Is late potty training becoming increasingly normalized?

[camdendl]

I think so.... there are a lot of factors that play into this. Kids who have special needs or a disability takes longer to train and they're getting too big for baby diapers, so parents request diaper companies to make a bigger size or that kid is not able to train at all so they're in diapers longer. There are parents who do potty train they're kids at all and end up waiting until their kids tells them they're ready to potty train. I've see kids who are physically and mentally ready for potty training, but their parent is not and keep them in diapers longer which negatively effects their child's development and self-esteem. Some Parents want to keep their kids little and not want to allow them to grow up. Some kids are physically above average in height and/or weight in age so they still at the age to need diapers and there out growing the typical sizes that toddlers wear.

 

[am1248]

I think so.... there are a lot of factors that play into this. Kids who have special needs or a disability takes longer to train and they're getting too big for baby diapers, so parents request diaper companies to make a bigger size or that kid is not able to train at all so they're in diapers longer. There are parents who do potty train they're kids at all and end up waiting until their kids tells them they're ready to potty train. I've see kids who are physically and mentally ready for potty training, but their parent is not and keep them in diapers longer which negatively effects their child's development and self-esteem. Some Parents want to keep their kids little and not want to allow them to grow up. Some kids are physically above average in height and/or weight in age so they still at the age to need diapers and there out growing the typical sizes that toddlers wear.

Some Parents want to keep their kids little and not want to allow them to grow up.

That in particular sounds like mental illness on the parents' part... correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

That in particular sounds like mental illness on the parents' part... correct me if I'm wrong.

Not a mental illness, but an emotional one. C.S. Lewis in his brilliant work The Four Loves described it as a malady to which the parental affection is prone. Their love needs to be needed, and can't bear to work itself out of a job, hence all manner of well-intended mischief. In most people this impulse is guided by reason and social pressure into more constructive directions, but there are always outliers.

C.S. Lewis's grasp of the diversity of loves and the many beauties they bring and maladies to which they are prone is positively brilliant, and I cannot recommend his Four Loves highly enough.

 

[Hell2DaNaw]

Disabilities in general are becoming more noticed more. But in addition to that, certain generations of parents seem to have their priorities changed in which children's happiness is prioritized before "Pride of the family" or something like that.

It’s great that more kids with disabilities are getting the resources they need, and im sure that played a part in the rollout of size 7 diapers. Goodnites even has a section on their website talking about how ADHD and ASD can affect kids wetting the bed.

To your second point, it does seem like we’re moving away from the children are seen but not heard mindset, but there does come a point where parents need to push their kids to grow. Even if it’s uncomfortable for the kid to leave diapers behind, it’s a necessary milestone that many seem to be pushing off.

 

[Hell2DaNaw]

I can probably say that the public education system (in the USA at least) really wouldn't be equipped to deal with people who aren't fully trained in 99% of cases.

Absolutely. Here in America our teachers are already way overworked and many parents expect them to be able to give 1-1 attention to all 30 kids.

Kindergarten is one grade where teachers need to be especially hands on and patient, so there’s no way you can throw multiple different levels of toilet readiness into the mix without education suffering.

 

[Hell2DaNaw]

That in particular sounds like mental illness on the parents' part... correct me if I'm wrong.

Yeah that’s definitely an extreme controlling behavior. Everyone matures at different rates, but purposefully not teaching your kids important life skills, just so you can continue doting on them or “keep your baby” is abusive. That poor kid is gonna get a rude wake up call when they start school and get mocked for being a baby.

 

[PCPilot]

Yeah I’ve read plenty of threads where users wish their parents hadn’t potty trained them til way later or allowed them to wear diapers. I get it.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. There's also a theme I've seen with folks whose toilet training did not progress at the pace the parents expected and that was a negative experience for the child - especially around night time continence which is essentially hormonal rather than behavioral.

There are two sides to every coin. We waited until around 3 with all of our children and it was relatively straightforward. I expect each child is different.

 

[PurpleScorpion]

I think we can all broadly agree that the 'average potty training age' going from 1 year (start of the 20th century) to 18 months (Dr. Spock's book), to the current 'somewhere between 2 and 3' age is fine and probably even good in the abstract?

 

[Hell2DaNaw]

I think we can all broadly agree that the 'average potty training age' going from 1 year (start of the 20th century) to 18 months (Dr. Spock's book), to the current 'somewhere between 2 and 3' age is fine and probably even good in the abstract?

Agreed. It seems that many users who are parents have confirmed that waiting til 2.5-3 seems to be the ideal time to potty train. I think once you get to 3.5 the kiddos start getting used to diapers and it becomes harder to potty train.

 

[Calico]

I remember seeing an article in a Time magazine about potty training wars. It was from the late 1990s and even back then parents were batting potty training with their kids to get them out of diapers. There have been several articles over the years about how toilet training is difficult now because the companies have made diapers too comfortable to wear and I read that cloth diaper babies are potty trained sooner because they feel wet and don't like that feeling. I remember reading an article online by a couple who decided to try depends and saw how comfortable diapers were and no wonder they couldn't get their kid to quit.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I remember seeing an article in a Time magazine about potty training wars. It was from the late 1990s and even back then parents were batting potty training with their kids to get them out of diapers. There have been several articles over the years about how toilet training is difficult now because the companies have made diapers too comfortable to wear and I read that cloth diaper babies are potty trained sooner because they feel wet and don't like that feeling. I remember reading an article online by a couple who decided to try depends and saw how comfortable diapers were and no wonder they couldn't get their kid to quit.

