I've been thinking of coming out to my parents.

[whisko]

the main point in this thread is so true - you don't want to know your parents' private habits, and they probably won't want to know yours. if your choice of underwear is not a common household topic in your family, why try to make it one?

stormtroper, your parents will probably not "eventually find out about you being a dl". in fact (stands on soapbox) it is impossible for anyone to notice you are a diaper lover!

each physical thing you can be is somewhere on a scale of obvious to invisible, and somewhere on a different scale of changeable to unchangeable. you won't ever get shorter and might be done getting taller, really probably won't change apparent sex (unless you really try), might change weight significantly with some effort, can change hair color with chemicals, and can dress in a different style all the time. all of those are obvious. your ability to exert yourself athletically is less visible, and if you had a disease it might not be visible at all unless special tests were done.

but you do not have a comic-strip thought bubble floating above your head that says "i'd rather be wearing a diaper" ;-) mental things are not noticeable. if you happened to be wearing one around your parents, and they noticed, they wouldn't know why unless you decided to tell them.

and considering all the previously-made points, you can tell them as little or as much about your underwear as you choose. (off of soapbox, finally)

 

[Kenn]

How would you feel if your parents told you about the details of their sex life, or if they told you what toys they like to use in the bedroom? Might you prefer that they kept this information to themselves?

I thought this same thing over lunch. "Son, let me tell you about the kinky things your mother and I do in the bedroom...." Eww! Your answer should be HELL no! They have no more business knowing your kinky side as you do theirs!

 

[giantguy99]

accepted: I answered your first question, I think. As for your second, I wasn't lying to them per se, but they have sometimes caught me stealing and using diapers when I was little until my preteens, so they might know already if something's up. The consequences: I very highly doubt they would disown me, but I think the worst that can happen is if they send me to a shrink. I'd probably be prepared to deal with him. I am a very respected member of the family, though, so I sincerely think that the consequences may be minimal, but probably not. I don't know for sure. Thanks for the links, btw. I'd probably need that later.

Sorry if I came off as harsh with that.I really do feel concern for you. It never occurred to me to use words that could describe your interactions between your parents and yourself that where nicer. I just had no better way of saying it to my knowledge.


At any rate if you try telling your parents, I would recommend that you not tell them (if at all) until after you have moved out. The damage if any will be minimized that way because then it will be your life not theirs at that point. You see if your parents act negatively to this they will have less power over you because you will no longer be living under their roof provided that it's necessary to tell them at all. Don't let anyone decide for you if you should come out though because that is ultimately your decision to make and no one else's. Even I will not disrespect your decision whatever it may be in that manner. Chances are possible the consequences could be minimal but they will be even more minimal if your not living under their roof anyways. Keep those links in mind because they can be applied to coming out with any significant other not just your parents in the future if it became necessary fyi.

If this somehow involves your sex life I would recommend that you at some point tell them about it tactfully (if at all as that should be your call and no one else's). They are your parents after all. If they really care about you and respect you they should be open-minded if not understanding of that. You see think about this. Picture yourself as a father with a child. Does it make you feel better that your child trusts you enough to inform you of things like that before they get hurt? This is not as damaging as say taking drugs or other risky behavior correct? Just make sure you present it as delicately as possible as this will most likely scare them(provided that you have a good reason to do so in the first place). Reassure them as much as possible every chance you get throughout that conversation that they did not make a mistake in raising you. Tell them the fact that nobody had any control over who and what you are and that this is not something they should be ashamed of. It will help them immensely to know this and calming them down at that moment can make a world of difference.


This is provided that you do decide to come out to them at all. It's still your choice to make so don't let anyone myself included encourage you or discourage you from making that decision as it is your decision and no one else's to make. Other then that never assume there are no happy endings to this as it is possible but keep in mind that there could very well be a bad ending to this as well, so be prepared accordingly.

 

[Draugr]

No.

Just, don't.

And you are not "coming out." Your kink life is not severely hampered by being unable to let others know. It can carry on exactly the same as it is now without negative effect.

Seriously, this is directed to everyone: stop calling it "coming out" and treating it like it's being gay, or transgender, or anything of that nature. It's a fetish and/or roleplaying. Sharing it with someone else isn't "coming out." You aren't being prevented from spending time with someone you love, or needing to explain changes that can't be hidden, because you haven't told your parents you're a diaper fetishist and/or ageplayer.

