First post. Looking for support to help cope with IC

[PadPhilosopher]

I’m going to order a pack of the tranquility to try again. I felt the last time I used them, I developed a very bad rash at the leg openings. I could be wrong though. I really don’t care for the abdl diapers but the comfort and lack of bad rash has me to continue to order them.

I’ll pack up the underwear tomorrow. If I don’t have the choice it’s impossible to keep the diapers off.

A positive note, survived my doc appt this morning. When it’s in regards to down below, I have a rough time. But they were very accommodating. They pur music on and I put a pillow over my face. The fact they did the exam and cleaned and changed me afterwards made me see their compassion which helped! Be careful driving home

Thank you for the kind wishes. I'm back now.

By the case from LL Medico Tranquility ATN is super cost effective, less than 1/3 the cost of AB diapers. The contour liners make a big difference. If you're not trying to go insanely long times between changes like I often do, the diaper alone will usually go 5-6 hours pretty easily. Hydration and oil will help with the leg rash. I don't think there's anything especially irritating about the material itself, but it can trap things there, and some oil helps it not to matter. The AB diapers are very good at holding insane amounts of urine--one user recently reported having worn one for 23 hours nonstop--but they're expensive, subtle as a freight train, and probably not necessary once you get a solid routine that includes skin care. Keep a few around for awhile, though, since you know you get good sleep in them.

I will pray for your packing. I know it will be hard for you. Doing the best thing is sometimes difficult, and this will be one of those cases.

I'm glad your doctor visit went well. I can understand why it would be a difficult one, but I'm glad they went the extra mile to make you as comfortable as possible. Most medical professionals really do care about their patients, and I'm glad that these do. I'm curious about their thoughts, but would understand if you didn't want to discuss them in public, or at all.

Rest well, and may God's perfect peace surround you.

 

[abdlbill004]

1 I hope it's not immediate family as they seem toxic
2 if you don't know when your going to have an accident you need to wear a diaper so just wear them and yes I'd wear them 24/7

3 did you see a Dr they can probably fix damage from an assault like that

I was assault by someone that I thought I was a friend when I was around 12 it lasted till I was 14 grooming and threats of ousting I I told .I had desires to wear diapers before but the trauma made it much worse and sexual fore me. I wear 24/7 for comfert and to stop the on off bing purge cycle my advice what ever your reason just wear them and if you truly need them wear them. Remember if you could plan or tell when an accident was coming you wouldn't need them.

 

[Iceice]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and wisdom. Love the last sentence.

I completely understand everyone has much bigger problems than something like this. Thanks for the reminder. I’m very blessed and I’m sure many have had a much tougher road than myself

I just wanted to add, I didn't mean to imply or insinuate that your problems are lesser to anyone else. It's about perspective. Your problem here is just as big as anyone else's problems. And that's completely valid and your allowed to feel the way you do, and fear your own
Problems on the same scale as any other person. To someone else they may not seem that bad. But thay doesn't change the impact that it has on your life, even though it might be much less impactful for someone else. It's entirely subjective. And they are only problems because it's one of your personal weaknesses or fears being a reality. Some people might be like, eh, w.e now I don't have to use the bathroom, and their transition to incontinence is like a walk in the park. But that hypothetical person, can't stand bugs. And they found one in their burger at wendies last night. It may take them years to recuperate, years of support and therapy. But they will get through it.

My point I'm trying to make, is your problems, are your problems, and they are big. Because they matter to you. They are valid and there's no reason to downplay that at all. Being able to recognize your problems in life and cope with them, however unique they are, will make you a stronger and more independent healthy and happy person in the future. Don't tell yourself it could be worse. Tell yourself it's already it's worst, and your strong enough to tackle this obstacle and become a better you.

So, I'm sorry if I made you think that this "isn't a big deal". It sucks, wholeheartedly. And I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I was moreso just trying to help you find another option to perceive the problem from, to give you a potential mental tool or resource to navigate how your going to cope.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

@PTSDSurvivor413 Good morning! I hope you got lots of great sleep, and work is going well. I will be praying for your challenges today, and also that you'll find joys along the way. Be strong in the Lord!

