I Don't Think We're As Rare As We Think

PetPuppyAlex

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If this is in the wrong place, my fault.

I had the thought today that we're not as rare as we think. This past year began with pangs of regret. I've come to the realization that many people in my social circle are aware of my choice to wear diapers and my identity as a "little" (even though I have my own personal qualms with that definition of myself). At first, that dawning on me was hard. I felt ostracized -- like it would follow me for the rest of my life as long as I remain in the area.

At one point, I was a relatively active presence in the music scene and the sheer number of people who are aware of me weighed on me -- as if it was a matter of time before I gained a little popularity and then someone would come for me from the rafters and it would be all over social media that I enjoy a different kind of underwear and lifestyle.

It hasn't been all bad, though! Or even bad at all! Those anxieties eventually fade (and they did) as you go about your life and realize you're gonna spend the majority of your life not interacting with the people you grew up with (usually). What I was left with is the realization that, because I was so open, I actually accidentally became kind of a safe space for many ABDL/Littles in my area. We didn't all become fast friends or start having playdates (this is something I prefer to share with a partner because the lines between sexual and non-sexual for me are a little thin) but we were friends before and they came forward in a gesture of trust and understanding that I was like them.

It has been several, several people. I may not be able to attend high school reunions or feel safe developing my music career too close to home.. but what I've unlocked in exchange feels like a solid understanding of the sheer amount of littles/ABs/Pups/etc that are out there. I chose to be open about my things and put myself in harm's way to be a beacon for people who were like me and I've realized I can throw a rock and hit a little/ab/pup/something. That's probably true around every major city, but I've grown up seeing so much discourse on this website and others.

When I was a kid it was estimated that there were tens of thousands of us. Maybe a hundred thousand! Then when I was older it felt like I was meeting a lot of people like me for it to be such a small number. It's been a long journey since I was a child pre-ADISC, pre-TBDL.org, pre-all this I know now, thinking I must be the only person on the planet like this. What I *do* know now, though, is that there are *far* more of us than we think there are. It's more than tens or hundreds of thousands. It's more than a million. You may not know it or feel like This Thing of Ours is very popular. I know it feels very out there... but, if you live in or near a major city, I want you to know you can throw a rock and hit someone like you. I've extracted many from the woodwork and the headcount of just "littles" alone is simply impressive. If you flip a coin and say 51% of littles wear diapers, that means I've likely met 10-20 AB/DLs in just my immediate area.

I know we're not alone and we have this beautiful community.. I'm thankful that it's tight-knit and insulated, and I don't want us to be mainstream, but I think I've seen enough evidence that "at least" littles are actually pretty common. And if half of them wear diapers by a rule of thumb, that still puts ABDLs in the "relatively common" camp. I think we've graduated from being a completely obscure, shadowy internet niche to being a quiet but relatively common subculture/kink. I know newer/younger littles/ABDLs might feel like it was always like that because they've had the internet as it is now for their whole lives... but us "elder millennials" and beyond who grew up with like, three whole websites confirming our existence for the first 20 years of the internet can appreciate this observation/development.
 

ARBBB2

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If this is in the wrong place, my fault.

I had the thought today that we're not as rare as we think. This past year began with pangs of regret. I've come to the realization that many people in my social circle are aware of my choice to wear diapers and my identity as a "little" (even though I have my own personal qualms with that definition of myself). At first, that dawning on me was hard. I felt ostracized -- like it would follow me for the rest of my life as long as I remain in the area.

At one point, I was a relatively active presence in the music scene and the sheer number of people who are aware of me weighed on me -- as if it was a matter of time before I gained a little popularity and then someone would come for me from the rafters and it would be all over social media that I enjoy a different kind of underwear and lifestyle.

It hasn't been all bad, though! Or even bad at all! Those anxieties eventually fade (and they did) as you go about your life and realize you're gonna spend the majority of your life not interacting with the people you grew up with (usually). What I was left with is the realization that, because I was so open, I actually accidentally became kind of a safe space for many ABDL/Littles in my area. We didn't all become fast friends or start having playdates (this is something I prefer to share with a partner because the lines between sexual and non-sexual for me are a little thin) but we were friends before and they came forward in a gesture of trust and understanding that I was like them.