It's an ounce short of fetishistic voyeurism. You're forcibly involving someone else in your fetish without their consent. People outside the scene don't need or want to know unless they come to YOU with questions (i.e., they've seen something).

Your fetish is something you choose to engage in, and is entirely contained in your private life. If you tell someone without being prompted, you're just being a pervert. Nobody wants to know unsolicited information about your kinks. Especially your parents. They don't need to know, nor do they want to know.

There are no happy endings to this scenario. At best, you just create awkward distance between you and your parents.

Your parents are not going to "eventually find out," unless they are nosy perverts who root around in their adult offspring's belongings without their permission.

Sorry if the tone is overly harsh, but perhaps it'll be a bit of a wakeup call. This is NOT something you want to do.

 

[Deleted member 29386]

zipperless: I'm a Pentecostal Christian, associated with the Assemblies of God. We believe stuff like the doctrine of the Trinity, that the Bible's the absolute Word of God, the baptism in water and of the Holy Spirit, etc. Does that help?

Yes, that does help. That's a very conservative religion and I'm not sure your parents would be accepting to your confessions. It could result in some sort of spiritual cleansing with your reverend or something. I would think twice about telling them.

 

[Kenn]

Your fetish is something you choose to engage in, and is entirely contained in your private life. If you tell someone without being prompted, you're just being a pervert. Nobody wants to know unsolicited information about your kinks. Especially your parents. They don't need to know, nor do they want to know.

In today's vernacular it is called "TMI".

 

[BabyGirlMoo]

The sad thing is your parents will feel they failed at parenting what did they do wrong.
They wont look at you the same.
But your choice.

Sadly, so true. I'm finding this out, and it's not even for my little side, it's for having to go to a psychologist for depression. She actually even reccommended I not tell my parents everything we talk about, because there's just no way they'll ever totally understand.

So I kinda say what some other people are saying. Don't do it. It could really be bad.

Thanks everyone, for helping me out too, though. I wasn't really thinking about telling them, but the idea has passed through my mind, and you've made me realize that for my personal situation, it's something that will do much, much more harm than good. And, as foxkits said, almost definitely make them feel like they failed as parents.

 

[KittyninjaW]

:cuddle: I'd been there and done that, my grandmother is a Christian, and I am too, and she accepts it. To be honest I don't really know if she is conservative, but searsousy, I'd recommend praying about it to see if its a good idea, If it is god will let you know, but still I would recommend getting gods input first. still I'll pray for you and see if you get the result you want. here is a group hug from me and my shadow clones.:grouphug:

 

[LunaCat]

Welp. That is quite a bit of input. Thanks, guys. Now, let's see if I can respond to most, if not all of it.

Trevor: They are going to eventually find out about me being a DL, and I'd rather that be because I came out and not because they found me with diapers or me looking at this site or whatnot. In other words, I want to be honest with myself and them. But I do agree: maybe I should wait a little longer before I come out.

dprpants: Ok, to clarify, that's not exactly what I meant by 'conservative'. We're not the kind of geezer church that thinks electric guitars are satanic or whatnot, but we do believe that homosexuality is a sin. HOWEVER, we'd never shut them out or even give them unfair treatment just because they're gay. Maybe I have a better chance? Also, it actually took me several years to come to terms with both my Christianity and my ABDLism, and I've resolved (in my opinion) that they are compatible, as long as the latter takes a backseat to the former. I get this feeling that my being DL is a Chekhov's Gun of sorts, actually.

accepted: I answered your first question, I think. As for your second, I wasn't lying to them per se, but they have sometimes caught me stealing and using diapers when I was little until my preteens, so they might know already if something's up. The consequences: I very highly doubt they would disown me, but I think the worst that can happen is if they send me to a shrink. I'd probably be prepared to deal with him. I am a very respected member of the family, though, so I sincerely think that the consequences may be minimal, but probably not. I don't know for sure. Thanks for the links, btw. I'd probably need that later.

ozbub: Frankly, I do need the support of people I actually know as opposed to someone on the internet. And I think the only ones who can give that support are my parents. Since I live in a fairly small town, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that I'm the only ABDL member living there. But, like I said earlier, I'm probably going to tie up loose ends first before coming out. Still, though, I want to come out as smoothly and calmly as possible for the best possible outcome. Wish me luck. (Oh, wait...)

zipperless: I'm a Pentecostal Christian, associated with the Assemblies of God. We believe stuff like the doctrine of the Trinity, that the Bible's the absolute Word of God, the baptism in water and of the Holy Spirit, etc. Does that help?

