Wheelchair users - changing self in public

[L2Sci]

Looking for advice from fellow wheelchair users. I am an incomplete para who works in an office.

What are your tips and tricks for changing inthe stalls? Specifically for #2.

Do you just go home or try to clean up and stay?

 

[InconLifer]

I can't change in regular toilets. Changing Places toilets are the best as they have an adult sized changing table. If one of them isn't nearby I go to a regular disabled toilet and lay on the floor on a disposable bed mat. The issue there is finding a toilet that has the space for my wheelchair and the space for me to lie down. It's pretty difficult though and it's easier if my Dad changes me if he's with me.

I'm fortunate in that I do have some mobility and can attempt to change standing up, resting on my chair for balance but it's awkward with powder and boosters. I have just waited until I've got home when I've been unable to find a suitable toilet. Fortunately, in London at least, Changing Places toilets are becoming more common but there are still areas without many and often they're not easy to access as it requires finding a member of staff as some don't like making them easily accessible via a RADAR key. I went to The O2 arena a while ago, tried to use it and no one knew how to open it.

 

[Edgewater]

In the US, there has been a growing number of 'Family' Toilets! But sadly, accessories vary widely. So, other than more space, better lighting and generally a larger trash container, it's little more than basic IC needs, let alone wheelchair support.

 

[InconLifer]

In the US, there has been a growing number of 'Family' Toilets! But sadly, accessories vary widely. So, other than more space, better lighting and generally a larger trash container, it's little more than basic IC needs, let alone wheelchair support.

Ah! Trash containers can be an issue here. Was out today and the disabled toilet at London Bridge station didn't have a bin. I just bag them up and leave them on the floor in the corner in that situation which I don't like to do but if there isn't an alternative I don't know what I'm supposed to do! Finding a disabled toilet with all the necessary accessories is a nightmare!

 

[Edgewater]

Ah! Trash containers can be an issue here. Was out today and the disabled toilet at London Bridge station didn't have a bin. I just bag them up and leave them on the floor in the corner in that situation which I don't like to do but if there isn't an alternative I don't know what I'm supposed to do! Finding a disabled toilet with all the necessary accessories is a nightmare!

Have long been U-IC and traveled international. It has only been of late that the availability of fair sized toilet stalls have been large enough change a wet diaper let alone a loaded diaper. I have long carried a computer bag with wheels that had a wet store compartment that had saved me many times.

 

[Tetra]

Once the tapes go on I’m sealed , whatever happens in diaper stays until I either get home or to someplace with a hoyer lift & bed. I can’t independently diaper anymore , my aide is in charge of making me use/ diaper changing, I don’t know I need to go or feel when I am going .

 

[Bigbabybret]

yes its not easy!!!!

If you can find a family bathroom that will give you the physical room, depending o mobility and help will depend on you. I have at least a PCA with me anytime i'm out of the house so that i at least have some help with things when it's needed, but still rarely need to change when out.

Myself i have some mobility but standing for any length of time is not really a good idea and any sorta standing change is a no go and prob end up falling more than likely. I do carry with a bag of supplies in the van all the time and also a change in the wheelchair as well. I have only a couple time had to change from anything more than being wet whilst out. That was done in the van though, not in a stall or family bathroom, the van is usually fairly close, but usually speaking if need to cleanup it;s a trip back home, unless its just NOT possible. I dont BM even every day, often several days and usually need to take medication for that, so its not been too much an issue and can usually schedule this, which is good and bad.

Best option is to have options.

I suggest:
keep an eye out for places you can use in an emergency and/or for changes as needed. Family restrooms, Carer friendl restrooms, etc.

Have supplies with you, and also more in the car/van as well. This means somethign right on the wheelchair and backup in the van, i usually carry with a diaper/booster/wipes/empty bag in the wheelchair (got storage under the seat) Then couple changes in the van, full pack of wipes, extra diaper cover, extra clothes, diaper creams powder and everything in a backpack.

Try to plan outings when you less likely to need to BM if possible. or even plan on someplace to stop to take care of business if you figure you might need to.

Wear a good quality diaper and cover you can trust and will work for at much if not the whole day. I wear a megamax with booster, underwear and then a diaper cover. Will wear a snap crotch onesie usually as well, but not always depending on temps anticipated.

 

[InconLifer]

Thought about this thread today. Was out to physio by myself and had to change and my normal change stop: the cafe shop I have lunch in beforehand.

