Very Very Angry Right Now - Help

[FatalGeometry]

I just need to vent. I haven't worn in 6 months, yet I've been craving it every single day. I finally started putting my plan into place to be able to wear again a few weeks ago and last weekend I made my order with NRU.

Since then I've been so excited about it that I haven't been able to sleep, only getting around 2 hours each night. I've also been unable to attend my University lectures since ordering because my excitement about this has been uncontrollable. If I went to any lectures people would definitely find out because I'm uncontrollably energised.

I've just had the notification this morning that despite paying for premium next day delivery, my order will not be getting delivered today as arranged but instead will deliver tomorrow. The reason: the pickup point I selected is full. Why DPD couldn't have told me that or at least let me choose a different one to keep them being delivered today I will never understand. But now I'm pissed.

Because the one day delivery delay is disastrous for me. That's another night of almost no sleep when I normally need 9 hours. That's another day of missed lectures because if I went in I would surely let something slip. That's a further 24 hours of being completely restless and feeling like I'm going insane. Genuinely, yesterday was horrible for me. Way too tired but unable to do anything about it, full of energy, autism ticking the word "diaper" constantly, just feeling like am absolute mess of a human and being unable to regulate any of my emotions. The only thing keeping me going was the promise of the diapers but now that's changed, and what if the pickup point is still full tomorrow? I can't wait any longer than that without tearing myself apart.

Everything was perfectly planned and now it's all falling apart, and my autistic brain can't handle the change and is now going ballistic. I feel like I'm about to have a psychotic episode. I have so many important things happening tomorrow that I really can't afford to miss but now I fear I will have to unless I can stop reflexively muttering about diapers. And to make it worse, my parents are coming to see me on Thursday. If I can't stop unconsciously talking about diapers by then they're gonna find out and will probably never speak to me again. It's all going to hell and I can't cope with it. I feel entirely trapped and helpless right now with the only solution unavailable due to factors outside of my control. I've contacted NRU and there's nothing they can do.

Someone please help me. I feel like I'm going crazy right now from all the stress and worry. And I'm worried I might just cancel the order altogether in a moment of panic once I inevitably once again come to think that this is disgusting and wrong. I've been fighting off the controlling side of myself for over a month trying to get this done and he's about to win. Please. I don't know what to do.

 

[Remington1911]

I'd go to the supermarket and buy some cheap diapers. They won't function the same as a premium diaper, but it may scratch the itch of wanting one until yours arrive.

 

[FatalGeometry]

I'd go to the supermarket and buy some cheap diapers. They won't function the same as a premium diaper, but it may scratch the itch of wanting one until yours arrive.

I can't do that. I'm not even able to go to a supermarket to buy food, let alone diapers.

 

[Remington1911]

I can't do that. I'm not even able to go to a supermarket to buy food, let alone diapers.

Sorry to hear that, hopefully they aren't delayed anymore and you receive them soon.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

@FatalGeometry, do you have any coping mechanisms that you use to help manage your emotions when they’re out of control?
(Perhaps stress toys, fidget spinners, or something to help with your stims?)

As someone else who is neurodivergent, it helps me to have some coping strategies to hand, so that when things don’t go to plan, you have a plan to manage yourself.

If diapers mean this much to you, consider seeing them as a medical need, especially if they help you feel more comfortable. I too find my diapers give me more confidence and I realise I need their comfort to function properly. However, this is to manage chronic pain. If you don’t wear 24/7, make sure you have a stash to hand when things get hard to handle.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[FatalGeometry]

@FatalGeometry, do you have any coping mechanisms that you use to help manage your emotions when they’re out of control?
(Perhaps stress toys, fidget spinners, or something to help with your stims?)

As someone else who is neurodivergent, it helps me to have some coping strategies to hand, so that when things don’t go to plan, you have a plan to manage yourself.

If diapers mean this much to you, consider seeing them as a medical need, especially if they help you feel more comfortable. I too find my diapers give me more confidence and I realise I need their comfort to function properly. However, this is to manage chronic pain. If you don’t wear 24/7, make sure you have a stash to hand when things get hard to handle.

I do have lots of coping mechanisms that I use, however none of them have been working. The only one I have that never fails is just to play videogames because I just forget about everything else when I do. All the ones I normally would use to regulate my emotions and my mood and to calm me down at times like these just aren't effective enough for dealing with how I feel right now.

