ABDL and being a parent

[Cottontail]

I have two kids: one high-schooler, one college undergrad. I've never gotten ABDL vibes from either of them, and as far as I'm aware, they don't know about my little side. That's no accident of course; I've done my best to keep it from them. If I had a medical need for diapers, I'd have discussed it with them long ago. (But maybe after potty training!) As it is though, my wearing diapers, using pacifiers, ... It wouldn't help anybody for them to know. I think they're old enough now that they'd keep it to themselves, but I'm sure they'd still be thoroughly weirded out.

I fortunately have no difficulty indulging anymore. I work from home while everybody else commutes to work and school. It's obviously not ideal, combining work and little-time, but it's become an essential part of how I operate. The closest call I've had as a parent was when my oldest went looking for something to wear and opened up the dryer when it was full of my cloth diapers. Fortunately, being the traditional pin-on sort, I don't think they even registered as diapers. (Wife and I actually cloth-diapered our kids, but we used only the newer, fitted types.) Still, my heart was pounding for a few minutes!

 

[Skunkdude]

My daughter was pissing in her room when she was 6 and 7 and I thought maybe she was wetting the bed and hiding it, I checked her sheets and n yellow spots. I checked her mattress and no urine stain. Her blankets reeked of urine and her clothes and I never felt so mad in my life. It was disgusting. She even had urine soaked towels in there with dried up urine because it reeked of piss and her panties. I asked her if she was having a medical issue because she is peeing in her room. She denied it and I told her I can smell pee on her stuff, if she continues peeing in her room I am taking her to a doctor because I would gate to punish her for something she has no control over. She claimed she didn't want to get in trouble for leaving her room to use the potty. I told her she can but I do not want her stalling and trying to stay out of bed and it's not like she will have to go every hour or even ten minutes. I think the whole fear of using the potty thing was an excuse because no way can a kid go a lot like 12 times in one evening unless there is a medical issue like an OAB or UTI.

Meanwhile my mom didn't want to be in her room because it reeked of urine and I had her windows open and her bedroom door and she was so humiliated. I told her it needed to air out so her room isn't smelling of pee and maybe she should stop pissing in her room then since this is so embarrassing for her. My mom told her if she had friends over, they would all see she pees in her room because it smells like urine. This was the last time she ever did this. I guess this situation was humiliating enough for her. I even kept her closet door open for it to air out and blew fans in there.

She also tried to use her brother as an excuse and I told her he has a medical issue and she does not.

If this is a genuine situation, the first thing to fix would be the parents. Parents' unconditional love should motivate them to wash all the blankets and clothes that have been urinated on without complaining or becoming angry. Opening the windows and humiliation does not fix any problem.

She did it in her room, not on the sofa or in the neighbor's yard, which strongly indicates a personal secret. Kids have personal secrets, and they need to be able to work through them on their own if that is what they want. Without directly confronting your daughter, it would be okay to put an opened package of good quality diapers of her size or bed pads somewhere in the house or garage where she could discover them independently. If she uses them, ensure she has a private and secure way to dispose of or clean them.

Everybody on this forum knows what it feels like to have secret desires, even if they differ for each person. The thing to remember is that children (and even adults) are blossoming personalities. Like flowers, there can be occasional unusual variations. Learn to enjoy the variety and not enforce your idea of conformity.

 

[Calico]

Opening the windows and humiliation does not fix any problem.

How else am I to air it out and get rid of the urine smell?

Feelings don't become my concern when there is a situation needing to be resolved and I can't just leave a room reeking of urine because her feelings were more important. Imagine not breaking up with someone because you are more concerned about how they will feel or a teacher not giving a kid a B because she didn't want to hurt their ego.

 

[LePew]

How else am I to air it out and get rid of the urine smell?

Feelings don't become my concern when there is a situation needing to be resolved and I can't just leave a room reeking of urine because her feelings were more important. Imagine not breaking up with someone because you are more concerned about how they will feel or a teacher not giving a kid a B because she didn't want to hurt their ego.

Wiow, what a piece of work that is.
Here I thought I wasn’t a very empathetic person but you’ve really put that into perspective.

 

[Subtlerustle]

This topic has weighed on me heavily as we are expecting our first child in April. I have some incontinence issues so the diapers aren’t such a big deal at least not the white medical ones. That being said I do have some little items and I do like to attend events from time to time. I feel guilty about the thought of attending events once I am a father but at the same time my wife is supportive of me attending events so long as it’s is not a frequent occurrence, I am honest with her about what goes on at said events, and our future child/children do not learn of them. My wife does not like to participate in the abdl stuff which is why she has been okay with me attending event like munches and capcon.

Congratulations on your expansion! You sound like a balanced person for even just thinking about being a good father and your child’s wellbeing. Your wife is a gem as well. She recognizes the importance of this to you and gives you the space for participation. I’d say you’re in a great spot. Buckle up and enjoy parenthood. No need to worry about you diapered side.

 

[goodniteswearer89]

Keep your Abdl life separate from your life as a parent and only do it when the kids aren’t there. That is what I do. My girlfriend has 2 kids and anytime I know her and the kids are going to be gone for a while I will go and buy a small pack of goodnites. I have suspected one of her kids at one time of wanting to wear diapers cause I remember at least one time one of them mentioned something about wanting to wear diapers and they would pee there pants on occasion for fun but they have outgrown that now and haven’t mentioned anything about that now that they are getting older.

