feel better about wearing what you need to feel relaxed and heal. Unless your clothes are tight fitting, or you're wearing something huge like a Tykables, most diapers are not at all obvious under clothes. I'm sure you feel like it is, but it's probably not visible at all.

I'm sorry about the setback dream, but you're making such progress. It gladdens my heart to see the progress. Remember, all these horrors are working together for your good, even though right now we can't see how. God is good!

 

[southeastlittle]

I actually deal with UTIs and kidney stones.

I've fortunately never dealt with these, but have always heard/read that staying hydrated helps prevent kidney stones from developing. Certain beverages can lead to them, like energy drinks (Monster, Redbull, etc).

So I think I’m finally realizing I need to figure this out. I’ve tried all kinds of pull ups. It’s just if I get an anxiety attack or panic attack and my bladder is full. It all comes out. I’ve leaked every single time. The tabbed diaper I wore last night was a tykable brand. I’m able to get a great fit without feeling pinched or anything. Or falling down after a wetting. Just wish I could find the same thing just not as bulky. I wear under armour golf pants (dry fit) for work everyday. I can’t tell if it’s noticeable or I’m just freaking out but it feels like I get a bulge in the front and back

If you wear looser clothing and possibly longer tops to cover further down, that might help you feel less 'exposed'. Unfortunately any undergarment that is sufficiently absorbent is going to have more thickness to it, particularly when wet. Depending on your type of work, you might want to look into finding more dark colored pants (dark colors help disguise bulges), longer tops and looser/baggier pants. Just my thoughts!

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

I'm glad you went right to sleep. You need to sleep. Do it now while you have the time. It sounds like your sleep deprivation is massive. Rest today while you are able.

It sounds like you had a flashback dream. I'm super sorry for that. Your feeling of safety in the diaper is actually very common among victims of sexual abuse. Tykables have outrageous capacity, and you might be able to get by a little longer while you recover from the nightmare, but obviously you're going to have to change it at some point.

The feeling of a safety hug may help you to feel better about wearing what you need to feel relaxed and heal. Unless your clothes are tight fitting, or you're wearing something huge like a Tykables, most diapers are not at all obvious under clothes. I'm sure you feel like it is, but it's probably not visible at all.

I'm sorry about the setback dream, but you're making such progress. It gladdens my heart to see the progress. Remember, all these horrors are working together for your good, even though right now we can't see how. God is good!

I got into a new one! Went back to bed. Tykables and Megamax are what I have at home currently. Along with tykable boosters(thought just a booster would make me feel secure enough to sleep at night #wrong). Let me know if you think these products are good to try.

Incontrol brand: getting samples of 3 different absorbency’s, a pocket diaper with inserts…seemed interesting, and a prefold cloth with pins.

Then a plastic back supreme and cloth back from north shore

Maybe if I find a good day one I can keep the tykables for night. They are just so comfy cozy and secure feeling

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

I've fortunately never dealt with these, but have always heard/read that staying hydrated helps prevent kidney stones from developing. Certain beverages can lead to them, like energy drinks (Monster, Redbull, etc).

If you wear looser clothing and possibly longer tops to cover further down, that might help you feel less 'exposed'. Unfortunately any undergarment that is sufficiently absorbent is going to have more thickness to it, particularly when wet. Depending on your type of work, you might want to look into finding more dark colored pants (dark colors help disguise bulges), longer tops and looser/baggier pants. Just my thoughts!

Thanks for the tips! I go to customers houses damaged by storms and write estimates and them back to normal living again. Attire is khakis and a polo tucked in. I’m good enough at my job my boss does get after me about the tucked in shirt. I always look well presented compared to others lol. I have black under armour golf pants and navy. Maybe I should by a couple more of those. Navy is probably dark enough right?

 

[Eclectic]

The diaper actually makes me feel safe. Like an extra layer of protection from the world. Coming from an area that was so abused. Does that make sense?

It makes a massive amount of sense! You are worthy of feeling safe and protected. Keep it up!

 

[Edgewater]

I got into a new one! Went back to bed. Tykables and Megamax are what I have at home currently. Along with tykable boosters(thought just a booster would make me feel secure enough to sleep at night #wrong). Let me know if you think these products are good to try.

Incontrol brand: getting samples of 3 different absorbency’s, a pocket diaper with inserts…seemed interesting, and a prefold cloth with pins.

Then a plastic back supreme and cloth back from north shore

Maybe if I find a good day one I can keep the tykables for night. They are just so comfy cozy and secure feeling

Remember with cloth, pre-folded diapers, you will need plastic pants (diaper cover)!

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I got into a new one! Went back to bed. Tykables and Megamax are what I have at home currently. Along with tykable boosters(thought just a booster would make me feel secure enough to sleep at night #wrong). Let me know if you think these products are good to try.

Incontrol brand: getting samples of 3 different absorbency’s, a pocket diaper with inserts…seemed interesting, and a prefold cloth with pins.

Then a plastic back supreme and cloth back from north shore

Maybe if I find a good day one I can keep the tykables for night. They are just so comfy cozy and secure feeling

Rest, rest, rest. Its importance in healing, physical and emotional, cannot be overstated, and I'm so glad you're getting it now, and I can hear an optimism in your latest posts that is awesome.

All the products you've mentioned are excellent, but everyone will have different experiences and preferences. You're going to have to do exactly what you're doing; try some things to find what works for you. For example, the MagaMax is an excellent product, and I know of two people just among those who responded to this thread who swear by them, but personally, I don't like them. If the Tykables gave you a great night's sleep, no need to change that unless you can't get them anymore, for example, but you might find other products which work just as well, but cost less. I don't remember what Tykables cost; I've never bought them. I did already know about them, though.

