Why the Stigma to Adult Diapers?

[Zeke]

There are more than a few folks here that only a fool would want to mistakenly consider weak, hence unable to defend themselves. As I have stated so many times, 90+% of Stigma is what you hold regarding your wearing diapers! If Nature was so damning of those creatures that are incontinent, most of nature would be damned as so few are continent!

The difference in the way animals treat one another in nature has always been the difference between them and human beings…we treat our fellow humans far worse! Compassion, and the ability to place yourself in their condition, empathy, has been the redeeming value in human character….of some anyhow.

 

[odd1inSyde]

Because they are (unfairly) associated with relinquishing control, weakness, and depending on others.

 

[weethepeople]

The title says it all. Why is there a stigma? Let me say why this question came to mind and then I’ll post my thoughts.

While YouTube surfing, I found a prank video where a young woman walked around the Florida beaches in a bikini top and a diaper bottom. The gist was to catch the reactions of bystanders; and they got plenty. Mostly snickering; some shock; pointing and commenting; etc. In one sense, she looked like any of the other gals walking around in their bathing suits. Only difference was her bottom attire. But it got me thinking … why the stigma?

I get it. A diaper is associated with one’s youth; and then we are supposed to grow out of it. And as we mature, we mature in what we present ourselves to the world with: in this rant, our clothing. But when we need an aid for living and we have to have a diaper on (or even if one chooses to wear a diaper because they like/want it), then why is there a shame? A stigma?

For me, it was that my nether regions were not working like they used to. And diapers, catheters, etc. was the inviolable proof. But I am not an infant. Nor do I want to associated as one. And frankly, while I miss my old continency there has been a heap of times where being diapered was the best thing (dare I say feeling) ever. And while 99.99% of the world doesn’t know what’s hidden underneath and while the few (family, medical) that do have no issues, when it comes out, there is still a very brief “sting”. Perhaps I am my own cause for the stigma?

Thoughts? Comments?

This is a great topic .. I have two different things , one because I have to while the other is by choice which are somewhat similar ..
I use an adult nappy at night as you'd suspect . I have to be at work before 6 am so this alleviates the extra washing when it happens during the night . I also have a pull up at the ready during the day if my OAB is giving me a hard time .. The other thing is a passion.. Whenever I go hiking or bushwalking I love to do so in a traditional or purpose made kilt for hiking.. It's fun and super comfy and practical given incontinence matters ..no zips to get in the way in trousers or shorts .. Re the nappy/diaper thing . My continence nurse told me , they are just an appropriate clothing option that millions of adults around the world use for security and protection. It shouldn't carry any stigma of immaturity in the same way as when young babies and children.. It's not immaturity , it's a medical need for most of us . The same stigma applies by some people to kilts calling them skirts ..While technically they are and even defined that way in dictionaries they are primarily designed male garment dating back centuries , Some though classify them as girly or sissy or whatever . .. Not unlike how some see nappies/ diapers .
Stigma exists but in both cases this is wrong ....It's discrimination ...that's what it is ..,

 

[CheshireCat]

Personally, I don't believe the stigma is adult diapers. I believe that any health issue disturbs the majority of the general population.

Many, many people have trouble going to a hospital to visit a family member, let alone a friend. Many a husband has an issue regarding their wife's menses, and that's not even a health issue.

Because we deal with incontinence that is our focus. If someone asks about my health and I mention that I'm a prostate cancer survivor, women are disinterested and men cringe. But they will happily quote the "myths" surrounding prostate cancer treatment. If I mention having had testicular cancer, men recoil. When someone asks how I lost my wife and hear cancer, they don't want any further details. People are terrified about their own health. Seeing or knowing someone with health issues makes their own mortality that much more apparent. Most people take Carpe Diem seriously, to their own peril.

 

[AttilaThePun]

Personally, I don't believe the stigma is adult diapers. I believe that any health issue disturbs the majority of the general population.

Many, many people have trouble going to a hospital to visit a family member, let alone a friend. Many a husband has an issue regarding their wife's menses, and that's not even a health issue.