 

[Newbaby110521]

If it is genetic that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re to blame. Do we blame a parent who unwittingly passes on a medical condition to a child (like my dad did to me)? No for two reasons firstly he didn’t know and secondly genetic traits are totally random and (currently) mostly out of our hands. Back to the video thing when you’re that young things are funny that aren’t when you’re an adult like poop, underwear, farts, snot and urine we (well most of us!) grow out of this but at that age it’s just the way we think.

 

[Joeysms]

This topic has weighed on me heavily as we are expecting our first child in April. I have some incontinence issues so the diapers aren’t such a big deal at least not the white medical ones. That being said I do have some little items and I do like to attend events from time to time. I feel guilty about the thought of attending events once I am a father but at the same time my wife is supportive of me attending events so long as it’s is not a frequent occurrence, I am honest with her about what goes on at said events, and our future child/children do not learn of them. My wife does not like to participate in the abdl stuff which is why she has been okay with me attending event like munches and capcon.

parents are a child's primary role model, for children learn from their parents and develop certain behaviors/actions/traits from what they are brought up around. however in the end they become their own person finding their path in life with guidance from those they trust. just be one of those people your child trusts. I am IC my daughter grew up with her dad in diapers fully aware of that fact and it was perfectly normal. she was educated on what IC is and how it affected her dad but didn't change things between us we have a very close relationship. I also have a very strong ab/little side to me which she is aware of but not in terms of ABDL but that her dad tends to be a big kid at heart. My daughter does not have a strong AB/little side and she is not part of the ABDL community for she would share that with me if she was. She embraces her much more serious side, but that could be due to the fact that at this point in her life she is focused on her career and education. who knows where she will go as things change. she does mirror much of both me and her mothers traits in the things she does (finances, social, travel, choices she makes). she has a heathy relationship (partner), enjoys the company of her friends along with a wide range of activities, and a good career. There is no drug and alcohol abuse, and she has never committed a crime, so as far as i am concerned we did not do such a bad job raising her. she looks to us for advice and recently let me know that she admires the fact that i live my life the way that makes me happy and i don't care what people think.
you can be a good parent and still embrace your ABDL side and be active in the ABDL community and not feel guilty. it is important to have that support from your wife and family. never be ashamed or embarrassed by who you are, for if you act as though you are ashamed and embarrassed that is how you will be perceived. it is okay to be unique and outside the box we all are just sadly people think they all have to mirror one another to fit in. just always keep open communications with your kids and keep in mind you don't always have to agree. be an active parent/person your children's lives it is the best you can do. the internet and outside world will bring the crazy to them help them navigate it. best of luck with your first child try not to judge yourself hard.

 

[blueberry]

parents are a child's primary role model, for children learn from their parents and develop certain behaviors/actions/traits from what they are brought up around. however in the end they become their own person finding their path in life with guidance from those they trust. just be one of those people your child trusts. I am IC my daughter grew up with her dad in diapers fully aware of that fact and it was perfectly normal. she was educated on what IC is and how it affected her dad but didn't change things between us we have a very close relationship. I also have a very strong ab/little side to me which she is aware of but not in terms of ABDL but that her dad tends to be a big kid at heart. My daughter does not have a strong AB/little side and she is not part of the ABDL community for she would share that with me if she was. She embraces her much more serious side, but that could be due to the fact that at this point in her life she is focused on her career and education. who knows where she will go as things change. she does mirror much of both me and her mothers traits in the things she does (finances, social, travel, choices she makes). she has a heathy relationship (partner), enjoys the company of her friends along with a wide range of activities, and a good career. There is no drug and alcohol abuse, and she has never committed a crime, so as far as i am concerned we did not do such a bad job raising her. she looks to us for advice and recently let me know that she admires the fact that i live my life the way that makes me happy and i don't care what people think.
you can be a good parent and still embrace your ABDL side and be active in the ABDL community and not feel guilty. it is important to have that support from your wife and family. never be ashamed or embarrassed by who you are, for if you act as though you are ashamed and embarrassed that is how you will be perceived. it is okay to be unique and outside the box we all are just sadly people think they all have to mirror one another to fit in. just always keep open communications with your kids and keep in mind you don't always have to agree. be an active parent/person your children's lives it is the best you can do. the internet and outside world will bring the crazy to them help them navigate it. best of luck with your first child try not to judge yourself hard.

Thank you for the very sound advice and words of encouragement

 

[PaKo66]

As a father, I try to keep my ABDL interests completely away from my children. There are no diapers / ABDL accessories in the house, the subject is not brought up and obviously they don't have access to my digital stuff. I feel it was hard enough for me to grow up with this interest. From a scientific point of view, it's all genetic though.

Have you ever had suspicions that (one of) your children might develop similar ABDL interests? I found "poopy diaper" in the YouTube video search history of my nine year old and was shocked. Didn't talk about it, though. YouTube lead him to this? Did he have an inherited interest? Ever discussed ABDL with your kids?

This video may have been offered to your child by an algorithm based on the IP address shared by your household.

 

[Joeysms]

Thank you for the very sound advice and words of encouragement

you are most welcome.

 

[James1234]

I make sure my kids are not bedwetters past the age of 5, I don't want them to experience what I had, and of course I keep my ABDL side and stuff away from them