College and Bedwetting

[PuppyLover]

I just started college earlier this month, and I really thought I could manage something like bedwetting with a roommate, mostly because I feel super embarrassed to acknowledge it as a medical issue. Im almost certain the college would require something like a doctors note if I were to request a single room, which is completely reasonable, but Ive never told anyone about this. And im out of state, so finding a doctor in itself who takes my insurance is a massive hassle.

Im just having a hard time managing it in a way that feels private. I go to bed super late, because I wait til my Roomate is asleep to change into a diaper/ put a pad on the bed, and wake up super early to change. Its just a super uncomfortable situation, and I dont even know if id qualify for special housing.

Does anyone have advice on managing nighttime incontinence in a dorm with a Roomate? How to do things discretely?

 

[LePew]

That is a really uncomfortable situation with a total lack of privacy. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that :/
While I don't feel like I can give you really helpful advise, I do hope that you're able to transition to a normal and stress-free lifestyle of going to bed and waking up when you want rather than what is conducive to hiding your bedwetting issue from your roommate.

 

[wiliawi]

Ok, sorry but you have to come clean with the roommate. You will be so much happier if you can deal with this and get it of your chest. I would suggest letting yourself wet the bed, then tell him I'm sorry but I wet the bed, shit happens, usually I try and protect myself, but I fell asleep unprotected. You (your roommate) can be an ass and tell all our friends/dormmates. They (your roommate) might, it's a risk. But tell him you have an issue, you are working with a Dr to fix it, but for now you wear diapers. Ask them what they would do. You will be much happier in the long run. I'm my dorm, their was one kid who always wet when he drank, and he drank allot. No one ever thought less of him. It's part of who you are. I was secretlu jealous of him. Good luck.

 

[craigd1341]

I would “accidentally” change in front of him into a pull-up and act like nothing was out of the ordinary. A lot of my college roommmates had “different” things that I got to know and realized it wasn’t a big deal … some became great friends

 

[ronnieM]

Before I moved in, I let my roommate know I had a medical issue and may get relocated to another room for that, and left it at that. Then I just didn't try to hide anything more than I would usually and they may or may not have found out. At this point you could tell them something similar or fabricate it a little bit - Like you were supposed to get another room for a medical issue, but they put you in this one, and it's possible you may get transferred soon. Leave it at that, then they can find out what it is later.

It sucks doing it standing but you can't change in the bathroom?

 

[PCS]

It’s always amazed me why Americans have this “sharing a room” thing when you’re at University and are meant to be an adult.

In the UK just about all halls of residence rooms are single rooms.

Given how much you guys have to pay, isn’t there a single room option that you can pay a supplement for?

 

[LePew]

^ in America, universities will bleed you dry. Charging you rent that's comparable to the going rate for studios in the area while stuffing you what is basically a hostel is just par for the course.

 

[tobid03]

That's a tough situation. You have several options:

-Talk to disability services. They may need a doctor's note, but reach out to them and they can tell you your options. Most colleges also have on-campus doctors for lower or no cost. Since this is a physical disability, it'll probably be easier to document than mental conditions which require a longer evaluation.

-Talk to housing. They may be able to accommodate you with a roommate who has similar issues or a private room, for example, but they may also need a doctor's note.

-Keep hiding it, which I'm sure isn't comfortable for you, and you shouldn't have to sacrifice your sleep. I'm not sure how your dorm is set up, but you could go change in a restroom for the time being. Dump supplies in a backpack and walk off to the restroom. If anyone questions you, "I'm getting ready for bed." or "I'm going for a walk." etc., etc.

-Mention it to your roommate, which, of course, can have it's risks, but if they give you a hard time about it, that just means your roommate is a jerk. Of course, you don't necessarily need full disclosure. "Medical issues" covers a lot.

Bottom line is the university has to make reasonable accommodations for disabilities under the ADA and Section 504.

 

[craigd1341]

Most large universities have suck small amount of housing that you are lucky to get a room at all

 

[tobid03]

That's a tough situation. You have several options:

-Talk to disability services. They may need a doctor's note, but reach out to them and they can tell you your options. Most colleges also have on-campus doctors for lower or no cost. Since this is a physical disability, it'll probably be easier to document than mental conditions which require a longer evaluation.

-Talk to housing. They may be able to accommodate you with a roommate who has similar issues or a private room, for example, but they may also need a doctor's note.

-Keep hiding it, which I'm sure isn't comfortable for you, and you shouldn't have to sacrifice your sleep. I'm not sure how your dorm is set up, but you could go change in a restroom for the time being. Dump supplies in a backpack and walk off to the restroom. If anyone questions you, "I'm getting ready for bed." or "I'm going for a walk." etc., etc.

-Mention it to your roommate, which, of course, can have it's risks, but if they give you a hard time about it, that just means your roommate is a jerk. Of course, you don't necessarily need full disclosure. "Medical issues" covers a lot.

