I remember one day a while back, I really just needed a break.
I came home and went right to my bedroom, changed out of my clothes, taped on a diaper, threw on my baby shirt, and popped my paci in my mouth, and within seconds I was frozen in place with my legs quivering under me as I filled my diaper. I took a deep breath and every muscle relaxed even though I had so much anxiety left over from my day, like I was just deeply ready. I laid down in bed and just sucked on my paci and flapped my hands and wiggled my legs before noticing how small I was in that moment, and I curled up into a ball under my thick blankets, cuddled my pillows and went to sleep early. I woke up later in the evening wearing a poopy diaper and sucking on a pacifier, and I flooded while wiggling my legs and just feeling like the softest little cuddlebundle in the whole world. The feeling of relief I had after just letting it all go was just.... wow. Curled up in a poopy diaper snuggling my pillows, I was just itty bitty.