Just got caught… sort of

[Mrwhitechristmas]

My parents split when I was born but still lived in the same town, and I live at one rather than the other. I get stuff delivered to one house, but have the second address as a backup house for them to go to. Turns out ABUniverse used my second address despite me not adding it. Got a call on the way home from work from my mother, saying a package labeled “incontinence briefs” had been shipped to the house. Had a short discussion with her about it and she was very confused about it, but asked not to speak more of it. Don’t know what to do at this point. I managed to convince her I don’t use them (I do), but it’s still quite awkward. Just ignore it, or try to have a further discussion?

 

[wearforsafety]

Simply say that sometimes you need them. During night or when travel.

 

[LittleRascal]

My parents split when I was born but still lived in the same town, and I live at one rather than the other. I get stuff delivered to one house, but have the second address as a backup house for them to go to. Turns out ABUniverse used my second address despite me not adding it. Got a call on the way home from work from my mother, saying a package labeled “incontinence briefs” had been shipped to the house. Had a short discussion with her about it and she was very confused about it, but asked not to speak more of it. Don’t know what to do at this point. I managed to convince her I don’t use them (I do), but it’s still quite awkward. Just ignore it, or try to have a further discussion?

Firstly HUGE RED FLAG that they sent them to an address you didn’t input on the system (More odds of winning the lottery 3x in a row) then randomly delivering them to you via a different address out of random chance. Hold on just read again if you set it up as backup that’s on you and they probably tried delivering to the first option first.

So I’m going to assume you messed up the billing and the shipping address (much more likely) or whatever

Secondly honestly who cares? You wear diapers big wow I mean for goodness sake it’s not like you’re out shooting heroin it could be so much worse

Thirdly just tell her how you feel, that you wear for comfort it’s been going on for years (was over a decade before I was confronted) and that they offer you comfort and a sense of safety/security. Sure it might sound extremely stupid saying it but it will make it make sense and she won’t think you’re a creep. Swallow your pride and tell the truth as lying will only push you further back into being bitter and not yourself.

 

[Hemix]

I'd suggest thee to wait for her to make an hypothesis and, if it isn't something considered as bad (like thou hast them for wetting or pooping by purpose), just nod.

I think that, in this kind of situations, as long as thou dostn't talk about the topic, she won't question her own point. Besides, the simpler the explanation, the better, it will look less suspicious.

 

[LittleRascal]

I'd suggest thee to wait for her to make an hypothesis and, if it isn't something considered as bad (like thou hast them for wetting or pooping by purpose), just nod.

I think that, in this kind of situations, as long as thou dostn't talk about the topic, she won't question her own point. Besides, the simpler the explanation, the better, it will look less suspicious.

Lying about it just creates doubt it’s better to be upfront and honest about it for example lets say we use the bed wetting excuse she will be thinking “why hasn’t he mentioned it” “why haven’t I noticed it” it will create doubt and just lead to more questions than answers. It’s better to just be upfront and honest, take it from someone who has been in that situation.

 

[Hemix]

Lying about it just creates doubt it’s better to be upfront and honest about it for example lets say we use the bed wetting excuse she will be thinking “why hasn’t he mentioned it” “why haven’t I noticed it” it will create doubt and just lead to more questions than answers. It’s better to just be upfront and honest, take it from someone who has been in that situation.

I was talking according to an experience of mine, since my mom thought I have them to deal with my bottom parts sweating a lot (it's a half-truth, she knows it's a nuisance for me, she even suggested me to get cotton underwear).

I didn't want to give the topic more importance nor talk about it again. Nevertheless, she could possibly know I actually like them, so thou mightest be right

 

[LittleRascal]

I was talking according to an experience of mine, since my mom thought I have them to deal with my bottom parts sweating a lot (it's a half-truth, she knows it's a nuisance for me, she even suggested me to get cotton underwear).

I didn't want to give the topic more importance nor talk about it again. Nevertheless, she could possibly know I actually like them, so thou mightest be right

See she’s just left wondering and you’re left guessing it does neither party any good to not be honest about it.

 

[wearforsafety]

Firstly HUGE RED FLAG that they sent them to an address you didn’t input on the system (More odds of winning the lottery 3x in a row) then randomly delivering them to you via a different address out of random chance. Hold on just read again if you set it up as backup that’s on you and they probably tried delivering to the first option first.

