How to Find a Mommy?

RacerAce

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
Well I've kept my search on these past couple of days. I cant find anyone where I live as the community here is very insensitive to this. I tried to contact some mommies on fetlife but the ones that seem legit have either left fetlife or retired. So my hunt is still on.
 

pampers4U

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1,198
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Diaper Lover
I met current girlfriend that is my caretaker at the gym, she seemed very vanilla when we met and still is pretty vanilla today, her kink is more or less taking care of me, we talked about it some and she said that shes never even heard of any of this "stuff" and that it was a little weird, but kind of cute at the same time (I think she was a little freaked out but intrigued all at once) We are definitely two different personalities (opposites attract) that have some similarities if that even makes sense.
I wouldn't really classify her as my mommy but she loves caring for me (some of it is kink related, other aspects are out of pure love & affection)
The point of all this is that I met a vanilla person, after a couple dates and tons of messaging I was truthful with her, I told her about my dl and ab side, I showed her what diapers and onesies looked like, she took it from there and we ran with it together. I am legitimately happy today, we have a fantastic and healthy relationship with awesome communication, so to all, don't discount regular dating either, you never know a person until you actually meet them.
 

sbmccue

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543
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
When you ask, "How to find a Mommy?" I assume you mean someone who will care for you without a money exchange.

I gather that the emphasis of the thread is finding someone who will care for you for free ... either as part of a relationship bargain or out of the goodness of her heart. I've been a practicing AB for more than 30 years and I've only met 3 women of that sort in decades of diligent search. One would diaper me when I asked, and two genuinely enjoyed taking care of a big baby.

I have, however, had a number of 'paid' babysitters over the years. If you're willing to pay for care, the possibilities open up considerably. Most women in healthcare-related jobs, for example, would find caring for an AB a challenging task. In many ways, babysitting an AB is far more 'fun' than work, especially compared to the work they do every day.

If, like most ABs I've talked with, you aren't willing to pay for care, I think you have to be very lucky via the relationship route. From my experience, there just aren't many women out there who enjoy big baby play enough to offer it for free.
 

extremecomfy

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466
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
I think making kind female friends might be a good start. Be honest maybe a friend.

Sent from my UL40 using Tapatalk
 

Hastra

Contributor
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10
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Diaper Lover, Little, Other
I actually kind of ended up with one by accident lol. I was on fetlife and decided to join one of the kink groups in my area; we meet up at a private "dungeon" once a month. One of the leaders of the group was a woman named Terri. She's a sadistic domme, but also has a mommy streak, specifically for adult baby boys. When I showed up she practically snatched me under her wing lol. XD Later found out that she had a bABy boy in another city, but they grew apart after she moved away and she's been sad about it ever since, and was stoked that there was another AB boy here in Kalispell; she looked at me like I was a friggin' unicorn or bigfoot lol. I guess full-blown adult babies are kind of rare; most people in the Ageplay community are closer to toddlers, or five and six year olds. I'm closer to one or two. So far we haven't really done anything specifically Mommy/Baby related, (diaper changes, bottle feedings, etc), but we've been hanging out for a few months or so now and I'm unsure if she wants to take that next step in our relationship. I'm a little shy too, so I haven't said anything about it yet. Kinda waiting for her to say something haha. ...But what if she's waiting for ME to say something? o_O


--LJ

- - - Updated - - -

Glad she took me under her wing though; the main leader of the group frowns upon Littles because he doesn't see us as "real subs" because not many of us are into the levels of pain he likes to inflict with his whips. He's kind of a jerk. If it weren't for Terri I wouldn't even show up at the dungeon. Too many naked people running around for my tastes lmao. There's only two other Littles there; both girls, both six year olds who aren't into baby stuff at all. They kinda feel like my big sisters now. XD

But yeah, I guess I'd just suggest joining fetlife and finding a local group, show up to the parties and munches, and get to know people. Gotta put yourself out there a little. ;)
May I message you? I have an off topic question and don't want to thread hijack.
 

tenderbottoms47

Est. Contributor
Messages
38
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Adult Baby
Hi, So how did you go about finding a paid caregiver?

- - - Updated - - -

When you ask, "How to find a Mommy?" I assume you mean someone who will care for you without a money exchange.

