Wife is getting dangerously close.

[BabyHailey1977]

This morning when I was getting my 8 year old daughter ready for school, my wife walked up and smacked my butt. She then said ooh your butt is padded and square. My daughter asked what she meant by my butt being square. She just laughed and said nothing.

There have been a quite a few instances like this recently. She asked if I was wearing my pampers one day and my daughter looked confused but didn’t say anything.

I honestly don’t mind if my daughter finds out, but when I asked my wife about it she was like “no way! she will tell everyone.” So I told her to be more careful and she just kinda blew me off.

Should I leave it alone, or should I press it with my wife?

 

[NudistMD]

Definitely press it. Something is going on in her mind. There is no chance that her actions are accidental.

What is your relationship with her with respect to being ABDL? Is she your caregiver, changes your diapers, etc?

 

[ORBaby]

Your wife should not be making such remarks in front of your daughter or anyone else without your consent.

 

[SparkyDog]

Ask your wife to not mention anything diaper related in front of or within earshot of your child

 

[RonDL]

Set boundaries in which you are comfortable.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Definitely press it. Something is going on in her mind. There is no chance that her actions are accidental.

What is your relationship with her with respect to being ABDL? Is she your caregiver, changes your diapers, etc?

She has accepted that I like to wear diapers but still doesn’t really like it. She doesn’t get involved at all.

I told her that our daughter is going to figure it out. I asked her multiple times to be careful.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Your wife should not be making such remarks in front of your daughter or anyone else without your consent.

I completely agree. In her mind she just doesn’t believe our daughter will figure it out. I can’t get upset because i don’t want her to tell me not to wear them anymore.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Well...despite that, all nuances and the like should be kept away from your daughter's view & knowledge. All the more because kids tend to explore and succumb to curiosity...and blab. Something like that could get you both in trouble these days, if something was to go sideways. "Loose lips sink ships"...and "if there is one thing in this world that I hate, it is an unlocked footlocker!" --GySgt. Hartman

 

[theancientmariner]

Yes yes yes. Press it like there's no tomorrow. Kids talk about everything they can, and if your daughter knows, it'll spread like a wildfire. Seriously tell your wife to refrain from acknowledging your diapers in front of your impressionable daughter. Seriously. Does she love you?

 

[TexHagrid]

Seriously need to consider your daughter and the psychological ramifications of her finding out her dad wears diapers for fun.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Yes yes yes. Press it like there's no tomorrow. Kids talk about everything they can, and if your daughter knows, it'll spread like a wildfire. Seriously tell your wife to refrain from acknowledging your diapers in front of your impressionable daughter. Seriously. Does she love you?

That’s exactly what I told her. My daughter’s best friend lives across the street. She would tell her, then she would tell her parents and then bam, everyone in the neighborhood will know.

 

[GoodnitesAreGoat]

Yeah, you should certainly stress to your wife that it is a serious concern of yours. Your kid might just tell her whole school that her daddy wears diapers. Kids have no restrictions on what they will tell people.

 

[Calico]

She has accepted that I like to wear diapers but still doesn’t really like it. She doesn’t get involved at all.

I told her that our daughter is going to figure it out. I asked her multiple times to be careful.

Your profile states you are incontinent. If she figures it out, tell her about your medical issue. She will see her mom is being mean about it to her dad, assuming you are not out as trans yet to her.

 

[ChrisChris]

Definitely press it. Something is going on in her mind. There is no chance that her actions are accidental.

What is your relationship with her with respect to being ABDL? Is she your caregiver, changes your diapers, et

This morning when I was getting my 8 year old daughter ready for school, my wife walked up and smacked my butt. She then said ooh your butt is padded and square. My daughter asked what she meant by my butt being square. She just laughed and said nothing.

There have been a quite a few instances like this recently. She asked if I was wearing my pampers one day and my daughter looked confused but didn’t say anything.

I honestly don’t mind if my daughter finds out, but when I asked my wife about it she was like “no way! she will tell everyone.” So I told her to be more careful and she just kinda blew me off.