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

I just wanted to add, I didn't mean to imply or insinuate that your problems are lesser to anyone else. It's about perspective. Your problem here is just as big as anyone else's problems. And that's completely valid and your allowed to feel the way you do, and fear your own
Problems on the same scale as any other person. To someone else they may not seem that bad. But thay doesn't change the impact that it has on your life, even though it might be much less impactful for someone else. It's entirely subjective. And they are only problems because it's one of your personal weaknesses or fears being a reality. Some people might be like, eh, w.e now I don't have to use the bathroom, and their transition to incontinence is like a walk in the park. But that hypothetical person, can't stand bugs. And they found one in their burger at wendies last night. It may take them years to recuperate, years of support and therapy. But they will get through it.

My point I'm trying to make, is your problems, are your problems, and they are big. Because they matter to you. They are valid and there's no reason to downplay that at all. Being able to recognize your problems in life and cope with them, however unique they are, will make you a stronger and more independent healthy and happy person in the future. Don't tell yourself it could be worse. Tell yourself it's already it's worst, and your strong enough to tackle this obstacle and become a better you.

So, I'm sorry if I made you think that this "isn't a big deal". It sucks, wholeheartedly. And I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I was moreso just trying to help you find another option to perceive the problem from, to give you a potential mental tool or resource to navigate how your going to cope.

@Iceice thanks for clarifying I think when I read it I was in a touch spot emotionally. So I apologize for that. Right now, I’m very thankful I still have complete bowel control keep in touch

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

@PTSDSurvivor413 Good morning! I hope you got lots of great sleep, and work is going well. I will be praying for your challenges today, and also that you'll find joys along the way. Be strong in the Lord!

Hey! So I had a moment this morning. Had a nightmare involving a parent figure punishing me and embarrassing me for wearing diapers. Woke up this morning, got out of my wet one and into underwear. Just read your post a few moments ago. Realized I haven’t used the bathroom in 5 hours. Grabbed some water. No field appointments today. Trying to get myself back into one

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Hey! So I had a moment this morning. Had a nightmare involving a parent figure punishing me and embarrassing me for wearing diapers. Woke up this morning, got out of my wet one and into underwear. Just read your post a few moments ago. Realized I haven’t used the bathroom in 5 hours. Grabbed some water. No field appointments today. Trying to get myself back into one

I'm sorry. So sorry. Please don't let this derail you from doing what you know you need to do to care for yourself. What that person did to you was cruel and wicked, and they, not you, should feel shame. You have been injured, and are worthy of compassion, not judgment.

Go to the bathroom, let out whatever's there, then get diapered, relax, and start rehydrating. You need to do what's best for your body so you can keep healing. You've made such wonderful progress. Don't quit because of someone hurtful.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Hey! So I had a moment this morning. Had a nightmare involving a parent figure punishing me and embarrassing me for wearing diapers. Woke up this morning, got out of my wet one and into underwear. Just read your post a few moments ago. Realized I haven’t used the bathroom in 5 hours. Grabbed some water. No field appointments today. Trying to get myself back into one

And please, please pack up the undies immediately, and put them somewhere very inconvenient, so they're not such a temptation in moments of emotional pain. It will be difficult, but you need to do it. I'm praying for you.

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

@PadPhilosopher I tried to go, too clinched for anything to come out. Got diapered and sat back at my desk and relaxed. Sight urge feeling followed by full badder void. The two happened so quick I couldn’t even try to respond. Drinking the water now. Does this mean any body won’t use the toilet anymore? Or did my muscles lock up from the tension? I also had no urge to go when I tried either. Maybe the slight urge feeling is just the feeling of pee starting to come out?

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I tried to go, too clinched for anything to come out. Got diapered and sat back at my desk and relaxed. Sight urge feeling followed by full badder void. The two happened so quick I couldn’t even try to respond. Drinking the water now. Does this mean any body won’t use the toilet anymore? Or did my muscles lock up from the tension? I also had no urge to go when I tried either. Maybe the slight urge feeling is just the feeling of pee starting to come out?

