Trans Folks: How Do You Feel About "Gendered' Toys From Your Childhood

[Sterling]

Heya! I'm a trans-guy! I was wondering if there were any other trans folks that struggle with/have weird feelings about things you enjoyed in your childhood?

While I certainly like and have respect for Barbie nowadays, I always dreaded holidays with extended family lmao. I'm a dino guy, dangit!
(It was, of course, nice that they thought of me, but it always made me aware when people didn't know me at all lol)
But there are certainly other things from my childhood that were "for girls" that I really enjoyed. Furby, Tamagotchi, Doodle Bear, Skydancers, etc. etc.
I still MOSTLY enjoy these things, but it often has me confronting my gender in a space where it's not particularly welcome.

This is especially true when buying from ABDL companies. I like blue and hate pink, but I don't feel nostalgic for a lot of the "boy" designs, and I do for certain "girl" things.
So I tend to gravitate towards gender neutral items so I don't have to think about it lol

Obviously, I like what I like and I'm not looking to necessarily change my preferences, but I was wondering if anyone else struggled with this and how you handled it.

 

[mistykitty]

Gendered stuff is still a issue now though less of it than it was. I'm m to f transfemale and when I was younger I was always into what others called girlier things. I was thinking like why can't I use this who care but I eventually had to stop because I was constantly getting reprimanded by some family mostly my dad for not having masculine interests like my brothers. I wanted things like plushies and cooking stuff they wanted things like footballs and nerf guns and that was apparently what i was supposed to like. I don't think anything aside restrooms should have a specified gender assignment it's just so not correct at all. You know that marketing caused these stereotypes right? Due to their greed they wanted to make kids want certain toys and the easiet method to do that was to assign gender roles to them (I know this through research). Take a look at this link even this kid knows at a young age it's wrong, it was famous a few years ago when first released.

 

[sillygirl]

I’m a trans female and I have always gravitated towards more girl toys. My parents were always so confused when I wanted girly stuff.

 

[mistykitty]

I’m a trans female and I have always gravitated towards more girl toys. My parents were always so confused when I wanted girly stuff.

Same exact situation here. Except for me my father was abusive about it not just confused. Some of my other family found it odd but they didn't hurt me over it. I eventually had to hide that part of myself until I was older.

 

[Cottontail]

While I certainly like and have respect for Barbie nowadays, I always dreaded holidays with extended family lmao. I'm a dino guy, dangit!

Ha ha, I can appreciate that--from a different perspective. My oldest (19) is trans-male. He had, or has (we still have everything) Barbies, American Girl dolls, Polly Pockets, ... lots of traditionally "girl" toys. But amusingly, particularly in hindsight, his favorites were Thomas trains, dinosaurs, and to a lesser extent Transformers. I can remember a few nights when Wife and I had to tear the house apart looking for Edward (little wooden Thomas train) because that was Oldest's comfort object.

In the last few weeks, I've several times mentioned how I still have my childhood Cabbage Patch Kid, and I finally went looking for him the other day. Mission accomplished, but it required me to dig through tubs of our kids' old toys (we also have a 15-year-old boy), and wow! So much "girl" stuff! We figured the kids might eventually want to pass some of this on to their own kids, or at least choose who to give it to. My own parents did that for my sister and me, and we certainly appreciated it. But as I dug through the big tub of dolls, I couldn't help wondering, "What would he think of all this stuff now? Is he going to want any of it?"

I suppose, if nothing else, he might have a sentimental attachment. It was, regardless of gender, a part of his childhood, so we're not going to casually discard any of it now.

 

[mistykitty]

Ha ha, I can appreciate that--from a different perspective. My oldest (19) is trans-male. He had, or has (we still have everything) Barbies, American Girl dolls, Polly Pockets, ... lots of traditionally "girl" toys. But amusingly, particularly in hindsight, his favorites were Thomas trains, dinosaurs, and to a lesser extent Transformers. I can remember a few nights when Wife and I had to tear the house apart looking for Edward (little wooden Thomas train) because that was Oldest's comfort object.

In the last few weeks, I've several times mentioned how I still have my childhood Cabbage Patch Kid, and I finally went looking for him the other day. Mission accomplished, but it required me to dig through tubs of our kids' old toys (we also have a 15-year-old boy), and wow! So much "girl" stuff! We figured the kids might eventually want to pass some of this on to their own kids, or at least choose who to give it to. My own parents did that for my sister and me, and we certainly appreciated it. But as I dug through the big tub of dolls, I couldn't help wondering, "What would he think of all this stuff now? Is he going to want any of it?"

I suppose, if nothing else, he might have a sentimental attachment. It was, regardless of gender, a part of his childhood, so we're not going to casually discard any of it now.

Though you are in the opposite situation from what I was/am I would like to say thank you for being understanding about your oldest. If only more of the world were like you maybe some things wouldn't be so stigmatized.