Again, thanks for your input. I do hope to successfully get this off my chest someday.

Some random thoughts...

--Would you want your mother to tell you she likes it when your dad wears a leather thong? Do you feel that's something she should "be honest" about with you?

--Given the belief that homosexuality is a sin, I don't understand how a diaper fetish would not be considered a sin. Isn't being sexually aroused by a man made construction of plastic far more unnatural than loving someone who happens to be the same gender? Isn't that a far greater perversion of normality? Is this what you mean by accepted DL? It's a sin, but we all sin, so you're ok with it? I thought repentance was key in dealing with sin.

--It's a side issue, but I'd suggest you might want to reconsider your stances on remote relationships (internet/whatever). The intimacy of such relationships is really something you (and the people you interact with) define. With the internet (or whatever communication channel you prefer), you broaden your pool of people to form relationships with. I think that's something that would particularly helpful for you given the whole DL thing and your local environment in general.

You might want to do some introspection on the idea of "actually know". How you define it... what it's characteristics are... yadda yadda.

Just a thought.

--All this said, I don't get many of the reasons for "coming out" that people have (to people they aren't in a long term living arrangement with). The one I really get (and it seems it's something you value) is the exhaustion of hiding something all the time.

I'm not really sure how that relates to DL, but I guess that depends on what DL means to you. As an AB, there are a lot of things I consider lifestyle issues... so it's not comparable to say putting ones sex toys up. I have plushies... bottles... etc that I do not associate with sex. They're simply things I like, and it's irritating and tiresome to have to hide things I like.

--Anyway, whatever you decide, I wish you luck.

I myself am no longer a Christian, but I did grow up going to various churches of various denominations (pentecostal, charismatic, baptist, methodist, presbyterian, church of christ... the story of Christ always resonated with me), and in middle and high school I went to a conservative Christian school (southern Baptist).

My paternal grandfather is a minister. My father is an atheist. My mother is one of those new age-y self-professed Christians. One of my best friends (an internet relationship) is married to a methodist minister. I was a Christian for most of my life.

I say all of that so I can toss in my agreement with others suggesting at least that you really consider the negative possibilities that will result of you "coming out" to your parents. Given your desire for acceptance and your current position as a "respected member of the family", I think this will be a hard blow to you... at least if it does not end up in acceptance. I don't think you'll be satisfied if they don't ostracize you but still consider your interests sinful.

I would also agree you should test the waters. e.g. you may bring up that you've noticed online that a lot of self-professed Christians seem to be into BDSM and are having trouble reconciling that with their religious beliefs. Given the current state of pop culture with the whole 50 Shades of Grey thing, that shouldn't be that bizarre of a thing to discuss or bring up.

Then just explore that and note their stances and reaction. Consider the fact that your particular fetish is even more rare.

Good luck.

 

[CrinklesTheBunny]

To be honest, I would just wait until you move out. If you're this close to moving out and drop a bombshell like coming out to your conservative Christian parents, there could be consequences that you're not ready to deal with. Not telling them about your lifestyle isn't lying to them. Just like a lot of people that chose not to indulge others in conversation of very private matters such as sexual orientation. It's not lying. Some things are just better kept to yourself.

 

[srmousse]

OK, let me start by saying, I'm not fully in support of coming out to your parents... That said, I just have to put this out there. Telling your parents about DL is NOT. And I repeat NOT the same as your parents telling you about their sex life!! If you want to tell them you like to masturbate in your diaper, then sure, that's just weird, but telling them you like to wear is totally different!

Now, StormTrouper, I'm AG too! I took me a long time to come to grips with DL vs God. I'm good now. Part of that is need (I have bladder issues), part is a better understanding of grace and what actually is sin vs what we think/others say is sin. Key example, I used to believe Homosexuals were sinners, period. Now, I know we are all sinners and homosexuality, at the heart, is no different than promiscuous sex.

