Just wondering...

[teddybearbaby85]

I am a 30 year old female adult baby and I have noticed that NOBODY bats an eye at me when they hear or see that I sleep with a Teddy bear (s) and stuffies. I always take one or two if they are small with me when I am in the hospital and all I have ever gotten are sincere compliments on how cute they are. I was just wondering if it is because I am a girl or what?? Any simular experiences????

 

[KimbaFoxNatsume]

Well, I kinda doubt anyone in a professional setting like a hospital is going to say something negative about it to the person, unless they're particularly rude. As for personal experience, I'm also female and if my memory is correct, I usually take a stuffed animal with me to the emergency room, and in the past have taken one to some doctor and dentist appointments. I can't recall any outright negative comments from the staff. At the dentist they told me they keep a teddy bear on hand for nervous kids

 

[Ally]

Absolutely. I have a medium-sized 6 inch stuffed animal I carry around with me for security. I cannot be outside without him. He helps me to cope with anxiety, and I find that I can fidget and play with him when I feel the need to stim. I don't make a special effort to be discreet, but I am also not trying to draw attention to myself.

The only comments I've ever (ever!) received were warm, playful. Someone saying how cute he IS. Where did I get him? A smile from an adult. Or a child asking if they could hold him. I feel that because I do not treat him as something secretive, people are more inclined to casually glance and dismiss this "oddity". Which is my goal. :blushie:

For better or worse, us girls can get away with a lot more than men when it comes to being cute or juvenile. Especially if we are young or have a certain aura. And even if we do trip someone's "that's different" alarm, people aren't as likely to make the leap of "that's different and dangerous", like they may with a 6 foot, 250 pound man displaying similar behavior. And that is unfair, but it's what we have to work with.

 

[foxkits]

As girls you can get away with it us guys cant sadly.

 

[SilentlySpeaking]

yes! all the time, i frequently have one while out and about and always when at the hospital I do think it is more acceptable socailly for females, they may also think you have a developmental disaolity too and or both

 

[theQman]

I think gender certainly does play a role in it. Girls have an inherent ability to do cute things in public without anyone really batting an eye (lucky...). For example, in the past when I've been on long distance field trips, almost all the girls brought stuffed animals and pillow pets with them for the bus ride. Or on the occasions when my high school had pajama day tons of girls would show up in footed PJ's. It was just expected. Try doing that as a guy and you'll probably have a pretty bad day. Consider it a blessing.

 

[Chanch0]

Or on the occasions when my high school had pajama day tons of girls would show up in footed PJ's. It was just expected. Try doing that as a guy and you'll probably have a pretty bad day. Consider it a blessing.

Nah, I did that every pj day, I'd bring a teddy bear with me too. People just laughed and said "Niceeeeee." If you didn't treat it like a big deal, no one else would.

Women are able to get away with that more than men. It's just another societal thing that limits one gender. As a large 6'1" 260 lbs man, I just have to accept that someone like myself will have few chances to truly show off myself in a public setting. Really, I'm just limited to Halloween and being baby new year lol.

 

[theQman]

Nah, I did that every pj day, I'd bring a teddy bear with me too. People just laughed and said "Niceeeeee." If you didn't treat it like a big deal, no one else would.

Respect :thumbsup: Maybe my school was just particularly judgemental then lol. I remember lots of guys did wear footed pj's and the anti-preppy kids would always roll their eyes and mutter any number of gay slurs behind their backs. Whatever, I thought they were adorable :biggrin:

 

[DarkReaper]

these days it doesnt seem like that big a deal anymore. Society changes constantly for example same sex marriage being legalized so given enough time gender double-standards could be a thing of the past.

 

[Tyger]

The only comments I've ever (ever!) received were warm, playful. Someone saying how cute he IS. Where did I get him? A smile from an adult. Or a child asking if they could hold him. I feel that because I do not treat him as something secretive, people are more inclined to casually glance and dismiss this "oddity". Which is my goal. :blushie:

I think this is key for mastery over people's interaction. If you have something out of the ordinary happening, act like it is ordinary, and people will act like it too, most of the time. It is most likely because you keep it in the open. A little while ago, I decided to fly in a plane with my stuffed tiger on my lap, and people who might have noticed, never commented, luckily nobody sat next to me.

For better or worse, us girls can get away with a lot more than men when it comes to being cute or juvenile. Especially if we are young or have a certain aura. And even if we do trip someone's "that's different" alarm, people aren't as likely to make the leap of "that's different and dangerous", like they may with a 6 foot, 250 pound man displaying similar behavior. And that is unfair, but it's what we have to work with.

This is the other thing, I really thing this helps a lot. Unfortunately I don't have this luxury, being a guy, it is tough to get away with being an AB sometimes, and I'm a 6'6" 260 pound man, lol.

 

[Illinoise]

As a large 6'1" 260 lbs man, I just have to accept that someone like myself will have few chances to truly show off myself in a public setting.

As an AB, it wouldn't make any difference if you were much smaller. You still couldn't show your true self in a public setting.

But I do get the gist of what you're saying. At 5'9 and 140 lbs. I can probably get away with acting goofy and childlike with the kids in a way that a larger dude couldn't.
I had a co-worker (at my actual paying job) make the comment once that the kids probably don't really see me as a "man." I actually did have a preschool aged little guy ask me one time "Where's YOUR daddy?", as if we were equals. I guess he just saw me as a REALLY big kid. Thing is, he was right.

 

[tall2826]

I remember my parents catching me sleeping with a plushie when I was about 10 and they took it away because they said boys don't do that. I was immediately sad and it took me a while to fall asleep. My sister who it currently 19 still sleeps with her stuffed animals/plushies and my parents don't even care or bat an eye so, I think you are right based on my own personal experiences.

 

[Milko]

Yeah I think women can get away with it much more easily. For men it completely spits in the face ideas about masculinity. I've heard posts here and elsewhere of men just thinking it's cute when a woman has a pacifier etc. but some women just think it's creepy and pedophillic when a man does it.

 

[sallieemma28]

I remember my parents catching me sleeping with a plushie when I was about 10 and they took it away because they said boys don't do that. I was immediately sad and it took me a while to fall asleep. My sister who it currently 19 still sleeps with her stuffed animals/plushies and my parents don't even care or bat an eye so, I think you are right based on my own personal experiences.

I am so sorry that happened to you; it's not fair. I encouraged my sons to play and keep their childlike wonder for as long as possible. My 19yo son has a TON of stuffed animals in his room still, he just likes them and they bring him comfort. He works in a large chain grocery store and this past Easter he brought home a gigantic pink stuffed bunny (I mean this thing is like 4 feet long). It stays at the end of his bed and his cat loves to sleep on it. I would never, ever try to shame him out of having them. Everyone deserves plushies.

 

[sbmccue]

We had quite a discussion on this point in some of the AB forums back in the late 1980s. At that point, many guys were miffed that women could wear "baby soft" fragrances and footed sleepers without derisive comment, while men typically could not. While society generally permitted women to "act babyish," the same latitude wasn't extended to guys.

I remember two or three years ago coming out of my Manhattan apartment to see a young woman walking down the street in a Disney print vinyl romper. No one gave her a second glance except me! I still wouldn't have dared walk out onto Fifth Avenue in a onesie.

We've obviously come a long way in the past quarter of a century. I imagine it will take another decade or two before people will finally stop rendering judgments on how others run their lives.