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yea true but let's not overgeneraliseAdair37 said:Yes. But most AB's are men.
yea true but let's not overgeneraliseAdair37 said:Yes. But most AB's are men.
The OP firstly needs to take care of hisself before he can take care of anyone else. If he is unhappy it will eventually reflect on all that he does. So the answer to your question is: yes.Adair37 said:What about his children? Is he better off without them too?
That’s a combination of autocorrect and me pressing my screen fast. I’m pretty sure you understood what it was supposed to say.Adair37 said:If she really lived?
Well from what you say the children are better off without him.mayhem said:The OP firstly needs to take care of hisself before he can take care of anyone else. If he is unhappy it will eventually reflect on all that he does. So the answer to your question is: yes.
You were very foolish to not discuss this before you married her and had kids.Seth17 said:Sooooo I got caught by my wife who hates diapers and she is demanding that I see psychiatrist for my “mental illness”. She says something is seriously mentally wrong with me. She can’t understand why a grown man wants to wear diapers. She said she is disgusted and repulsed by it. She said she loves me but if I can’t stop then she will leave me. It’s a hard sport because we have two small children together and just bought a new house. So if I go see a psychiatrist what will happen. I’ve never been to one. Will it help me out of make it worse. At this point I’m lost at what to do. I truly wish I could stop wanting to wear and move on. I keep telling my self I can then I start thinking about all the time I have failed at it and gave in. But at the same time I was a complete idiot of not bringing this up before we got married. I was young and dumb. And she reminds me of that because she says she didn’t sign up for this. Sorry about the rant but I just need to know what to expect from a psychiatrist. Thanks y’all.
Adair37 said:Well from what you say the children are better off without him.
Maybe his wife will find a man who takes fatherhood more seriously.
I'll add that having just recently allowed myself to explore ABDL eventhough I knew something was there around the age about 12. I could just have easily gotten married and had kids. Then one day a life event comes along and all of a sudden your in diapers cuz it makes you feel better. I wonder how common this scenario is.ArchtopK said:When I see these things happen to people it makes me wonder about the wedding vows. You know, "for better or worse", that one.
So when she says, "I didn't sign up for this", well, you most certainly did.
100% this ^^LainIsLain said:I'll add that having just recently allowed myself to explore ABDL eventhough I knew something was there around the age about 12. I could just have easily gotten married and had kids. Then one day a life event comes along and all of a sudden your in diapers cuz it makes you feel better. I wonder how common this scenario is.
Spot on. If a spouse tells you have a mental illness then threatens to leave you unless you get fixed how does that reconcile with the “sickness and in health” vow?FridgeMagnetFish said:Jeez give the guy a break.
From previous posts it suggests they were quite young when they got married, he told her 10 years ago, and she’s put him through mental torture ever since by the sound of it. She most likely knew about his interests when they decided to have a family, and now she’s tying to convince him he has a mental illness, gaslighting much? Are we just going to gloss over that?
Firstly, don’t panic. This will work out for the best one way or another. None of us wants to get caught having to explain ourselves unprepared. I’m sure you love your kids and that they love you too. Marriage has ups and downs and doesn’t always work out. It’s a waste of energy to debate whether you should have told her before marriage. Does every couple list all their sexual likes and dislikes before marriage in case the other party finds something unpleasant - of course not. ABDL doesn’t define all of who you are. Marriage is based on way more than this and itself is a highly imperfect thing. And you haven’t been unfaithful or assaulted anyone, or done anything illegal. I have friends who have been addicted to drugs or alcohol who didn’t tell their partners before marriage and ABDL is way less serious than those. Hell I didn’t even know what gender I was when I got married but I got married for love. And I’ve never told my wife and I am very confident that she doesn’t, and wouldn’t want, to know. Bear in mind that your wife may have her own unspoken reasons for wanting a separation and might love an excuse to blame you.Seth17 said:Sooooo I got caught by my wife who hates diapers and she is demanding that I see psychiatrist for my “mental illness”. She says something is seriously mentally wrong with me. She can’t understand why a grown man wants to wear diapers. She said she is disgusted and repulsed by it. She said she loves me but if I can’t stop then she will leave me. It’s a hard sport because we have two small children together and just bought a new house. So if I go see a psychiatrist what will happen. I’ve never been to one. Will it help me out of make it worse. At this point I’m lost at what to do. I truly wish I could stop wanting to wear and move on. I keep telling my self I can then I start thinking about all the time I have failed at it and gave in. But at the same time I was a complete idiot of not bringing this up before we got married. I was young and dumb. And she reminds me of that because she says she didn’t sign up for this. Sorry about the rant but I just need to know what to expect from a psychiatrist. Thanks y’all.
As I've said many times in other threads, many women have a very pragmatic view of diapers. Childhood and adolescence have conditioned them to believe that diapers are only for infants and small children, and the notion of an otherwise healthy adult wearing diapers is something of an affront. In the OP's particular case, the notion of him wearing diapers without a medical necessity is apparently a major affront. We can try all we like, but changing that decades-old conditioning is probably impossible.Mal8 said:If your wife truly loves you she will accept this part of you even if she doesn’t want to participate. If she doesn’t accept it then she is already lost to you and you will be happier finding someone else in the long run. For those of us still in the closet and coping, I see no need to rock the boat by outing ourselves especially when providing a safe, stable and loving home for our children is the main priority.
I agree with you but I may not have been clear, the safe stable home I refer to may equally mean separation. All good parents want a safe and stable home for their children. It doesn’t mean the often dysfunctional institution of marriage has to continue for that to be the case. There is no circumstance in which I would use marriage vows as an argument to stop my spouse leaving if they weren’t happy.sbmccue said:Providing a safe, stable and loving home for the children is the main priority, but the OP might begin to think about what happens if wifey doesn't want that.
You’re trolling again. You know there are plenty of people here who are married but didn’t tell their partners, and many of them have perfectly good reasons. And now you’re throwing this absolutist garbage around to get reactions. I respectfully suggest you knock that shit off.Adair37 said:But OF COURSE the man should tell his wife before the marriage. If he hasn't then it's despicable of him.
I was 71 years old and we had been married 33 years when I discovered diapers and how much I enjoy wearing them. I was 74 when I discovered how much I enjoyed wearing lingerie. Not everything is hidden from the outset. Some things trigger something in us and the results are often unexpected. Thank God my wife loves me unconditionally. Although she doesn't support it all, she does accept it all and has never said anything bad about what I wear.LainIsLain said:I'll add that having just recently allowed myself to explore ABDL even though I knew something was there around the age about 12. I could just have easily gotten married and had kids. Then one day a life event comes along and all of a sudden your in diapers cuz it makes you feel better. I wonder how common this scenario is.
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