It has been several, several people. I may not be able to attend high school reunions or feel safe developing my music career too close to home.. but what I've unlocked in exchange feels like a solid understanding of the sheer amount of littles/ABs/Pups/etc that are out there. I chose to be open about my things and put myself in harm's way to be a beacon for people who were like me and I've realized I can throw a rock and hit a little/ab/pup/something. That's probably true around every major city, but I've grown up seeing so much discourse on this website and others.

When I was a kid it was estimated that there were tens of thousands of us. Maybe a hundred thousand! Then when I was older it felt like I was meeting a lot of people like me for it to be such a small number. It's been a long journey since I was a child pre-ADISC, pre-TBDL.org, pre-all this I know now, thinking I must be the only person on the planet like this. What I *do* know now, though, is that there are *far* more of us than we think there are. It's more than tens or hundreds of thousands. It's more than a million. You may not know it or feel like This Thing of Ours is very popular. I know it feels very out there... but, if you live in or near a major city, I want you to know you can throw a rock and hit someone like you. I've extracted many from the woodwork and the headcount of just "littles" alone is simply impressive. If you flip a coin and say 51% of littles wear diapers, that means I've likely met 10-20 AB/DLs in just my immediate area.

I know we're not alone and we have this beautiful community.. I'm thankful that it's tight-knit and insulated, and I don't want us to be mainstream, but I think I've seen enough evidence that "at least" littles are actually pretty common. And if half of them wear diapers by a rule of thumb, that still puts ABDLs in the "relatively common" camp. I think we've graduated from being a completely obscure, shadowy internet niche to being a quiet but relatively common subculture/kink. I know newer/younger littles/ABDLs might feel like it was always like that because they've had the internet as it is now for their whole lives... but us "elder millennials" and beyond who grew up with like, three whole websites confirming our existence for the first 20 years of the internet can appreciate this observation/development.
I agree, thanks for putting down your thoughts and feelings for all to share!!!! Well said!
 

ChristopherRichard

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Yet again you speak wise words, sorry but the mutual appreciation thing... get OUT of my head🥴🥴
The stat used to be (90's thinking) ABDL as a general term for ALL of us with a similar thing, was 1 in 1000. Scale that up to a population of 7.7billion and the result doesn't even come close to the current figure of adult nappies being produced and used for medical purposes, let alone those specifically produced for our 'thing' such as ABDL. That's just nappies. If all products produced for the actual real baby/toddler population such as food, formula, toys, clothes etc, again, where/who is buying the 18% excess that is being churned out above and beyond replacements for what the little b*gg**s manage to break. And that's with a decreasing birth rate in the western world.
What about Japan and their increased sales in baby/toddler items (such as above) and yet a very worrying almost full stop of population growth? The adult nappies in Japan have an obvious increasing outlet due to the now ageing population, but again, the sale of the generic white 'hospital' adult nappy is almost matched by the sale of nursery print ABDL nappies.
That's just Japan........
I would be prepared to think that we should be looking at 100 in a 1000 at least with some kind of little/babyfur/AB/DL thing going on, weather they accept themselves or not, and they have all partaken in a nappy/roleplay/wishful thinking at least once.
The force is strong with this one OB1,
How does the math work regards LGBTQ?
I'm on it like a frilly bonnet.......
 

sport1

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When I 1st started on my journey with bed wetting wondered if there were other adults with same problem.I totally agree with opening statement.
 

PetPuppyAlex

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I think his methodology is a solid estimate for the 90s to the early 2000s, but I think from the '10s to the '20s that number may be halved now. Perhaps less the closer you get to population centers. I'd venture that places like the PNW and NE (relatively high ABDL pop. compared to rest of country) were even as low as 1 in 250, at least as far as Littles go, not pure ABDLs. But again! you half that number to get a rough estimate of the diaper-wearers and it's still 1 in 500. But that does sound high. I'd want to say that the denominator probably is somewhere between 500-1000 and dropping. It was probably closer to 1/1000 and less before the information explosion. Enfant Mel's estimate of 1 in 1000 was from the early 90's, well before the internet was as huge and ubiquitous as it is now. '99 (when this link was published) was still "early internet times" -- even as the Dotcom revolution was picking up speed. We've had at least 2 decades of what we now know as the modern internet SINCE those figures. Websites like fetlife and kink groups on the more popular FB, kink art and media on sites like Tumblr. Dating sites that include kinks as filters.. There's been 20 years of that since this link was published. I wouldn't be surprised if the number was closer to 1 in 500. And I'd throw a few dollars on the "over" for a safe bet.
 