As for considering them as a medical need, I really don't know. I've only worn a few times in the past but can safely say that each time was tremendous for my mental and emotional help, that is up until I inevitably purge. But I don't have the money to buy as often as I would need in order to characterise them as a coping mechanism, and I doubt that I could get any VAT exemption or anything of the sort because I'm continent.
However, I will say that in a perfect world, if it were possible, yes I definitely would have a big stash of a variety of styles available at all times to help me cope. But we don't live in a perfect world.

 

[VanHelsing]

Tell yourself, in a Liverpuddlian accent of course , "Calm Down, calm down". Stop fretting, it will be ok, I assure you.

How on earth are you going to cope with buying/renting a property or getting a job after university if you get this stressed out. I do Agree with Dinotopian2002, find a coping mechanism, life can be very harsh - no Idea why but the world does, sometimes, seems to be populated by complete imbeciles at times!!

 

[ade]

Not thought about pull up training pants (terry or flannel) and plastic pants as standbys?
You can always add to them (boosters, towels, etc) to suit your sensory needs.

 

[FatalGeometry]

How on earth are you going to cope with buying/renting a property or getting a job after university if you get this stressed out. I do Agree with Dinotopian2002, find a coping mechanism, life can be very harsh - no Idea why but the world does, sometimes, seems to be populated by complete imbeciles at times!!

That was needlessly rude. Tell me you don't understand ND people without telling me you don't understand ND people.

I don't f***ing know how I'm gonna cope, okay? I really don't. Most weeks I struggle so much with executive function and similar issues that I don't eat for days because I just forget to or am just unable to for some reason. Eating, sleeping, bathing, cleaning, laundry, cooking, self-care, studying. It's all inconsistent as balls because I just can't cope. I was born into a world where I can't survive because NT people see my intellect and assume that I can function perfectly fine and thus I don't get any support with any of it. I had to wait months for my disability aid money to come through when others who applied after me had theirs done in under a week.

But yeah, I guess I'm just an imbecile.

I've only ever been employed once before, for a few months before getting laid off for not working enough shifts. I was on a 0 hour contract at a company where they had full time staff booked for every shift, and nobody was booking annual leave. It would have been physically impossible for me to work enough to not get laid off. But I didn't get this explained to me for years. I simply received an email informing me that my employment had been terminated, no reason, no communication, nothing. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to get a job ever, or buy or rent property ever, or be a "fully functioning member of society" EVER.

I guess I'm just an imbecile.

I succeeded in school because I had support. There were people around me that could help me out with the things I could not do on my own. I was among the top 50 students in my city for GCSEs, because I had support. I'm intelligent, I just struggle with some more practical things.

I suppose maybe I am just an imbecile.

After all, how can someone in a wheelchair ever live a full life without use of their legs? Or a blind person without use of their eyes? Or a deaf person without the use of their ears? How can anyone with any form of genetic condition, injury, impairment, or otherwise ever cope in society if they are just worse? Are we all imbeciles? Or just the mentally disabled? Should I just give up now before I even have a chance to try to adapt? DOES LEARNING NOT EXIST?

I've only been living alone for 5 months. 5 months. Do you seriously expect me to have all my shit together already? Are you kidding? Almost nobody from my generation has all their kit in order at 18. I may be worse than most, but that does not remove my ability to improve. Honestly, the fact that you are on a forum with so many ND people surprises me. ABDLs are much more commonly autistic than the general population, so why are you a member of a forum filled with imbeciles?

Quite frankly, your reply was ableist and unnecessarily rude. Stop trying to assume what I can and can't do. Stop trying to tell me that I can't have a regular life if I'm this RETARDED. Is that a word you'd use for me? I'm familiar enough with it. It refers someone who is mentally slow, so yeah, I suppose I am just an imbecile. Go ahead and disregard everything I ever say feel or do. It's not of importance anyway, considering I'm disabled.

 

[sbmccue]

I don't think the fault is yours. I think the fault is where you live ... in a third-world country that has successfully masqueraded as a first-world country for the past 70 years or so. The scarcity mentality and focus on limitation means nothing in the UK ever goes according to plan. While we certainly expect some deviation in the modern world, nothing can approach the odd British fascination with finding ways not to do something.

