"You make us look bad"

[ArchieRoni]

I suspect that part of the variety in reaction in this thread is the result of ABDL meaning different things to different people. For some, diapers and baby items are fetish items: they're arousing and associated with sexuality. Taking that out in public feels disturbing because sexual things in public are disturbing. Seeing other people out in public with a "fetish object" feels wrong as a result.

Some people, on the other hand, see ABDL as an identity. They don't wear diapers to become aroused, they wear them because they feel wrong in their own bodies when they're not diapered. For some, the idea of being able to appear publicly as a young child feels deeply right because that's who they are, and seeing other people freely engaging in behaviors they'd like to try is an empowering moment.

Neither side is right or wrong. Like Trevor said, we each need to deal with people ourselves, as best we can.

 

[caitianx]

I suspect that part of the variety in reaction in this thread is the result of ABDL meaning different things to different people. For some, diapers and baby items are fetish items: they're arousing and associated with sexuality. Taking that out in public feels disturbing because sexual things in public are disturbing. Seeing other people out in public with a "fetish object" feels wrong as a result.

Some people, on the other hand, see ABDL as an identity. They don't wear diapers to become aroused, they wear them because they feel wrong in their own bodies when they're not diapered. For some, the idea of being able to appear publicly as a young child feels deeply right because that's who they are, and seeing other people freely engaging in behaviors they'd like to try is an empowering moment.

Neither side is right or wrong. Like Trevor said, we each need to deal with people ourselves, as best we can.

A very good point...

 

[plasticsounds]

I like what both buridan and Trevor have said. As I was reading these responses I remembered there was another guy who lived his life outwardly as an adult baby. I can't remember his name, but he's been referenced a number of times on this site. He was known as the town character, because he would drive into town to shop for food, etc., in full baby clothes which included being diapered. Articles were written about him.

I mention him merely to point out that people have done this, lived openly as an adult baby and survived. Yes, society thought they were the strangest people if not on earth, then certainly in their town. But life goes on, just as those unique individuals lives went on, and everyone somehow survived.

William Windsor is exactly the type of person that challenges the status quo and presents to the admittedly unsuspecting public, a different way of living life.

In my previous post, my intent was not to poke fun or disrespect the plight of homosexual or transgendered people. It was simply meant to point out that throughout history many lifestyles that have been taboo, can become accepted simply by society getting used to seeing it.

I do have a problem with the diminishing of our lifestyle (AB/DL in particular). Just because society cannot understand why we all have the desire to wear diapers or act infantile, doesn't make those inclinations less important to us.

Let us be careful not to place one lifestyle choice above another. These are very personal feelings. My desire to act and feel childlike is no less important to me than a transgendered person's desire to be the gender they want to be. For you to be angry that I make that comparison is frankly not fair. These are my personal feelings. They have nothing to do with my respect for all that live against the grain of society.

 

[Calico]

William Windsor was actually transgender which was why she was a little girl. She had always felt female on the inside and decided to live her lifestyle as an AB and come out as a girl. I can't remember the source unfortunately. I am sure if you google it, maybe that long article might show up again.

 

[CrazySmoker]

Culturally acceptable: http://www.japan-guide.com/g8/2080_05.jpg

Culturally Deviant: http://i1.wp.com/www.dailycal.org/assets/uploads/2013/11/tom-baby-e1383406706270.jpg

Standard in many societies (That have less greed and war than us): http://www.svsoggypaws.com/blog2014/apr/MenBoysinLoincloth.jpg

Just right out terrible: http://www.adriansurley.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/diaper-in-public-300x160.jpg

Does anybody see a double standard?

See the second one... I meant this example before - those are doing the worse service in public.

But seriously... Imagine I've some restaurant, not very bad situated and frecuented. One time come some stupid jerk with social inteligence around zero and starts messing his diaper... Wtf I do ? That person can destroy my bussines. So wtf. I do ? Answer: "Go out from here freaky asshole..." I'm sorry, nothing happens act childish, nothing happens for dress "strange" clothes, but I wanna not any stinky around. ICs normally tending to limit their problem into maximal invisibility and minimal incomodity, can you see the difference ?