It's too soon to know whether the experience you just had means you won't be able to use the toilet in the future, and one event is not a pattern. It definitely means that you have healing to do before you try again, and I think it's emotional rather than physical in this instance. It is very possible, even probable based on what you're telling me, that right now, having your intimate area uncovered for any reason causes a feeling of vulnerability to the point of causing tension sufficient to stop normal urination. This is not at all surprising, under your circumstances. I'm just very glad that you are able to void freely while wearing a diaper, because that will help your pelvic health, and if you couldn't void at all, it would be an emergency. You may be correct on the slight urge being just the feeling of actually starting to void; monitor your bladder with that thought in mind, but don't try to make it do anything right now. Just try to determine what it actually IS doing.

Wearing a diaper clearly gives you a feeling of safety that allows you to void as needed while you heal, and unlike drugs, has no side effects. Embrace the help that they are to you as your body and emotions heal, and when the cruelty that you've experienced as a result of needing to use diapers is brought back to mind, remind yourself that those who love you, including He Who loves you most, are glad that you're taking care of yourself.

 

[87dervaTheExplora]

It wasn't

Hey there!

I’ll try to be brief. Bedwetter on and off when I was young and then it would happen during high stress moments. Fast forward to a few years ago. I was jumped and sexually assaulted by two men outside of the hotel I was staying at for work. I was a virgin at the time because it was something I wanted to share with husband (if I ever got the chance). Sexually molested as a child, which makes sense for the bed wetting.

This is the struggle I have now. I get severe pain down below from the injuries. I also can barely tell when I need to use the restroom, the feeling is so fair and subtle I almost have to be thinking about it all the time. In times of flashbacks (from PTSD) I usually have an accident. Or during panic and anxiety attacks. I go back and forth between wearing diapers and not. I sleep much better at night if I wear a diaper to bed. I’m less stressed and anxious during the day when I wear a diaper during the day.

It’s just hard for me to be ok with wearing diapers for IC that’s situational. Also, it’s gotten to the point if I’m not padded up during the day I won’t drink liquids and I become dehydrated. I stay hydrated when I have a diaper on. And honestly I don’t focus on trying so hard to feel the urge then I just wet automatically in them without knowing half the time.

With all of this, I just feel embarrassed and ashamed I can’t figure it out. Or cannot be at peace with accepting maybe it’s time to just commit to 24/7 wearing and deal with the weird and horrible comments I get from family when I’m around them.

Anyways. That’s what is on my mind currently. Have a great night ya’ll!

Your daily

Thought: don't wish that, unless it's in the context of wishing for the whole problem to not exist, which we all wish. Tabbed diapers are better for so many reasons. They can be changed without completely undressing the lower half of your body, fit better, absorb better in most cases, which means they can be worn longer and changed less often, and as a result are by far the more practical option.

Marketing has worked hard to create an entirely artificial perception gap, but the reality is that you're using the best product for the need you have, and there's nothing helpful in wishing you could use a product that is inferior in so many ways.

First of all, none of this is your fault. There is no reason to be ashamed for something someone else caused you. I'm so sorry you have had to endure such experiences in your life.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I've prayed specifically for the challenges I imagine you're dealing with right now. May His peace that passeth understanding keep your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

I did just have a realization; I'm guessing you're about to have a birthday! I hope it is an occasion of joy, and not an occasion when toxic family members make your life more difficult.

On a more practical note, I was putting on my usual fresh Tranquility ATN this morning after a shower and oil, and realized why you probably had a challenge with a rash at the legs using them. They ran a cloth-like material that is used on the inside out to the edges of the leg opening, so rather than a plain piece of plastic touching your skin there, which won't draw in urine or sweat and hold it against the skin, this almost certainly does. It doesn't make them leaky, but I can easily see where it could cause a rash. It's an unusual design choice. I see why the oil makes such a difference with these. I still think they're an excellent choice, though, and worth another try, now that you're about to start using oil.

One clarification about that: I said 1 part jojoba to 3 or 4 of the other. Let me explain the rationale there a little better. Jojoba oil is a fabulous conditioner and protectant, but it's also very expensive, plus thick and difficult to spread into the light coating that is all that's needed. Almond oil is very light and spreadable, plus itself an excellent conditioner, and relatively cheap, so for almond oil I will go 1 jojoba to 4 almond. If you're using grapeseed, it's not as good as almond on its own, but it's very cheap, being essentially a waste product of the wine industry, so I'll go 1 jojoba to 3 grapeseed.

