Upcoming Surgery, I lied...

NateSean said:

Yeah, we're total wimps not wanting to feel or gums sliced up to remove a couple of teeth that don't actually have to be removed. (My wisdom teeth came in during my freshman year of high school and they're still in there. Maybe some people have a genuine need to remove them but it's never come up for me. Anyone up for anyone up for drug free appendectomy?

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Depends on 1) if it's impacted and 2) if it's causing problems. Dentists and oral surgeons will recommend removal for impacted ones even if they're not causing problems because they want the cash though. Oral surgeon saw my bottom two were impacted at 16 and wanted to take them of course - and put me under for it. Still got 'em, but now I have a hole in my gums and decay and all that fun stuff, so it's moved into the territory of ''probably really should be removed but I'm going to put this off as long as possible''.

Also seems like you don't quite get the difference between a derogatory remark and one that's made more with the goal of some light poking fun at oneself. If general anesthetic is enough to keep a person from feeling major discomfort from a procedure, I don't see why being put under would be general practice, unless the person requested it. Removing a regular tooth is easy as pie (I've had it done). Seeing I haven't undergone impacted tooth removal, I can't comment on exactly how that feels - but I would personally prefer to stay awake unless absolutely required.

KimbaWolfNagihiko said:

Depends on 1) if it's impacted and 2) if it's causing problems. Dentists and oral surgeons will recommend removal for impacted ones even if they're not causing problems because they want the cash though. Oral surgeon saw my bottom two were impacted at 16 and wanted to take them of course - and put me under for it. Still got 'em, but now I have a hole in my gums and decay and all that fun stuff, so it's moved into the territory of ''probably really should be removed but I'm going to put this off as long as possible''.

Also seems like you don't quite get the difference between a derogatory remark and one that's made more with the goal of some light poking fun at oneself. If general anesthetic is enough to keep a person from feeling major discomfort from a procedure, I don't see why being put under would be general practice, unless the person requested it. Removing a regular tooth is easy as pie (I've had it done). Seeing I haven't undergone impacted tooth removal, I can't comment on exactly how that feels - but I would personally prefer to stay awake unless absolutely required.

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Impacted teeth they actually have to dig in and remove entire sections to get at it When I had my wisdom teeth taken out it was a 7 hour long procedure for all 4

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You note drugs can possibly make you wet yourself....so why wouldn't you want some form of protection????? I would be more embarrassed at noting on my record that I used / needed bedwetting protection and then not using it and making a wet mess of me and the bed. Tell you wife not to make a big deal about it and neither will the hospital staff.

cm90210 said:

Here and there, if I'm drugged up or sick, I find that I end up wetting in sleep but even then, I'm usually at least partially delirious - it's not full blown enuresis like I had developed before.

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It sounds to me like you are incontinent to a small degree and should wear DIAPERS for the surgery. I've seen too many people on here who describe themselves as incontinent and then deny that they are incontinent.

Incontinence is the involuntary loss of control of bodily waste discharge, whether it's a small amount or all of it, it's still incontinence.

And I agree with other people who said you should just tell your wife you're concerned about leakage and need to wear a diaper. Hopefully she'll understand and be helpful.

putte said:

I have got to ask....why do you americans use so much drugs when extracting a wisdom tooth? :O

in sweden you are only supposed to get a local anesthetic

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I agree with this:

Slomo said:

Greed actually. Doctors and surgery centers can bill for a lot more money when they knock someone out. There's a lot more support systems, staff, drugs, etc that go into it versus just one simple local anesthetic. Of course that drives up our out of pocket medical costs too though.

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And in my case. I've had teeth pulled without being put under, even though the local anesthetic doesn't work on me and mine have been extremely difficult for the dentists to remove (putting their entire weight and strength into it). But if it's not an emergency they won't do it and the times I've had several removed at once I had to go to an oral surgeon where they put me under. Thanks to my severe case of dental fluorosis I need to get all but 4 of my teeth removed and get dentures. But thanks to my other medical problems and my homelessness I've had to do my own refills of what stubs I have left for over a decade. But my wisdom teeth came in just fine except, they were coming in when I was using the fluoride toothpaste and three of them got exposed to that poison and those three immediately started rotting like most of the rest of my teeth, but the last one didn't come in until a little while after I stopped using fluoride and it was perfect (like the rest of my teeth were before that stupid experiment). So they insisted on removing the good one since they were removing the rotten ones anyway.