I well remember the day when I was expecting an important letter - a rather large cheque in the mail - and my mail carrier walked past my front door. She wrote 'blocked' on the letter and took it back to the post office. Her reason? My lawn guy was mowing my tiny vestige of a front yard.

I could go on and on. My point is that you're not at fault here. How you choose to cope with a system that continually lets down the side is the real issue, and I cannot help you there. I gave up and moved back where things made (past tense) sense.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

I do have lots of coping mechanisms that I use, however none of them have been working. The only one I have that never fails is just to play videogames because I just forget about everything else when I do. All the ones I normally would use to regulate my emotions and my mood and to calm me down at times like these just aren't effective enough for dealing with how I feel right now.

As for considering them as a medical need, I really don't know. I've only worn a few times in the past but can safely say that each time was tremendous for my mental and emotional help, that is up until I inevitably purge. But I don't have the money to buy as often as I would need in order to characterise them as a coping mechanism, and I doubt that I could get any VAT exemption or anything of the sort because I'm continent.
However, I will say that in a perfect world, if it were possible, yes I definitely would have a big stash of a variety of styles available at all times to help me cope. But we don't live in a perfect world.

Okay, hear me out. Appreciate that some comments have not given you the response you were looking for. It also underlines the seriousness of your issues, and the need to find new coping mechanisms. Right now you need to focus on solutions as much as you can.

From what you’ve posted here and elsewhere, you appear to be in a new environment at college, and I’m guessing that this is the first time you’ve lived by yourself. As such, what was working before this isn’t working.

Right now you need to focus on staying calm as you can. That may mean stepping away from the chat forums. I would suggest looking at mindfulness or yoga nidra meditations online - hopefully this will make you more calm and relaxed.

When you’re a bit calmer, you need to look at other neurodivergent coping mechanisms - Instagram or TikTok can be a helpful resource. If you can, try connecting with other neurodivergent people, and if possible, try meeting up with them in person. Even if you’re just sat over a soft drink and you’re texting each other instead of talking, it’s still helpful. However you do it, you need to reach out to other neurodiverse people - find out what works for them.

If you’re struggling with your studies, I would reach out to student support services for better ways to manage this. You will not be the first student who is neurodivergent and has needed help with this.

When managing your emotions, it can help you to visualise them as a pet or a fantasy creature, which you need to look after, as this helps make them less abstract. For me, I started seeing my emotional state as a pet dragon - when it was angry it was scary and fire breathing. But when I began to look after it, making sure it was well fed, rested, cared for when it was upset, comforted, this helped me practice some self-care, and the dragon became very content - a lot of the time it slept, and when it awoke, it was calm and just wanted to be hugged.

As for the diapers, if you have a medical diagnosis for autism and the diapers help you manage it, then I’d argue it’s a medical device to manage a medical condition, and it should qualify for VAT relief, as you’re buying them for your personal use, rather than for a business (say a care home). From a taxation perspective, that’s their main focus.

And if you feel the urge to purge - don’t. Just put them in a cupboard or under the bed out of sight, so you have them to hand when you need them.

Whatever you do, don’t go around thinking you’re broken and you can’t be fixed - this helps no-one, especially yourself. But you need to find new mechanisms that will work, but for now, just step away and take deep breaths. Everything will be easier to manage after you’ve given yourself permission to decompress and relax.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[FatalGeometry]

I don't think the fault is yours. I think the fault is where you live ... in a third-world country that has successfully masqueraded as a first-world country for the past 70 years or so. The scarcity mentality and focus on limitation means nothing in the UK ever goes according to plan. While we certainly expect some deviation in the modern world, nothing can approach the odd British fascination with finding ways not to do something.

I well remember the day when I was expecting an important letter - a rather large cheque in the mail - and my mail carrier walked past my front door. She wrote 'blocked' on the letter and took it back to the post office. Her reason? My lawn guy was mowing my tiny vestige of a front yard.

I could go on and on. My point is that you're not at fault here. How you choose to cope with a system that continually lets down the side is the real issue, and I cannot help you there. I gave up and moved back where things made (past tense) sense.