 

[PrettyLilPrincess]

My sister is actually transmasc! (She's ok with me referring to her as "sis", "my sister", etc and using she/her pronouns- I've just asked her about me sharing all this and she was fine with it!) She mainly goes by Xe/He online, and in spaces where LGBT+ themes are prominent/more accepted (I'm talking things like Pride celebrations, in discord servers, etc.) Growing up we had a wide variety of different toys- stereotypically girly ones of course, but also Thomas the tank engine, dinosaurs, pokemon, "boyish" things of that nature. I think any cognizance of gender steroetypes weren't usually applied to toys by anyone in my immediate family.

 

[PrettyLilPrincess]

Ha ha, I can appreciate that--from a different perspective. My oldest (19) is trans-male.

I remember you mentioning this! I was a little shy to say anything at the time, but I wish I could congratulate your son! In any case, I wish him (and you!) a bright future going forward in this new discovery about himself.

 

[PinkAndLittle]

I don't really have anything from when I was a kid so I don't have to worry about any physical reminders of when my parents pushed 'macho male' stuff on me. Now that I'm in my 30's, no ties to my parents, and can be/am myself.. I'm definitely more of a typical girly girl who loves everything pink and cute. Though my hobbies haven't changed since then (mainly photography and gaming). I do end up catching myself feeling weird about stuff from when I was a kid. For example talking to coworkers about old games that I loved or played a lot of way back then, remembering having a blast with them, then feeling kinda gross that I was into it then. Though granted when your parents are the ones dictating what you can get, there's only so much you can do. Still, makes me cringe a little when I look back.

 

[Cottontail]

Though you are in the opposite situation from what I was/am I would like to say thank you for being understanding about your oldest. If only more of the world were like you maybe some things wouldn't be so stigmatized.

I remember you mentioning this! I was a little shy to say anything at the time, but I wish I could congratulate your son! In any case, I wish him (and you!) a bright future going forward in this new discovery about himself.

Thank you both. I'd be lying if I said things had been completely frictionless, but then I don't suppose they ever are. I think we're in a good place now though. I mostly don't like comparing ABDL to differences of gender identity and sexuality, but they obviously bump into each other sometimes, and they are all frequently misunderstood and maligned. When Oldest came out to us, it was easy for me to imagine myself trying to explain and somehow justify littleness and diapers, and I realized that I just had to say "this is ok." And, for the most part, it has been.

 

[Demonbabywearspamps]

I find this funny because I still have my first rattle from when I was a baby. The funniest conicdnce... is the rattle is trans colors. And it has a spinny part that spins between pink and blue. Guess who's trans years later :3 But for the actaul question I personally hate dolls. I always cut the hair off my baribes and mostly loved stuffed animals that were gender nutural to me.

 

[Bunnybnuy]

Gender's something I think about a lot retrospectively, because my childhood was both heavily gendered and paradoxically not at all? Obviously marketing's going to do it's thing and that's largely how kids like me found out about the stuff we were into, but the for boys or for girls factor was never something that mattered to me. My sib's non-binary, but I'm not sure if either of us really "gender" our interests if that makes sense? We shared tastes in a lot of things growing up, and we liked what we liked regardless of what gender the TV said it was for. I for one don't like mlp just because it's for girls and that's what we're supposed to like, I like them because it's cute, I have a lot of friends who also like it, and I adore the G4 show just as much now as i did growing up. to use an example OP brings up, i struggle to think of anyone i knew who didn't have a furby or a tamagatchi during school. One or both of those would be in someone's room, boy, girl, or otherwise.

 

[Cottontail]

I always cut the hair off my baribes

At least they were yours! When I was 9-10 years old, one of my good friends was a neighbor girl who had a little brother. I can remember going over to her house after school one day and hearing her brother crying in his bedroom. It turned out he'd just cut the manes and tails off her My Little Ponies and gotten spanked for it. I'm sorry to say that I found it very funny, but because she was upset I think I managed not to laugh. It was the sort of thing I often imagined doing when I was mad at my own sister, but would never have actually done.

 

[Serendiapity]

30-year-old trans woman here! As a little kid, I never especially gravitated toward toys that were particularly gendered one way or another. For toys that were considered more on the boyish side, I always liked things like Lego and wooden Thomas trains, but I also enjoyed girlier things like Furby and plushies. My absolute favorite toy was a plush Jemima Puddle-Duck doll that I carried everywhere with me for years!

Although I’m a binary woman and pretty feminine in the way I present in my day-to-day life, I do think I’m more fluid in the gendered ways that I interact with my little side. I can enjoy feeling girly when I’m in a babyish mood, but I’ll sometimes also assume the headspace of a little boy on occasion, complete with diapers like DinoRawrs to match. I’m not even entirely sure why that is, but at the end of the day, if it makes me happy in the moment, I’m not too worried about it.

