Terrible 1980s Bedwetting Advice

[bedwetterdavid]

I found this book on raising children written in the 80s, and now I understand why so many parents were clueless. Was anyone else treated like bed wetting was your fault?

 

[Edgewater]

History is commonly said to hold the answers to the Future. What you have come across is an example that Humans continue to screw-up and many times, HUGELY! That said, there is great knowledge in History and we need to education ourself and accept its short-comes and build on its strengths.

As you know, the answer is to Love and Support our Child!

 

[Wetshisbed]

Growing up in the 1960s and 70s most people saw bedwetting as a disgusting habit not a medical problem.

 

[ade]

That's not too bad (at least the n-word gets a look-in).
Back in the day, there was kids' piss all over the place because there was a pathological and hysterical aversion to them wearing protection, all tied in with, and stemming from, the authoritarianism and regimentalism/militarism values of the day. Life was much less cuddly, overall (no soft furnishings and no carpet [tiles] in schools and public buildings), and children were expected to conform to the one-size-fits-all dictats of 'experts' and doctors in order to fit into The System [of making workers and soldiers as quickly as possible]. The masses lived in ignorance (bouyed up by gallons of booze and pop culture) and simply obeyed their 'betters'.
And before Freud, Spock, Money and other nutjobs, we had:




The n-word was never mentioned in our household. I took to the commonsense solution myself, secretly. If a 6 year old can figure it out......

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Dr. John Money was not only a fraud but a damn sex pervert and systemic murderer. #RememberTheReimersRIP

 

[AnalogRTO]

God, this reminds me of my mother's attitude towards my late potty-training and bedwetting issues (and throw in there the all too often daytime accidents as well). The way to correct these concerns was to embarrass, shame, and humiliate a child to try and force them to correct the problem themselves. A lot of doctors didn't really want to look into things deeply unless there was a constant issue that couldn't be dismissed easily either.

"Oh, he's a late potty-train, but he's way ahead of others in his mental development. Because he does so well there, that slows down his development in other areas. Find something that will make him want out of the diapers. If he's happy in them, then he's not going to try and control his issues."

"Still wetting the bed? Well, we're starting to see that a certain percentage of boys will have that issue even as they get older. Diapers won't fix the problem, they'll just keep the sheets dry."

 

[Zeke]

History is commonly said to hold the answers to the Future. What you have come across is an example that Humans continue to screw-up and many times, HUGELY! That said, there is great knowledge in History and we need to education ourself and accept its short-comes and build on its strengths.

As you know, the answer is to Love and Support our Child!

So true. And often the history we learn the most from studying is that where we made mistakes and failed.

 

[AttilaThePun]

Dr. John Money was not only a fraud but a damn sex pervert and systemic murderer. #RememberTheReimersRIP

He's the reason I hope there's a hell, so he can burn in it for eternity.

 

[AJFan2020]

I found this book on raising children written in the 80s, and now I understand why so many parents were clueless. Was anyone else treated like bed wetting was your fault?

View attachment 122770

On very rare occasions the scenarios and techniques described here can work and even more rarely might be appropriate. I have only seen one or two examples of this in my entire life, though (so it is quite rare).

More often, though the child usually has an undiagnosed condition like ADD/ADHD,Autism,Epilepsy, sleep apnea, allergies, or another condition entirely that just hasn’t been diagnosed yet. Not surprisingly these are the very conditions that many people who grew up back in the 1950s don’t believe in.

 

[AJFan2020]

Growing up in the 1960s and 70s most people saw bedwetting as a disgusting habit not a medical problem.

People back then saw it as a sign of laziness, stubbornness, selfishness, mental illness, and future criminal behavior of various kinds and they were wrong on all of these points in nearly every instance.