Should I leave it alone, or should I press it with my wife?

im in agreement with NudistMD. Sounds like for-play. i dont know if i would use the work press it but i would defiantly bring it up with her in privet and kindly and calmly try to figer out what made her do that. if shes into it your a lucky man

 

[TeddyBearCowboy]

Your profile states you are incontinent. If she figures it out, tell her about your medical issue. She will see her mom is being mean about it to her dad, assuming you are not out as trans yet to her.

Calico has a good point Hailey.

There are a couple of things not adding up here. If you are incontinent, then it really isn’t about whether you like to wear diapers or not. And if you are trans female, then what exactly is your relationship there? Are you just closet trans, and if so is this something your wife accepts or is it hidden?

In any case, how you act or react does matter in a bit to how much either you are IC and how much you might feel trans female.

I get that there are parts of our identity that we may only share with others who may understand and it is otherwise hidden, although we identify as such within ourselves.

But scratch all that for a moment, from my perspective, I have to ask the question, is your wife sort of blackmailing you and trying to force your interest in diapers to your daughter as part of a non-acceptance thing herself?

I have three children, well they are actually adults themselves now. But my wife who sometimes accepted and other times did not and held this over my head has on a number of times threatened to “out” me to my kids and even to others.

Blackmail and anger and trying to hurt me is the only way I can describe this behavior.

Could it be that your wife who does not approve of this is trying to embarrass you to cause you to stop wearing, or perhaps even more sadly trying to hurt you in hopes it could damage your relationship with your daughter if she thought this could cause her to think less of you?

I hope this is not the case. But from one who lived through this hell, I can’t help but ask this question.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Ok, so I have time to sit and write now. First, let me explain the dynamic regarding my incontinence. I have been experiencing incontinence issues for about 5-6 years with it gradually getting worse. When it started I didn’t tell my wife about it because I was embarrassed and didn’t think it was that big of a deal. It started with dribbles here and there. Then in April 2020 I told my wife I wanted to wear diapers all the time. But I didn’t tell her about the IC issues. Then after about a year I told her and she believed they were due to me wearing diapers even though it started before them.

So fast forward to the last six months, I have had urodynamics done and I’ve been diagnose with OAB and Urge IC. She still believes that wearing diapers has caused this. I explained that the urologist said this isn’t the case and even let her read my paperwork.

So that’s the IC issue.

Last night I talked to her once our daughter was in bed. I asked her why she did that in front of our daughter and she said that she honestly didn’t think about it. I brought up the last trip to see our son. That I had to stop every hour of the drive to pee and while sitting in the truck with my daughter in the back, asked me why I wasn’t wearing my pampers. My daughter laughed and said “dad doesn’t wear Pampers, he’s not a baby.”

She said that she forgets that our daughter is getting older and can figure things out. That she’s just trying to have fun with it and needs to pay more attention.

I asked her if she wants our daughter to know and she said no way, that she would be very embarrassed if she told others about it. I said it wasn’t a matter of if, but how many people. She agreed to not make the comments anymore and that if my daughter finds out that we will tell her it’s because of health reasons.

This topic is extremely hard for me to discuss with my wife because I’m afraid she will just tell me to stop wearing them. I explained that I am beyond that point and can’t go very long without a diaper. I reminded her that the other day she commented about how many times I use the bathroom and I explained that I go every 45 minutes to make sure I don’t have an accident when not wearing a diaper.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Also, my wife knows that I am trans, but I don’t do anything with it. She told me it would be the end of our marriage if I pursued it.

 

[HoneySnow]

I'm sorry you are dealing with all this, but honestly it sounds to me like your wife is being passive aggressive. She doesn't really believe the IC and blames the diaper wearing for that issue. She may be trying to shame you into not wearing without actually telling you to stop. Like she is using your daughter to get you to stop. Because there is no way she has slipped that many times by accident. Especially if she isn't a part of your ABDL space. I hate to say it, but she might be resentful of you being trans and little. be careful.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

I’m being as carefully as possible.

 

[Calico]

Also, my wife knows that I am trans, but I don’t do anything with it. She told me it would be the end of our marriage if I pursued it.

Which is why I used Dad pronouns with your daughter because I assume she doesn't know and still sees you as a he and Dad. I didn't want anyone here thinking I was being transphobic or misgendering you purposely.