So I’m going to assume you messed up the billing and the shipping address (much more likely) or whatever

Secondly honestly who cares? You wear diapers big wow I mean for goodness sake it’s not like you’re out shooting heroin it could be so much worse

Thirdly just tell her how you feel, that you wear for comfort it’s been going on for years (was over a decade before I was confronted) and that they offer you comfort and a sense of safety/security. Sure it might sound extremely stupid saying it but it will make it make sense and she won’t think you’re a creep. Swallow your pride and tell the truth as lying will only push you further back into being bitter and not yourself.

This!
You probably thicked a space where is asking is ashipping adress same as billing adress.

 

[Rob110]

If you wear 24/7 long enough eventually people find out that are close to you, im surprised it was labeled incontinence products if it was not an imported shipment as on the few orders Ive done with ABU or any one diaper wise have never had a description of the product just a part number. Sorry the cats out of the bag but it cane make it easier to deal with needing diapers if your family knows as after the initial discussion the topic rarely comes up and least for me its been over 9 years and all my family knows and my IC issue is on my permanent medical records . I needed a hearing test and my doctor actually put it on the referral form not sure why but not worried about it.

 

[Therin]

It sounds like the carrier has the secondary address and not ABU, and that the carrier delivered to that address for whatever reason. ABU's not doing background checks to find out prior/alternate addresses to mistakenly send orders to.

I agree with the others, stick to the truth. You don't have to tell the whole truth, just enough. "I need them" should be more than sufficient, and whether or not you use them is your business. If you get a "why do you need them?" you don't even have to lie about being incontinent. Just say that it's personal and you'd rather not talk about it. You can assure them that you're okay and that should be good enough. To me, defensively telling her "I don't use them" raises more eyebrows because then why are you getting them? Best of luck on managing the situation.

im surprised it was labeled incontinence products if it was not an imported shipment as on the few orders Ive done with ABU or any one diaper wise have never had a description of the product just a part number.

Same surprise here. Nothing I've gotten from ABU has been identifiable from the outside, so it's likely that she opened the box. Benefit of the doubt says she may have thought it was for her until she opened it and realized it wasn't.

 

[LittleRascal]

It sounds like the carrier has the secondary address and not ABU, and that the carrier delivered to that address for whatever reason. ABU's not doing background checks to find out prior/alternate addresses to mistakenly send orders to.

I agree with the others, stick to the truth. You don't have to tell the whole truth, just enough. "I need them" should be more than sufficient, and whether or not you use them is your business. If you get a "why do you need them?" you don't even have to lie about being incontinent. Just say that it's personal and you'd rather not talk about it. You can assure them that you're okay and that should be good enough. To me, defensively telling her "I don't use them" raises more eyebrows because then why are you getting them? Best of luck on managing the situation.


Same surprise here. Nothing I've gotten from ABU has been identifiable from the outside, so it's likely that she opened the box. Benefit of the doubt says she may have thought it was for her until she opened it and realized it wasn't.

She’s definitely opened the box and lied about it maybe resealing it? All the more reason for him to just be upfront and honest about it

I say this because when I order from abu I think the absolute worst on the box is a letter indicating the size for example M, L, XL so on M and L imo wouldn’t look sus
So she opened it purely out of curiosity which isn’t right in my opinion as it’s a huge breach of privacy.

 

[Nowididit]

I've ordered plenty from ABU and the box was never labeled incontinence briefs. Even the packing slip inside the box states diapers. I don't know where that would even come from.

 

[blaincorrous]

We can litigate the past, or we can focus on the future. It would be good to have clarity into how this happened to avoid it, but I want to do something to help @Mrwhitechristmas after their exposure.

Probably the most important thing for acceptance when exposed is to project resolved confidence that this simply IS and you’re sorry for the accidental exposure. In general, biological family doesn’t need to know, so in an accidental exposure, I’d probably tell them it’s not anything they need to relate to, you’re fine and healthy, and you and they don’t need to talk about the details again.

I hope you can call this thread to ABU’s attention. I’m sure they would want to know the factors that could cause a privacy breach.

Edit: You’re from NZ. Clearly this is a different supplier and shipper than we usually deal with in the US, so a lot here is just spitballing.

 

[Hemix]

See she’s just left wondering and you’re left guessing it does neither party any good to not be honest about it.

Actually, I don't care if she knows the real reason or not, I just want to chill alone, I'd have to tell her the whole truth if she started wondering

I don't like to expose all of my usual likes to others, not even to my parents.