We're free to act how we can, but it ends wherever we invovling way of others. Be stinky and doing stupidities is disrepectfull to others, indiferent if are or not ABDLs.

 

[Tyger]

But seriously... Imagine I've some restaurant, not very bad situated and frecuented. One time come some stupid jerk with social inteligence around zero and starts messing his diaper... Wtf I do ? That person can destroy my bussines. So wtf. I do ? Answer: "Go out from here freaky asshole..." I'm sorry, nothing happens act childish, nothing happens for dress "strange" clothes, but I wanna not any stinky around. ICs normally tending to limit their problem into maximal invisibility and minimal incomodity, can you see the difference ?

Yeah, I think that makes sense, it is perfectly within the right of a business owner to kick a person out that the person deems inappropriate and disruptive to business. But if that person is just hanging out on the streets, there isn't a lot that can be done.

 

[plasticsounds]

See the second one... I meant this example before - those are doing the worse service in public.

But seriously... Imagine I've some restaurant, not very bad situated and frecuented. One time come some stupid jerk with social inteligence around zero and starts messing his diaper... Wtf I do ? That person can destroy my bussines. So wtf. I do ? Answer: "Go out from here freaky asshole..." I'm sorry, nothing happens act childish, nothing happens for dress "strange" clothes, but I wanna not any stinky around. ICs normally tending to limit their problem into maximal invisibility and minimal incomodity, can you see the difference ?

We're free to act how we can, but it ends wherever we invovling way of others. Be stinky and doing stupidities is disrepectfull to others, indiferent if are or not ABDLs.

Here, you have hit upon the point I originally made. Victimization. At no point do we have the right to victimize others just for our enjoyment. That includes violating their smell-space. People who do this are bad examples of AB/DLs in society. That is why we need to present positive, pleasant-smelling examples of how real AB/DLs live, even if 'normal' people think it's weird.


--I'm going to be a dick here, but please, for the love of god, spell check.

 

[dogboy]

William Windsor is exactly the type of person that challenges the status quo and presents to the admittedly unsuspecting public, a different way of living life.

In my previous post, my intent was not to poke fun or disrespect the plight of homosexual or transgendered people. It was simply meant to point out that throughout history many lifestyles that have been taboo, can become accepted simply by society getting used to seeing it.

I do have a problem with the diminishing of our lifestyle (AB/DL in particular). Just because society cannot understand why we all have the desire to wear diapers or act infantile, doesn't make those inclinations less important to us.

Let us be careful not to place one lifestyle choice above another. These are very personal feelings. My desire to act and feel childlike is no less important to me than a transgendered person's desire to be the gender they want to be. For you to be angry that I make that comparison is frankly not fair. These are my personal feelings. They have nothing to do with my respect for all that live against the grain of society.

I'm guessing the "you" you are referring to is someone other than me as I haven't commented negatively nor in anger to anyone, either on this topic or any other, that I can think of, unless of course, I'm schizophrenic and have no idea what I'm saying...lol. More so, I agree with what you are saying and in fact, agree. We've seen a lot of so called taboo lifestyles gradually become accepted over time. I'm doubtful that public displays of infantalism will become accepted in the near future, but I've been wrong before. I never thought I'd see the day the Berlin wall would come down, but that's part of history now.

Virginia, the state where I live, is hotly debating gay/same sex marriage. One of the arguments for it reminds us that at one time, mixed raced marriages were illegal. To think negatively today would put one in a small minority. Now gay marriages are supported by sixty percent of the population. Still, dressing out as a baby and going public seems to me to be asking for problems. Fetishes and alternative lifestyles associated with them is something that most participants keep behind closed doors. There may come a day when those doors will open to the light, but not yet. I am surprised how far we've come with acceptance in other areas. Time has a way of opening people's minds to new ideas.