By exactly which metric is the UK a third world country? There are three main factors for a country to be considered "third world":
1. High poverty rate. The UK supposedly has 15% of its residents below the poverty line compared to 13% for the US. I wouldn't class that as high poverty.
2. Economic or political instability. Despite recent occurrences with Brexit, the pound is still a very stable and valuable currency, and I would think twice before suggesting our government is overly unstable *cough cough January 6th.
3. High mortality rates. Our life expectancy is over 3 years longer than the US.

So firstly... what on earth are you on about? The UK is not third world, and certainly hasn't been for a long time, potentially forever. Under Elizabeth I we had the world's most powerful navy, we were the most powerful empire in the world under George V, throughout WWII we were a major superpower who was deeply involved in peace treaties, we have nuclear bombs for heaven's sake. If you want to say that we're no longer a superpower I'll hear you out at the very least, but third world is an indefensible point because it's just not true and you know it.

I am patriotic to a fault. I dearly love my country and I dare say I'm more patriotic than American children do after their indoctrination by national anthem.

I'm disabled for crying out loud. I'm going to find some things more difficult than other people do. But as I mentioned replying to the other ass above you, LEARNING EXISTS. I can't do these things right now, but I am committed to learning how to do them. How does that mesh with your story of British lethargy? Ten years ago I would go entirely mute when forced to speak in front of a small group of my peers at school. Today I am more than happy to speak in front of a hundred of my fellow students, and I'm much more confident than most of them are. Do you know what that's called? IMPROVEMENT. I realised that I was bad at something, so I took matters into my own hands and focused on bettering myself.

Right now I am struggling because the difficulties I am currently facing are of the nature I have not seen before and thus I do not know how to deal with them, but I am actively seeking support to learn how to deal with them. If couldn't ride a bike you'd learn it. If you were a nervous driver you'd practice it. I struggle with being independent and completing day-to-day tasks so I try to get better at it. I soldier on through these tough times because I must. I made this vent post because I need to vocalise my frustrations in some way, otherwise I can't move past them. So you can take your hostility towards my country and stick it where the sun don't shine. You're wrong about the UK and you're wrong about me too. Good day sir.

 

[FatalGeometry]

Okay, hear me out. Appreciate that some comments have not given you the response you were looking for. It also underlines the seriousness of your issues, and the need to find new coping mechanisms. Right now you need to focus on solutions as much as you can.

From what you’ve posted here and elsewhere, you appear to be in a new environment at college, and I’m guessing that this is the first time you’ve lived by yourself. As such, what was working before this isn’t working.

Right now you need to focus on staying calm as you can. That may mean stepping away from the chat forums. I would suggest looking at mindfulness or yoga nidra meditations online - hopefully this will make you more calm and relaxed.

When you’re a bit calmer, you need to look at other neurodivergent coping mechanisms - Instagram or TikTok can be a helpful resource. If you can, try connecting with other neurodivergent people, and if possible, try meeting up with them in person. Even if you’re just sat over a soft drink and you’re texting each other instead of talking, it’s still helpful. However you do it, you need to reach out to other neurodiverse people - find out what works for them.

If you’re struggling with your studies, I would reach out to student support services for better ways to manage this. You will not be the first student who is neurodivergent and has needed help with this.

When managing your emotions, it can help you to visualise them as a pet or a fantasy creature, which you need to look after, as this helps make them less abstract. For me, I started seeing my emotional state as a pet dragon - when it was angry it was scary and fire breathing. But when I began to look after it, making sure it was well fed, rested, cared for when it was upset, comforted, this helped me practice some self-care, and the dragon became very content - a lot of the time it slept, and when it awoke, it was calm and just wanted to be hugged.

As for the diapers, if you have a medical diagnosis for autism and the diapers help you manage it, then I’d argue it’s a medical device to manage a medical condition, and it should qualify for VAT relief, as you’re buying them for your personal use, rather than for a business (say a care home). From a taxation perspective, that’s their main focus.

And if you feel the urge to purge - don’t. Just put them in a cupboard or under the bed out of sight, so you have them to hand when you need them.

Whatever you do, don’t go around thinking you’re broken and you can’t be fixed - this helps no-one, especially yourself. But you need to find new mechanisms that will work, but for now, just step away and take deep breaths. Everything will be easier to manage after you’ve given yourself permission to decompress and relax.