I hope something here helps you.

 

[abdlbill004]

1 I hope it's not immediate family as they seem toxic
2 if you don't know when your going to have an accident you need to wear a diaper so just wear them and yes I'd wear them 24/7

3 did you see a Dr they can probably fix damage from an assault like that

I was assault by someone that I thought I was a friend when I was around 12 it lasted till I was 14 grooming and threats of ousting I I told .I had desires to wear diapers before but the trauma made it much worse and sexual fore me. I wear 24/7 for comfert and to stop the on off bing purge cycle my advice what ever your reason just wear them and if you truly need them wear them. Remember if you could plan or tell when an accident was coming you wouldn't need them.

You PTSD is know to cause infantilism that's why I wear and use diapers

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

You PTSD is know to cause infantilism that's why I wear and use diapers

I’m so sorry to hear you have experienced trauma. My thoughts and prayers go out to you! That is so incredibly hard to have that happen at such a young age. I hope you have found this community to be as supportive as they have to me.

1. Incidents that started at 5 and went till 13(when my period started) was family related
2. I’m trying to wear them. There is some trauma associated with/around “diapers” so it’s been pretty hard.
3. I’ve been to a urologist, urogyno, obgyn, neurologist and PT for pelvic floor. Also psych. The consensus is as of now: anxiety and panic related. When fight or flight kicks in, there is a reaction and increase urine output with an involuntary loss of urine. Nerves are an issue as in the surrounding area it is numb/loss of feeling. Pelvic floor is so tight it can’t properly relax (I get infections in V every few months). Built up scar tissue.

They have prescribed multiple meds. However, with some meds I’m on for PTSD, it would make certain side effects worse.

Internal PT for the area, I’ve tried 3 times now (it’s invasive) first time I had a flashback and had to be put out. 2nd time, it started and the PT couldn’t even remove her fingers because I locked up. Spiraled emotionally afterwards. 3rd time, as she approached I had a panic attack, peed all over myself and threw up.

Hope that helps explain everything. FYI, I’m not married, never been in a relationship, so the assault a few years ago is the only feeling I’ve experienced down there is a sexual manner

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

I've prayed specifically for the challenges I imagine you're dealing with right now. May His peace that passeth understanding keep your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

I did just have a realization; I'm guessing you're about to have a birthday! I hope it is an occasion of joy, and not an occasion when toxic family members make your life more difficult.

On a more practical note, I was putting on my usual fresh Tranquility ATN this morning after a shower and oil, and realized why you probably had a challenge with a rash at the legs using them. They ran a cloth-like material that is used on the inside out to the edges of the leg opening, so rather than a plain piece of plastic touching your skin there, which won't draw in urine or sweat and hold it against the skin, this almost certainly does. It doesn't make them leaky, but I can easily see where it could cause a rash. It's an unusual design choice. I see why the oil makes such a difference with these. I still think they're an excellent choice, though, and worth another try, now that you're about to start using oil.

One clarification about that: I said 1 part jojoba to 3 or 4 of the other. Let me explain the rationale there a little better. Jojoba oil is a fabulous conditioner and protectant, but it's also very expensive, plus thick and difficult to spread into the light coating that is all that's needed. Almond oil is very light and spreadable, plus itself an excellent conditioner, and relatively cheap, so for almond oil I will go 1 jojoba to 4 almond. If you're using grapeseed, it's not as good as almond on its own, but it's very cheap, being essentially a waste product of the wine industry, so I'll go 1 jojoba to 3 grapeseed.

I hope something here helps you.

Still diapered. Drinking water. Went for a run. Can’t wait to use the oils. Thanks for the additional information. I planning on packing away the underwear tonight/maybe throw it away(I need new anyways). I read a weird article lol and I can’t seem to find it again but it said when at home, don’t allow yourself to cover the diaper. Meaning, tshirt/tops only. It’s supposed to get you more used to the idea through visual exposure. So after reading your message and getting a diaper on. I’m just wearing a sweatshirt. Not sure if it will work, but I’m willing to try anything to help ease my mind.

