D-Brief

A working healthy relationship is give and take , she does not need to take away your diapers nor should you let her , negotiate a compromise that does not boil down to giving up some part of yourself , no one who really loves someone will say it's my way or the highway because that inevitably leads to someone being Hurt , if you have trouble finding a compromise consider Mediation services . Giving up something completely to please someone else is about as easy as giving up breathing ,it will work in the short term but will fail down the road a bit , trying to give it up will lead to not feeling welcome in your home and cause you to avoid it , to spend some time diapered , then the allegations of putting work before family, cheating with another person etc.. starts , so be the role model for adult behaviour and clue her in to how destructive this will be to both of and find the compromise . I have been a mediator since I was in high school and have seen relationships on the rocks many times over stupid things ( would you and I consider ending a relationship because one of us uses to many Q-tips to clean our ears, your probably laughing saying that's absurd , but I have mediated it ) .

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reptilious said:

Since my partner hates it when I wear diapers I've been on the lookout for something discreet. I saw D-Briefs advertised on TV and wondered if they were any good? I'm guessing the absorbency is limited but would anyone be fooled into thinking they were just normal underpants?
Has anyone tried them, or something similar?
Here's the website incase you're curious: http://dbrief.co.nz/

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WOW, a lot of negative feedback here. Honestly, I don't know EXACTLY what you're looking for, but, FOR ME, wearing isn't necessarily about absorption. For me, it's about options. No, I haven't tried these, and probably won't, since they appear to come from NZ, but I do use pullups every day 24/7, including Depends RealFits, and Reassure Overnights, and I find life in them tolerable. Granted, they don't hold a lot, but they hold enough to let me be wet, to take the edge off, and, as a soaker inside a diaper, they do fine. Point is, you could easily use this product, maybe in combo with a baby diaper insert, and have wetabiliity, comfort, and sufficient cush to feel like your diapered. If your wife can't accept that you made this compromise for her, then maybe she needs to evaluate her life with you, or you evaluate yours with her. It's undies. Yes, it's a little kinky, but so what?

Others have suggested multiple undies. That might work, too, if you can just wet to an extent, and use facilities for anything beyond. Yes, your wife might wonder why you're wearing five pairs, and leaking into them, but again, it's your life & body, not hers.

So, I don't know. You have to decide what you're looking for. If it's having a bit of the look, feel & function, then buy some, and see if they fit the bill. Don't expect your wife to wholeheartedly embrace the idea, but expect her to accept a compromise that gives you a level of deniability (with coworkers, etc), and still deals with your desire for something special down under...

Jamieboy said:

WOW, a lot of negative feedback here....

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And then you posted the exact same things that everyone else did. So is what you posted negative? Or is it your perception of what others are posting the thing that is negative? I haven't seen any negative comments, only people trying to help the OP as best as we can.

Here's a compromise that she will beg you to go back to disposables , get 14 cloth diapers of the pull on variety , she will have to do laundry at the least every 2 days to ensure they are clean and dry and ready to wear , and make sure you give them a real wet down before taking them off , and use a dry pail that will stink to high heaven, and like I say she will probably beg you within two months to go back to diapers. Caring for cloth properly is a job , I wear and it's a full + time job for my aide 7 hours a day 7 days a week to care for me and my diapers.


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Tetra said:

Here's a compromise that she will beg you to go back to disposables , get 14 cloth diapers of the pull on variety , she will have to do laundry at the least every 2 days to ensure they are clean and dry and ready to wear , and make sure you give them a real wet down before taking them off , and use a dry pail that will stink to high heaven, and like I say she will probably beg you within two months to go back to diapers. Caring for cloth properly is a job , I wear and it's a full + time job for my aide 7 hours a day 7 days a week to care for me and my diapers.

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Sexist!

Maybe he does the laundry in their household!

No its just an assumption that domestic roles in the home have not progressed as fast in most homes as we would like to think , and the homes were there is a more equitable partnership tend to have more "relaxed" dynamic were doesn't matter what your sex is if it needs doing and your there you do it and considering that the founder of NOW was over for dinner last week, its surprising that you would find that sexist because it's actually a damn shame we have not progressed farther than we have, incidently I cooked , but as a CIA graduate and formerly a caterer ( doesn't matter your sex when on the job you better be able to do something other than burn water because every shift a different Firefighter prepares the meal in turn , we decide what we want and we shop for it and it's your job to feed your brothers and sisters , failure is not an option) , I certainly was not going to feed her Chinese takeout , and we left the dishes for my aide , a man . I was raised solely by women between my Mom and Sister Charles who was a micro biologist from an order in the south , I was taught more than I could possibly ever communicate about just how large a problem gender roles are and has gotten screwed up , in my house I don't see a gender or defined role if I can do it I do, if I can't my aide does it, doesn't matter what gender my particular aide is , although my current aide has been with me for almost 9 years and is a male ,before him I had 2 aides both female , and I actually paid them higher because they had to do far more care of me when I was paralyzed. So sexist I am not , having a lack of faith in my fellow MAN guilty as charged .

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There is a BIG difference between honest and negative. Coddling a person by holding back on honesty does not help that person. Sometimes if you really want to positively help someone you have to be honest, even if that also means being harsh.