1. Meditations are bullshit. They do nothing.

2. Instagram Reels and TikTok are plagues on society. I'll do anything to keep away from short form video that is designed to addict rather than assist.

3. Finding out what helps for others isn't needed here. I know what helps me - diapers. I'm struggling because I don't have access to the resource I need to help myself because of some shipping screw-up.

4. Already have, thank you. It's just been a long road to get them to actually listen to me that the mentor support I was allocated through DSA to help me with these sorts of things was more trying to indoctrinate me into his religion than help me to cope (that's genuinely true. He found out that I'm a Christian apostate and spent the next hour trying to bring me back into Christianity).

5. I'm not eight. I don't need everything to be anthropomorphic. Emotions are a list of criteria that must be kept in check. Some activities raise some, some lower others. I choose what I do based on what will balance these requirements.

6. Trying to convince a doctor that wearing adult diapers helps me to control my autistic symptoms would never work. It's not a commonly chosen coping mechanism, therefore to the medical world it doesn't exist as one. I can order diapers online and tick the box that says I'm exempt from VAT but that shit is tax fraud. I don't wanna be the next Gary Barlow.

7. Purging is tough because in that moment the only thing I can think of is how much I need to get these diapers and ABDL items away from me, and it's very easy to do so. It just takes a minute or two before they're gone completely. I'll get better at resisting the purge over time, but for now I'll just buy small amounts so purging doesn't ruin my bank balance.

8. As I said to the other two, I'm trying to better myself and learn to deal with these things. I am damaged for now but the damage can be repaired, and I'll see to it that it is. I'm just looking for an outlet to express my frustrations and my struggles. All I ask for is either understanding or silence. If you're gonna be ableist, keep your mouth shut (not to you, to the others).

 

[sbmccue]

Okay ... you obviously don't want help; you just want to rant. I think most of us understand that.

My friend, whatever spirit people like Elizabeth I, George V and Winston Churchill possessed is d-e-a-d. 'Dead' means it no longer exists. The 'it's not up to me' mentality that pervades your society today is emblematic of that fact.

I'm thrilled that you're 'patriotic to a fault,' but I'm also correct when I tell you that there's a reason why the United States is the gold standard these days and Britain is not. Certainly, America has much to answer for - as someone who's great-grandmother was a Native American, I'm keenly aware of that fact - but we don't have the limitation or scarcity mentality that has effectively doomed the UK to endless mediocrity.

Your failed diaper delivery - the thing you're most stressed about at the moment, apparently - is just a symptom of the larger problem. Until young people like you decide to step up and work to produce change, you cannot legitimately expect a different result.

 

[VanHelsing]

Not thought about pull up training pants (terry or flannel) and plastic pants as standbys?
You can always add to them (boosters, towels, etc) to suit your sensory needs.

Sorry, I was not trying to be rude but ironically you are being just as judgemental about being people's ND state.

I can see where you are coming from, but NRU/DPD are not out to persecute you. As for the imberile part, I was actually referring to third party not you; you know the type the person who tries to run you over on a zebra crossing. Its not because they are being purposefully malicious just totally absorbed in themselves they did not see you. I too have been advised not to get angry over such situations as it is not personal.

Yes I have tried very hard and helped to get other ND people a decent job where they can truly feel their self worth.

 

[FatalGeometry]

Okay ... you obviously don't want help; you just want to rant. I think most of us understand that.

My friend, whatever spirit people like Elizabeth I, George V and Winston Churchill possessed is d-e-a-d. 'Dead' means it no longer exists. The 'it's not up to me' mentality that pervades your society today is emblematic of that fact.

I'm thrilled that you're 'patriotic to a fault,' but I'm also correct when I tell you that there's a reason why the United States is the gold standard these days and Britain is not. Certainly, America has much to answer for - as someone who's great-grandmother was a Native American, I'm keenly aware of that fact - but we don't have the limitation or scarcity mentality that has effectively doomed the UK to endless mediocrity.

Your failed diaper delivery - the thing you're most stressed about at the moment, apparently - is just a symptom of the larger problem. Until young people like you decide to step up and work to produce change, you cannot legitimately expect a different result.

