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Est. Contributor
  1. Diaper Lover
Often I wonder why and how? Why did I start wearing diapers? Why do I like wearing them? How did it all start? How come I can't stop wanting to wear them? What made me want to wear them the first time I did? When did it really start to take effect? What drew me to it the very first time? Anyone else ever feel this way or have these thoughts? I have an accepting wife that knows about my love for wearing diapers yet I feel embarrassed sometimes. I don't know why I feel that way. I've accepted it as part of who I am or so I thought I have. Sometimes I try and figure out what it is about them that I love so much that they keep calling back to me when I give them up for any period of time. I can't figure out why I sit here right now thinking about putting one on and why it sometimes becomes such a struggle to not wear them. They don't control my life or anything like that. I still live normally and do things wearing and not wearing. It's just those times when I have nothing to do that my urge gets strong. Maybe I'm alone with these thoughts. I know I had a good childhood. I wasn't abused. I wasn't forced into anything. Yet I have these desires that I really don't understand.
It's a recurring question here. I do ponder it from time to time but I try not to spend a lot of energy on it because I see it as a something that is really unknowable, at least by me at this point. The formation is too far back and our own memories are unreliable. When so much of it was driven internally, as soon as I learned it wasn't appropriate (which was age 3-4), there's no record but those inherently flawed memories. I think if it wasn't so socially taboo, we wouldn't bother with the question nearly so much. I don't ask myself with any urgency why I liked Star Wars so much or what's so great about artichokes but because this is alien to so many, we're inclined to try and figure out what's wrong with us to like such a strange thing.

These days, I'm way more interested in looking forward and doing good stuff with it rather than looking back to a cause that I don't think would edify me much if I knew.
Well said Trevor. Me to a T
Really don't look back on it to often, just sometimes wonder where it all started. I can remember when I first wanted to wear a diaper and when I first wore one. Just wished sometimes I could explain to myself and my wife where the urge comes from. She has asked me the whole why question before when I first came out to her about it. It was hard because I had no answer for her.
Trevor said:
I think if it wasn't so socially taboo, we wouldn't bother with the question nearly so much. I don't ask myself with any urgency why I liked Star Wars so much or what's so great about artichokes but because this is alien to so many, we're inclined to try and figure out what's wrong with us to like such a strange thing.

Ha ha! I'd never thought of it like that before! :smile:

With my armchair made-up-psychotherapy hat on, I'd say that diapers represented something you craved at a particular point in your life. If (like me) you became interested in wearing them when you were still a young kid, then maybe there's some unconscious psychological association between diapers and, say, being safe... or having no responsibilities, or of being loved/accepted/cared-for/attended-to...

Maybe at some time I wanted to take a break from being a grown-up five-year-old, and diapers seemed like the icon of my desires -- if I was back in diapers, I'd be a little kid, kept safe, etc. I've probably always been quite anxious. But I had a really happy childhood and wonderful parents, so it's surprising how the mind can create these bizarre associations that persist and become an almost ingrained desire in people... :-/

I dunno... :-/ I wouldn't recognise "the answer" if it hit me in the face. It's fun (and interesting) to guess, but like Trevor says, it's probably best not to dwell on it too long and let it trouble you. Onwards and upwards! Be proud of who you are! There's nothing wrong or immoral in wearing diapers, so love yourself for being yourself!
I think that we either forget or don't want to accept that even very young children experience some sort of infantile sexual stimulus to certain things, diapers sometimes being one of them. That stimulus at such a young, formative age then becomes very psychologically, deep seated, which is why this desire of wanting diapers isn't going away.
dogboy said:
I think that we either forget or don't want to accept that even very young children experience some sort of infantile sexual stimulus to certain things, diapers sometimes being one of them. That stimulus at such a young, formative age then becomes very psychologically, deep seated, which is why this desire of wanting diapers isn't going away.

suddenly it all makes sense now. i remember when i was little six years old kid, how very sexualy amused i got by the thought of diapers. i remember the time when my sister had a baby doll and a few diapers for it, and when i took one of those obviously way too small diapers and tried to wear it, my sexual amusment meter went off the charts.

it's very likely that you're right. i still remember how much i craved diapers while growing up. i wanted to wear them so bad, and i still remember why: i loved the thought of being able to mess myself whenever i wanted to. and every time i heard the word diaper, my heartbeat went up.

now that i'm fulfilling my lifelong fantasy, i still get sexually excited when i wear or think about wearing. i belive that being a DL is just a part of who i am and i accepted it :)
Cause you're born dis way.
I do feel the body remember's we are set up to survive in nature .
When when something happens to us chemicals are released in the body these chemicals are set up for us to react in certain ways.
Hence fighter flight if you experience something then the body set you up chemically to react to it.
So so figure you were in diapers for 2 years 3 years straight being taken care of and sometimes diaper changes are very intimate and comforting.
Now now you know I may not remember it consciously but subconsciously your body may remember how good it felt to be in a nice clean diaper how good it felt to be in a warm diaper. Just the feeling of a diaper the body may remember not on a conscious level how good it felt or the taking care of part comfort safe feels good mom just changed you.
It can even be traced back to the love held after you were changed all these things are comfort they feel good so maybe your subconscious remembered this and then when you tried that time those feelings resurfaced.

When when my mom put me back into diapers at first or second grade I had this feeling it was just the one of most wonderful feeling there was I felt loved and it felt so good and from that point on I want to be a baby.
So some part of me remembered how good it felt to be taken care of and that hooked me.

A lot of don't know what really triggered us in my case I do.
but at a certain age we remember what feels good and at a certain age we go to repeat that no I still feel the body remembers so at an older age we can essentially retrigger those feelings and because those feelings are there we remember it feels good and then we try to repeat it and I'm sure in the animal kingdom it's the same way if it feels good the animals will want to continue to do it.