Take my comments for example, not a one was remotely negative or meant in hatred in any way. They were truthful though, and if taken to heart will more than likely make a positive impact for the OP.

BabyDenise said:

Sexist!

Maybe he does the laundry in their household!

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LOL

Tetra said:

No its just an assumption that domestic roles in the home have not progressed as fast in most homes as we would like to think ,

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who says they should?

My wife does the laundry. It's womens' work. I'll help on laundry when she stacks 3 cords of firewood or spreads 17 yards of loam to plant a new lawn.

Doesn't mean I don't pitch in in the house and clean up after myself, but gender roles exist for a reason and there's nothing wrong with that.

LittleICme said:

You might try:

https://www.amazon.com/Wearever-Washable-Incontinence-Underwear-Medium/dp/B005LORKIK

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Thank you for the link

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Jamieboy said:

WOW, a lot of negative feedback here....

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I agree, some of the other posters are quite rude. Thank you for your friendly and supportive comment, it has renewed my faith in this site

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BabyDenise said:

Sexist!

Maybe he does the laundry in their household!

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As a matter of fact I do my own laundry LOL

Slomo said:

Take my comments for example, not a one was remotely negative or meant in hatred in any way. They were truthful though, and if taken to heart will more than likely make a positive impact for the OP.

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It’s definitely not your fault. Some people don’t want to be helped, they want to be encouraged in their endeavor, and think pointing out the mistakes in their boat design before they launch it is being rude rather than trying to save them a costly effort that will end up with it sinking. Constructive criticism doesn’t work with them as they won’t listen, they really do have to learn the hard way.

Let me just tell you a little story about an imaginary trip to the doctor that I hope will give you some insight into how "helpful" your "honestly" and "constructive criticism" really is:

Me: Hello Doc, I have a sore toe.
Doctor: There is nothing else for it, I'll have to amputate the whole leg.
Me: What? That can't be right!
Doctor: I know what I'm doing, now get up on the table while I fetch my saw.
Me: Don't you want to ask me some questions first? Maybe take a look at the toe?
Doctor: I have years of training, I don't need to learn the details, I just know.
Me: It's not realy that bad, I think it's just a splinter.
Doctor: Disagreeing with my diagnosis? You must have a mental problem as well, I'm scheduling immediate brain surgery.
Me: I think I need a second opinion.

reptilious said:

Let me just tell you a little story about an imaginary trip to the doctor that I hope will give you some insight into how "helpful" your "honestly" and "constructive criticism" really is:

Me: Hello Doc, I have a sore toe.
Doctor: There is nothing else for it, I'll have to amputate the whole leg.
Me: What? That can't be right!
Doctor: I know what I'm doing, now get up on the table while I fetch my saw.
Me: Don't you want to ask me some questions first? Maybe take a look at the toe?
Doctor: I have years of training, I don't need to learn the details, I just know.
Me: It's not realy that bad, I think it's just a splinter.
Doctor: Disagreeing with my diagnosis? You must have a mental problem as well, I'm scheduling immediate brain surgery.
Me: I think I need a second opinion.

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Your point with this story? You came to an advice site and thats what you got based on experience (over a half a dozen people's in fact). No one has been rude to you (with the exception of when I got snarky with you after you kind of behaved like a jerk), you chose to take offense. This was despite your insistence on being sarcastic and snarky when replying to any opinion you didn't like hearing which wasn’t appreciated which is why you got the reactions you did (fyi, you’re little story above is very combative and inviting actual rudeness). Believe it or not, we are trying to save you some grief. We’ve been in relationships. Are you denying you are trying to hide something from your girlfriend? Cause your first post very much makes it seem like you plan on hiding this from her. People don’t don’t like secrets, especially when it is their partner, and many see this type of thing as a form of cheating, alot of us here have experience with that and it always comes back to bite you in the keaster and that thing thing is not thick enough to protect you when the bite is delivered.… we know what it’s like to try and wear underwear with moderate pads in place of diapers, it’s not going to fill those needs, you’ll probably wear them 2 times and throw them out. They are designed not to feel like diapers. But take our advice with a grain of salt, you don’t have to take it at all, theres no need to be pugnacious about it though.

rennecfox said:

Your point with this story?

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My point is that it is important to learn all the facts before coming to a conclusion. You have leapt to the conclusion that my relationship is broken and needs to be fixed. If you knew the full story you would realise that is not true.

Why then, you may be asking yourself, have I not told you the full story?

Two reasons:
1 I wanted this discussion to be about a product, not my motivations for investigating it.
2. No one asked.

reptilious said:

"Why then, you may be asking yourself, have I not told you the full story?

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No that's not the question was asked myself at all, my question is why you insist on being so combative with people who have only tried to help you even if you don't appreciate their input? This discussion is bumping this thread which automatically gets locked after 3 weeks of inactivity giving other people who have not seen the comment a chance to possibly see it before a chance to reply. For one thing if you didn't want this input why did you even mention her? Theres an edit button you could have made it just be a question about the briefs, you chose to volunteer the information. But frankly I'm done arguing with with you (so don't bother replying to me). I wish your girlfriend and you luck in this relationship, if this is how you act with her, you're both going to need it.