I gather that the emphasis of the thread is finding someone who will care for you for free ... either as part of a relationship bargain or out of the goodness of her heart. I've been a practicing AB for more than 30 years and I've only met 3 women of that sort in decades of diligent search. One would diaper me when I asked, and two genuinely enjoyed taking care of a big baby.

I have, however, had a number of 'paid' babysitters over the years. If you're willing to pay for care, the possibilities open up considerably. Most women in healthcare-related jobs, for example, would find caring for an AB a challenging task. In many ways, babysitting an AB is far more 'fun' than work, especially compared to the work they do every day.

If, like most ABs I've talked with, you aren't willing to pay for care, I think you have to be very lucky via the relationship route. From my experience, there just aren't many women out there who enjoy big baby play enough to offer it for free.
May I ask how you went about contacting a paid caregiver to babysit you?
 

sbmccue

Est. Contributor
Messages
543
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
I started looking for women in healthcare. By complete accident, I found that a very attractive young lady who waited on me in a favorite restaurant was also in nursing school, earning money to work her way through. After a few conversations she tried babysitting me, and remained my ‘nanny’ until she graduated and went to work running a shift of CNAs in a nursing home.

Since she didn’t have time to care for me any longer - and didn’t really need the extra money - she introduced me to a young CNA she’d met at work who was adventurous and gigglingly willing to try big babysitting. She became my ‘nanny’ for another couple of years. Another 8 nannies (and 25 years later) here I am. My current nanny has lots of childcare experience and is by far the most maternal woman I’ve ever met.

If you don’t gather up the courage to talk with women, you never get anywhere. If you know someone in healthcare, approaching her is something of a no-brainer. I’ve had a few turndowns, but never from a nurse, nursing student or CNA. The work is too easy (for them!) and too much fun ... like playing with a big doll.

I’m sure I’ll have an experience with a ‘pro’ sitter at some point, but until now I just haven’t needed to look.
 

LilByte

Est. Contributor
Messages
999
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Adult Baby, Little
If I knew a person had already worked with ab littles before on a non bdsm innocent side things I'd be willing to pay for a care service. However all my random searches online seemed to only show fetishy (more like escort then care) services. And being that I've never had an ab mommy I don't know how to even explain my needs of being a little kid to a normal person, much less not feel like a complete fool trying to be little around them.

TL:DR Pro's look like escort services, and I don't know what to tell non pro normal people that won't make me want to cease existing.
 

AwesomeAlexABDL

Moderated
Messages
68
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
I really want a caregiver or a mommy/Daddy. When it comes to FetLife. I had a guy lied to me to be my big. All he wanted to me for sex. Then I met another guy which he was kinda of the same. I worryed about meeting people. So becarful.


And I'm open for a big.


I want a caregiver :)

Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk
 

sbmccue

Est. Contributor
Messages
543
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
I actually found the conversation pretty easy. The CNA I mentioned had already heard of ABs. With someone who was unfamiliar, I always started by telling them that acting and being treated like a toddler helped me relax, which is perfectly true.

I then asked her what she did to relax. You wouldn’t believe some of the answers I got!

As far as feeling like “a complete fool,” that only lasts for the first few minutes until you really get into little space. Once you’re acting like a toddler, you start thinking like one as well. The woman becomes a maternal caregiver, and you cease to be embarrassed. If it helps, remember she’s likely done everything you need her to do many times before with real little kids.

I share your opinion of most pros. I have run across a couple who seem to know what they’re doing, but they certainly do not abound.
 

tenderbottoms47

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Adult Baby
I actually found the conversation pretty easy. The CNA I mentioned had already heard of ABs. With someone who was unfamiliar, I always started by telling them that acting and being treated like a toddler helped me relax, which is perfectly true.

I then asked her what she did to relax. You wouldn’t believe some of the answers I got!

As far as feeling like “a complete fool,” that only lasts for the first few minutes until you really get into little space. Once you’re acting like a toddler, you start thinking like one as well. The woman becomes a maternal caregiver, and you cease to be embarrassed. If it helps, remember she’s likely done everything you need her to do many times before with real little kids.