My other lingering thought is I’m still thinking worse case scenario. Like what if this is a point of no return, or the muscles get too weak to hold in fecal matter. Gosh. So annoying

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Still diapered. Drinking water. Went for a run. Can’t wait to use the oils. Thanks for the additional information. I planning on packing away the underwear tonight/maybe throw it away(I need new anyways). I read a weird article lol and I can’t seem to find it again but it said when at home, don’t allow yourself to cover the diaper. Meaning, tshirt/tops only. It’s supposed to get you more used to the idea through visual exposure. So after reading your message and getting a diaper on. I’m just wearing a sweatshirt. Not sure if it will work, but I’m willing to try anything to help ease my mind.

My other lingering thought is I’m still thinking worse case scenario. Like what if this is a point of no return, or the muscles get too weak to hold in fecal matter. Gosh. So annoying

I'm so glad you're still doing self care. Keep it up! If you're thinking of throwing away the underwear, that will definitely reduce temptation! Just make sure it's gone gone in a swift irreversible action.

I'm not sure that the shirt and diaper only is a good idea in this case; I think it will only serve to rub your nose in something that feels uncomfortable, and I think that may make things harder. Plus, there's always the chance of a startle from an unexpected visit. I think it would be better to just dress as you always have except for the diaper, and allow the continuation of normalcy to normalize the perception of the diaper.

It's too early to know your odds on your bladder. You have healing to do, and observations to make, before any guesses on that will be even educated guesses. It is within the realm of possibility that your bladder will not regain proper function, and your need for diapers will never leave. If that's the case, it has nothing to do with your current self care, and everything to do with the neurological damage you've already sustained from your injuries. It is unlikely, though possible, that you may experience issues with fecal continence at some point, as some of the muscles and nerves are connected, but many people experience lifelong urinary incontinence and never have any fecal issues. The fact that your bladder issues are due to an injury as opposed to a degenerative condition, and your bowels have not been affected over the last three years, suggests that your bowel function will likely never be affected.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I’m so sorry to hear you have experienced trauma. My thoughts and prayers go out to you! That is so incredibly hard to have that happen at such a young age. I hope you have found this community to be as supportive as they have to me.

1. Incidents that started at 5 and went till 13(when my period started) was family related
2. I’m trying to wear them. There is some trauma associated with/around “diapers” so it’s been pretty hard.
3. I’ve been to a urologist, urogyno, obgyn, neurologist and PT for pelvic floor. Also psych. The consensus is as of now: anxiety and panic related. When fight or flight kicks in, there is a reaction and increase urine output with an involuntary loss of urine. Nerves are an issue as in the surrounding area it is numb/loss of feeling. Pelvic floor is so tight it can’t properly relax (I get infections in V every few months). Built up scar tissue.

They have prescribed multiple meds. However, with some meds I’m on for PTSD, it would make certain side effects worse.

Internal PT for the area, I’ve tried 3 times now (it’s invasive) first time I had a flashback and had to be put out. 2nd time, it started and the PT couldn’t even remove her fingers because I locked up. Spiraled emotionally afterwards. 3rd time, as she approached I had a panic attack, peed all over myself and threw up.

Hope that helps explain everything. FYI, I’m not married, never been in a relationship, so the assault a few years ago is the only feeling I’ve experienced down there is a sexual manner

You've confirmed a lot of things I inferred from other things you've said. I'm so sorry you had to have these horrific experiences. I agree with the consensus, to a point, but I think there is more to it than just anxiety and panic. I think there's nerve damage, too, but the biggest thing to address right now is the emotional damage. I fail to see any benefit to any sort of PT. You can physically hold it, and you can relax and let it go, only not with the normal signals and controls. Wear diapers and monitor your bladder's behavior, and focus on feeling whole again emotionally. Once you get to the point where your intimate area can be uncovered without causing a fear response, it will be a game changer. Get to that point before you worry about anything else.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

It's too soon to know whether the experience you just had means you won't be able to use the toilet in the future, and one event is not a pattern. It definitely means that you have healing to do before you try again, and I think it's emotional rather than physical in this instance. It is very possible, even probable based on what you're telling me, that right now, having your intimate area uncovered for any reason causes a feeling of vulnerability to the point of causing tension sufficient to stop normal urination. This is not at all surprising, under your circumstances. I'm just very glad that you are able to void freely while wearing a diaper, because that will help your pelvic health, and if you couldn't void at all, it would be an emergency. You may be correct on the slight urge being just the feeling of actually starting to void; monitor your bladder with that thought in mind, but don't try to make it do anything right now. Just try to determine what it actually IS doing.