That said, I have had lots of experience with judgment within our denomination and church in general. It can be tuff. You know your parents better than anyone. First thing you need to ask is how loving and accepting are they. If you don't know, coming out is a bad idea. Second, you need to be ready to answer questions about why and why not just stop. Third, unless you've been amazingly careful, and even then, they honestly probably already know....

I'd be willing to bet money, that for most of us, our parents almost certainly know at least something. Looking back, I wish I had told my parents. Knowing what I know now, they would have been supportive, especially since some of my wearing stemmed from stress related accidents at night. Finals week in high-school almost always resulted in bed wetting. So I would buy pull-ups that didn't fit just to deal. Had I talked to them, They would have taken care of me and I could have worn real diapers and been happy and actually protected. Mind you, I had real issues at times, so that's a bit different. But even when that wasn't the issue, I still liked to wear...

So, why am I so confident about our parents knowing? Loving parents are nosy parents! At least nosy enough to make sure their kids are OK and safe.

Just this year, I talked with my dad about my current bladder problems and asked if he knew anything about me and wearing diapers growing up. They totally did... And I was very good at hiding them... Not good enough, lol. He said they knew I had occasional problems but didn't want to embarrass me. And that they also knew I sometimes wore because I liked it. They saw my Internet history and my stash of diapers and pics and whatnot.

I am not saying you should or shouldn't come out, just telling you to make sure you understand your parents in general, and that while my issues were partly medical related, I still wish I had told my parents. At least then I would have had someone in my corner to help me navigate.

 

[Kenn]

Telling your parents about DL is NOT. And I repeat NOT the same as your parents telling you about their sex life!!

It could be very well (and most likely be) perceived that way.

The fact that the OP is moving out means that if he has not already been caught, that he will never will be. If he has already been caught, it has been a non-issue like yours. If not, there is nothing to be gained. Let sleeping dogs lie.

 

[CrinklesTheBunny]

I am against "coming out" to anyone. As much as we would like to believe different, wanting to wear diapers is seen as abnormal. The immediate responses would be perversion or mental illness. You will never be able to convince everyone who could ever find out otherwise.

Personally, I tried once to explain it to my father several years ago and failed miserably. Thanks to my age at the time, I was able to mend that situation by convincing him it was just a passing thought.

That said, if you feel that you must tell them, do a little preparation first. Get your thoughts in order and put it in writing what you feel and want.

- Why do you want to wear diapers/act like a baby?
- When do you do it or would like to do it?
- How will it affect your life, or more importantly how will it not affect it?
- What do you expect from others?
- Is it sexual, or how is it not?
- How do you expect to handle others finding out? (Your excuse)

I did basically the same thing about a month or so ago when I was finally able to come to terms with what I want. It will certainly help you to explain it.

Now approach your parents with a little tact. In your case, stress that this is not an issue with them or with god, but with yourself. Admit to them that you know it is "abnormal" and that you may need help. Be honest and tell them everything you have told us, that you wanted them to know and did not want to lie and hide it. Try to avoid talking about having worn before or any sneaking you may have done, but do not lie if asked directly.

Finally, prepare for the worst. This discussion may be the last you and your parents have for a long time. Despite how you think they would or should react, parents have a habit of going overboard when their children are involved. I would say the best case scenario is that they quietly accept it, but want no part in it. Wanting you to see a therapist would be a close second.

First off, when you convinced your father it was just a passing thought, you were lying to yourself. There's nothing worse than lying to yourself about who you are. Secondly, I would say not coming to anyone is wrong too. I have a few friends and other that knkw about me being an adult baby. They were very understanding and loving. It's who you choose to tell is a major factor. Also choosing the right time to explain it to people is key too. Trying to explain it when you get caught diapering, or if your stash of diapers and baby stuff get discovered, is not the right to discuss about it. Tensions are too high at that particular moment. It's best to just sit down and have a private discussion.

 

[RDBrony]

I would just like to add to what others have already said. I would advise against telling your parents about this, especially as you're so close to moving out on your own. There is just no way to guarantee how your parents will react to this, and once it's out in the open, you can't take it back. It is a bit unfortunate that being a DL, has to garner negative reactions as often as it does, especially from family. It doesn't harm anyone, and there are far worse things a person could be into, but unfortunately more often then not, it's still not met with positive reactions.