Actually, I did want help. However your response to someone asking for help was to say that my country is shit and that everyone here is lazy. You implied that I should leave the UK for somewhere things make sense, implying that my country is backwards. That's not helpful. That's you telling me that for as long as I live in this country I will be continually forced down a path of submission and impotence. How is that meant to help me? How could that possibly help anyone?

The historical figures and periods I gave were examples of how the UK is not a third world country, and has not been "third world" for hundreds of years, not excuses for why people don't try anymore. You've also put me in the camp of people who don't try despite knowing very little about me. I try very hard in all aspects of my life. I always put in as much effort as I can to make sure that I succeed in what I set out to do.

In my original post, I wanted to vent about how I was frustrated by my order being delayed with absolutely no reasoning given to me, despite me having paid extra for next day delivery, then being denied a refund for the service they failed to deliver.

After venting, I wanted to ask for help and advice from people who know more about this community and might have ideas that I hadn't thought of. Instead I was told that I'm never going to be able to have a normal life with a house and a stable job because I'm mentally disabled, and that my country is to blame for it all and that I should move somewhere else. That's not help, that's ableism followed by a USA superiority complex.

Fortunately, the two horrifically rude and insensitive replies were not the only ones I got. I also got a good suggestion to go to the supermarket to buy (regardless as to whether I'm able to do that, it's an example of a person trying to help), another suggestion about considering diapers to be a medical need for me (something that I likely will look into in the future), and someone else suggesting that I purchase washable items that I can always have to hand if I need them (again, a great suggestion and one that I will look heavily into for the future. Unfortunately I missed that one however, because I was too busy being told that I'll never amount to anything).

Also, I never once questioned who was to blame for what happened. There's no point thinking about pointing fingers at people when what's happened has happened and it can't be changed.

TLDR: I was looking for help and advice, you just weren't willing to give me any.

 

[tango79]

I really wish I could help on the binge purge cycle. Most of us have had to deal with that. My last purge was when I was 23 and I told an un-approving girlfriend. I threw everything I had out to prove some stupid idea that she was more important. She wasn't and that didn't work. All I can counsel is brutal honesty with yourself and find some way to accept it. The next time you purge, a garbage bag in the back corner of the closet is almost as good as throwing things away.

On the medical front, if I understand it, the NHS will provide quality diapers to those who need them for incontinence. A lot of incontinence, especially nocturnal incontinence has no obvious physical cause. Just stating facts. What you do with them is not my business.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

1. Meditations are bullshit. They do nothing.

2. Instagram Reels and TikTok are plagues on society. I'll do anything to keep away from short form video that is designed to addict rather than assist.

3. Finding out what helps for others isn't needed here. I know what helps me - diapers. I'm struggling because I don't have access to the resource I need to help myself because of some shipping screw-up.

4. Already have, thank you. It's just been a long road to get them to actually listen to me that the mentor support I was allocated through DSA to help me with these sorts of things was more trying to indoctrinate me into his religion than help me to cope (that's genuinely true. He found out that I'm a Christian apostate and spent the next hour trying to bring me back into Christianity).

5. I'm not eight. I don't need everything to be anthropomorphic. Emotions are a list of criteria that must be kept in check. Some activities raise some, some lower others. I choose what I do based on what will balance these requirements.

6. Trying to convince a doctor that wearing adult diapers helps me to control my autistic symptoms would never work. It's not a commonly chosen coping mechanism, therefore to the medical world it doesn't exist as one. I can order diapers online and tick the box that says I'm exempt from VAT but that shit is tax fraud. I don't wanna be the next Gary Barlow.

7. Purging is tough because in that moment the only thing I can think of is how much I need to get these diapers and ABDL items away from me, and it's very easy to do so. It just takes a minute or two before they're gone completely. I'll get better at resisting the purge over time, but for now I'll just buy small amounts so purging doesn't ruin my bank balance.

8. As I said to the other two, I'm trying to better myself and learn to deal with these things. I am damaged for now but the damage can be repaired, and I'll see to it that it is. I'm just looking for an outlet to express my frustrations and my struggles. All I ask for is either understanding or silence. If you're gonna be ableist, keep your mouth shut (not to you, to the others).

