May have to tell my mother

[BabyDemon33]

My mom is wondering what all the unusual light weight packages I keep ordering are. I tell her its private but now she thinks its highly suspicious and that I’m buying drugs. Okay so like is this beyond the pail? Should I just tell her. Should I lie and say my IBS is really bad, should I just start wearing depends all the time and have her ask the question? God living with parents while being ABDL sucks

 

[SparkyDog]

Telling more lies never makes things better

stop the shipments to home
get them delivered to a locker or pickup location can bring them home in a backpack or something

See if things smooth over when packages stop

Telling parents you're abdl is never a good move. Almost always goes over poorly.

 

[Cottontail]

I tell her its private but now she thinks its highly suspicious and that I’m buying drugs.

She's told you that she thinks you're buying drugs? Aiee. It's hard to know what to suggest without better understanding your situation, but obviously it's not a great sign that your Mom is jumping to that sort of conclusion. Ideally, if things were going well for you, your parents would find out about your wearing diapers and think, "Well... The ends justify the means, I guess, so no biggie." (Open minds being a prerequisite, obviously.) And on the other end of the spectrum, if things are not going well for you, and/or your parents are generally inclined to doubt your trajectory, it's easy to imagine diapers being seen as a manifestation of "yet another roadblock," and exacerbating an already strained relationship. Obviously this latter scenario is worth avoiding if possible! I guess I'm inclined to vote with @SparkyDog and suggest stepping up the privacy if possible. If it does eventually get out, whether because they go digging or demand an answer, you'll be able to claim that you did your best to keep a private matter private, and that's at least something.

 

[Wetshisbed]

I was lucky during my teens my folks knew I wore nappies.

 

[BabyDemon33]

She's told you that she thinks you're buying drugs?

More so she said it scare her when I say the package is private

 

[denimchicken]

Not to sound facetious but in my head I would have said "yup it's drugs, nothing to work about"

But I agree with sparkydog. Have them mailed someplace else then pick them up.

I don't know what your living situation is but can you abstain from diapers until you move out?

 

[LilDawson]

If you haven't already got a copy and are able to, consider getting yourself the book "You're Not Broken" by Rhoda Lipscomb - it may just help you out! If your mother is psychologically flexible - essentially, someone with more of an open mind - you'll likely have success in opening up about your interest; honest communication would likely be your best bet. If she's not, though, it may end up going very poorly for ya, and cause some damage to your relationship with her. All the best to ya, and hope everything works out!

 

[warmfeeling]

My mom is wondering what all the unusual light weight packages I keep ordering are. I tell her it’s private but now she thinks it’s highly suspicious and that I’m buying drugs. Okay so like is this beyond the pale? Should I just tell her. Should I lie and say my IBS is really bad, should I just start wearing depends all the time and have her ask the question? God living with parents while being ABDL sucks

If you get on with your mom, I’d just be honest, you’re not doing any harm. Good luck

 

[foxkits]

It's sexual items your experimenting that way they may leave you alone. No parent want to get involved with that.

 

[KBoy]

It's sexual items your experimenting that way they may leave you alone. No parent want to get involved with that.

I in no way want to really give advice here, I am just thinking about opportunity.
Instead of implying that your ABDL experience is sexual, perhaps saying it is a self soothing behavior and the only thing that works when you really need it.
I don't know, but if you would like to have your parent excepting you're second babyhood, you may want to break it gently.

 

[ShinyMichael]

I would pick your moment but would think some for of openness on the topic will be of benefit. What you want to tell her is up to you but as others have rightly said, deception breeds deception. Be prepared that the conversation might not go how you imagine it. Another reason not to lie - thats how you find yourself at the doctors!

My mum always new I needed them and worked out pretty quickly I liked them. A teenage boy not complaining constantly about wearing nappies is evidence enough of that. I'm eternally grateful our situation allowed me to be myself and her not feel weird about it - possibly even the opposite.

 

[Napincolove]

Purely my take and am not advising you in any way.
To me lying is not the way forward, you make mention of IBS and that is one ailment that really requires Nappies so if you suffer with that then you have a legit reason to be wearing protection, the fact you like Nappies seems irrelevant in this matter and in any case your sexual preferences are your business and no one elses so why complicate issues.
Good luck with however you choose to handle this.