There are adult cloth diaper aficionados in this forum, though, and although I rarely use them, I don't mind them myself. Everyone is different, at all ages.

 

[BabyLink9]

I remember seeing an article in a Time magazine about potty training wars. It was from the late 1990s and even back then parents were batting potty training with their kids to get them out of diapers. There have been several articles over the years about how toilet training is difficult now because the companies have made diapers too comfortable to wear and I read that cloth diaper babies are potty trained sooner because they feel wet and don't like that feeling. I remember reading an article online by a couple who decided to try depends and saw how comfortable diapers were and no wonder they couldn't get their kid to quit.

That’s actually kinda of funny. Who would have thought this would be a core issue behind the whole thing. In a way, I think this just goes into the parent’s ball park to properly be attentive to their kid and check their diaper more often. Along with, you don’t want the diaper to be uncomfortable because then your child will just scream 24/7.

 

[PurpleScorpion]

Yeah I feel as if the "modern diapers are too comfy" talk obscures the fact that some kids are just more oblivious than others. Some dont feel the wetness, sure, but I've read about kids who ask for diaper changes once they get vocal, or scream bloody murder if they poop their diaper.

 

[foxkits]

There have been some posts of Hollywood stars story's of there older children still in diapers at an older age though we can't believe everything we read on the Internet.

 

[Hell2DaNaw]

I remember seeing an article in a Time magazine about potty training wars. It was from the late 1990s and even back then parents were batting potty training with their kids to get them out of diapers. There have been several articles over the years about how toilet training is difficult now because the companies have made diapers too comfortable to wear and I read that cloth diaper babies are potty trained sooner because they feel wet and don't like that feeling. I remember reading an article online by a couple who decided to try depends and saw how comfortable diapers were and no wonder they couldn't get their kid to quit.

I believe it. On one hand you had increasingly busy parents who naturally gravitated to the convenience of disposable diapers, and the simple fact that so many ABDLs prefer disposables, even when cloth diapers would be way cheaper, speaks to the comfort of them as well. Around that time I remember Dr Brazleton coming out and saying that parents should wait a little longer to potty train kids when they're more ready.

For that article about the couple, do you mean that two adults decided to try wearing depends and ended up loving them?

 

[Hell2DaNaw]

Yeah I feel as if the "modern diapers are too comfy" talk obscures the fact that some kids are just more oblivious than others. Some dont feel the wetness, sure, but I've read about kids who ask for diaper changes once they get vocal, or scream bloody murder if they poop their diaper.

Yeah there's no doubt kids who are totally fine sitting in a wet cloth diaper or wet clothes, but try peeing in your pants vs peeing in a diaper and there's a stark difference in sensations. Personally, even though I do enjoy an occasional pants wetting, it get cold and clammy real quick and the chaffing starts soon after.

 

[Hell2DaNaw]

There have been some posts of Hollywood stars story's of there older children still in diapers at an older age though we can't believe everything we read on the Internet.

I think it's just an extension of the issues other users have mentioned: wealthy, busy parents who opt for the convenience of disposables. Especially when you're surrounded by paparazzi, why risk lifelong humiliation for your kid. Imagine photos floating around of you having an accident even though you're just a kid.

Or if you're a child actor, production costs must be insane, so I'm sure many directors and producers would be pissed having to cut every 30 mins for a kid to pee or for them to ruin a scene by fidgeting in the background.

 

[LinkDL]

reading the previous comments I think we all agree that wearing diapers beyond the age of 2 is something that makes a bad parent a loser parent and that wearing diapers in a school is definitely inappropriate, the double standards of the ABDL community are interesting.

As I understand what the ABDL community is asking for is to create smaller diapers so that they can only be used up to 2 years old.

 

[foxkits]

No the norm was by 31/2 most were trained. The parents potty training books I have looked at over the years. In my time period Dr spock was the expert there's a chapter on potty training even delays also bed-wetters. I read a lot of those books trying to find why I was hooked on wearing diapers. The 60s was a different time for us children.
But I read over the years the child needed a period of being able to feel and developed enough to be wet or messy to understand that feeling.
Even Mr Rogers had a potty training book. Others have said the disposable diaper child doesn't feel wet and are not uncomfortable.
That's why they made pullups with a feel wet pad in them to help with the feeling when the child wet.

 

[Honeywell6180]

reading the previous comments I think we all agree that wearing diapers beyond the age of 2 is something that makes a bad parent a loser parent and that wearing diapers in a school is definitely inappropriate, the double standards of the ABDL community are interesting.

As I understand what the ABDL community is asking for is to create smaller diapers so that they can only be used up to 2 years old.

On the other hand, there are special needs young adults who have to wear the adult pull-ons, KC's Depend being among the most commonly worn. Some have cognitive issues, others have CP and other conditions such as ASD. I can assume that these issues among the youngest population are what drive companies to make larger-sized diapers such as Huggies 7 and Pampers Swaddlers 8. If you look at North Shore Care's site, they even mention special needs adults on their discription of Crinklz. I can be reasonably certain that caregivers are buying them in pretty good numbers.

We certainly can't label special needs parents as being bad ones. We all know they deal with the deck of cards handed to them. There are people out there who simply don't have the capabilities of taking care of themselves. In fact, I was told by one friend of mine that she manages adults who only function at age 18 months or less! Double standards indeed, LinkDL. You have one group who thinks that diapers are only for pleasure, yet there are real people who don't share those views. They have to buy them because they really have no other option.