We just have the trate I don't feel that we were all that abnormal I feel that because there are so many just like us that possibly this is a part ofa mechanism that comes from thousands of years of evolution.

It's just been triggered in a certain way.
Funny funny how we always try to ask at what started this and maybe sometimes this isn't so much at the surface as much as subconsciously.
You got to remember there a lot of nerves down there and stimulating those nerves there's a lot of feelings.
So so the diapers stimulate those nerves and when things are done in that area those nerves to pick up those feelings.
Us guys can't help but we're wearing our sexual organs on the outside they're very sensitive.

I I think it's not so much why as learning to accept yourself is who you are you're not alone there are many like you maybe slightly different in some cases but we're all the same we like our diapers and why not they felt good when they were changed they felt good we were wearing them its just as a baby we're not consciously aware of this because of our attention span is so short but if we try it at a later age than we remember.
How good it feels.
Very well said Foxkits.

The following is purely opinion: Whenever we are that young, there's no difference or recognition of a difference between sexual stimulation and non-sexual stimulation. In the beginning we know absolutely nothing. Shortly afterwords the only thing we know is stimulation. At that state we know that some things feel good and other things don't feel good. And our brains develop around that. While our minds continue to develop we realize that some things feel really good and maybe some things feel really bad. Because we know nothing besides these basic rudimentary feelings, whenever our brains develop to the point of association, those things that were good are great and those things that were bad are horrible. This is why I believe that people are so different because brains develop in different ways, and associate things together at different rates. We being in the diaper loving community began associating joys and pleasure at a very early age, so we all (i believe at least) have a connection to ABhood, at least in some form. Sure not all of us want to dress up as a baby but we all love diapers. Some of us may enjoy messing while others do not, and some may enjoy drinking out of a bottle while others could completely care less; but the underlying connection between all of us is that we love diapers. I believe this is do to the fact that a diaper is the most specifically related thing to babyhood. Sure we know now that it can also be related to being old, but when we were young when had no ideas of that. I think my opinion has merit here too, since when we are first being potty trained (something people have their earliest memories of sometime), our parents are explaining to us, forcing upon us, the ideology that potty is for grown up and diaper is for baby. So essentially one of the very first associations we can remember making is that exact lesson. If I where a diaper I am a baby, but if I am not wearing a diaper I am a child/adult. A diaper is really the first and biggest association we ever made about being a baby. And as previously mentioned being a baby is appealing to us sexually/comfortingly due to the fact that at very early ages (maybe earlier than most people) our minds developed to associate good and bad.

Something I remember from my diaper/pull ups/training pant days was my changing fixations. There were several things in my development that made me feel overwhelmingly calm for no reason. One common association was sucking of the thumb. Everyone's had this fixation because when we were in the process of developing we associated sucking with good or pleasure. How? Milk! We sucked our bottles or mother's breast and this gave us food, the sweet taste of milk. We immediately associated sucking on something with good. That is why the thumb was a great alternative later on. I also remember specifically whenever I sucked on my thumb, I had even more extreme comfort/pleasure from rubbing the tag on the back of my shirt between my thumb and fingers. There was something with the texture and feeling of rubbing the tag while sucking my thumb that was like cloud 9, maybe the velvety vibration it made. At that time we had no way to distinguish something as sexual gratification, but now that we are older we do. I've read some articles on the affect of forcing a child into different stages of development or rushing individual stages that seem to cause a sexual fixation on later in life. This makes a lot of sense to me because I don't have any fixation/yearning whatsoever with sucking my thumb anymore. I think this is because when we first move into a new stage of development all we know is that initial association with good or bad. Over time and growing into the stage we develop/learn enough to realize that the initial association we made is far to simple. We learn for example, that sucking is not actually the root cause of good. We learn there are more things than sucking that we can associate with good. And as we learn more things, naturally our need to suck our thumbs goes away because we don't need it to feel good anymore. It's the same concept of flooding a market by printing money. Before your dollar meant a lot because there weren't a lot in the world. Now that there are many in existence, your dollar has intrinsically less value. I believe the exact same concept can be applied with early development. Once we learn there are more things in the world that cause us pleasure we can value the basic/archaic methods of finding happiness null, like sucking a thumb. When, however, we are rushed/coerced/forced through a developmental stage we are never given the chance of letting it go through natural selection. Instead it is forced into the back of our minds as being a root cause for pleasure. We don't have the ability to naturally learn there are other sources of pleasure, so our brains lock it away. And when we grow up it will always in our minds be associated with happiness. This is probably another reason why we love diapers. Perhaps we were rushed through the diaper/potty process and locked it away. Other fetishes in the world such as BDSM, love of plastic, etc. have a lot to do as well with early developmental association.

I apologize for repeating some of the points made above, but I find this topic fascinating. Also I think have a different perspective on this stuff since I have another fetish that is completely unique to babyism (that I'm very confidant no one on this site has ever heard of).

I look upon ABDL as a blessing because we ended up with a fetish that is completely harmless and relatively cheap, which is unfortunately not the case for all people.

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A lot of interesting incite so far. I like it. I have accepted who I am. Even though sometimes I do feel embarrassment when wearing sometimes. I think it's cause sharing it is still so new to me. For years I hid my fetish from everyone. Wasn't till I was caught by my wife that I was out in the open about it. I like many others, thought I could stop the urge to wear them for love. That lasted for a few years. Then the urge got so strong that I had to wear one. Been wearing quite a bit since my wife found out and accepted it. I just remember being so afraid she would reject me for it and leave me. Though I have never been able to answer her only question "why?". That's why from time to time I think about it. Thank you all for the input so far. It is nice to not feel alone in the not knowing. :detective3
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