heya
I’m Jacob. I’m 25 and have been into messing since childhood. I like messing in diapers and underwear. I’m not very experienced when it comes to sex, but messing isn’t the only thing that turns me on.
Recently, I’ve been doing it a lot more. As I moved into my own place, i’ve gotten the freedom to do it 2 or 3 times a week. I love the holding part, the desperation part, of course the messing part, the sitting on a hot load afterwards and lastly the “fun part” (am I allowed to go into details?) But then comes the cleanup. And the guilt. The shame. I start feeling incredibly dirty and the entire day is ruined after i’ve spent 30 minutes to an hour pleasing my brain with the satisfaction of pooping myself.
I’ve found myself isolating myself more, not wanting to go to the gym after i’ve messed myself because i just feel like a failure.
Even though i enjoy messing, i can’t deal with the rest of the feelings that comes afterwards. I need to stop doing this. Seeing a therapist isn’t an option for me.
I’ve tried to keep myself occupied, and I might have 4-5 good days, but then I feel the urge to go in my car on my way home from work, and i’ll mess myself in the parking lot of my apartment complex and there’s nothing better than the feeling of poop between my cheeks, but after i’m done enjoying myself, i literally feel like the biggest failure.
Any thoughts?
I’m Jacob. I’m 25 and have been into messing since childhood. I like messing in diapers and underwear. I’m not very experienced when it comes to sex, but messing isn’t the only thing that turns me on.
Recently, I’ve been doing it a lot more. As I moved into my own place, i’ve gotten the freedom to do it 2 or 3 times a week. I love the holding part, the desperation part, of course the messing part, the sitting on a hot load afterwards and lastly the “fun part” (am I allowed to go into details?) But then comes the cleanup. And the guilt. The shame. I start feeling incredibly dirty and the entire day is ruined after i’ve spent 30 minutes to an hour pleasing my brain with the satisfaction of pooping myself.
I’ve found myself isolating myself more, not wanting to go to the gym after i’ve messed myself because i just feel like a failure.
Even though i enjoy messing, i can’t deal with the rest of the feelings that comes afterwards. I need to stop doing this. Seeing a therapist isn’t an option for me.
I’ve tried to keep myself occupied, and I might have 4-5 good days, but then I feel the urge to go in my car on my way home from work, and i’ll mess myself in the parking lot of my apartment complex and there’s nothing better than the feeling of poop between my cheeks, but after i’m done enjoying myself, i literally feel like the biggest failure.
Any thoughts?