I hope today is going better for you, and you are feeling calmer today. Sometimes we need to vent, as a way of releasing stress. But it can be exhausting.

It’s an irony of life that when we need help the most, that’s the hardest time to ask for it. This is true of anyone. And asking for help is not easy.

The practice, if you will, is to have various strategies in place which prevent you from reaching this state. We may not need to use them all the time, just when things start to get stressed, but not this bad. Although I appreciate it can swing from nothing to everything very quickly.

We are different people, so it’s natural for us that we may need different strategies in place. But I will say that not that long ago, I was a lot like you, trying to fit in and be ‘normal’ but it was very hard for me, and it caused me a lot of stress and anxiety.
It took me time to develop the tools I need to help balance my thoughts, and there are many out there. But I’ll give you three rules of thumb.

1. Don’t feel bad or ‘weak’ for having or needing coping mechanisms. Everyone has them, whether they realise it or not.

2. Focus on the result, rather than the process - as long as the strategy works, it’s valid and that’s great.

3. Don’t dismiss something unless you’ve tried it, and it didn’t work. If it didn’t, move onto the next one.

Right now, I’d go back to student services and ask if you can have another assistant - you can simply say it wasn’t working out and you don’t need to give details why.

And think again on what I said about tax relief - diapers are a medical device and you have a medical diagnosis of autism. And because you’re buying them for your personal use, it would qualify. You wouldn’t be committing tax fraud.

Now before you dismiss what I say again, think about this - what if your autism made you have a shy bladder? Or have anxiety about public toilets? Even if your urinary system worked well, but your autism was causing a mental barrier, it would still be a valid medical issue.

I am not saying you should wear diapers full-time. I am simply saying you should make things easier for yourself, rather than make things harder for yourself than you need to be.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[Woncrinklz]

I suppose I learned something from all this.
Call the company BEFORE opting to tik the same or next-day delivery option that requires more money with the "assurance" that it "CERTAINLY" will arrive " " to make sure they promise it can happen, or it's just a farce on their part to make more money as the buttheads they are (?).

I saw a lot of good ideas and suggestions here from everyone, actually. I didn't see insult until something weird happened and the reading got harsh, though it was clear respondents still tried to help.
I'm sorry it all dissolved into a taboo fight amongst y'all. (never bring up politics or religion at a cocktail party. I was told this growing up, though this clearly wasn't a social get together, but a thread query. Just clarifying).

I like @ade ('s) idea of coping with nothing by improvising when a stash is running dry or gone and one needs a diaper fix. I did that very thing last month.I used my plastic pants and a booster. I even had a pocket diaper and stuffed it silly. It was kinda fun.

I hope the shipment came, and was - or is accepted - with the same happy anticipation originally intended about it.

I noticed the binge/purge cycles are unresolved moods or frustrations. It's best to save them since they're pricey little things.

The closest I came to any type of diaper dumping was when I lost a lot of weight finally.
I donated my fun diapers at a recovery center. They liked the Northshore Tye-Dye ones (L). I then donated the other ones to a nearby apartment complex in the laundry room, which is now a traditional share spot around here for low-income dwellers. It's kinda fun because people get what they need without having to go through standard thrift stores and help sites. It's discreet, too. I actually started a good thing, because other people began donating their clothes, foods, etc., with each other there in thanks. Good spreads around, and it's one step closer to human kindness amongst strangers.

 

[sbmccue]

Actually, I did want help. However your response to someone asking for help was to say that my country is shit and that everyone here is lazy. You implied that I should leave the UK for somewhere things make sense, implying that my country is backwards. That's not helpful. That's you telling me that for as long as I live in this country I will be continually forced down a path of submission and impotence. How is that meant to help me? How could that possibly help anyone?

When I lived in London, I was told many times that we Americans work too hard. "Work 40 hours a week?" several people asked me. "I'd rather be dead." I don't think I called everyone there 'lazy,' but that's certainly the impression a lot of folks give. My point was that there's no customer service ethos, so you can't expect anything akin to customer service.

'Submission and impotence' is a pretty apt description, but it's yours ... not mine.

I've been back in the States for nearly two decades. Even now, however, when I'm told that a typically plentiful commodity is scarce or lacking or things just don't work for no apparent reason, I ask my SO, "Is this Britain?"

Cheers!