This is why I struggle with accepting ABDL

[Eclectic]

We made ABDL.

Come on man. The hubris in this statement is laughable. I've been researching and in contact with ABDLs for 35 years, before the internet, before people on here were born, and before the term "ABDL" was even used. It is widely known from numerous surveys that there are primarily sexual ABDLs and primarily non-sexual ABDLs with lots of overlap between the two. I would also argue that primarily sexual ABDLs or kinksters are more accepted in society today than they ever have been. However, that does not mean that one sub-group that is more accepted, visible and out spoken is the driver behind "making" ABDL.

There are likely a lot more primarily non-sexual ABDLs than people realize, including lots of women. And, they are buying a lot of the products available today online. However, due to the creep factor and the public's over-sexualized view of ABDL, they are largely in the closet and less inclined to attend munches and conventions or even have an online presence.

 

[MarshallfromPawPatrol]

Come on man. The hubris in this statement is laughable. I've been researching and in contact with ABDLs for 35 years, before the internet, before people on here were born, and before the term "ABDL" was even used. It is widely known from numerous surveys that there are primarily sexual ABDLs and primarily non-sexual ABDLs with lots of overlap between the two. I would also argue that primarily sexual ABDLs or kinksters are more accepted in society today than they ever have been. However, that does not mean that one sub-group that is more accepted, visible and out spoken is the driver behind "making" ABDL.

There are likely a lot more primarily non-sexual ABDLs than people realize, including lots of women. And, they are buying a lot of the products available today online. However, due to the creep factor and the public's over-sexualized view of ABDL, they are largely in the closet and less inclined to attend munches and conventions or even have an online presence.

Finaly someone who said this loud , non sexual abdl exist , im example , i don't have any sexual feelings about abdl , i like innocence which is associated with it

 

[Prillprillprill]

Without the kink community, there wouldn't be a broad range of ABDL diapers and pajamas available. Without the kink community, there wouldn't be online spaces for ABDLs (sexual or otherwise). Without the kink community, there would be no munches or conventions. So don't accuse us of "ruining" ABDL. We made ABDL.

It's not really an us and them type thing tho. Yes there are communities but essentially it is a private matter. A persons headspace I mean.

 

[Little2Roo]

Thank you Neophyte for starting this thread. I, too, am in the non-sexual ABDL camp. For me it is about innocence, cuteness, being sweet and little. I think ABDL diapers, PJs, and plushies are just adorably cute. It is not a sexual turn on for me, but something I feel deeply as my identity. By the way, I also write non-sexual ABDL and age regression fiction. Very hard to find that sort of writing. Nearly all of it is sex-fetish oriented. Like they always say of writers—write the kind of stories you wish you could have read when you were young.

Anyway, I’m totally on your side, Neophyte and the rest.

 

[buridan]

There are likely a lot more primarily non-sexual ABDLs than people realize, including lots of women....they are largely in the closet and less inclined to attend munches and conventions or even have an online presence.

Thanks for helping me prove my point. The people who have built community for ABDLs, both online and off, are mostly sexual ABDLs. All of them are comfortable with the idea of ABDL being a kink for many people, even if they don't regard their own ABDL-hood as a kink. Community builders understand that we're all in this together.

I know that there are a lot of non-sexual ABDLs. I think it would be good for non-sexual ABDL-hood to have more social acceptance. It is not okay to pursue that social acceptance by disparaging sexual ABDLs or the kink community, or by trying to push us out of social spaces we largely built.

Non-sexual ABDLs: Do your non-sexual thing! You're an important part of the ABDL community, and you deserve acceptance.
Anti-sex, anti-kink, anti-porn ABDLs: Go stand in the naughty corner! You need to learn how to get along better with others.

 

[CrazySmoker]

My conection into some baby stuff has a sexual component, but not only that component. I can understand that not is the same for all members of the club. But what I see very bad is living like a baby 24/7/365 and getting kink or fetish in public highly visible.

So I've a wish: Stop making orwellian "Antisex League."

