I am still having issues finding people on fetlife

[PoofsNFloofs]

I've had a pretty cringy personal experience with FetLife. I've given it multiple tries over the years and I just end up leaving. Messages from people just wanting to hook up with me and so much hardcore BDSM stuff (not my thing). Another kind of pathetic thing I see on there is people who make really standoffish profiles where they give themselves a laundry list of labels, brag about their kink fantasy family, and then tell most everyone to not contact them.

 

[Cottontail]

I'm kind of amused by the "I tried Site A and didn't find anybody, so I moved on to Site B." I mostly just hang out here on ADISC because I've got no personal agenda, but if I was looking for real-life companionship I'd keep as many irons in the fire as I could.

Messages from people just wanting to hook up with me and so much hardcore BDSM stuff (not my thing).

Yeah. Despite having "male," "straight," and "in a relationship" on my FetLife profile, I've gotten multiple hookup requests, including from other males. Laziness and desperation are certainly alive and well there, and one has to be willing to sift through that stuff--which may or may not be worthwhile, according to one's goals. I have a couple of ABDL penpals with whom I correspond on FetLife, and that's about it. I check the local groups periodically to see if, by some miracle, there's enough activity to spawn a recurring munch or something, but my expectations are low. As I mentioned earlier, I'm in a rural, sparsely populated area. Scarcity of ABDLs is to be expected.

 

[Sissyboy2807]

So here is my experience with FetLife.
I was open enough to try hanging out with other males in the area as opposed to females. We had an open relationship at the time. I am kind of bi curious to a small degree. Finding a female would have been impossible or maybe 5% chance and then think about all the guys that would try to hit them up.

So the first person basically lied about their age. He said he was my age young 30s but probably like higher 40s or so. So definitely lied about his age.

The second person literally just came over and was sitting on the couch for a long time.I have a diaper to try but that was it. I think we were looking for different things. It was very awkward and I'm thinking to my self that you can go at any time.

Like another person said. FetLife is very connected with Bondage. Maybe diapers are a part of it but they usually want a lot more creepy things that I am not into.

A lot of people want to make plans but then either cancel or back out of it. They get scared or make up some excuse. They bother during the day even when your at work. Like they message you at all times of the day even when your the most busiest.

 

[Babynix]

As a Mommy who found my babygirl on Collarspace, there are a couple things I can tell you that may help.

First off, there are tons of people all looking for the same thing... A real life CG/Mommy that does not make a living doing it. So you need to understand that we get a ton... pages and pages full of wankers that just want to get their rocks off. So in order to sort through the Do Me Bois, Most of us delete any thing that does not have a picture in the profile or minimally filled out "About yourself" I am not saying you need to put a face pic in there, or tell the name of your small town, but I can tell you from experience that if you are not open and genuine sounding in your profile, I will delete and block you immediately.

Secondly, in any first contact PM, you have to use more than a one line introduction. Any one line , "Hi, how are you?" gets deleted and blocked. There has to be something about me and you that adds interest.... For instance if you were to contact me and notice that in my profile it says I like mountain biking, you could say... Hello my name is a kittybaby. I live in small town Missouri. I see you like mt biking I was just wondering how you would make me ride in a diaper or if I could wear a pullup if you were to become my Mommy and we went for a ride... where all would we get to go? I know I live really far from you, but would you ever consider.....? I like blah, blah, blah.... It's really hard for me to stay in babyspace and sound desirable, what do you look for in a little?

What I am saying is that because there are so few of us (Mommies) out here, there has to be something about you that piques my interest. Be wise, be honest, be forthcoming. Ask questions about the CG that are more than yes or no answers. Be intellectually simulating... you have to be more than just the same as the last wanker.... So for example, if you look at MrMae 's introduction on this site, there are a ton of things that you can talk to her about that could set you apart!!! Be wise... Be Brilliant!!! Stop whining. xo

Just thoughts
Bella's Mommy

Well done Mommy you are so talented xx

 

[diaperedinlongisland]

Honestly, I just don't get, why it's so hard. Am I just that socially awkward or is it something else because I don't really know what to do here.

me too
fet life is rough

 

[FrenchFriedOnion]

I too tried fetlife, had very very little luck, despite being and advertising as cis male hetero. Lots of men, or MTF contacted me which was ok. I was open to hang out, diaper activities etc. but most wanted "a lot more" than just hanging out in a diaper watching Ghibli movies, going for a forested walk, nope.. And being super super rural (think 80mins down the freeway in any direction at 75mph) from any other civilization doesn't help..

Out of my time on fet. 36 male messages. 15 non identifying, and 3 female. Sadly the female all turned very quickly into a commission/admission/donation/sugar daddy type of thing. So that ended rather quickly.

I found 4 people on fet locally. 3 of them are friends with my ex fiance so yea. The 4th well..I never heard back.

 

[denimchicken]

Well this doesn't bode well for my attempts to find someone to hang out with.

That being said I won't have any luck if I don't at least try. The only times I have found fellow abdls was at an abdl themed store.

What would be your ideal abdl munch? I think firstly I would need to become friends, and/or find some other common interests before proceeding to have an abdl themed munch.

 

[ShyBoo81]

Maybe not everyone will relate, but my experience with fetlife has been mostly good so far. Ive gone to a few ageplay munches, found a nice group, and did my first ageplay night event all through fetlife. Maybe I got lucky and just so happen to live near a city where theres an active ABDL/ageplay/little community. If I lived somewhere out in a rural town, I imagine the experience wouldnt be the same.

Im a big introvert myself, and honestly it was very scary joining my first couple munches. I literally just sat there awkwardly and didnt say much while the rest of the group continued to talk alot. Its understandable though, being the new guy in town who doesnt know anyone at all. But I figured if I just kept going to each event with the same group, eventually ill get comfortable enough to have a conversation with them.

One month later and I have to say I feel a bit more at home with the ageplay group now. Wouldnt say Im BFFs with one of the members yet, but I hope to make one someday. They even got an active Discord server too which is awesome! Especially if you're not into using fetlife much.