I want to hear everyone's best jokes they can recall! No chickens crossing roads...Or funny stories!

[Zeke]

No kidding! I have 3 hens, a pheasant, a pigeon, and, um a human roommate.

What? No partridge in a pear tree?

 

[Fawkesnight]

With all the crap that they have been through it's amazing that they are still together.





No, not a celebrity couple... Your butt cheaks.

 

[jasonm03]

Here’s an old one my father used to tell when I was young

when is a nut not a nut?



when it’s a wall
Wall nut get it

 

[jasonm03]

You said no chicken crossing the road joke so here’s another from dear old dad

dad) why did the father cross the road
Son) I don’t know
Dad) to get away from you

 

[AJFan2020]

I heard this one in an Arthur episode (but I forget which one):

”Why is six afraid of seven?” ”Because seven ate nine.”

 

[Kirisin]

There is this kid standing on a corner tossing a bottle up in the air. A priest walks by. Priest pastors evangelist can tell what anything is by looking at it. He says to himself that's Acid. He walks up to the kid and says. Kid ill give you this bottle for that bottle. Kid says what's in that bottle? Priest says this is holy water. If you rub this on a women's stomach she will pass a baby. Kid says ah he'll that's nothing. If you rub this on a cats ass it will pass a motorcycle.

 

[Kirisin]

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiots house

knock knock

who’s there?

The chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the armadillo it could be done.

 

[Diaperman95]

I was going to ask if having a brain dead leader in charge of the free world counts as a joke? But I guess you said best joke not the sickest joke!.. and it is certainly past the point of any thing humors at this point.

I am far to scared of this reality we live in to see anything funny about it.

 

[Sissyleslie]

Never cross a boomerang with a ghost - it will only come back to haunt you.