Help!! Sneaking nappies!

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Hi to all, I'm new here and I needed some advices from anyone who had experiences and how they handle the situation. First of all, I'm not an ab/dl but my bf is and I don't really have problem with that, I'm open minded and accepted that every person has different thing going on with them. As long as they are not harming anyone then whatever it is I'm ok with that. So, we've been together for a year but most of the time we're apart, living in different country. Few months in a relationship he admitted his fetish for diapers to me, at 1st I'm surprised and kinda disappointed, but eventually accepted it, reading about stories of people with same fetishes helped me to understand. So when we are together I wear nappies for him and he wants me peeing on it, he also wear nappies and peed on. I accepted the peeing stuff although at 1st it grossed me out. But I just keep on saying nuh uh dont be gross that's your own body fluids so its no big deal. So I get used to it though not fully comfortable. The nextime we are together he admitted that he get sexual urges when sneaking childrens used nappies ( only peed nappies, not with poop) and wearing it or just simply rubbing it on himself. When I learned about this, I worried that his fetish seems evolving, and we had a big argument when he asked me to sneak nappies for him coz im not going to be suspicious when I go to any children changing station, he told me that if I really love him or accepting him fully I should do that. I don't know what to do, I love him but I hate him when he's being like this. Sometimes I thought if isn't it enough that I accepted him but for him it feels like he wants me to have some full fetish on nappy also that way only I can prove I accepted him. But its not that easy, every person has their thing and im not diaper lover, I can be with him, wear nappies, pee on it, but to expect that I will get the same satisfaction he get is not going to happen. I don't know what to do? We are so perfect together and l love him. But whenever we discussed about sneaking used nappies, I dont think I could handle that.. I badly needed some advices folks. Anyone who experienced this. Pls share your thoughts.
If you feel that there has to be a line, you need to set it. I'm sure you have your own boundaries that you don't want to go in to. Relationships work with two people coming to an understanding. You have to put your foot down and speak.
You know when you said you're a person who is willing to accept people's differences and preferences so long as they harm no one, that sounded wonderful.

However, what this guy is asking you to do is you. Also, IMO this is not nice. Apart from being plain creepy, it's unhygenic. He is wrong to ask you to do this, and does not care for you by asking.

I guess this sounds rich coming from an AB/DL but for this aspect of his fetish, he needs some help.
Sounds like he's trying to force you into what he loves, and that isn't healthy for either end of the relationship. Relationships are built on respect and that includes our boundaries and trying to change something about us that shouldn't be changed. Talk with him and see if he can understand where you are coming from.
That's just plain wrong, there's having a harmless fetish and then there's that. Please for your own sake don't go along with this. I honestly think the kindest thing you could do is try to get him professional help.
Idon't know if this helps entirely, I read the whole paragraph and I don't know what to say all together is.

But you need to listen to your heart and gut, believe it or not when you feel that feeling in your gut it's trying to tell you something.

I would sit down with your boyfriend and also do the above comments not trying to take credit or nothing. But you gotta set the line, both you and him need their feelings met, boundaries met like boobybird89 said and also ozbub. It's a 2 way street, and you shouldn't have your feelings ignored, if he cares for you, then you both need to say what upsets one person, what one person likes, what they're not comfortable with, etc. While one person is talking listen to your significant other, even if you disagree, let that person put everything out on the table, honesty is the key. Then after that person is done talking. Then your other half needs to do the same, while one person is talking listen to the other significant other, even if you disagree, let that person put everything out on the table, honesty is the key.
Once you both have put both efforts in from each other by letting you know what this person likes, doesn't like, etc. Then you guys can put it into action. And be able to be where you want. If it happens to work, great. If not, then sorry.

Being in a relationship has to work from both parties not just one. And you gotta do what you feel is ok for the relationship and what you feel also. Also I am not calling anybody crazy by no means, but that little voice inside your head, don't ignore it.

Hope it helps,

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Also, sometimes you have to go back to square one and start over, I am not saying a break or breaking up. But sometimes start fresh, even if it seems silly.

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I agree with Snowfall
Thank u soo much guys.. I really appreciated your effort to respond and gave advices. This dilemmas been bugging me for some time now, but I have no one to talk to. I shared almost everything to my mom but this one particular topic is a no no, I'm sure she will freak out. I feel a lil better now.. and yes I will try to have a sincere talk with my bf.. Thank u once again ♥♥♥
Stone101 said:
...he told me that if I really love him or accepting him fully I should do that.

