The consequence of everyone knowing you wear diapers

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Calico

Calico

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Yesterday I was in the kitchen having breakfast and my mom came in the kitchen and she said she smells poop and asked if I pooped my pants. I said no and I was so embarrassed. Thenn she apologized and said it was a logical thing to think of. I didn't poop my diaper but she smelled something stinky and thought it was me. If my daughter had been in the kitchen, she would have thought it was her and needed changed.

If everyone knows you wear diapers and someone does a stinky fart, everyone will think it's you. I sometimes worry that I am going to get blamed when something stinks and my mom thinking it's me. This gives me a good reason why my diapers are private and no one must know I wear them. Co workers, strangers, neighbors, other people who are not living with me. So I am posting this to tell you about the consequences about being out with this and having everyone know you wear them, you are more likely to get the blame if there is a poop smell or a piss smell unless there is a baby around. I do sometimes wonder if my mom believes me when I say it wasn't me but she still thinks I pooped my pants because I am the only diaper wearer around, excuse me, diaper user.

It reminds me when my son used to poop his pants (not diaper his underwear) and whenever he stinks like poo, I always think he pooped and check his pants and see he only farted. He still does skid marks and leaks stool sometimes but he doesn't like to be messy so I have no reason to think he pooped his pants or else he would be taking them off so I ask him instead of he farted and he says "yeah." But I can imagine if we were both in the room and he did a stinky fart, my mom thinks I pooped myself. My mom did make a comment yesterday about if my daughter and I were together, she would wonder which one of us has a stinky diaper but she would check my daughter first. I know she won't check mine.

Has this ever happened to anyone or do you ever worry you are going to get blamed for a smell?
 
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When I was young I was known for letting those silent stinky ones. That would clear the room at times.
If it was a loud one It was just noise.
 
Maxx said:
Get a dog. Almost anything can be blamed on the dog.
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I love this answer! I have three dogs and my big lab always makes terrible farts. If I ever did decide to go 24/7 and mess too, it would be easy to blame the smell on her.
 
The obvious goal here was to make you feel embarrassed. It's why your mom made the snide remark.

Hindsight being 20/20. My personal response would be to look her straight in the eye, drop my pants and look down the front of my diaper and then say "Nope! Not enough fiber I guess...". The goal here is to not make excuses for what you like or want, and punish those who would attempt to shame you for what you like and want. Trust me it'd be more embarrassing for her to see you in a diaper, than for you to smell ripe because you've got a steamer in the trunk.
 
Maxx said:
Get a dog. Almost anything can be blamed on the dog.
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Or get a dogboy. Damn it!
 
Since your mom is the one living with you now or at least visiting. what about asking her to keep questions like that to herself? I feel like pretty much every year since she's found out, you say your mom says something stupid if not mean about it. Your mom clearly doesn't get it and doesn't want to and you've lead a exceedingly normal and decent life to clearly demonstrate being AB/DL isn't a bad thing.
 
Do you live with your mother, or was she just visiting? It sounds like something pretty inappropriate for her to comment on. You should ask her to respect your privacy, your space, and your feelings - let her know how it makes you feel and not to bring it up anymore. Especially as crude a question as that, and in the kitchen where anyone could hear it.
 
It was just the two of us and we live together. I have gotten used to her comments.
 
Lorica said:
The obvious goal here was to make you feel embarrassed. It's why your mom made the snide remark.

Hindsight being 20/20. My personal response would be to look her straight in the eye, drop my pants and look down the front of my diaper and then say "Nope! Not enough fiber I guess...". The goal here is to not make excuses for what you like or want, and punish those who would attempt to shame you for what you like and want. Trust me it'd be more embarrassing for her to see you in a diaper, than for you to smell ripe because you've got a steamer in the trunk.
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That was pretty funny. I agree (but would probably never do it).
 
Calico said:
It was just the two of us and we live together. I have gotten used to her comments.
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Just because you are used to it, doesn't make it right. Put the shoe on the other foot, it's your mom. She's older than you, she will get old and infirm, she willone day need diapers herself. Do you think she'd appreciate those kinds of comments if she needed diapers? Especially coming from a family member?

Just because we're ABDL doesn't mean that we have to be doormats for other people's harassment.
 