I share your opinion of most pros. I have run across a couple who seem to know what they’re doing, but they certainly do not abound.
Wow,, that's so awesome and you were very fortunate to find the care you needed. So how would one go about contacting a caregiver through a home care agency that offers sitter services and home care? What should be asked as to not get in any trouble trying to explain what type of care is needed from the caregiver or sitter? How should the conversation start? A phone call or email to the agency? And then.... say what?? I have no problem talking about this. I just don't want any issues with the law or possible getting arrested for requesting this kind a care or treatment from an health care agency

Any input or advice from anyone who has done this and was successful would be greatly appreciated!
 

sbmccue

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543
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
There's nothing illegal about having someone change your diaper or treat you like a child. However, I wouldn't contact agencies in your effort to find a sitter.

I actually tried that tact about 30 years ago; a friend owned a nursing agency. I told her what I wanted and she promised to try to find someone who could help me. After 2 weeks, she told me none of the healthcare providers she had on call wanted the job. I then tried another agency (with an owner I did not know) and got a similar result. The problem is in the unique nature of the job; these folks are paid the same hourly rate no matter what sort of care they provide, and they'd rather not tackle anything strange or unusual. There's just no incentive for them to take any job that isn't considered 'typical.'

Having wasted a month of my time, I turned to my secretary and asked her who she knew in healthcare. Then I sat down at her desk and explained why I wanted to know. Suffice it to say this was about 1988, before the internet had made infantilism somewhat mainstream.

Turned out she wanted to try babysitting me herself. She was probably the worst babysitter I've ever had, but she was a start. Because she worked for me, I instinctively trusted her. Her positive response – and the feedback she gave me – led me to start trying to find people on my own. However, I made up my mind to look for someone with healthcare experience, because even if she wasn't good at roleplaying, she'd at least be competent at bathing, feeding, changing, dressing, etc. That's how I ran into the waitress who was a nursing student.

If you're determined to try the agency approach, good luck! I'm not sure how far you'll get. Patient privacy laws being what they are, I don't imagine you'll have any worse luck than having someone hang up on you. But you'll have far better luck trying to find an individual, having an honest conversation with him or her, and offering them a decent hourly rate to try caring for you. My goal was always to help a new sitter have so much fun the first time that she wanted to come back again and again. That's only possible if you have a personal relationship with the caregiver and show genuine appreciation for what she provides.

I hope that helps.
 

tenderbottoms47

Est. Contributor
Messages
38
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Adult Baby
There's nothing illegal about having someone change your diaper or treat you like a child. However, I wouldn't contact agencies in your effort to find a sitter.

I actually tried that tact about 30 years ago; a friend owned a nursing agency. I told her what I wanted and she promised to try to find someone who could help me. After 2 weeks, she told me none of the healthcare providers she had on call wanted the job. I then tried another agency (with an owner I did not know) and got a similar result. The problem is in the unique nature of the job; these folks are paid the same hourly rate no matter what sort of care they provide, and they'd rather not tackle anything strange or unusual. There's just no incentive for them to take any job that isn't considered 'typical.'

Having wasted a month of my time, I turned to my secretary and asked her who she knew in healthcare. Then I sat down at her desk and explained why I wanted to know. Suffice it to say this was about 1988, before the internet had made infantilism somewhat mainstream.

Turned out she wanted to try babysitting me herself. She was probably the worst babysitter I've ever had, but she was a start. Because she worked for me, I instinctively trusted her. Her positive response – and the feedback she gave me – led me to start trying to find people on my own. However, I made up my mind to look for someone with healthcare experience, because even if she wasn't good at roleplaying, she'd at least be competent at bathing, feeding, changing, dressing, etc. That's how I ran into the waitress who was a nursing student.

If you're determined to try the agency approach, good luck! I'm not sure how far you'll get. Patient privacy laws being what they are, I don't imagine you'll have any worse luck than having someone hang up on you. But you'll have far better luck trying to find an individual, having an honest conversation with him or her, and offering them a decent hourly rate to try caring for you. My goal was always to help a new sitter have so much fun the first time that she wanted to come back again and again. That's only possible if you have a personal relationship with the caregiver and show genuine appreciation for what she provides.