Bottom line is the university has to make reasonable accommodations for disabilities under the ADA and Section 504.

By the way, even though it may feel uncomfortable to disclose medical issues to request accommodations (from disability and/or housing, depending on who you need to talk to), according to FERPA, they must keep it confidential. So any unauthorized disclosure by them would be a serious violation of FERPA.

 

[DamianTheAngel]

I just started college earlier this month, and I really thought I could manage something like bedwetting with a roommate, mostly because I feel super embarrassed to acknowledge it as a medical issue. Im almost certain the college would require something like a doctors note if I were to request a single room, which is completely reasonable, but Ive never told anyone about this. And im out of state, so finding a doctor in itself who takes my insurance is a massive hassle.

Im just having a hard time managing it in a way that feels private. I go to bed super late, because I wait til my Roomate is asleep to change into a diaper/ put a pad on the bed, and wake up super early to change. Its just a super uncomfortable situation, and I dont even know if id qualify for special housing.

Does anyone have advice on managing nighttime incontinence in a dorm with a Roomate? How to do things discretely?

I'm a college student in a similar situation.

In my case, my roommate knows I wet the bed, but I still like to keep the whole thing as private as possible.

To keep things inconspicuous, I like to wear the thinnest protection necessary to keep everything dry. I'm 130lbs, so youth and adult pull ups work well for my needs. Besides a diaper, I have a waterproof sheet above my above my mattress pad, but below my main sheet, which doesn't look strange since dorm mattresses are already waterproof.

Very rarely do I change inside of the room. Normally, I change into my goodnite when I take my evening shower. I slip one into the towel or pjs and change in the bathroom. The running water masks any crinkling. I repeat this process in the morning.

I put used pull ups in a grocery bag, and toss them immediately into my dorm's outside dumpster. Under no circumstances do I throw them into any inside trash bin.

 

[chamberpot]

, which doesn't look strange since dorm mattresses are already waterproof.

LOL and just why do you think this is the case... bed wetting is common enough that they take precautions.

To the OP just relax and go about taking care of getting into a pull-up or diaper as if it is the most normal thing in the world, explain that it is better then your roommate having to deal with the smell of a bed-wetters room

 

[Cottontail]

The nice thing about college is that most people aren't there to make waves. Not in the cliquey high-school-esque social sense, anyway. If your roommate finds out that you wear diapers, or if you open up about it, I seriously doubt it'll be a big deal. I bet it'll be a "whatever."

 

[Lyric]

I think getting a proper night of sleep, especially in college is very important. So you need to either let your roomy know, or work something out with the school for a private room.

 

[blaincorrous]

^ in America, universities will bleed you dry. Charging you rent that's comparable to the going rate for studios in the area while stuffing you what is basically a hostel is just par for the course.

It’s the reason most students move out and just manage with commmuting/buses. And then again, there are some universities that REQUIRE you to live on campus for the first year to make sure they bleed you dry.

American universities are mostly educational theme parks, and in similar fashion, they trap you into overpaying. And much like Disney, you’ll save a fortune if you say off campus. But beware the high end off campus dorms that offer “luxury student living”.

 

[MichaelK]

I just started college earlier this month, and I really thought I could manage something like bedwetting with a roommate, mostly because I feel super embarrassed to acknowledge it as a medical issue. Im almost certain the college would require something like a doctors note if I were to request a single room, which is completely reasonable, but Ive never told anyone about this. And im out of state, so finding a doctor in itself who takes my insurance is a massive hassle.

Im just having a hard time managing it in a way that feels private. I go to bed super late, because I wait til my Roomate is asleep to change into a diaper/ put a pad on the bed, and wake up super early to change. Its just a super uncomfortable situation, and I dont even know if id qualify for special housing.

Does anyone have advice on managing nighttime incontinence in a dorm with a Roomate? How to do things discretely? I feel very uncomfortable and do not know what decision to make, I feel very tired and stressed. As a kid, I didn't go to summer camps with other kids. I once read several articles about child abuse and how to protect children from emotional harm https://www.ourkidthings.com/how-to-protect-your-children-from-child-abuse-a-parents-guide/ I found some of the tips for parents helpful. But all these tips are more suitable for schoolchildren and this is easier, because they live at home in their state. I don't know how to organize my routine in a college dorm.

Studying in college can have various stresses, complex curriculums... It is unlikely that you will be able to constantly live in such a regime that would go to bed late and get up early. If it would be possible to get permission for a separate room, then this would be a great solution, but if this is not possible, I sympathize with you, I hope you find a solution.

I thought about how to find a solution in such a situation. I had similar problems and I thought what advice could be given. But I studied in my city and I did not need to live in a hostel ... Unfortunately, I probably won’t be able to give you useful advice, I hope you find a solution and everything will be fine with you.