Thank you both. I'd be lying if I said things had been completely frictionless, but then I don't suppose they ever are. I think we're in a good place now though. I mostly don't like comparing ABDL to differences of gender identity and sexuality, but they obviously bump into each other sometimes, and they are all frequently misunderstood and maligned. When Oldest came out to us, it was easy for me to imagine myself trying to explain and somehow justify littleness and diapers, and I realized that I just had to say "this is ok." And, for the most part, it has been.

Judging by the impression I get of you from the posts you have written here and elsewhere on this site, I bet you’re a fantastic parent. Thank you for having such empathy and willingness to be a loving and accepting father to him.

 

[SissyAliceUK]

I'm a AMAB person who is more nonbinary to genderfluid, as a kid i played which mostly boyish toys but i did have some girls toys too. I liked the puppy in my pocket collectables which was aimed at girls because i loved dogs, i also had some "treasure rocks" toys as i liked the treasure.

I also remember wanting the Baywatch Barbie as she came with a dolphin as i was obsessed with dolphins at the time, i had planned to use the Barbie as a girlfriend for my action men but i never got it in the end.

 

[Newbaby110521]

The British comedian Russell Howard looked at this on his show on a segment called ‘Why are girls toys patronising and ****’?’ Talking about how boys toys or toys aimed at boys are about building, working things out, killing or destroying things whereas in his words ‘girls toys it’s just a blizzard of pink’. Personally I think he has a point but despite being a bloke I don’t play with ‘girls toys’ but certain books and films that are aimed (sometimes unashamedly) at girls I do quite enjoy like
1. Babysitters Club (Books)
2. Saddle Club (Books and TV show)
3. The Worst Witch (TV Show)
4. Disney Princess movies
5. Vampire Academy (Books and Film)
6. Princess Diaries (Movie)
7. Choices (App)
This is just a list off the top of my head and I’m aware some of them might not be considered appropriate for a little girl (or boy)! But it does illustrate my point that this idea of pitching things as for boys or girls is something that should have died out a few years ago.

 

[Sterling]

Dang, I got super busy over the weekend and couldn't check in on this like I had planned but, WOW, I didn't expect this much of a response. I'm glad that I'm not alone with these very niche feelings.

I definitely feel as though AMAB folks get the short end of the stick with these things. Adults around me would handwave my interests and behaviors as being a "tomboy," which is more socially acceptable for some reason. It's a real shame how parents will reprimand their children for liking the "wrong" things. I'm sorry that some of you had to experience that.

Edit: I hope to post and elaborate on this topic later, but it's almost bed time and y'all have given me SO MUCH to think about!

 

[DreamyDoodleBug]

Heya! I'm a trans-guy! I was wondering if there were any other trans folks that struggle with/have weird feelings about things you enjoyed in your childhood?

While I certainly like and have respect for Barbie nowadays, I always dreaded holidays with extended family lmao. I'm a dino guy, dangit!
(It was, of course, nice that they thought of me, but it always made me aware when people didn't know me at all lol)
But there are certainly other things from my childhood that were "for girls" that I really enjoyed. Furby, Tamagotchi, Doodle Bear, Skydancers, etc. etc.
I still MOSTLY enjoy these things, but it often has me confronting my gender in a space where it's not particularly welcome.

This is especially true when buying from ABDL companies. I like blue and hate pink, but I don't feel nostalgic for a lot of the "boy" designs, and I do for certain "girl" things.
So I tend to gravitate towards gender neutral items so I don't have to think about it lol

Obviously, I like what I like and I'm not looking to necessarily change my preferences, but I was wondering if anyone else struggled with this and how you handled it.

Is a cis woman, played with everything as a kid but I also really liked “boy” toys, like hot wheels. I think there’s a major double standard. Where it’s more normalized for woman to enjoy traditionally masculine things than the other way around, and I think that needs to change. My father made it very obvious growing up that he wanted a son and not a daughter, plus told me a lot of misogynistic things, so while I did still enjoy those things, I know that while I didn’t really know how to communicate it that young, while I’m cis as a child I absolutely hated being female and would go as far as trying to convince peers I was male and would get upset whenever teachers or parents would correct that. Didn’t really know why it bothered me so much at the time but it was definitely internalized misogyny plus hoping that it would get my dad to care about me. Took me a very long time to feel comfortable presenting feminine and now I’m pretty hyperfeminine

 

[Diaperfaerie]

As someone who also likes inflatables and has a fairly young little age, it's really nice to play with toys I didn't get to. Like some of my hobby are definitely masc, but getting to play with mlp, barbie, frozen stuff. Or use character themed pool floaty is amazing

 

[PaddedCub]

Transmasc. I played with anything animal related, which was usually marketed as gender neutral, but I have some girl marketed things I have lots of nostalgia / fond memories of. For example littlest pet shop. I also have nostalgia for boy marketed toys too because my parents weren’t into gendering my stuff strongly as a kid, besides trying to make me wear dresses. I say try because I’d start biting and they’d give up I do tend to lean into the boy stuff and neutral stuff now I must admit, also to avoid thinking about it too hard lol. I’m not a fan of pink either but definitely have nostalgia about it, it’s a complex situation lol