I hate to say it, but divorce is probably healthier. Being with someone who doesn't accept you for who you are is terrible for you in the long term.
Well said.As I've said many times in other threads, many women have a very pragmatic view of diapers. Childhood and adolescence have conditioned them to believe that diapers are only for infants and small children, and the notion of an otherwise healthy adult wearing diapers is something of an affront. In the OP's particular case, the notion of him wearing diapers without a medical necessity is apparently a major affront. We can try all we like, but changing that decades-old conditioning is probably impossible.
The idea that a truly loving spouse has to accept her diaper-attracted mate is just plain wrong. She doesn't have to do anything of the sort. Since the OP hid his diaper predilection from her for some time before confessing, she would probably say she didn't sign on for this sort of thing. There's no 'love requirement' in wedding vows or in marriage that applies here ... this is tantamount to having your spouse tell you he or she is going to change genders, then reminding you that you promised to love, honor and cherish.
The road to psychotherapy is paved with good intentions, and - for ABs, anyway - it seldom ends well. My guess is that the OP's wife will refuse to accompany him, saying that the diapers are a problem that is exclusively his. Even if she did go, the odds are very good that the professional will side with her or that she will refuse to accept the professional's guidance that her husband's interest in diapers is harmless recreation.
Providing a safe, stable and loving home for the children is the main priority, but the OP might begin to think about what happens if wifey doesn't want that. She wants a normal relationship, apparently believes those still exist and won't accept anything else. In the final analysis, there's no 'safe haven' for the OP at home, which is a genuinely awful situation to find oneself in.
... my brothers and parents couldn't understand why. So my parents made me go see a shrink
I don't care that a person says THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR. Uhmmm, yeah you did if the vows mean anything they state for better or worse richer or poorer in sickness and in health.