There’s only one toilet, which is accessible (not a Changing Places toilet so I have to put a bed mat on the floor and change lying down which is super difficult - changing myself is super difficult at the best of times!). Naturally, this took a while. This woman obviously thought I was taking too long and got a member of staff to knock on the door. I gave my normal reply of - “I’m disabled, things take me a while.”

That wasn’t the end of it though. After coming out the woman made a snide remark. Now, I may have expected this pre-wheelchair as I’m young and looked fine and dandy health wise (although changing didn’t take anywhere near as long back then!) but I was super annoyed that she could see I was in a wheelchair but still commented on how long I take when it’s not the easiest toilet to navigate a wheelchair in.

Has anyone else dealt with this issue? In some ways I can relate as I’ve had times I thought I may just make it in time, been in a queue and had an accident whilst waiting. However, disabled people could have all manner of things they may need to sort out and it’s ultimately not their fault that there’s only one toilet. I wouldn’t dream of moaning at someone for taking too long!

 

[Bigbabybret]

Thought about this thread today. Was out to physio by myself and had to change and my normal change stop: the cafe shop I have lunch in beforehand.

There’s only one toilet, which is accessible (not a Changing Places toilet so I have to put a bed mat on the floor and change lying down which is super difficult - changing myself is super difficult at the best of times!). Naturally, this took a while. This woman obviously thought I was taking too long and got a member of staff to knock on the door. I gave my normal reply of - “I’m disabled, things take me a while.”

That wasn’t the end of it though. After coming out the woman made a snide remark. Now, I may have expected this pre-wheelchair as I’m young and looked fine and dandy health wise (although changing didn’t take anywhere near as long back then!) but I was super annoyed that she could see I was in a wheelchair but still commented on how long I take when it’s not the easiest toilet to navigate a wheelchair in.

Has anyone else dealt with this issue? In some ways I can relate as I’ve had times I thought I may just make it in time, been in a queue and had an accident whilst waiting. However, disabled people could have all manner of things they may need to sort out and it’s ultimately not their fault that there’s only one toilet. I wouldn’t dream of moaning at someone for taking too long!

I've had a couple time when people were rather annoyed at the time i took, but usually after they see me (my head is all messed up from accident) and the wheelchair they usually say sorry, or something. Only once did i ever NOT get a sorry after someone knocking on the door.

I also these days am usually with my PCA so, when they see me being pused out and a helper with they really say sorry as they at that point recognize that its more than just getting on the toilet. I have to not only deal with the wheelchair, but also my back brace, diapers one bad leg and a not so good arm. Its not easy gettin on/off the chair as it is, and usually there are enough rails to get it done, but changing a diaper on a full size 250# person when my leg wont cooperate isnt very quick, tis i try to just do at home or even in the van is better. But i have found that the van harness i have does help the PCA to lift/help me getting around quite a bit and just leave it on when im out to use for getting in/out of the van and the wheelchair.

Basically what i comes down to is people are clueless and dont care about anything but thier own self.

Like, yes i have lumps and bumps on my head and also in a wheelchair with a harness and feet, but i've gotten a few times people trying to talk to me vey slow and loud, which i usually say, My body is broken but my Mind is just fine, what can i help you with.

You should have asked the person knocking if they want to come in and help you out. Or similar, Usually when you call people on beig dumb/idiots they get the point. Or when you came out, if she said more, should have said, oops forgot something and went back in there...make her wait more

But, usually if you call people on the stupid things they do, they might learn something, dont have to be mean, just let them know the world doesnt revolve around them.

If you see that person at that place again, every time she goes in the bathrrom immediatly go knock on the door and ask her if she is done yet...

Really if someone is impatient like that, I have had the PCA go talk to them, explain to them that i'm disabled and need help, and the time the PCA is talking to them is waisting time which will cause it to be longer as long as they are out talking to the person.

My one PCA from a few years back used to answer the door, and was a pretty confident spitfire of 5' tall 100lbs, and she would call them out immediatly...Nothig mean, Just explain that she is my Personal Care Assistant and she is there to help me with my needs, and her taking the time to talk to the person knocking at the door is causing me to wait till she can get back in the bathroom to continue to help me with my needs before the bathroom will be free.

She would be nice about it, untill someone was NOT nice to her or me and then she would lay into them very much.

But, sorry you and i think everyone has to deal with this, but there is nothing wrong in explaining to them the siuation and perhaps they will learn something.

