Admiring Serenity in those that are dual or fecal Incontinent

[EcoIncon]

It's a beautiful fall day. The leaves are mostly turned and many are falling to the ground. The trail through the woods I normally run is carpeted and the leaves crunch underfoot. The weather is sunny and the temperature in the 50s. I am out for a lunchtime run and really enjoying the day. Until... At about 3 miles, the pains in my gut come on incredibly strong and fast. I reflect that I've always been so careful to manage my bowels. I followed my routine flawlessly today... Though I recall that yesterday, I ate white pasta... I knew this was a bad idea when I did it, but I love pasta. Now I am aware that I'm going to pay in a way that many of you understand all too well.

I've been urine incontinent for decades. I've had a few fecal episodes over time because of the muscular and nerve damage but I am so fortunate that they are vanishingly rare. All of this runs through my mind as I realize I'm a mile and a half from any toilet and I notice that there are just enough people around and the undergrowth is gone such that I can't just squat in the woods. I continue to run... I've got nothing to lose but my inner peace and tranquility are gone. About a quarter mile later, it happens. I'm shamed, I'm uncomfortable, miserable. I don't like this feeling. Between the wetness and now the messiness, my skin almost immediately starts to itch, chafe and burn. After walking for a bit doesn't make it any better, I decide to run for a while and then walk again because I'm too miserable.

While walking in shame and misery about a half mile from my house, my mind shifts again. I think of all of you on this board that deal with this frequently. I think about how you keep going and you manage it. I wanted you all to know that I admire you and I honor your struggles. I think of how lucky I am that I don't deal with this every day, how lucky I am to "only" be urinary incontinent. Finally, I'm thankful that yesterday I ran out of the pads I often run with and that I happened to run today in a diaper with leak guards. Nothing finds its way to my shorts.

Thanks to all on this board who support each other.

 

[Tinytoes]

Bless you, Ecolncon.

 

[Zeke]

I know how fortunate I am not to have the pain many who are fecal incontinent have to deal with. It also strikes me how much more accepted IC is now than when I was a teenager over a half century ago. Ubiquitous TV ads for products that are in many different types of stores combined with the medical profession’s education of the public and their own people has made IC much less confining for those that experience it than it was years ago. But this greater acceptance doesn’t make dealing well it any easier, especially for the younger people who suffer from it. I only became fully IC a little over six years ago at age sixty so not only was it somewhat more expected, at my age, but I also don’t expect to be living with it for nearly as long as some younger folks will. Though I’ve said this before I believe it bears repeating. Attitude can make dealing with an issue, or a person, a miserable experience or many degrees more pleasant depending on how I regard it. It took me several months to decide that an attitude improvement would be necessary if I didn’t want to be unhappy for my remaining years and now I’ve come to the point of embracing, even enjoying my diapers which definitely beats dreading dealing with them. I hope that you find a way to successfully deal with your condition and don’t let yourself be ashamed for circumstances beyond your control.

 

[georgianchants131]

Thankfully I always have BM's mostly in early morning. I do have nighttime and daytime accidents but not daily. You talked about struggles? I'd prefer not to focus on some of my worst accidents. Even those having in public. Horrific. Each BM that I experience while awake, I feel nothing until maybe 30 seconds. Increasing urgency grows with intensity and eventually I land ground zero.

The only accidents in the morning that I can only call as serene are when I'm still in bed. I'm usually completely relaxed. No rushing to clean myself and jumping in the shower. I don't have to hold back with the urgency. When I'm up and starting the day there is some kind of anxiety and trying to get things moving. Instead I just lay back and let it come. It's like I don't have to do anything. There's no desperation.Only blissfully relief.

Obviously I need to get up eventually. But that first hour as I start to awaken, I like to breath softly and deeply. Surprisingly, I often meditate and listen to the daily Georgian Chant. I don't know why but those moments in the morning, I really feel the serenity.

 

[mechanicX]

Phew!

 

[jdinvirginia]

Thank you for those very kind and understanding words. We never should feel shame for a medical condition that is not our fault and over which we have no control. For example, I am not ashamed of my arthritis. Of course, my bladder and bowel incontinence are very personal and private matters that I do not advertise.

--John
(double incontinent)

 

[jessraven]

Yes this room is so supportive and I’m sending you hugs with your struggle. It can be scary and humiliating...and it’s possible to have a “normal” life...it does help to have a partner who accepts it. I’m still learning to accept accidents and wetness and smells, etc etc....but I’ve gotten to be more calm about it in recent years. I don’t mess all the time but my pee problems are bad and I still dirty myself enough where it is inconvenient and embarrassing, it is a journey. Eventually you learn ways to make it fit into your life.
love and health

jess