ChristopherRichard

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As PetPuppyAlex says, the stats shown (and most quoted) are out by 20 odd years. I started looking at ABDL related topics and sites back in the late 90's so I've been keeping a low tab on what I can work out simply from my own obs.
As part of this I'm trying to collate academic and study works on the subject. So far this has lead to the simple fact that there are too many closely related themes to get an accurate fix on population as a whole.
Take economics including population growth/decline and specific manufacturing into account and it gets to be a big catch all net.
Without any specific pigeonholing any survey or study would become a nonsense, but, no one and I do mean NO ONE is going to even start to be interested academically when the subject matter is still so strongly (and wrongly) linked with paraphilia's and pedophilia. Yes for some it's a sexual thing and yes others might misuse it for awful reasons, but unfortunately we (AB/DL/FURBIES/LITTLES ETC) are all plain dysfunctional and abhorrent in the eyes of science...... at the moment.
There are currently only two types of literature on the subject: all the above classed as a type of paraphilia. Second: some good commentary, but more often mediocre soft porn and fantasy about being one of us.
If only Einstein were an out and proud AB....
Look at Alan Turing, ended up a suicide after being caught simply loving being with another man, how odd or expected would that be now? It was only 50 years ago, they even tried chemical castration on him!! In living memory. An internationally recognised genius.
It would the same for us at this moment in time.
 

SparkleBunny

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I think it only seems like this because 1. Kink, in general, is becoming popular or well known. 2. Doing child-like things is becoming popular as well. These still face stigma even though they are getting more common year by year it seems. I think we need to remember that when it comes to child-like things people might be reliving childhood for the most part. Anything else besides that could be ABDL, DDLG, etc. or just people who are kidults (or in my case I'm both of those things). I would say we could possibly be more understood by this, but we'll still face a stigma.
 

BigKid25

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As PetPuppyAlex says, the stats shown (and most quoted) are out by 20 odd years. I started looking at ABDL related topics and sites back in the late 90's so I've been keeping a low tab on what I can work out simply from my own obs.
As part of this I'm trying to collate academic and study works on the subject. So far this has lead to the simple fact that there are too many closely related themes to get an accurate fix on population as a whole.
Take economics including population growth/decline and specific manufacturing into account and it gets to be a big catch all net.
Without any specific pigeonholing any survey or study would become a nonsense, but, no one and I do mean NO ONE is going to even start to be interested academically when the subject matter is still so strongly (and wrongly) linked with paraphilia's and pedophilia. Yes for some it's a sexual thing and yes others might misuse it for awful reasons, but unfortunately we (AB/DL/FURBIES/LITTLES ETC) are all plain dysfunctional and abhorrent in the eyes of science...... at the moment.
There are currently only two types of literature on the subject: all the above classed as a type of paraphilia. Second: some good commentary, but more often mediocre soft porn and fantasy about being one of us.
If only Einstein were an out and proud AB....
Look at Alan Turing, ended up a suicide after being caught simply loving being with another man, how odd or expected would that be now? It was only 50 years ago, they even tried chemical castration on him!! In living memory. An internationally recognised genius.
It would the same for us at this moment in time.

I certainly agree with many of these well articulated and thought out points, though the comment regarding our supposed association with pedophilia as a deterrent to research may be reaching a bit.

The Occams Razor approach would consider the strong probability that if people aren't involved in ABDL lifestyle, then they don't really care about us beyond some mild amusement or confusion. Scientific studies require a significant allocation of resources and time dedicated to having an ultimate end goal. Pedophilia on the other hand is pretty widely studied by psychologists precisely due to its abhorrent reputation and horrific side effects on people. It's also unsettingly prevalent and garners enough of a public interest to have it studied so it can be curbed and (ideally) stopped.

Now if you look at the comparative impact of ABDL on people who are not ABDL, it makes sense why a researcher would think. "Yeah... not necessarily worth my time..." The researchers would need to have a vested interest in understanding infantilism and I wholeheartedly believe that in the grand scheme of things the average person flat out doesn't care about how we see ourselves or show up in society. Perhaps there are quite a few of us hiding in plain sight and perhaps more studies would breed an openness to live our lives more fully, but it's not like ABDLism as a driving cultural force has had any comparatively remarkable impact on the lives of vanilla citizens. Whether positive or negative.

We're just people with unique interests that aren't hurting anyone. Hard to convince people who aren't us to study us, and there'd have to be a large enough population to statistically represent ABDL culture in science if we want more skin in the game.