Or maybe they would take up the "come in and help" offer, preferabbly with dealing with a messy diaper, they would learn rather quickly at that point

 

[InconLifer]

I've had a couple time when people were rather annoyed at the time i took, but usually after they see me (my head is all messed up from accident) and the wheelchair they usually say sorry, or something. Only once did i ever NOT get a sorry after someone knocking on the door.

I also these days am usually with my PCA so, when they see me being pused out and a helper with they really say sorry as they at that point recognize that its more than just getting on the toilet. I have to not only deal with the wheelchair, but also my back brace, diapers one bad leg and a not so good arm. Its not easy gettin on/off the chair as it is, and usually there are enough rails to get it done, but changing a diaper on a full size 250# person when my leg wont cooperate isnt very quick, tis i try to just do at home or even in the van is better. But i have found that the van harness i have does help the PCA to lift/help me getting around quite a bit and just leave it on when im out to use for getting in/out of the van and the wheelchair.

Basically what i comes down to is people are clueless and dont care about anything but thier own self.

Like, yes i have lumps and bumps on my head and also in a wheelchair with a harness and feet, but i've gotten a few times people trying to talk to me vey slow and loud, which i usually say, My body is broken but my Mind is just fine, what can i help you with.

You should have asked the person knocking if they want to come in and help you out. Or similar, Usually when you call people on beig dumb/idiots they get the point. Or when you came out, if she said more, should have said, oops forgot something and went back in there...make her wait more

But, usually if you call people on the stupid things they do, they might learn something, dont have to be mean, just let them know the world doesnt revolve around them.

If you see that person at that place again, every time she goes in the bathrrom immediatly go knock on the door and ask her if she is done yet...

Really if someone is impatient like that, I have had the PCA go talk to them, explain to them that i'm disabled and need help, and the time the PCA is talking to them is waisting time which will cause it to be longer as long as they are out talking to the person.

My one PCA from a few years back used to answer the door, and was a pretty confident spitfire of 5' tall 100lbs, and she would call them out immediatly...Nothig mean, Just explain that she is my Personal Care Assistant and she is there to help me with my needs, and her taking the time to talk to the person knocking at the door is causing me to wait till she can get back in the bathroom to continue to help me with my needs before the bathroom will be free.

She would be nice about it, untill someone was NOT nice to her or me and then she would lay into them very much.

But, sorry you and i think everyone has to deal with this, but there is nothing wrong in explaining to them the siuation and perhaps they will learn something.

Or maybe they would take up the "come in and help" offer, preferabbly with dealing with a messy diaper, they would learn rather quickly at that point

Sorry you’ve also had to deal with it. Glad your PCA was helpful in challenging people.

Yeah, it’s the first time someone has said something since I’ve been in a wheelchair. It’s easier if one of my parents is with me. Over it now but it did bring me down. I’ll have a period of feeling more positive about disability and then something will bring me crashing back down to reality!

 

[Diaperman95]

Ah! Trash containers can be an issue here. Was out today and the disabled toilet at London Bridge station didn't have a bin. I just bag them up and leave them on the floor in the corner in that situation which I don't like to do but if there isn't an alternative I don't know what I'm supposed to do! Finding a disabled toilet with all the necessary accessories is a nightmare!

The bathroom does not have a trash bin? or the stall does not have a trash bin? I am really outspoken against leaving spoiled diapers on the floor. We do not do that at our own homes. Or I would hope not. If not one in the entire restroom not a lot you can do but I don't think that happens much. If not in a stall I just try to be mature and do the right thing. I have asked people waiting inline to move from the front of a trash can so I can throw it away.It is not like I know them in most public restrooms. I understand it can be embarrassing as it use to be for me and sometimes still is. But I would not want my grand kid playing in someones dirty diaper. But I 100% can agree all toilets should have a bin next to them and it should be kept emptied out. People tossing diapers out in the parking lot baby or adult gets under my skin too. NorthShore has some well scented dark blue disposal bags that are perfect for these times. I have even changed in the car before and left my spoiled one in my diaper bag until I could dispose of it propper. what each of us does as incontinent or especially ABDL reflex on each other. This is why it bothers me. I once stopped at a truck stop bathroom and went into a stall. The cowboy hat dispenser of those things you set on was stuffed with a cheap tan medical diaper full of piss and shit. Just hanging on the wall. What kind of animal does that. They would not want to use that stall had I done that. we are not animals.. This is why we wear diapers to keep from leaving a trail of poop or pee.