Had all my teeth pulled for dentures local anesthetic only.

KimbaWolfNagihiko is your icon Yoko from Geurren Laggan? She looks so familiar to me.

ArchtopK said:

KimbaWolfNagihiko is your icon Yoko from Geurren Laggan? She looks so familiar to me.

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No - Satanichia a.k.a. Satania from Gabriel DropOut.

As someone who's spent time in the hospital on 'both sides of the isle" so to speak. Just wear the diaper. The staff is already expecting you to wear it, you're not the first person those nurses have seen wear one and you won't be the last. so them laughing at you is hardly a concern. (just don't show up in an ABDL themed diaper) surgeons don't give a crap what you wear they just care about how easy your body is to fix, and if your operation is on your nose and you've told the staff that you're wearing incontinence protection the surgery team might not even cath you (don't quote me on this, i'm not a currently licensed professional). ask anyone involved in medicine and the patients they'll talk about isn't some guy coming in for surgery wearing a diaper. it's the people that come in the hospital and don't do a thing the staff tells them to but still expects to recover %100 in a short amount of time.

putte said:

I have got to ask....why do you americans use so much drugs when extracting a wisdom tooth? :O

in sweden you are only supposed to get a local anesthetic

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Depends on the tooth really. I've had all six (yes, six) of mine removed with locals, but four were impacted, one of them required three people to remove... man my jaw was sore for days after that one.

Nowadays you can send your kid in when they're young and have them dig out the buds. That's THE way to go if you have a family history of a small jaw.

w0lfpack91 said:

Impacted teeth they actually have to dig in and remove entire sections to get at it When I had my wisdom teeth taken out it was a 7 hour long procedure for all 4

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bambinod said:

Depends on the tooth really. I've had all six (yes, six) of mine removed with locals, but four were impacted, one of them required three people to remove... man my jaw was sore for days after that one.

Nowadays you can send your kid in when they're young and have them dig out the buds. That's THE way to go if you have a family history of a small jaw.

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Thanks for giving me more reasons to stay the hell away from getting mine removed. :eek!:

Thanks everyone for your replies. Encouraging to say the least.

Fascinating said:

However, I think the main issue has nothing to do with the lie or the nurse. What is most important is the relationship with your wife. Only you know her well enough to know how to get through this in a way that strengthens that relationship. Prayers that you reach a solution that works for you both.

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Thanks for your concern I know you mean it. I might've accidentally implied that my wife isn't accepting of diapers, etc., in general. In reality, she's been amazingly kind and open minded about the whole thing. We have good boundaries with each other and talk about it. The embarrassment thing is just that she gets embarrassed about the thought of me wearing them in public, or being seen by other people like in a hospital setting. She's not shaming or pushing embarrassment on me at home or anything. Some of what was suggested on this thread will be helpful when I talk with her about wearing a diaper to surgery. I don't want to be sneaking that around her or anything. She's in the medical field herself too so that may be part of why I imagine she's against it, she knows the other side and what nurses/docs/etc. talk about. It was the same thing for my prior surgery when I really was still wetting the bed. I did end up wearing while in the hospital, but she thought it was weird and that I shouldn't; all the staff didn't seem to bat an eyelash though and I found it helpful on more than one level.

You're right though, this is the most important piece to make sure it's clear.

Scaramouche said:

Since you told them you need one, the hospital will be looking for you to have one. If you don't they will provide and maybe even insist you wear one.

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This is super helpful. Thanks for the perspective. I do think it's all written in my charts and the like. No idea if they'll make a big deal about it if I show up without one. I'm kind of curious though. I did get a packet in the mail with generic instructions and it said that patients should wear underwear under their hospital gowns.