Now, I'm not trying to paint a doom and gloom picture here, there is always that chance they could be okay with it, I just want you to be prepared for them to not be at all accepting of this. I would also say if you do choose to say anything, do it slowly, drop hints here and there, and break the ice as it were, it could help to soften the blow when you do tell them. It might also help you to gauge how they will react to it.

 

[Exploration]

And you are not "coming out." Your kink life is not severely hampered by being unable to let others know. It can carry on exactly the same as it is now without negative effect.

Seriously, this is directed to everyone: stop calling it "coming out" and treating it like it's being gay, or transgender, or anything of that nature. It's a fetish and/or roleplaying. Sharing it with someone else isn't "coming out." You aren't being prevented from spending time with someone you love, or needing to explain changes that can't be hidden, because you haven't told your parents you're a diaper fetishist and/or ageplayer.

It's an ounce short of fetishistic voyeurism. You're forcibly involving someone else in your fetish without their consent. People outside the scene don't need or want to know unless they come to YOU with questions (i.e., they've seen something).

Your fetish is something you choose to engage in, and is entirely contained in your private life. If you tell someone without being prompted, you're just being a pervert. Nobody wants to know unsolicited information about your kinks. Especially your parents. They don't need to know, nor do they want to know.

I disagree. But before I go further, a disclaimer: I do not have much experience in the gay, transgender, or "anything of that nature" realm(s). I don't know exactly what is meant by "coming out". I thought this meant telling someone you trusted something very personal which was taboo or otherwise difficult to discuss for some reason.

With that said: What would you recommend calling this? How is telling my parents that a part of my life revolves around being interested in men different from telling them that a part of my life revolves around being interested in diapers? (Yes, I know men are people and diapers are things but both preferences are somehow wrapped up in my identity.) People assume I am interested in women and not interested in diapers. Letting them know I'm different is difficult -- socially strenuous, even to a breaking point! -- but it also allows me to be myself and improves the relationships I can have with others.

My life is severely hampered because I can't stand the stress of being different and knowing that my preferences are seen as wrong, gross, unacceptable, deviant, etc... to others. I accept myself but in order to maintain the relationships I have, I have to behave differently. This does not mean I have to toss my family and friends out the window and find like-minded people. It means I need to have some hard conversations and try to iron out compromises.

The "changes" came very early in my life and I have been hiding them ever since. Just because they are emotional changes (differences) and not physical ones doesn't make them less important. Isn't this why we have ADISC? A "support community"? Why would we need such a place? Why would there be so many people wanting to talk about who they are and how they feel if those conversations were meant to be internalized or are only allowed under particular circumstances?

For me, being interested in diapers isn't a choice. It just... is. Sure, if I don't tell my parents I'm gay, they might never find out... until I want them to meet my boyfriend! If I don't tell them I'm in diapers, they might never find out... until that day something happens that makes it obvious. (I can come up with MANY scenarios, living with parents or otherwise. Don't tell me it won't happen!) Why is it wrong for me to want my parents to know something about me? Yes, they might not like it... but it's me. It's the way I am. (Or, it's what I do.) And they're going to find out at some point or my relationship with them is going to suffer.

Also, maybe this isn't a sexual thing. Again, what would you call telling someone about this facet of your life? Am I forcing someone to become involved in my love of coffee (instead of tea) or pens (instead of pencils)? The people who are close to me know these things and if they didn't, I would want to tell them if only to prevent my being given tea or a pencil (getting set up on a date with a girl or being asked to use the toilet ).

As someone who has told a parent, it was very uncomfortable. But, I hadn't taken enough time to understand myself beforehand. I tried to explain, they tried to understand and, at the end of the day, we were both at a loss. But, the quality of time I spend with my parent is improved -- they know something that very few people know and they still love me. I can't think of many parents who would hate their children for being a little different. Perhaps they would not be accepting (mine was not accepting) but acceptance and love can be very different -- I suspect you need only ask a parent who is baffled by their gay child to understand.