Wearing a diaper clearly gives you a feeling of safety that allows you to void as needed while you heal, and unlike drugs, has no side effects. Embrace the help that they are to you as your body and emotions heal, and when the cruelty that you've experienced as a result of needing to use diapers is brought back to mind, remind yourself that those who love you, including He Who loves you most, are glad that you're taking care of yourself.

@PTSDSurvivor413 Did you see this response? You didn't react to it, but I didn't want you to miss it. My most recent responses build on it.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I took a moment to stop and intercede for you and a few other hurting women who I've been upholding in prayer, as they are also presently experiencing times of immense difficulty. I lamented to God that I wished I had His power to alleviate suffering, but then acknowledged that I don't have the Wisdom to apply it, as He does, and I'd probably overapply it and interfere with things He needed to accomplish through the difficulties. I then said, "You don't pull the cocoon off the butterfly." I was immediately struck by the meaning of what I'd just said; God knows what He's doing by allowing the sufferings in our life, and will make of us a more beautiful and usable person than we otherwise could have been. If we knew the end from the beginning, as He does, and what He was going to accomplish through our suffering, we'd see the Wisdom that allowed it, and agree that it was for the better.

I'm asking God to uphold you in this time of struggle. He has a Plan, and a Purpose to make beauty from our ashes, and holds our hand the whole way through the fiery trials. Rest in His Love.

 

[Diaperman95]

@Iceice thanks for clarifying I think when I read it I was in a touch spot emotionally. So I apologize for that now, I’m very thankful I still have complete bowel control keep in touch

That is o be very thankful. Outside of being in my teens when my bladder started failing and knowing how the stigma was then even worse. Plus the products today are soooo... much better. But I did adapt pretty fast and having the mental status of what would anyone else do if them is how I got through. But developing Fecal IC in my early 40s I found it much harder to deal with. But I am getting use to it and life goes on. We cant live life in the restroom. This group of people here really help to empower me too. Even though I have been dealing with mine longer than many members here have been alive I still have days I just want to cry too. I find that is okay and it is normal to say why me some days. But not every day and with each passing day the bad days get further apart. The biggest help will be to find the product that works best for you. the thickness of a diaper means nothing. Having a proper fit and finding a diaper or pull up that wick the urine away from the top sheet. A proper diaper your skin should not feel wet unless the diaper is soaked. If your skin is wet after peeing once or twice then try a different brand. I found price matters. Often a thicker diaper that cost a lot more will save you money in changes. If you are using any diaper and you feel wet all the time than it is time for a change. It can lead to rash and bad UTI's. But it is just a matter of finding the right product that you feel secure in and know for certain unless you neglect it that it will not leak. For me it is mega max hands down that is best but I have others I sometimes use. I got a really good deal on some total dry X plus. like 96 of them for $133. I use to use them all the time as my go too. I find I use about 1 a day more than the Mega max sometimes 2 but they still offer great protection even for heavy users. They are much slimmer fitting too.

I prefer plastic back and I prefer diapers that have the landing strip and heavy duty tapes. they do not stretch and loosen no matter how active I am. several brands offer them.

these are on sale right now plus they offer 20 0r 30% off for new customers. They are not good about returning emails and I did not even get a email saying they shipped. But they came in. I have not used this brand in years but I am pretty happy with. MIght be worth trying a bag. I knew I liked them in the past so I purchased two cases. But I never buy in bulk unless I have used the diaper before.

Real world incontinence on you tube has some great diaper reviews of products they test. I would check them out too. Let me know how you like the north shore and seni samples.

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