Because we deal with incontinence that is our focus. If someone asks about my health and I mention that I'm a prostate cancer survivor, women are disinterested and men cringe. But they will happily quote the "myths" surrounding prostate cancer treatment. If I mention having had testicular cancer, men recoil. When someone asks how I lost my wife and hear cancer, they don't want any further details. People are terrified about their own health. Seeing or knowing someone with health issues makes their own mortality that much more apparent. Most people take Carpe Diem seriously, to their own peril.

All those are good points!

Also, people seem to have a combination of revulsion and morbid fascination when it comes to someone else's urine and fecal matter being deposited anywhere but into a toilet, when the age to complete potty training has passed and the age of senile incontinence has not yet been reached. Sort of an unspoken (if those of us who are IC are lucky, at least) "Ewwwww, thank g-d it's not me! But, tell me all the gory details!" attitude.

 

[Napincolove]

If you cut your finger you put on a band aid, if there us a lot of blood you put on a bandage, so if you leak Urine or Decal matter what do you do ?
They are merely medical appliances to alleviate/ minimise people's problems with a bodily issue.
For those that have a problem with that GROW UP !

 

[Freddie07601]

@slimjiminy no it will not. However, as health issues leading to incontinence becomes more common, therefore more accepted, in one's age group, it progressively gets accepted or acknowledged.

Yes, that has been my experience. A combination of high functioning ASD (with some stimming) and incontinence brought some merciless teasing when I was young. As I learned to interpret social cues, life became easier. Most people no longer even recognized that I was wearing diapers. Now, in my 70's, I am hardly noticed when I am out and about. If I need to change a diaper in a public restroom, I feel no need to try to hide what I am doing.

 

[Zeke]

There are more than a few folks here that only a fool would want to mistakenly consider weak, hence unable to defend themselves. As I have stated so many times, 90+% of Stigma is what you hold regarding your wearing diapers! If Nature was so damning of those creatures that are incontinent, most of nature would be damned as so few are continent!

A fool in deed, especially us older folks to whom a life sentence doesn’t hold nearly as much of a deterrent property!

 

[Edgewater]

A fool in deed, especially us older folks to whom a life sentence doesn’t hold nearly as much of a deterrent property!

So, very true, good friend, so very true!

 

[CLPP]

Way back when, I was one of those who made Depend jokes…until I tried them myself. Just last week I was sitting around a firepit with some friends swilling beer and smoking weed and a joke was made about adult diapers and I defended wearing them and revealed I was diapered just then. Those friends, while taken by surprise, have known me for many years and know I’ve got some physical challenges and were very open to my sharing my experiences and why I wear them. I’m betting that one of them, at least, will try wearing. I’m not apologizing anymore for things like wearing diapers. Time to defeat the stigma!

 

[NotTheAverageMan]

I’m not hiding the fact that I’m incontinent and need diapers, although I don’t go around and advertise about me wearing and using adult diapers either.
But if someone asks me, I’ll tell.

 

[Wetshisbed]

I think once you get to a certain age no one is bothered. It was s great source of amusement when I was in my teens and wearing nappies to bed every night.

 

[Wetshisbed]

I think once you get to a certain age no one is bothered. It was s great source of amusement when I was in my teens and wearing nappies to bed every night.

I’m not hiding the fact that I’m incontinent and need diapers, although I don’t go around and advertise about me wearing and using adult diapers either.
But if someone asks me, I’ll tell.

I dont hide my nappies nor flaunt them either. Honestly I just don't care anymore if people find out I wear nappies it is their problem if it bothers them not mine.

 

[Tenaman]

Incontinence is a medical condition that thankfully seems to be getting a bit more ‘airtime’ on ads nowadays though mostly for female products. Otherwise it still seems to be considered as a problem that only old people with other issues such as dementia suffer from. As a 60+ year old male who has had problems off and on from childhood, though really made worse since a spinal injury, the fact that I have to wear nappies is only known by my wife, my now grown up children, a very small number of extremely close friends and the medical staff I have come into contact with over the years. I think I manage to deal with it pretty discreetly at work. And I have been challenged a few times when using a disabled loo to change. The sad thing is that if you cut yourself you use a plaster but having to wear a nappy is still associated with being wet, smelly, dirty, a baby. And so for me it is an intensely private thing to have to deal with.