For daytime, there's a trade off: the longer it will work effectively, the harder it will be to hide. However, most people can hide more than they think they can. The Supreme and AirSupreme are excellent day diapers, which I very much liked, but I've switched to Tranquility ATNs, as they're a lot less money and work almost as well, for me. 2 or 3 of any of those should get you through a day easily, plus your Tykables at night. I don't recommend Tykables during the day, as they're more expensive, innately harder to hide due to their thickness, and the fact that you're awake means you can change at some point partway through the day, so you don't need a diaper that can last for 10 hours. Black and navy pants are good choices for hiding minor leaks, but I think you're going to find that once you get the right products, it doesn't become an issue all that often. Experiment at home, so that when you're on the road, you're wearing something you've proven and can trust.

I'm so happy that you're sounding so upbeat. If there's anything else I can do to help, I'm honored to do so!

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

I feel like a diaper cover would make me sweat more. Or are the cloth diapers more comfortable sweat wise? And do you know if they whisk moisture away or no?

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I feel like a diaper cover would make me sweat more. Or are the cloth diapers more comfortable sweat wise? And do you know if they whisk moisture away or no?

Cloth diapers feel much wetter than disposables. The disposables use polymers to pull the wetness out of the fibers, and cloth can't do that. It just occurred to me that if you're having rash challenges with disposables, cloth may not work for you. It is worth a try, but be very conscious of your skin. As far as the diaper cover making you sweat, it's not much different from a plastic backed disposable diaper. In both cases you have an airtight containment, only the cover might be a bit bigger. Might.... There's many variables there.

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

Rest, rest, rest. Its importance in healing, physical and emotional, cannot be overstated, and I'm so glad you're getting it now, and I can hear an optimism in your latest posts that is awesome.

All the products you've mentioned are excellent, but everyone will have different experiences and preferences. You're going to have to do exactly what you're doing; try some things to find what works for you. For example, the MagaMax is an excellent product, and I know of two people just among those who responded to this thread who swear by them, but personally, I don't like them. If the Tykables gave you a great night's sleep, no need to change that unless you can't get them anymore, for example, but you might find other products which work just as well, but cost less. I don't remember what Tykables cost; I've never bought them. I did already know about them, though.

For daytime, there's a trade off: the longer it will work effectively, the harder it will be to hide. However, most people can hide more than they think they can. The Supreme and AirSupreme are excellent day diapers, which I very much liked, but I've switched to Tranquility ATNs, as they're a lot less money and work almost as well, for me. 2 or 3 of any of those should get you through a day easily, plus your Tykables at night. I don't recommend Tykables during the day, as they're more expensive, innately harder to hide due to their thickness, and the fact that you're awake means you can change at some point partway through the day, so you don't need a diaper that can last for 10 hours. Black and navy pants are good choices for hiding minor leaks, but I think you're going to find that once you get the right products, it doesn't become an issue all that often. Experiment at home, so that when you're on the road, you're wearing something you've proven and can trust.

I'm so happy that you're sounding so upbeat. If there's anything else I can do to help, I'm honored to do so!

Please keep in touch. I just had an anxiety attack. And when I do, all these thoughts come flooding in. Especially because I do have some control left. I should just take the diapers off and go back to normal and keep trying to make it work. Since I have to leave the house tomorrow I’m stressing. As I’m still coming down from the attack, I just feel I’m doing something wrong when probably 20% of the time, if I’m paying attention real close, I can make it to the bathroom. Couple hours ago I was relaxing on the couch and felt the sight urge to go. And I just let it go because I didn’t want to have to try and get relaxed and comfy again

 

[Edgewater]

I commonly do not recommend cloth diapers to someone until they are more comfortable with wearing diapers daily and as a result have an understand of how much absorbency they need and what features are important.

Cloth diapers were once the only thing that was available as disposables back then were true junk. Today, the start-up costs of cloth diapers are extensive as is the number of support products and time needed. Those of us that wear cloth diapers have worn them for a long time and understand that Diaper Covers are a reality as they keep the urine in and helps move it around the diaper. For me, I have worn them for a very long time and the sweating is just a reality of wearing diapers, whether it is a disposable or a cloth diaper.

At this point, you are very busy with other things and what is available within the disposable lines will handle your requirements for now. Six months to a year from now would be a good time to consider whether cloth is a good option for you.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Please keep in touch. I just had an anxiety attack. And when I do, all these thoughts come flooding in. Especially because I do have some control left. I should just take the diapers off and go back to normal and keep trying to make it work. Since I have to leave the house tomorrow I’m stressing. As I’m still coming down from the attack, I just feel I’m doing something wrong when probably 20% of the time, if I’m paying attention real close, I can make it to the bathroom. Couple hours ago I was relaxing on the couch and felt the sight urge to go. And I just let it go because I didn’t want to have to try and get relaxed and comfy again

I'm happy to help you any way I can, and I'm usually here these days. 20% of the time is not a passing grade on anything, so clearly you need to help yourself by wearing protection. That is a genuine need, and we must define normal according to our needs, not others' needs.

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

I’m at the crying stage currently. When do I know to try again without them? I wish there was someone I could come up with a plan. Check in on me and make sure I’m wearing 24/7, and staying hydrated and sleeping. Then like a goal day to make it to and then evaluate.

I work 80 hour weeks. With 3 TBIs, PTSD and ADHD, it’s really hard to sometimes take care of basic things