This part really bothers me. Loving or accepting someone does NOT mean you will do anything to or for them.

Like others have said, if you are not comfortable with this (I am would not be either), then you should not do it.

You need to sit down with your bf and tell him that his request is going too far for you. Whether this will be the end or not, will be up to him.
The moment someone says, "if you love me you will ____", in my mind that should be a HUGE red flag! This is amplified by the fact that you are not ok with it!

In fact, I would argue, the moment someone makes that statement, its evident that they not only do not love you, but are using you for their own selfish gain.

Run, do not walk, away.

I know that sounds very harsh, and obviously I know little and less about the situation and either of you, but I do know that he cares more about his own personal desires than about you. Stick around and this will only escalate.

You are better than this, you deserve better. You deserve true love and respect.
Basically - Run.

He is abusing your openness and acceptance.
He is pushing your boundaries.
You are out of your comfort zone, and he is still pushing.
He is manipulative. (If you love me you will ....)
He is self centered. (All I see/hear are his needs/wants/desires being met)

All of this sounds like an abusive relationship.
He doesn't have to hit you for it to be an abusive relationship.
This sounds very much like mental and emotional abuse.

Not to mention the fact that he likes to wear / get off in used dirty diapers.
Wants you to help him get more of them.
Wants you to wear them too.
This alone would send me running for the door!!

You say you live in two different countries? keep it that way!
Not all of us are like that either, there's other fetishes involved here. I appreciate your openness about you. He should appreciate the fact that something like ADBL doesn't bother you. Don't let him manipulate you to do things for him. If you think that he is getting to a point where he seems controlling and forcing you to do something of any kind, it is time to move on.
I was in an abusive relationship just recentlly was able to get out but yes... RUN... my ex used my child mindset for his sick fantasies and I became his sicleave for five miserable years. My advice is get out... the line... 'if you loved me you'll...' sends chills... I'm here if you need to talk. I'm a regresser... very new to accepting it but will be a friend non the less
Mouse2015 said:
I was in an abusive relationship just recentlly was able to get out but yes... RUN...
I became his sicleave for five miserable years.
My advice is get out... the line... 'if you loved me you'll...' sends chills...

Hey Mouse
I'm sorry to hear that, but glad that you finally got out and away from him. :)
Have to ask, what is "sicleave" a typo?

Yes, "if you love me you'll" is only acceptable in cases like:
"if you love me you'll" get me a cookie.
"if you love me you'll" cook tonight.
"if you love me you'll" go to the store at 3am, in the snow, to get me ice cream.
"if you love me you'll" let me borrow that dress.
"if you love me you'll" stop what you're doing and come cuddle with me.
These are basically harmless and definitely NOT ultimatums like how he is using the phrase.
Yeah I was answereing someone else's post but I think I posted in thhe wrong spot... :(... I'm not in the abusive relationship anymore.
Stone101 said:
and we had a big argument when he asked me to sneak nappies for him coz im not going to be suspicious when I go to any children changing station,

This part throws a red flag up for me. What is the age difference here that you would be less suspicious than him. Because if you are both around the same age it would be equally suspisious if either of you went into a changing station. If you are under 18 and you are with another person 20s or up it sounds like they are abusing the hell out of you to get their own pleasure.
Yep. I'll hop aboard the 'this is an abusive relationship' train. Get out of there as fast as you can.

Edit: oops, looks like you already did. Good :)
I would like to add that if he thinks putting those diapers in a microwave to cook it clean he is delusional!
Who dat? lol!
Seriously he has an issue so please encourage him to seek help.
If he refuses, get out quick!
I say you should set boundaries and not budge if it's something that makes you truly uncomfortable, and always remember that love is about compromise. You compromised to suit him, but he also needs to compromise to suit you. It's ok to say no, and even if he pulls the "then you don't really loove me" card stay firm... If you so want, you can pull it back on him "if you really loved me, you wouldnt be forcing it on me" - but I wouldn't advise you to... And whatever happens, you have us.
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it seems here like you are doing alot to acommodate him if you are not intrested in diapers then you are not intrested so i would say here first i don have a issue taking used diapers from the trash but i would say there are alot of health risks so i would say you need to think about what you want here and what you like not what he does
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