JOCKMAN said:

You note drugs can possibly make you wet yourself....so why wouldn't you want some form of protection????? I would be more embarrassed at noting on my record that I used / needed bedwetting protection and then not using it and making a wet mess of me and the bed. Tell you wife not to make a big deal about it and neither will the hospital staff.

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Thanks. I hadn't thought a lot about that aspect of it until I started to write the original post. But it's true. Essentially any time I get a migraine and take my hardcore pain relief to address it, I get diapered. It's just habit. But it might also be that its necessity and that I've not seen it that way because I also LIKE to wear them. Confusing.

tails1234 said:

As someone who's spent time in the hospital on 'both sides of the isle" so to speak. Just wear the diaper. The staff is already expecting you to wear it, you're not the first person those nurses have seen wear one and you won't be the last. so them laughing at you is hardly a concern. (just don't show up in an ABDL themed diaper) surgeons don't give a crap what you wear they just care about how easy your body is to fix, and if your operation is on your nose and you've told the staff that you're wearing incontinence protection the surgery team might not even cath you (don't quote me on this, i'm not a currently licensed professional). Ask anyone involved in medicine and the patients they'll talk about isn't some guy coming in for surgery wearing a diaper. it's the people that come in the hospital and don't do a thing the staff tells them to but still expects to recover %100 in a short amount of time.

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Thanks. I think you're probably right. Anytime my wife (in medical field too) tells me about a patient that frustrated her (always in generics, never violating HIPA etc), the person is usually young and just in a total mess health wise...dont' take care of themselves, don't make good decisions, don't follow doctors orders, eat terrible diet, etc. On occasion she'll tell me about someone with strange habits but usually its just an eyeroll thing, nothing that gets her blood pumping or anything.

KimbaWolfNagihiko said:

Thanks for giving me more reasons to stay the hell away from getting mine removed. :eek!:

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When they're impacted, leaving them in isn't always an option. They start to mess with the teeth they're up against.

A quick update...

After talking with my wife, I feel about the same as I did before. The conversation ended up having a slightly lighter in mood than I anticipated, but she reacted as I expected.

Her biggest concern is her own sense of embarrassment being attached to me as I go to surgery. In other words, if I were going alone, and she wouldn't have to interact with any of the staff or anything she wouldn't care what I wanted to do. But because she'll kind of be "in on the secret" that I sort of need diapers, but primarily need/like them psychologically (and that's weird). She feels like she'll have to hold up the other end of the bargain and "act normal" like I would be doing, and that's an embarrassing prospect for her. All this, i guess I understand. I mean, my first impulse regarding diapers is that its shameful and embarrassing as well. The public/cultural relationship to diapers in America is that it IS something to be ashamed of (even if you actually need them for physical abnormalities or problems). And all of this says nothing of the erroneous fetish/pedophile judgments people have about those of us who like to wear them for fun.

Anyways, It became clear pretty quick in the conversation that she's not quite to the place of acceptance and "OK-ness" that I am when it comes to my diapers. I mean, she's not shaming me or telling me that I can't wear them at home or in bed or whatever. But its clear that she'd prefer this not to be a part of my life at all. (And honestly so would I, but I've given up that hope...maybe she hasn't). She's convinced that its very very very strange for a 30-something couple to be showing up wearing full blown diapers to anything. And in that judgment, I can't help but agree...although I'm not so sure it's perfectly accurate. Maybe unusual...maybe really unusual...but it happens. Most of the people she takes care of who are in diapers however are older and so this is the source of embarrassment for her.

I told her that the nurse had indicated it was all in my chart and was super matter-of-fact about it -- and that also they'd probably be expecting me to wear one (as you all reminded me). But she brushed that off pretty quick, "no one reads through all that stuff, no one is even going to see it...let alone expect it." IDK, she's the medical person, probably knows better than me.

She also reminded me that after my last surgeries, even though I had diapers in the hospital room afterwards, I didn't wear them to surgery. And furthermore that my issue after those procedures was far more about retention than incontinence. Both true. However, the previous ones were abdominal and so I had to be newborn naked in those cases, a diaper would've been out of the question regardless. She's right though that I did have issues with retention and so maybe my worry about wetting while under are way overblown even for me and my history. She suggested I just put one on after surgery and I could do as I like once we've left the place.