 

[Babyfur]

All great comments thank you

Inherently diapers are a part of the picture when it is kinky time, they've taken the place of underwear and many of us know the ritual of undressing yourself and your partner. A woman wearing a fun diaper is attractive to me, yes. Would I incorporate it? Yes, as much as I incorporate her zipper when I tease with it etc... Not like it matters, I've never even met another ABDL!

Back to the news articles. When a city councilor, mayor, lawyer, parent, spouse, judge, principal, employer, teacher, police, friend, or colleague wants to understand ABDL they will more than likely stumble upon Wikipedia and will be left confused and concerned.

Paraphilic infantilism, also known as autonepiophilia,[1] psychosexual infantilism[2] and adult baby syndrome,[3] is a sexual fetish that involves role-playing a regression to an infant-like state. Diaper fetishism involves "diaper lovers" wearing diapers for sexual or erotic reasons

...the bulky feeling and crinkly noise associated with it, is enough to cause the fetishist a form of erotic pleasure or sexual arousal.

Paraphilic infantilism - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Sorry for ranting, I do appreciate everyone's support and positive feedback . It's hard on us when we have no one to talk to about this stuff.


It's a shame that a good store has been shutdown for the wrong reason!

I always really hated the three words “adult baby syndrome” cause in reality it isn’t even a real term it was made up for a TV show show a scene that some actor that played the doctor wrote down on his notes “adult baby syndrome” incurable. -.-

And I really do hates the term “paraphilic infantilism” because being an abdl isn’t sexual for me either that I do sometimes uses the term *Infantilism* in a hash tag times to time.

 

[OscarS]

ABDLs actually Divert away from Sexual Feelings towards children.

 

[Eclectic]

ABDL actually relieves people from their sexual feelings towards children

WTF? The only people who have sexual feelings towards children are pedophiles and ABDLs are the opposite of that. They ARE children, at least in their mind.

 

[Anemone]

ABDLs actually Divert away from Sexual Feelings towards children.

For some, this is probably the case. The majority of us do not hold sexual feelings towards children. Some of us are asexual in life or in terms of our relationship with ABDL.

To play the devil's advocate it is entirely possible that an interest in ABDL could lead a person towards profoundly inappropriate material and behaviour which they would not have previously countenanced, but it would be very difficult to assert causality in any individual instance.

WTF? The only people who have sexual feelings towards children are pedophiles and ABDLs are the opposite of that. They ARE children, at least in their mind.

DLs are very much not children in any capacity.

We are a broad church and there is not really any one thing which is true of all of us. I can immediately think of a member here who is not even interested in nappies, which is probably our most shared trait.

I do not believe it is a binary distinction, as nice as the thought may be, and we do ourselves a disservice as a community to become complacent to such elements as may be amongst us.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

It's a shame that a good store has been shutdown for the wrong reason!

The store was shut down to assuage the conscience of a de-facto theocracy under the guise of statutes & permits (bureaucracy).

 

[OscarS]

I have been a member for a few years and have been very involved. I love ABDL and for me it is a lifestyle.

Sometime I like sleeping comfortably with a paci, diaper, and footed PJs. I also have issues with using public washrooms, I cannot pee (use a urinal) around other men so I will sometimes wear a diaper (ABDL diaper).

I lead a very normal life, I have a great career, and enjoy time with my family etc...

NOTE: I am aware that there are a lot of ABDLs who are in this for sexual reasons only and I fully respect that, and there are some who are in this only for regression/therapeutic/comfort. It's two completely different worlds.

We need to stop sexualizing ABDL and giving the wrong impression, because as a father articles like these (below) scare the hell out of me and make me feel like a POS.

I wish that porn and kink would stop using the term ABDL, like I said I am involved and am well aware of the content that is out there. There is some amazing content such as TheBestLife, then there are some ABDL bloggers who post seemingly innocent content, then post videos of themselves messing a diaper while masterbating at the same time. Whyyyyyyyyyy.

Sorry to rant but this is getting ridiculous, Tykables already went through this issue with their city. It a gosh darn diaper and pajamas but the fundamentals are being ruined by the kink community. Sorry, I said it. It's killing me!

