This is a topic that comes up from time to time. I'll begin by stating that finding a caregiver, any caregiver, Mommy or Daddy, is going to be difficult. Bottom line, being an AB can be a tough sell and not everyone is game for having an overgrown baby in their lives. That being said, I have been fortunate enough to have had 3 Mommies in my life at various different points. So, I can safely say, that Mommies do exist. How do you find them? Well, that's completely up to the individual.
I met all 3 of my Mommies through various channels; one was a girl I simply dated and told in due time, one was a person who responded to a personal ad I posted on Craigslist, back when you could do personals ads there, and my current Mommy was just a curious person who joined Fetlife briefly and stopped frequenting it as soon as we hit it off.
All 3 methods had their drawbacks. When dating someone, it's always difficult to gauge how they are going to react and the pre-conversation nerves and worry can be hard on you. Not everyone on Craigslist was aware of alternative lifestyles, so you always had one or two negative replies that could make you feel ashamed, or you'd sometimes get replies from obvious scammers that would keep you from getting your hopes up. On Fetlife, I find, as others have pointed out, that many of the Mommies there are more into ABDL as an entirely sexual thing or a subset of BDSM, they are only in it for kinky fun, and many of the more sincere, dedicated Mommies are always taken. Fetlife may seem like the only surefire way, but it's a crapshoot, lots of AB/DLs on there and so few Mommies that aren't already taken and who aren't in it for strictly kinky reasons. Fetlife is good if you want to make friends, attend gatherings or play around, but the odds of finding an exclusive and dedicated caretaker there are slim to none. It also doesn't help that some of the AB males on there are so incredibly desperate and devoid of self-control that they literally badger and harass nearly every Mommy on there, even the ones who are already taken. I had luck on Fetlife because a curious casual found my profile interesting and we hit it off. We have both stopped frequenting the site because we have found one another and also because my current Mommy was starting to receive the same harassing and unnecessary comments that many Mommies get on there, "Hey Baby, wanna change my big stinky diaper"
shudders :no:
I would say Fetlife or any dating site is really luck of the draw, and even if you meet an accepting person on there, it's imperative that you try to connect on a deeper, emotional level. Starting a relationship built on AB/DL alone is not going to work, you have to make sure you have other things in common and life goals. My current Mommy is a very ambitious person and we talk about absolutely everything, not just diapers and Mommy/Baby time. I could say the same for my previous two Mommies as well, we had other things in common.
As I can attest, there are multiple ways to find a Mommy, there is no recipe for success or a single surefire solution. I would, however, say that the best bet is to simply find someone you hit it off with, get to know them, date and court one another and then when rapport and emotional connection is established, reveal this side of yourself to them. This is what I did with my first girlfriend and she was so very accepting when I revealed to her my AB side. It's also something that me and my current GF/Mommy did as well. Even though she reached out to me over Fetlife, we quickly proceeded to e-mails and skype conversations and we made sure to get to know each other on all fronts. Even though my current GF/Mommy is long distance, we have a rapport and a connection that goes beyond and includes my being an AB and I couldn't be happier. When she relocates closer to me, I know it will likely be a wonderful, forever kind of a relationship
So, to anyone still looking, they're out there. How you meet them, that is entirely up to you. Happy searching