Calico said:
It was just the two of us and we live together. I have gotten used to her comments.
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The point is, you shouldn't have to, dearheart.
Lorica said:
Just because you are used to it, doesn't make it right.
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From everything you've told us in other posts, that woman must be infuriating!
Fire2box said:
Your mom says something stupid if not mean about it. Your mom clearly doesn't get it and doesn't want to.
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Yeah, like, "Until you stop, you'll see a therapist," or, "Aren't you happy?"
Lorica said:
The obvious goal here was to make you feel embarrassed. It's why your mom made the snide remark.
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Keeping in mind the crude things she's done to you, I'm trying desperately to turn the other cheek as I advise you. The bible says to honor your mother & father, not to let them walk all over you. She's staying with you, correct? If this is then case, make sure she knows you love her, then remind her that you don't have to be disrespected in your own home, if she were anyone else, you wouldn't allow it, and she must stop, or stay elsewhere! You could try,
Lorica said:
. . . Hindsight being 20/20. My personal response would be to look her straight in the eye, drop my pants and look down the front of my diaper and then say "Nope! Not enough fiber I guess...". The goal here is to not make excuses for what you like or want, and punish those who would attempt to shame you for what you like and want. Trust me it'd be more embarrassing for her to see you in a diaper, than for you to smell ripe because you've got a steamer in the trunk.
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Lorica said:
Put the shoe on the other foot, it's your mom. She's older than you, she will get old and infirm, she will one day need diapers herself. Do you think she'd appreciate those kinds of comments if she needed diapers? Especially coming from a family member?

Just because we're ABDL doesn't mean that we have to be doormats for other people's harassment.
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What if your kids turn out AB &/or DL? Do they deserve her hatefulness? Trust me, non family is bad enough.

The worst bullies are the ones who supposedly love you, and the worst bullying is masked as joking.
 
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Lorica said:
Just because you are used to it, doesn't make it right. Put the shoe on the other foot, it's your mom. She's older than you, she will get old and infirm, she willone day need diapers herself. Do you think she'd appreciate those kinds of comments if she needed diapers? Especially coming from a family member?

Just because we're ABDL doesn't mean that we have to be doormats for other people's harassment.
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This is a pretty good point, although I don't think we can assume that everyone winds up needing diapers as they age.
 
My mom isn't some bully, she has come a long ways. She has given me pull ups before when they were given to her because they didn't fit and she got me footed sleepers for Christmas and she got me a large size to make room for my diapers so I feel comfortable in my new pajamas and she says sorry when she thinks she has embarrassed me. It's hard for me to believe she is still trying to embarrass me or shame me to quit when she had already told me before it's part of who I am and has given me that other stuff. All that shit she has said before was all in the past when she didn't accept it and had a hard time with it. I don't know if she still doesn't like it. It's not like I can kick her out because she owns the house too and is she leaves, my husband and I would end up leaving too because we wouldn't be able to afford living here anymore and I don't think my Dad makes enough to even afford this place either.

This is still an awkward topic between us because she has expressed her hate towards it and her disgust and how it makes her want to throw up and how she loathes it and making comments like "You're wearing a diaper, yuck" "Oh Beth." and the time she got mad at me for messing myself when I was sick and the time she thought I messed myself when we smelled cow manure while coming home from our day out so this part has destroyed this part of our relationship but this is supposed to be private anyway, not talked about. But sadly she would have to rely on the internet if she wants to read on this than asking me. I have a hard time being open about it due to the damage she has caused. She admits she doesn't understand it and said once if she went somewhere where everyone wore diapers, they might think she is strange for not wearing them and find it sick she holds it and uses the toilet. Actually someone had written a story here about it but I don't know if it's still on here or moved to the private section. I can remember all the stories being moved to a board and only authors could see their own when Moo changed the story policy here. I believe they were all under for review to see if they are still appropriate for this board.

Showing her my diaper just to teach her a lesson won't work because she has no problem seeing me in one but I still don't flaunt it. But it would be ironic if she needed them when she is old and it would be my turn to make comments about it, especially while changing her. It would be pay back. I think she has finally realized it's not going to go away and I am not going to quit. I've told her it's my lifestyle. She even offered to get rid of my panties once when we were organizing the garage and putting stuff in the charity pile and she saw my underwear and said "Do you want me to put these in the charity pile?" I had them all in a plastic bag a bedding came in and I used it to store my underwear in because I wasn't using them. She has gone back and forth to acting accepting and then to not liking it so it has been confusing for me.
 
nites said:
I love this answer! I have three dogs and my big lab always makes terrible farts. If I ever did decide to go 24/7 and mess too, it would be easy to blame the smell on her.
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or a CAT. omg... one of my cats.... she's the reigning champ of "silent, but deadly" in this house.
 
I'm sure it's tough for her to understand, and like anything that involves "coming out of the closet on" with parents, it takes lots of time for adjustment on their outlook after the acceptance stage. A lot of times it calls for a revision on their whole network of beliefs and thoughts that up to that point was just a predisposed set of judgments and generalizations in the back of their head, and that takes time. So it's good that she's made progress in that way in trying to understand. It's also good she didn't bring it up where your kids could hear it! But still .. if it makes you feel awkward or embarrassed I'd make it known to her. She might just not think much of the comment or even tried to be humorous. I'm the same way with my parents -- you can ask a few questions here and there about the topic to gain some understanding .. just don't dig too deep or go too far because it falls under the same category of things a parent never shares with their kid! :biggrin:
 
Yeah I get blamed at times as well it's kind of funny.thank God I don't get comments from my mom just friends who know I wear as they are the only ones that know I have oab. Sorry to hear about the comments that would embarrass me like crazy
 
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