me (current) three favorite:
me: "oh, did you see the news?"
them: "no, what happened?"
me: "an actor was stabbed. Reese... Reese… Reese whats-her-name?"
them: "Witherspoon?"
me: "no, with a knife!"
me: "oof i also read this in the news today. they had an obituary for an Italian chef today."
them: *no*
me: "he pasta-way!"
them: "lion, I’m gonna kill you."
me: "hehe you know what's worse? he was so poor when he died that he didn't even have a penne to his name!"
me: "ok i had one more joke i was gonna say. i made it up! it was about juice drinks, and it was really funny, but i can't unfortunately can't seem to remember the punch line…"
*mic drop*