 

[ThatDiaperDude]

I've heard the thing about "the child just wants more attention from their parents" back when I was a kid.
In Germany, we have something called 'Schuleingangsuntersuchung' (it's a beautiful language, isn't it? ). Basically, before your child starts school, you have to take it to a doctor. Said doctor will examine the kid both physically and psychologically to determine if the kid is ready to go to school or not.
When my mother took me there, she was asked by the doctor if I still needed diapers at night or not. She told him that I did wet the bed almost every night, to which he replied something along the lines of 'Well, he's doing it on purpose. He's jealous of his younger siblings and wants more of your attention. I've never seen a child his age still wet the bed that's not either retarded or doing it on purpose.'
My mother told the doctor that there were no siblings, took me by the hand and we left. A couple of days later, she took me to another doctor, who didn't have any problem with my bedwetting. She just said that some kids take more time than other and that it's fine.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

More often, though the child usually has an undiagnosed condition like ADD/ADHD, Autism, Epilepsy, sleep apnea, allergies, or another condition entirely that just hasn’t been diagnosed yet. Not surprisingly these are the very conditions that many people who grew up back in the 1950s don’t believe in.

Bingo. America was fresh out of WW2 victory and in another phase of "Manifest Destiny" expansionism, the feeling we could take it all, suffer no consequences for it and that there was no weakness tolerable to conquer this 'Brave New World'. We were horrifically ignorant & arrogant...and it's only changed nominally.

 

[Cottontail]

The 80s were my childhood, and although I wasn't a bedwetter myself, I knew a couple of kids who were. Diapers seemed to be a last resort. Instead there were bedwetting alarms. I remember a friend pointing out the "Wee Alert" (that was the actual product name) on his sister's bed. He thought it was terribly funny--as did I, I'm sorry to say, because I'd never seen such a thing. In hindsight I felt sorry for her. Wake up to a buzzer when you've already peed, race to the toilet, and then try to deal with your own wet clothes and bedded... in the middle of the night... and then try to go back to sleep so you can be rested and ready for school? How did anybody think that was a good idea?

 

[killahB]

I had a bed wetting issue until I was 7 or 8. Sadly, my parents, especially my dad, decided I was doing it deliberately and used shame to punish me when it happened. I think it was related to the rather obvious depression and anxiety I developed as a young child.

And people wonder why so many of us don't look back fondly on the "good old days".

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Thing I don't understand is you should have a lot of adults who bed wet as a child who can either know or say from personal experience "no that's BS because I know I wasn't doing it on purpose". How does reading incorrect info suddenly defy everyone's real world experiences, and they just go along with it knowing it's false?

 

[killahB]

Thing I don't understand is you should have a lot of adults who bed wet as a child who can either know or say from personal experience "no that's BS because I know I wasn't doing it on purpose". How does reading incorrect info suddenly defy everyone's real world experiences, and they just go along with it knowing it's false?

In my case, my parents, particularly my father, are extremely narcissistic and my best guess is that my having a problem with bed wetting was seen as an attack on their parenting skills. It's been a common theme in my life. Any imperfection on my part is viewed as a personal slight against them.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I could quote Carlin...but that might make everybody angry.

 

[AnalogRTO]

In my case, my parents, particularly my father, are extremely narcissistic and my best guess is that my having a problem with bed wetting was seen as an attack on their parenting skills. It's been a common theme in my life. Any imperfection on my part is viewed as a personal slight against them.

My mother was the narcissist when I was dealing with it. She and my father divorced when I was young, and she was very bitter over it. Therefore, every success I had was due to her wonderful parenting skills, and every failure was because I was being like my father. Of course, my sister was the golden child...

The 1970's were not the greatest time to be growing up, especially with the attitudes used in raising children. Shame, embarrassment, and humiliation were my mother's go to methods when things weren't going how she wanted with me. Couple that with her severely narcissistic personality and it was a 'less-than-stellar' environment for me.

 

[killahB]

I could quote Carlin...but that might make everybody angry.

Please feel free to quote Carlin. I appreciate harsh truths.

 

[FudgedInLuvs]

Schuleingangsuntersuchung

OK, I know y'all love those compound nouns, let me see if my again mind can remember a bit of German:

Schule - School
eingang - entrance
unterschung - exam/survey

a school entrance exam?