*edit* Had to clarify which point in particular I disagree with. I applaud almost all of the other points in this comment.
 
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BigKid25

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I think it only seems like this because 1. Kink, in general, is becoming popular or well known. 2. Doing child-like things is becoming popular as well. These still face stigma even though they are getting more common year by year it seems. I think we need to remember that when it comes to child-like things people might be reliving childhood for the most part. Anything else besides that could be ABDL, DDLG, etc. or just people who are kidults (or in my case I'm both of those things). I would say we could possibly be more understood by this, but we'll still face a stigma.

I really agree with this observational approach. I think it's very presumptuous to merge nostalgicly pining for childhood with being ABDL. Seems quite a bit reaching and overly optimistic instead of considering the fact that we can find common ground with vanilla people without trying to convince ourselves they have to be closeted ABDL.
 

SparkleBunny

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I really agree with this observational approach. I think it's very presumptuous to merge nostalgicly pining for childhood with being ABDL. Seems quite a bit reaching and overly optimistic instead of considering the fact that we can find common ground with vanilla people without trying to convince ourselves they have to be closeted ABDL.
I think I also forgot to mention the biggest thing about ABDL+ is that it is a part of someone's identity (since it's considered kink). While liking child-like stuff is simply just an interest.
 

ChristopherRichard

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I certainly agree with many of these well articulated and thought out points, though the comment regarding our supposed association with pedophilia as a deterrent to research may be reaching a bit.

The Occams Razor approach would consider the strong probability that if people aren't involved in ABDL lifestyle, then they don't really care about us beyond some mild amusement or confusion. Scientific studies require a significant allocation of resources and time dedicated to having an ultimate end goal. Pedophilia on the other hand is pretty widely studied by psychologists precisely due to its abhorrent reputation and horrific side effects on people. It's also unsettingly prevalent and garners enough of a public interest to have it studied so it can be curbed and (ideally) stopped.

Now if you look at the comparative impact of ABDL on people who are not ABDL, it makes sense why a researcher would think. "Yeah... not necessarily worth my time..." The researchers would need to have a vested interest in understanding infantilism and I wholeheartedly believe that in the grand scheme of things the average person flat out doesn't care about how we see ourselves or show up in society. Perhaps there are quite a few of us hiding in plain sight and perhaps more studies would breed an openness to live our lives more fully, but it's not like ABDLism as a driving cultural force has had any comparatively remarkable impact on the lives of vanilla citizens. Whether positive or negative.

We're just people with unique interests that aren't hurting anyone. Hard to convince people who aren't us to study us, and there'd have to be a large enough population to statistically represent ABDL culture in science if we want more skin in the game.



*edit* Had to clarify which point in particular I disagree with. I applaud almost all of the other points in this comment.
A good and well thought out piece, but I feel the need to defend my comments re associated philias.
So far, in 14 studies out of 21 I've read (and I have more) the initial and outward subject has been either paraphilia or pedophilia, it soon becomes obvious that the academic who published has been reading all the other papers and are blinkered into believing the same basic and plain wrong belief that all infantile regressive behaviour is purely sexual in nature (the initiator) and almost always connected to some kind of disorder (the drive to escalate).
The best I have found so far to describe many but no way near all of us is as having a regressive dissociative disorder, in which some of us genuinely have a seperate little+ personality. But, this then gets strongly associated with schizophrenia which it simply is not.
My point is there does not seem to be an academic out there in A, the right field, or B, with the ability to seriously look beyond what has gone before, rather than just put THEIR spin on it to get publishing cudos.
For my 2p worth, I DO believe there's sufficient population, now, and also due to other very well observed comments regards childlike behaviour phenomenon, for someone to pick up an unbiased baton and run with something original and well thought out and actually about the subject
Grrrr grrrr..... I'll calm down now, relax and just let go, there that's better, I now need my nappy changing🤣🤣🤣🥴🥴🥴
 

ChocChip

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It’s a very broad spectrum, and everyone will have their own view as to whether they regard it as a kink, interest, lifestyle or identity in their own case. But there must be millions worldwide who are active ABDL in some sense, and an even larger untapped population of people who, for example, are very curious about the idea of wearing nappies again but have never acted on it.
 