 

[Belarin]

I agree with just being more discreet about it, most companies now will offer a local collect service where they ship items to a nearby store for you to collect from or you can rent a drop box (PO box in the UK don't know if they are called the same elsewhere), another option is waiting for a day when they are going to be out and then paying for next day shipping the morning before though this doesn't always work if your delivery is delayed or they are often not at home.

It's generally not a good Idea to tell parents, You will know them best and if you feel they might be able to accept it there are ways to make it easier for them to understand but you still then have to live with the knowledge that they know and will be looking for signs you are wearing and that will never be able to be taken back, it will change the way they see you and they will still probably worry about you and while friends or other acquaintances may come and go if you have a good family relationship they will be with you to the end.

It is however never a good idea to lie about things as it will inevitably come back to bite you on your padded rear.

---

This next part should not be taken as my general advise, as I said above it's usually better not to tell parents and instead look for an opportunity to move into your own place as soon as you are able so you don't have the worries. But in the meantime if she does keep pressing you and you do decide to talk with her, rather than open up about diapers right away it might be better just to try and calm her fears, you could start by saying something along the lines of.

"I understand you want to know what is in my packages and why I keep getting them and I notice that it bothers you, I imagine you are worried about me and want to know that everything is ok. I'm sure you understand that everyone has things they like to keep to themselves and don't want to share openly and I imagine there are things even you do or have done in the past that you want to keep private and won't share with others, I am an adult now and entitled to a little bit of privacy"

That last little bit about being an adult might need to be cut if your mum is a bit controlling or tries to manage your life still. You could then continue on with some examples like.

"Sometimes those private things could be Illegal or Immoral like drugs or gang stuff. But they can also be completely innocent and normal like starting a personal collection hobby, learning something new like a language or how to play an instrument, sewing, model building/painting etc. And they just want to keep it to themselves as 'their thing'. Maybe they like to paint and sell their art but feel they need privacy and personal space to get the creative juices flowing.
Sometimes It might be something that could be considered weird, intimate or unconventional like a potential transwoman exploring their gender with makeup and dresses or a young person exploring their body/sexuality maybe even with adult toys. Maybe they just deal with a lot of stress or have depression and have found an unusual way to deal with that which they don't want to share because it's too personal or they don't want the pity or feel ashamed."
Here you could possibly test the waters a little by saying something like this and gauging her reaction to the diaper part.

"I've even heard of some people with odd fetishes like bondage or people who like to wear diapers."
give it a moment to test reactions then continue with a strong reassurance.

"The packages I get contain nothing illegal, immoral or harmful in any way, nor will it affect you or anyone else. I wonder if you can understand that they contain personal items to help me with something that I would rather not share with anyone."

If she knows about the IBS you could maybe add that it's something 'a little embarrassing' and she might get the hint, you can then end with.

"maybe in the future I will be willing to explain more but I am not ready to do that yet."

This is only an example conversation parts can easily be changed around or excluded, the key points that need to be included are: recognising your mothers feelings at the start and showing understanding of how she feels, and the I wonder, I imagine and I notice lines.
These are called "winning" statements (Wonder, Imagine, Notice) they are often used in early years care to help children with many things from understanding emotions and behavioural boundaries to communicating, sharing ideas and working in partnership. Used alongside recognition can be a highly effective tool for communicating and talking people around difficult topics, children or adults.

---

Each person will take things differently so it can only come down to how well you know your mum and how you feel she might react. But remember even if you think your mum is the most open minded and accepting free choice loving person in the world, when it comes to their own family a parents views can often be quite different due to the intimate familial bonds you have developed.

Some parents will accept a firm statement like this and leave it at that, others may think that's not good enough and keep pressing you on it, they may even try to intercept and open the packages or search your room if they are inclined to be invasive. some may just have a few questions so be prepared to answer, be honest but stick to the point of privacy.

Some parents are terrible and might get angry believing you have no right to privacy in their house no matter how old you are while others will accept that we all have private needs. Some may still think the packages are bad or illegal, others, thanks to the mature and understanding of their feelings way you put it will accept they are not. Some might be a bit homophobic hearing all that and start to worry their child is LGBTQ and freak out, some might be more open thinking that and being ok with it.

Some may even be like my mum who when I finally (after 30 years) decided to tell her because I wanted to go cloth and needed to be able to have launder them without her wondering why there are huge diapers on the line. I had a whole speech and explanation with references for her to look up and read through planned and after I got to the diapers part was like "oh is that all, I thought you were going to tell me you're gay" She would have been fine with that but it was like wearing diapers were nothing by comparison.