I hope that helps.
That's the problem. I just do not know anyone in the healthcare industry. Wish I did though. If I do decide to contact an agency would it be safe to ask for this type of treatment from an health care worker? I'm not sure if asking for this via email would be criminal or lead to criminal charges due to Infantilism or Adult Baby syndrome being classified as a fetish. If they would google Infantilism or Adult baby syndrome the first thing that comes up regarding this condition is that it is fetish of sexual nature. So I'm not sure if in this situation it would be considered a crime introducing a fetish to someone even though it has nothing to do with real babies or anything sexual at all. I myself do not consider this to be a fetish as it is not sexual for me. It's about the nurturing I was not given as a young child due to my mother passing away from cancer when I was only 7. I really wish this syndrome was classified differently and not as a fetish.
It would be extremely difficult for me to approach someone and engage in a conversation about this hoping she would possibly be on board to help me with this issue. Again you are very very lucky. Congrats!!
 

sbmccue

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I'm not lucky at all. My infantilism is a curse which has plagued me for more than half a century. The only thing that makes me 'lucky' is my willingness to share my plight with women in the hope that one of them will agree to help me.

You've hit on the real problem: The internet. When I first approached agencies, the internet as we know it didn't exist. Nowadays, when someone Googles infantilism, they're apt to read just the sort of negative commentary you mentioned.

That's why I think finding healthcare professionals and speaking with them face-to-face is the only real way forward in this day and time. If you seem sane and sincere, what they find when they go home and do an internet search won't really matter.

I imagine there's a Craigslist or similar board available where you live, and the Resumes section always has postings from healthcare workers looking for jobs. If you email them and they don't respond, there's no harm done since the approach is relatively anonymous. Gumtree is also a good place to find CNAs, LVNs, LPNs, MAs and RNs. The problem with Craigslist-type venues is that there's no way to 'see' a candidate until you meet him or her. I'm very particular about the sort of person I want changing my pants, so a photo is invaluable. For example, I'm late middle-aged; I would not want a 20-year-old trying to treat me like a toddler. For that reason, I've also tried Care.com and SitterCity.com, but with mixed results.

You must be willing to get out and meet these folks in a Starbucks or somewhere that's neutral ground, comfortable enough with them (and with yourself) that you can spend 45 minutes or so allaying their concerns, and willing to pay an above-average hourly rate for what they will view as easy work. Nowadays, I wouldn't offer anyone less than $25 per hour, and a lot of ABs won't even consider spending that sort of money.

I'm obviously happy to help; feel free to PM me if there's anything I can do to assist in your search.
 

tenderbottoms47

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Adult Baby
Your advice is very sound. I just wish there was an easy way to find someone willing to do this for me without fear of getting into any kind of legal trouble. If you can think of something please let me know and maybe we can chat about. Thanks for responding back to this issue.
 

sbmccue

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
The only kind of 'legal trouble' you might encounter would be if you asked for or expected some sort of sexual favor while being cared for. Since I know that's not your interest, I think you're on safe ground legally. The unfortunate truth is that people can complain about anything, and some do. However, I've never encountered that sort of difficulty and I've had 15 women caring for me over the past 35 years. I've had 'the talk' with a couple dozen more.

As I've said, having your diaper changed by someone else isn't a criminal act, assuming you haven't tricked or entrapped them into doing so.

While you may require several dozen attempts to get a response, your best bet is to try Craigslist posters who are looking for home healthcare jobs. In looking at the Craigslist resumé posts for your area, I saw 4 or 5 ads that might warrant an email. One of my best babysitters was a young lady who'd posted a Craigslist ad looking for babysitting and adult care jobs.
 

tenderbottoms47

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Adult Baby
The only kind of 'legal trouble' you might encounter would be if you asked for or expected some sort of sexual favor while being cared for. Since I know that's not your interest, I think you're on safe ground legally. The unfortunate truth is that people can complain about anything, and some do. However, I've never encountered that sort of difficulty and I've had 15 women caring for me over the past 35 years. I've had 'the talk' with a couple dozen more.

As I've said, having your diaper changed by someone else isn't a criminal act, assuming you haven't tricked or entrapped them into doing so.