 

[Clarity]

People need to stop comparing adult babies and diaper lovers to gay rights. There is absolutely no correlation. Some people need to face that AB/DL will never be fully accepted by the public. What is wrong with keeping your fetish to yourself? Why do random people on the street need to know about you being an adult baby? The answer is nobody does.

 

[plasticsounds]

People need to stop comparing adult babies and diaper lovers to gay rights. There is absolutely no correlation. Some people need to face that AB/DL will never be fully accepted by the public. What is wrong with keeping your fetish to yourself? Why do random people on the street need to know about you being an adult baby? The answer is nobody does.

The comparison is not gay rights vs. AB/DL rights. My reason for the example is comparing how society now accepts something that was once totally unacceptable. I don't feel oppressed as a Diaper Lover. I certainly understand the difference between living 'out' as a gay person and living 'out' as an AB/DL today. Fifty years ago, this conversation would have a different tone.

All I am saying is that the hard edges of what's acceptable soften over time. That's a good thing.

As always I like to try and bring the discussion back to the OP's question, making us look bad. Yesterday I was home doing home things and I was wearing my favorite diaper. I spent a moment in front of the mirror and took a look at the older man staring back at me, wearing a diaper. As much as I enjoy wearing diapers, and as much as looking baby-ish is a part of it, I can sympathize with society's misgivings about seeing people in baby clothes. It does look...awkward.

I periodically like to be honest with myself. Then I like to go back to my normal state of denial.

 

[Drifter]

People need to stop comparing adult babies and diaper lovers to gay rights. There is absolutely no correlation. Some people need to face that AB/DL will never be fully accepted by the public. What is wrong with keeping your fetish to yourself? Why do random people on the street need to know about you being an adult baby? The answer is nobody does.

Society sees behavior that is far outside social norms as 'deviant', and expects deviant behavior to remain hidden. ABDL behavior and homosexuality are related in the sense that both are likely caused by the same physiological process in our early development. They are also related in the sense that there is a strong, negative, social reaction to them both. Where they differ is in how easy it is to keep them hidden from society. The ABDLs don't like living in the closet any more than the gays, but it is obviously easier to hide a diaper than it is to hide a life partner, so there is understandable pressure from the gay community to make homosexuality socially acceptable. The ABDLs don't have as strong a case, and I agree with you, they will never be fully accepted by the public.

 

[Calico]

Just as long as AB/DL is a kink and a sexual fetish, it will never be accepted in public, same goes for pubic urination and feces and scat play or BDSM play or other kink play.

 

[Trevor]

Just as long as AB/DL is a kink and a sexual fetish, it will never be accepted in public, same goes for pubic urination and feces and scat play or BDSM play or other kink play.

I don't think that's necessarily the case. Even for people who enjoy it sexually, diapers and a lot of the trappings work in the real world without any big sexual meaning. Latex, for instance is a fetish/kink but wearing items of latex, while certainly unusual doesn't drive people insane. I don't even know what I want for us in particular as ABDLs.

To me, there's not much upside in being obvious in public unless everyone around me was in on the game. That's impossible for the general public, so this has low appeal to me. However, I do hang out with other ABDLs and being able to be comfortable going about our business with little ABDL tweaks is nice. More than one person forms a culture of its own and it's natural to express that in some way. It enhances the illusion when it's not just tied to the bedroom and enters other areas of life as caregivers do with children.

I don't see this overall question as having an easy or singular answer. I am mindful of others who aren't involved but if we've taken all reasonable precautions and someone sees something odd, I'm not going to be wracked with guilt, either. I guess what I would hope is for society in general is to be a bit less hung up on such trivial weirdness, whether it be diapers, collars, leather, etc.

 

[Calico]

Diapers are worn under clothes and hidden. I have never seen anyone wear latex but isn't it worn under clothing, same as for panties and bras and I know some men have those kinks as well. People can use clothing to justify going as AB in public. I have even been told I should fake being mentally handicapped so I ca get awya with a public diaper change or going as public AB so I did a thread about it here one time. Some unfortunately have faked brain damage or head injuries or severe autism to get their diapers changed by a caregiver. But what baffles me is how they managed to pull it and how they were able to hire them and not be seen by their caregivers when they show up. Did they think the patient was left alone when they arrived? These are examples of making us look bad and involving other people in it.