BobbiSueEllen

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Well, at least we're not the "only ones into this" that we all felt like when this all erupted in our lives. We all felt that way at first...then we discovered pongs to our pings. I don't think there's a good guess as to our numbers; there's over 50,000 registered here, sure, before accounting for duplicate accounts...but I suppose the world may never truly know...unless it becomes part of a world census form, by virtue of questions such as:
  1. Do you or anyone else use incontinence products in your household? (Yes) (No) How many? ___ And;
  2. Of these, how many do not need them for a genuine incontinence contition? ___
But then again, people have filled in some certain other blanks in census forms with "DECLINE", "NOYB" or "GFYS" so the world may never know. I'm just very happy I'm not alone in this, despite being alone in other ways. Just my .000002 Bitcoin. :unsure:
 

chamberpot

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Well, at least we're not the "only ones into this" that we all felt like when this all erupted in our lives. We all felt that way at first...then we discovered pongs to our pings. I don't think there's a good guess as to our numbers; there's over 50,000 registered here, sure, before accounting for duplicate accounts...but I suppose the world may never truly know...unless it becomes part of a world census form, by virtue of questions such as:
  1. Do you or anyone else use incontinence products in your household? (Yes) (No) How many? ___ And;
  2. Of these, how many do not need them for a genuine incontinence contition? ___
But then again, people have filled in some certain other blanks in census forms with "DECLINE", "NOYB" or "GFYS" so the world may never know. I'm just very happy I'm not alone in this, despite being alone in other ways. Just my .000002 Bitcoin. :unsure:
We may well be alone in this but we are together via this website and for that I am thankful... oh what I would give to be able to have an open conversation with people about being a diaper lover with no fear of repercussions
 
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BobbiSueEllen

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Well, we do know this much here:
  • Some IC folk may feel differently, but we're all Diaper Lovers, and;
  • Some of us DLs are ABs...and a few other circles, with circles that overlap some.
I love wearing diapers and being a Big Baby, and being a Sissy, a Little...as well as a new category I may have unknowingly invented: a "DiaperCos"! 🥳 🥰
 
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sport1

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A good and well thought out piece, but I feel the need to defend my comments re associated philias.
So far, in 14 studies out of 21 I've read (and I have more) the initial and outward subject has been either paraphilia or pedophilia, it soon becomes obvious that the academic who published has been reading all the other papers and are blinkered into believing the same basic and plain wrong belief that all infantile regressive behaviour is purely sexual in nature (the initiator) and almost always connected to some kind of disorder (the drive to escalate).
The best I have found so far to describe many but no way near all of us is as having a regressive dissociative disorder, in which some of us genuinely have a seperate little+ personality. But, this then gets strongly associated with schizophrenia which it simply is not.
My point is there does not seem to be an academic out there in A, the right field, or B, with the ability to seriously look beyond what has gone before, rather than just put THEIR spin on it to get publishing cudos.
For my 2p worth, I DO believe there's sufficient population, now, and also due to other very well observed comments regards childlike behaviour phenomenon, for someone to pick up an unbiased baton and run with something original and well thought out and actually about the subject
Grrrr grrrr..... I'll calm down now, relax and just let go, there that's better, I now need my nappy changing🤣🤣🤣🥴🥴🥴
That is such a broad subject.
 

ChristopherRichard

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That is such a broad subject.
And there by the grace of whatever, we must go🤔
'We' are too broad a spectrum, not to mention each part of that spectrum having its own, ad infinitum.
And THAT right there is the problem, so far 'WE' are categorized as all the same, and that category is seemingly ONLY a sub section of paraphilia.
Not even apparently worthy of 'our' own investigation or serious study.
 

bobbilly

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I wonder what number of people out there who have some form of Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID) who desire to be Incontinent, bladder/bowel or both?

I know my desires for wearing nappies is down to my very strong desires to be double incontinent and seen/be a disabled person. its not so much the nappies I like, like in a paraphilia, I'm more interested in the BIID side of thing and wanting to be disabled. Although I love nappies I like them because it makes me look disabled. I also love special needs protective helmets.

The desire to be incontinent has been so strong and overwhelming in my younger years (teens/20s) I contemplated many stupid things to purposely make myself double incontinent. Now I just wear all the time when I want and people think I'm incontinent anyway as I'm out that I need nappies. I'm on antipsychotics also which lessened this overwhelming desire to be incontinent. I also like in supported housing so am seen as disabled which has helped my mental health a lot.

My BIID has probably come around because of severe childhood neglect I experienced, I do have an Attachment Disorder. Schizoaffective disorder.

I have never explored my BIID feeling with a psychologist but would like too.
 
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