Australian Man With Diaper Fetish Gets Banned From Seeing His Children: Report

In an odd incident, a father from Australia has been banned from seeing his children because of his adult diaper fetish. Now, he has said that he felt he was being discriminated against because of his links to the "adult baby diaper lover community".

www.ndtv.com

My Inner Baby ordered to close its doors by City of Noblesville

The store sells adult diapers and adult children's clothing such as onesies. For that reason, the city feels it's a sex shop not a medical supply store.

www.wrtv.com

We need to get that fixed:https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-save-my-inner-baby-legal-fund

 

[OscarS]

The store was shut down to assuage the conscience of a de-facto theocracy under the guise of statutes & permits (bureaucracy).

Very outdated rules this fundraiser ought to allow them to Reopen:https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-save-my-inner-baby-legal-fund

 

[Eclectic]

The majority of us do not hold sexual feelings towards children

The majority of us!?? WTF are you people talking about? Are you not familiar with the broad spectrum that is ABDL and the many surveys from members of the community. The data indicates that the prevalence of pedophilia in ABDLs is likely much lower than the general population and it’s pretty fucking low in the general population.

Please stop making statements that are blatantly false.

 

[OscarS]

The majority of us!?? WTF are you people talking about? Are you not familiar with the broad spectrum that is ABDL and the many surveys from members of the community. The data indicates that the prevalence of pedophilia in ABDLs is likely much lower than the general population and it’s pretty fucking low in the general population.

Please stop making statements that are blatantly false.

A True statement would be that ABDL is NOT Pedophilia.

 

[Anemone]

The majority of us!?? WTF are you people talking about? Are you not familiar with the broad spectrum that is ABDL and the many surveys from members of the community. The data indicates that the prevalence of pedophilia in ABDLs is likely much lower than the general population and it’s pretty fucking low in the general population.

Lower or zero?

Please stop making statements that are blatantly false.

I'll have to start to stop, not sure why anyone would want that though. Care to explain your - on the face of it bizarre - request?

And, yes, I am being rather passive-aggressive. The above accusation has wounded me and I lack the emotional maturity to be assertive in response, so this is my fallback. Probably apologies due all around but an acknowledgement is the best I can manage in this moment.

Before we go back and forth over this it occurs to me that the cause might be a very small word which completely changes the sentence in contention:

The majority of us do not hold sexual feelings towards children.

I don't think either of us is proposing that an indecent interest in children is the majority position. I certainly am not and any assertion that I am would be a blatantly false statement and a strawman argument.

 

[Anemone]

A True statement would be that ABDL is NOT Pedophilia.

Another true statement would be that ABDL is not beetroot.

I could fill a book with true statements like these.

The problem with a simple statement like this is that it isn't particularly useful, all it says is that two different words are different.

True but lacking in the nuance which is the why and how they are different.

For another example:

Pepsi is not Coke.

Everyone will agree that this is a true statement.

Many of us, however, don't care because they are so similar that they are used in the same context for the same purpose.

Just saying that two things are different, even if correct and true, is not enough. At best it is easy to ignore as a tautology and at worst risks linking or reinforcing an existing link between the ideas.

To which ends please stop throwing the word around, it is not something that we want to show up on a Google search for.

 

[Drifter]

The reality is simply that there is no particular reason to believe that ABDLs have less of a chance to be pedophiles than the general population.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

The reality is simply that there is no particular reason to believe that ABDLs have less of a chance to be pedophiles than the general population.

Nah I'd say ABDLs are more aware of how precious innocence and childhood are than the masses of normie zombies out there who take children for granted. ABDLs are bound to be more melty hearted and protective of the real thing they idolize and relate to way more than your average unappreciative macho nitwit.

 

[bunny623]

Nah I'd say ABDLs are more aware of how precious innocence and childhood are than the masses of normie zombies out there who take children for granted. ABDLs are bound to be more melty hearted and protective of the real thing they idolize and relate to way more than your average unappreciative macho nitwit.

What about the people who sexualise it? It’s sort of sexualising material used for children (yes and people who cannot controle bladder ect) but I think they focuse more on it’s more common for baby’s to use them that’s why some people see it as leaning towards that behaviour