You all probably think I'm over-thinking this. And I probably am. Thanks for bearing with me.

My intention at this point is to just wear a diaper as planned. And ask my wife to just be calm and normal about it. To respond that "he needs it when he's on drugs or sleeping really hard" or "they said for him to have it on when we registered" if anyone gives her questions or strange looks about it; which as you all say, will probably not happen. If a nurse tells me not to wear one or confronts me about it or says its weird or I can't have it, I don't intend on insisting or having a fight about it. I don't want to have drama or to draw any more attention to my diaper wearing than absolutely necessary.

My attitude is to just go into it like this is perfectly normal for me; which it is.

Any further wisdom from the group here would be appreciated. Lol. I'm going to go do some deep breathing haha.
Still just over a week away from the surgery date.


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When I did my fourth psychiatric inpatient hospital stay 7 months ago I had to strip in front of a staff member and guess what I was wearing? It was a pull up non ABDL themed and I could see it didn't even phase the dude and actually didn't phase me either. And I just asked during intake if I could wear a pull up under the pretense that I suffer IBS which I do but it's been quite a while since an accident though. Anyways, being padded relaxed me and I think they probably put it all together but I was there for me and if the staff didn't like it well they can work somewhere else. So don't worry. Be yourself. Feel relaxed.

I have been on both sides of the bed rails, as career i was Paramedic/Firefighter/ Nurse and now my health has taken a dump , we don't care if patients wear diapers (actually we care when they need them and don't wear them)we see diapers in our sleep they don't bother us , i have "woken" up in ICU more times then you can count both in diapers and with a catheter , when they try and take the cath I tell them leave it, it will just make your life more complicated having to change me (I have not won that argument yet) , so honestly don't worry about diaper or pull up use ,they are more common in healthcare then you could possibly know ,they are just part of the job,and seldom have i seen or heard someone making jokes about a patients continence because they would be censured for that, i will say in times of stress and boredom we play little games , like giving things beter names or more appropriate names ( the best one thus far was "surgilube" being renamed "anal slick" ) so tell your wife to chill and don't feel guilty , you would be surprised at the number of people who use diapers for one thing or another!

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So here's the thing. I feel guilty lol.

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I'd feel bad if it were imposing on someone. But they don't care. This is routine stuff, and hardly an imposition. They think nothing of it at all.

This is the perfect opportunity to do so without worrying what others think; they are there to cater and you can just enjoy the comfort without a second thought.

Prairie said:

This is the perfect opportunity to do so without worrying what others think;

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This is my first thought as well. It's like the perfect storm haha


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Tetra said:

I have been on both sides of the bed rails, as career i was Paramedic/Firefighter/ Nurse...

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Tell me if you would, have you had many patients who were youngish (say, under 40) who everything else considering seemed to be normal health and normal psychologically - but who also were in diapers to your surprise? I just wonder how many people paramedics come across wearing diapers...who aren't like uber old or uber medically compromised (paralyzed or something).



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At least 3000 , there is a huge population of people who are not all aged and infirm or crippled up who wear , i was in my mid 30's when i lost continence by all outward apperaces i was a robust specimen of health beyond needing a diaper , and unfortunately life is fickle you can be alone minding your business driving your car or eating a sandwich and "wake up" in an ambulance with someone like me cutting your clothes off in the case of major trauma , thats not the time you worry about that diaper your wearing for better or worse for whatever reason you wear it, it is what it is, and it's far nicer finding your patient has a diaper strapped to them then a big gun that's just paperwork we don't need .There is no crime anytime when possessing a diaper for any reason real or imagined ?

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I had several operations at 17 years old (that‘s nearly 30 years ago) and mentioned that I sometimes liked when laying down long (not very elaborate explanation). They noted it in the file and provided me with pads throughout the stay. This happened several time! On the last operation of my wife, in her room was a supply of diverse site pads, so it is indeed very common.


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