But even with the mentally handicapped I have never seen either of them be dressed up as littles or adult babies or being changed in public or with a pacifier or bottle or sippy cup.

 

[ArchieRoni]

Going out in costume isn't a big deal. Imagine just wearing a Sesame Street t-shirt and overalls. No diapers, just an outward appearance that's unusually childish. I don't see how that's an issue ever.

Where there's concern is when behaviors cross the line into creepy, people draw attention and make themselves newsworthy, or where things like smells are so generally recognized as offensive that it's really rude and thoughtless to force others to endure them.

 

[Trevor]

Diapers are worn under clothes and hidden. I have never seen anyone wear latex but isn't it worn under clothing, same as for panties and bras and I know some men have those kinks as well. People can use clothing to justify going as AB in public. I have even been told I should fake being mentally handicapped so I ca get awya with a public diaper change or going as public AB so I did a thread about it here one time. Some unfortunately have faked brain damage or head injuries or severe autism to get their diapers changed by a caregiver. But what baffles me is how they managed to pull it and how they were able to hire them and not be seen by their caregivers when they show up. Did they think the patient was left alone when they arrived? These are examples of making us look bad and involving other people in it.

But even with the mentally handicapped I have never seen either of them be dressed up as littles or adult babies or being changed in public or with a pacifier or bottle or sippy cup.

This is a mighty weird side of the discussion for me to be on but I think I have to pursue it to its reasonable conclusion. You're right that diapers are underwear, although culturally that doesn't stop us from having kids run around in just their diapers and that's the bit that has resonance with a lot of ABDLs as we see from threads about what people like to wear with their diapers.

I didn't mean to get stuck on latex as it's just one fetish area that has become if not mainstream, at least more accepted. Here's a link to a story about Kim Kardashian's dress from an awards show: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...-wears-London-designer-s-creations-AGAIN.html and she's not the only one I've ever seen. It is mostly women. I see these as sort of staking out territory in the same way as Emma Peel in the old Avengers show did with leather catsuits: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...-slinky-catsuit-new-Chanel-advertisement.html (scroll down for a pic of Dianna Rigg for comparison). She hit the scene and it was deemed sexy, and suddenly leather catsuits were (in a similar way) not exactly accepted wear but no longer scandalous. I don't expect this with a diaper ensemble, although there are occasional forays into that kind of naughtiness with things like this: http://assets.rollingstone.com/asse...silverstone-77203/26575632-26575634-large.jpg. I don't want to ramble but just again to say that I don't think it's a simple matter and nothing that will be resolved with a single answer.

 

[Barush]

76 replies which I'm not reading so this might have been said already.
The television network finds the worst people because they know it will bring in the views. "haha, look at this manchild etc".
If they got "normal" AB/DLs it would be a boring show.

 

[Calico]

I think the ones who truly make us look bad are the ones who fake a disability to get their diapers changed by someone and to be cared for and someone who goes in the bedwetting forums or IC forums and posts their fantasies there and posting about their diapers and telling them how lucky they are to wear them and how they wish they could have their condition and the ones who fake IC to join IC groups to talk about diapers. Really we have AB/DL forums and there is such thing as fiction so write your fantasies in the fiction section and stay in your own groups (AB/DL forums). There are places just for you (AB/DL forums) so you don't need to go those medical forums.

 

[CookieMonstah]

Just saying about the whole not accepting us thing, 30-40 years ago homosexuals were not accepted and there weren't as many around like today, who knows now there are more ABDLs / littles that soon we might become so big as a crowd that people know about us and eventually accept it. I don't see it happening any time soon though.

 

[Clarity]

The difference is leather/bondage is a common fetish that a lot of people know exists. The comparison to AB/DL's just isn't there.