I generally agree that people don't want to know about your sex-life. But where is the line between sex-life and regular-life? And where is the line between need-to-know and want-to-tell?
---------
To the OP (StormTroper) -- Before you tell your parents, consider what they will think/feel afterward. Consider your motivation for telling them. Do they need to know or do you just want to get it off your chest? (There is a community here for expressing yourself and your parents can't un-know whatever you tell them.) The proverbial closet, as it were, only gets bigger when you leave home. (Friends, roommates, coworkers, etc...) As far as wearing "discreetly" after you tell your folks -- all discretion goes away -- even if they pretend they don't know what's going on... Whether they are accepting or not, a glimpse or package will only remind them what you're wearing.

As a fellow Christian, I recommend prayer. Talk to God about what's going on in your life. He usually provides interesting answers.

 

[giantguy99]

I disagree. But before I go further, a disclaimer: I do not have much experience in the gay, transgender, or "anything of that nature" realm(s). I don't know exactly what is meant by "coming out". I thought this meant telling someone you trusted something very personal which was taboo or otherwise difficult to discuss for some reason.

With that said: What would you recommend calling this? How is telling my parents that a part of my life revolves around being interested in men different from telling them that a part of my life revolves around being interested in diapers? (Yes, I know men are people and diapers are things but both preferences are somehow wrapped up in my identity.) People assume I am interested in women and not interested in diapers. Letting them know I'm different is difficult -- socially strenuous, even to a breaking point! -- but it also allows me to be myself and improves the relationships I can have with others.

My life is severely hampered because I can't stand the stress of being different and knowing that my preferences are seen as wrong, gross, unacceptable, deviant, etc... to others. I accept myself but in order to maintain the relationships I have, I have to behave differently. This does not mean I have to toss my family and friends out the window and find like-minded people. It means I need to have some hard conversations and try to iron out compromises.

The "changes" came very early in my life and I have been hiding them ever since. Just because they are emotional changes (differences) and not physical ones doesn't make them less important. Isn't this why we have ADISC? A "support community"? Why would we need such a place? Why would there be so many people wanting to talk about who they are and how they feel if those conversations were meant to be internalized or are only allowed under particular circumstances?

For me, being interested in diapers isn't a choice. It just... is. Sure, if I don't tell my parents I'm gay, they might never find out... until I want them to meet my boyfriend! If I don't tell them I'm in diapers, they might never find out... until that day something happens that makes it obvious. (I can come up with MANY scenarios, living with parents or otherwise. Don't tell me it won't happen!) Why is it wrong for me to want my parents to know something about me? Yes, they might not like it... but it's me. It's the way I am. (Or, it's what I do.) And they're going to find out at some point or my relationship with them is going to suffer.

Also, maybe this isn't a sexual thing. Again, what would you call telling someone about this facet of your life? Am I forcing someone to become involved in my love of coffee (instead of tea) or pens (instead of pencils)? The people who are close to me know these things and if they didn't, I would want to tell them if only to prevent my being given tea or a pencil (getting set up on a date with a girl or being asked to use the toilet ).

As someone who has told a parent, it was very uncomfortable. But, I hadn't taken enough time to understand myself beforehand. I tried to explain, they tried to understand and, at the end of the day, we were both at a loss. But, the quality of time I spend with my parent is improved -- they know something that very few people know and they still love me. I can't think of many parents who would hate their children for being a little different. Perhaps they would not be accepting (mine was not accepting) but acceptance and love can be very different -- I suspect you need only ask a parent who is baffled by their gay child to understand.

I generally agree that people don't want to know about your sex-life. But where is the line between sex-life and regular-life? And where is the line between need-to-know and want-to-tell?
---------
To the OP (StormTroper) -- Before you tell your parents, consider what they will think/feel afterward. Consider your motivation for telling them. Do they need to know or do you just want to get it off your chest? (There is a community here for expressing yourself and your parents can't un-know whatever you tell them.) The proverbial closet, as it were, only gets bigger when you leave home. (Friends, roommates, coworkers, etc...) As far as wearing "discreetly" after you tell your folks -- all discretion goes away -- even if they pretend they don't know what's going on... Whether they are accepting or not, a glimpse or package will only remind them what you're wearing.

As a fellow Christian, I recommend prayer. Talk to God about what's going on in your life. He usually provides interesting answers.