While you may require several dozen attempts to get a response, your best bet is to try Craigslist posters who are looking for home healthcare jobs. In looking at the Craigslist resumé posts for your area, I saw 4 or 5 ads that might warrant an email. One of my best babysitters was a young lady who'd posted a Craigslist ad looking for babysitting and adult care jobs.
I did just that on Craigslist a day ago and sent out 3 replies. One person responded yesterday morning showing intrest but I have not heard back from her today She sent me pics and said she could try to do it for me?
 

sbmccue

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One out of 3 is a pretty good start!

If she's willing to try, that's a good step forward. No one is a perfect caretaker on day one; big babysitting is a skill that takes time to develop.

If she does get back with you and you need some help on how best to proceed, feel free to PM me.
 

UmaKlim

Contributor
Messages
1
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Carer
Hi,

I am very new here. I am not an ABDL... I am a carer or caretaker, looking to be a Mommy. I know there probably won't be any or many little babies from my own country, but I am happy to chat with anyone who wishes to say Hi to a lonely Mommy.

- - - Updated - - -

There's nothing illegal about having someone change your diaper or treat you like a child. However, I wouldn't contact agencies in your effort to find a sitter.

I actually tried that tact about 30 years ago; a friend owned a nursing agency. I told her what I wanted and she promised to try to find someone who could help me. After 2 weeks, she told me none of the healthcare providers she had on call wanted the job. I then tried another agency (with an owner I did not know) and got a similar result. The problem is in the unique nature of the job; these folks are paid the same hourly rate no matter what sort of care they provide, and they'd rather not tackle anything strange or unusual. There's just no incentive for them to take any job that isn't considered 'typical.'

Having wasted a month of my time, I turned to my secretary and asked her who she knew in healthcare. Then I sat down at her desk and explained why I wanted to know. Suffice it to say this was about 1988, before the internet had made infantilism somewhat mainstream.

Turned out she wanted to try babysitting me herself. She was probably the worst babysitter I've ever had, but she was a start. Because she worked for me, I instinctively trusted her. Her positive response – and the feedback she gave me – led me to start trying to find people on my own. However, I made up my mind to look for someone with healthcare experience, because even if she wasn't good at roleplaying, she'd at least be competent at bathing, feeding, changing, dressing, etc. That's how I ran into the waitress who was a nursing student.

If you're determined to try the agency approach, good luck! I'm not sure how far you'll get. Patient privacy laws being what they are, I don't imagine you'll have any worse luck than having someone hang up on you. But you'll have far better luck trying to find an individual, having an honest conversation with him or her, and offering them a decent hourly rate to try caring for you. My goal was always to help a new sitter have so much fun the first time that she wanted to come back again and again. That's only possible if you have a personal relationship with the caregiver and show genuine appreciation for what she provides.

I hope that helps.
Hi, I have worked in the care industry on and off for at least 10 years. I have worked with people with intellectual disabilities, most of them were or could be violent at times. Looking after an adult baby would be so easy after what I have experienced. I would love to find someone like you who I could possibly work for part time, or in weekends.
 

sbmccue

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543
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
I'm sure there are ABs in your part of the world who would welcome you with open arms ... literally!

You've hit the nail on the head: For most healthcare professionals, caring for an AB is a piece of cake. Compared to the work they have to do each day, taking care of a big baby is easy and safe in comparison. Because most ABs can, if required, sit up, lie down, walk and talk, caring for our needs is relatively simple in comparison.

The real hurdle is the inherent 'strangeness' of providing infant-type care to an adult. Once you can 'see' yourself in that role, which runs counter in many ways to traditional healthcare training, caring for an AB is almost a no-brainer. For example, it's hard to imagine baby-talking an adult in a healthcare setting as you change a diaper, but when you're caring for an AB, you can feel free to do so.

My current nanny still struggles with treating me like a child instead of an adult in baby clothes. The result is something akin to geriatric role-play, but she's getting better with time. She's been babysitting me on and off for nearly 4 years, which is why I mentioned that caregivers take time to adapt and improve. I've seen the progress, growth and change firsthand ... and it takes time.

Here's hoping you find someone who treasures your skill and willingness to help!
 
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