Wife wants me to see a Psychiatrists?

Abdlchriscrinkle

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I hate to say it, but divorce is probably healthier. Being with someone who doesn't accept you for who you are is terrible for you in the long term.

I completely agree with this, as I lived this exact situation for many years!
Divorce was way better than self loathing and denial mixed with suppressing who you really are.
I've lived it, and it's definitely not worth it whatsoever. Kids or not, they will adapt.
Unfortunately based on my experience and others here, I think you know that she will never let you be you.
Do yourself and your health a favor and separate from her. She obviously doesn't love you for who you really are. No compromise from her end.
Seems like many people these days are more concerned about appearing as ''the perfect couple'' than rather putting in the actual work of a marriage and acceptance, unconditional love...

I know what I'm saying is harsh, and my opinion is strong, but let's stop kidding ourselves, we all know how these situations will end up when there's ultimatums and demands to see psychiatrists involved.

And there's my rant. Lol

Good luck to you, OP.
 

TexasToast11

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Don't go, it's not worth it. When I got kai my adult baby that lives with me full-time, my brothers and parents couldn't understand why. So my parents made me go see a shrink and I explain to her why I am doing this. Short story Kai is still living with me and I just don't care about what ppl think about me. There is a bonus, it keeps my parents out of my house which is great..
 

Atticus1088

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As I've said many times in other threads, many women have a very pragmatic view of diapers. Childhood and adolescence have conditioned them to believe that diapers are only for infants and small children, and the notion of an otherwise healthy adult wearing diapers is something of an affront. In the OP's particular case, the notion of him wearing diapers without a medical necessity is apparently a major affront. We can try all we like, but changing that decades-old conditioning is probably impossible.

The idea that a truly loving spouse has to accept her diaper-attracted mate is just plain wrong. She doesn't have to do anything of the sort. Since the OP hid his diaper predilection from her for some time before confessing, she would probably say she didn't sign on for this sort of thing. There's no 'love requirement' in wedding vows or in marriage that applies here ... this is tantamount to having your spouse tell you he or she is going to change genders, then reminding you that you promised to love, honor and cherish.

The road to psychotherapy is paved with good intentions, and - for ABs, anyway - it seldom ends well. My guess is that the OP's wife will refuse to accompany him, saying that the diapers are a problem that is exclusively his. Even if she did go, the odds are very good that the professional will side with her or that she will refuse to accept the professional's guidance that her husband's interest in diapers is harmless recreation.

Providing a safe, stable and loving home for the children is the main priority, but the OP might begin to think about what happens if wifey doesn't want that. She wants a normal relationship, apparently believes those still exist and won't accept anything else. In the final analysis, there's no 'safe haven' for the OP at home, which is a genuinely awful situation to find oneself in.
Well said.
 

WetDiapers247

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I agree with Sbmccue and SecretBabyBoy. Truly sorry you're having to deal with this, OP. Anything we can do to support ya, you know where to find us....
 
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bambinod

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... my brothers and parents couldn't understand why. So my parents made me go see a shrink

That really does grind my gears to see parents have this "I don't agree with a choice they've made, there MUST be something wrong with them that I need to fix" attitude. Parents should be required to attend those sessions, on the not-so-unlikely chance that the parent is the one that needs "fixing".
 

daniell

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There are plenty other people out there who would accept you for who you are. I wouldn’t worry too much about how it plays out. Sometimes some things happen for the best. I know it is hard now but there are always solutions. Take care.
 

lilshelly

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I will say this. Yes I was one of the ones that came out to my husband before we got married so he knew.
I don't care that a person says THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR. Uhmmm, yeah you did if the vows mean anything they state for better or worse richer or poorer in sickness and in health. Like someone else said it is not a matter of being sick that is not the case. It is a fetish and impulse control is key.
My now husband is okay with me wearing. He sees the benefits of it for me. That being said there are some things I will not do. I will not ask him to change me. I wear almost 24-7 but I will not wear to bed especially when he is around.
 

xtrabulk

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Lol, take that appointment, and fast. Your psych will tell you (and your wife) all is well with you--it's her who needs some work. Speaking from multiple experiences. Go now--going is your solution, not a problem.
 

Abdlchriscrinkle

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I don't care that a person says THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR. Uhmmm, yeah you did if the vows mean anything they state for better or worse richer or poorer in sickness and in health.

Perfectly stated. And I obviously agree.
A LOT of people now don't know what unconditional love is. They claim to love someone until something comes along that they don't like, and then it's all ''I'll leave you if you don't stop doing that''...

THAT'S NOT LOVE.



Ugh. I catch myself getting so angry for all of the people that go thru this shit situation with their spouse, mostly because I've been on the shit end of this exact thing. I invested everything in my relationship with her, and was a great husband that never did anything to compromise my relationship, but when it came time to be fully honest with the person that supposedly loved me no matter what, she turned into this little evil heartbreaker that said some of the cruelest things I've ever been told by anyone. It still hurts, especially after she cornered me into suppressing my abdl side for years!

It still baffles me that this happens all the time in real life, everywhere. Whether it's diapers or anything else that surfaces after a relationship evolves, I hear of couples divorcing very messily over something that shouldn't have had that result.
It's maddening.

Sorry guys. This thread hits stupidly close to home for me.
Still trying to heal from it.
 
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Moonshot

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I have been in a similar situation and did tell my wife before we were married. "We'll see" turned into "No way!"

There were other deeper issues that were hidden in the marriage and not by me either. Addiction issues caused much bigger problems both emotionally and financially during our time together. Yet it was my AB/DL side that was the big issue for me because I had to suppress it and it was throw in my face when it could be used as a weapon. Yes, we tried counselling. No, it did not help. It would usually end when issues came to the surface that were suppose to stay "secret". We did try more times than once.

Over the last few years I often wondered how I had stayed in my marriage. Oh, yeah, "For better or worse....until death do we part." The last two years were the most hurtful. It was possible to do but it may not have been worth it for my own mental well-being and heart. Cue the Meatloaf song...

My advice to you is to play it by ear. Counselling could be of use and it may be something you need to do together. In the end you need to decide yourself what you are willing to accept in life. If things do not work out (and as long as you do not get badly smeared in divorce court) you can always be in your children's lives. It can be hard and difficult to decide what is the right thing for you to do.
 
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