I agree. For a individual in any given situation to be honest with those around them, that individual must first be honest with themselves. I am not implying someone here is not being honest with themselves because based upon the level of maturity I am seeing here (all the posts in general I mean not just this one) nothing can be further from the truth for people either for or against telling one's parents. The truth of the matter is there is no one right answer for each and everyone one of us as there are to many dynamic individual situations for any one of us to know it all. I think it should be left to the OP to decide ultimately. This is why I suggested to the OP to tell their parents but only after the OP moves out to reduce the stress and strain all of them will certainly feel. There are actually good reasons to tell one's parents but I suspect the timing would be bad otherwise actually in this specific case while living under their own roof. However for the OP to never tell their parents I think would be a bad idea in the long run.

- - - Updated - - -

No.

Just, don't.

And you are not "coming out." Your kink life is not severely hampered by being unable to let others know. It can carry on exactly the same as it is now without negative effect.

Seriously, this is directed to everyone: stop calling it "coming out" and treating it like it's being gay, or transgender, or anything of that nature. It's a fetish and/or roleplaying. Sharing it with someone else isn't "coming out." You aren't being prevented from spending time with someone you love, or needing to explain changes that can't be hidden, because you haven't told your parents you're a diaper fetishist and/or ageplayer.

It's an ounce short of fetishistic voyeurism. You're forcibly involving someone else in your fetish without their consent. People outside the scene don't need or want to know unless they come to YOU with questions (i.e., they've seen something).

Your fetish is something you choose to engage in, and is entirely contained in your private life. If you tell someone without being prompted, you're just being a pervert. Nobody wants to know unsolicited information about your kinks. Especially your parents. They don't need to know, nor do they want to know.

There are no happy endings to this scenario. At best, you just create awkward distance between you and your parents.

Your parents are not going to "eventually find out," unless they are nosy perverts who root around in their adult offspring's belongings without their permission.

Sorry if the tone is overly harsh, but perhaps it'll be a bit of a wakeup call. This is NOT something you want to do.

What people don't want to hear about is that being a AB/DL is similiar to being gay but only in one particular instance. It's a part of who and what that person is. It's never going to stop and it's never going to go away even if the person wants it to or not. That is the only similarity I see between between being gay or being AB/DL. But it is in fact a important comparison point regardless. People who are AB's like myself never choose to be AB's or DL's. It's not easy on us because of the social implications involved. If that where not the case then why does even a support site like ADISC even need to exist? It's not perverted to want to have a healthy mindset about being different. This is why telling one's parents can be a good idea. Even if the parents don't accept it then the individual should know that they should not take their views seriously any more because the parents have proven themselves to be unable to tolerate the truth anyways. This can be a healthy thing to do even if the OP is never totally allowed to be themselves.

 

[CrinklesTheBunny]

Being AB/DL is and isn't part of who a person is. Some people purely do it to try to fit into a certain group. In that case, it's not necessarily defined as a part of who someone is, but rather them trying to fit in.

 

[giantguy99]

Being AB/DL is and isn't part of who a person is. Some people purely do it to try to fit into a certain group. In that case, it's not necessarily defined as a part of who someone is, but rather them trying to fit in.

With all due respect but people don't risk the social stigma that comes with being a AB/DL just to fit in. We are a marginalized minority at best if not outright ostracized or worse. If that where not the case then coming out to people depending on the circumstances would always be a good idea. I said earlier sometimes it's a good idea. But there are a lot of variables that no one person can know that makes the notion a good or bad idea in any given situation. This is why I only made recommendations to the OP because not one of us can know the situation as well as srmousse.

 

[Kobalt]

I highly recommend you don't tell them about anything of this nature, its usually a gamble whether they'll be accepting of it, and the fact that they are conservative Christians makes it even riskier. I know the feeling of wanting to tell your parents/loved ones, but in my eyes it isn't worth it.

 

[Solemn]

Conservative Christians and your dad is a pastor, you say? Yeah, no. I spent the second half of my childhood with hardcore Baptists. Want my advice? Run. There's no way those people are going to be understanding. They're going to think worse of you for it. Alternative sexuality or alternative maturity is taboo to them. Don't ask, don't tell, don't expect them to be progressive.