Anyway I hope this helps you or someone in a similar position, I still advise keeping it to yourself but sometimes a person just can't get away with that, The fact you have IBS may help a little as that is a legitimate reason for needing diapers and/or privacy at least.

 

[Woncrinklz]

It's sexual items your experimenting that way they may leave you alone. No parent want to get involved with that.

My mother rifled through absolutely EVERYTHING all the time because she knew I had a "mad scientist" personality. This meant there was ALWAYS SOMETHING hidden behind, underneath, up above, or down below somewhere in my room, or let's say property. I craved knowledge, and loved to tinker around.

I was a good kid, but amazingly bored. My intrigue for anything led to many experiments, contraptions, and excursions. Eventually she found hidden diapers when I was a youngster. So be it.
The repercussion: I never had respect from her ever since, I was "The DEVIANT". (she's dead now. I'm kinda thankful about it actually so her disrespecting thoughts ceased.)

But with her, this also led to my word not being taken as truth. I was a very honest person, so I was very hurt by her reactions later with me. The grounds for respect were blown to smithereens.. which really bothered me a damn huge amount.

A darn bunch of diapers, and decades later through my life I was always spoken down to, not listened to, disrespected, and not believed! It took time before she agreed I could fix her car!
But she did depend on me, and trusted my good heart when she fell ill.

Though the big deal was that my integrity was shattered and disregarded by her permanently.

So the diapers actually really screwed up my feelings in a weird way where even to this day if my integrity is questioned, by anyone, I retaliate in a big way.

It's wild how childhood tissues can be a psychological ball and chain way down the road. I still love diapers, though.

So depending on the parent, think think think. (not that I didn't. I just never thought she'd find them)

 

[denimchicken]

My mother rifled through absolutely EVERYTHING all the time because she knew I had a "mad scientist" personality. This meant there was ALWAYS SOMETHING hidden behind, underneath, up above, or down below somewhere in my room, or let's say property. I craved knowledge, and loved to tinker around.

I was a good kid, but amazingly bored. My intrigue for anything led to many experiments, contraptions, and excursions. Eventually she found hidden diapers when I was a youngster. So be it.
The repercussion: I never had respect from her ever since, I was "The DEVIANT". (she's dead now. I'm kinda thankful about it actually so her disrespecting thoughts ceased.)

But with her, this also led to my word not being taken as truth. I was a very honest person, so I was very hurt by her reactions later with me. The grounds for respect were blown to smithereens.. which really bothered me a damn huge amount.

A darn bunch of diapers, and decades later through my life I was always spoken down to, not listened to, disrespected, and not believed! It took time before she agreed I could fix her car!
But she did depend on me, and trusted my good heart when she fell ill.

Though the big deal was that my integrity was shattered and disregarded by her permanently.

So the diapers actually really screwed up my feelings in a weird way where even to this day if my integrity is questioned, by anyone, I retaliate in a big way.

It's wild how childhood tissues can be a psychological ball and chain way down the road. I still love diapers, though.

So depending on the parent, think think think. (not that I didn't. I just never thought she'd find them)

Sorry this happened to you. It's really mind blowing how devicive this fancy underwear is. It's underwear for crying out loud.

 

[elliston]

Start using an Amazon locker, they are a god send.

 

[ChristianDiaperLover]

When I lived at home and before my parents found out about my diapers I would just say it’s a toy I ordered. I love to collect toys of video game characters and Star Wars figures. They never asked what it looked like. But when my parents found my diaper stash I told my mom I was ordering diapers online. So whenever I got a package of diapers and my mom asked i would tell her I ordered more diapers.

 

[JOCKMAN]

What age are you? If you are 35 I would suggest something based on that. If you are 18, I would suggest something different.

 

[Tommy10]

Echoing what others have said: get a UPS or USPS box, and collect your shipments privately. I had a USPS box for this very reason. They just put a key in your little p.o. box for one of the lockers on the wall, and you open it up and take your stuff. If it's too big for a locker, they put a claim ticket in your box, which you hand to the person at the counter, who then finds your big box and passes it to you with no questions asked or comments offered. It really is that easy

I never used UPS boxes, but I suspect its the same.