 

[Diaperman95]

I wish had had advice for you my friend. This is one area out side my wheelhouse. I am disabled but not bound to a chair. I seen you listed incomplete.. C an you stand and put some weight on your legs? I have such bad back and hips and shoulders and fat too.. lol I can not reach my backside. I have came up with a easier clean up for me. As I pull the diaper away I try to wipe what I can away with the diaper. then I use a blue chux pad like a towel to wipe the rest away. I use a second chux pad and run warm water on it or spray it with a perineal cleaner I keep in my bag. I basically use it to floss my ass..... lol. Then I wipe what I can with a big disposable washcloth sold from Assurance at walmart. But being able to stand makes a huge difference I would think. I wish you the best of luck. Pm me if you ever want or need to talk or unload your frustration. I think this is the best incontinent support group in the world!!!!!!!!

 

[Bigbabybret]

Sorry you’ve also had to deal with it. Glad your PCA was helpful in challenging people.

Yeah, it’s the first time someone has said something since I’ve been in a wheelchair. It’s easier if one of my parents is with me. Over it now but it did bring me down. I’ll have a period of feeling more positive about disability and then something will bring me crashing back down to reality!

Dont let it get you down, just remember that they are self centered and ignorant as to how things are as someone in a wheelchair let alone someone with your specific challenges.

You need not be mad about them or challenge them, just state the obvious to them is the majority, that you require more time than someone in thier advantaged position. Saying things like, i'd love to be able to use the toilet as normal and not need to wear a diaper and need to change. Or even the ask if they want to help you change is all that is needed. My PCA was never mean or unlike me sarcastic and would just tell them that her job was to assist me in the tasks as it was hard and dangerous for me alone to acomplish certain things and thier taking her time to talk to them knocking at the door is just going to delay the whole situation further.

I hesitate to think, but there prob is people that like being in a public restroom, but for the most part i think most people want to finish up and get out and back to whatever they are there for, as i really dont think too many people goto a public restroom for the sake of the public restroom, it's not like spending extra time taking a shower at home or in the bath soaking.

That said, somehow people must think that for some reason people like to be in the public toilet for fun ???

 

[InconLifer]

The bathroom does not have a trash bin? or the stall does not have a trash bin? I am really outspoken against leaving spoiled diapers on the floor. We do not do that at our own homes. Or I would hope not. If not one in the entire restroom not a lot you can do but I don't think that happens much. If not in a stall I just try to be mature and do the right thing. I have asked people waiting inline to move from the front of a trash can so I can throw it away.It is not like I know them in most public restrooms. I understand it can be embarrassing as it use to be for me and sometimes still is. But I would not want my grand kid playing in someones dirty diaper. But I 100% can agree all toilets should have a bin next to them and it should be kept emptied out. People tossing diapers out in the parking lot baby or adult gets under my skin too. NorthShore has some well scented dark blue disposal bags that are perfect for these times. I have even changed in the car before and left my spoiled one in my diaper bag until I could dispose of it propper. what each of us does as incontinent or especially ABDL reflex on each other. This is why it bothers me. I once stopped at a truck stop bathroom and went into a stall. The cowboy hat dispenser of those things you set on was stuffed with a cheap tan medical diaper full of piss and shit. Just hanging on the wall. What kind of animal does that. They would not want to use that stall had I done that. we are not animals.. This is why we wear diapers to keep from leaving a trail of poop or pee.

Oh I never just leave one on the floor - I always carry nappy sacks with me and dispose of used products in them as I'm with you on being sanitary. If there's no bin then I double wrap them and leave them next to the toilet. Sadly I've found that there are a fair few toilets without bins and for added context, due to security issues, train stations in London don't have bins so you're stuffed if there isn't one in the toilet. Some disabled toilets do have sanitary towel bins but they're not big enough to accomodate an adult nappy.

There was a campaign for it called 'Boys Need Bins' about male incontinence, highlighting the importance of bins in toilets but it doesn't seem to have had much impact. Generally it's an issue in London train stations and I wonder if it is a security thing. That being said, there are bins in some train station toilets so who knows?

 

[L2Sci]

I wish had had advice for you my friend. This is one area out side my wheelhouse. I am disabled but not bound to a chair. I seen you listed incomplete.. C an you stand and put some weight on your legs? I have such bad back and hips and shoulders and fat too.. lol I can not reach my backside. I have came up with a easier clean up for me. As I pull the diaper away I try to wipe what I can away with the diaper. then I use a blue chux pad like a towel to wipe the rest away. I use a second chux pad and run warm water on it or spray it with a perineal cleaner I keep in my bag. I basically use it to floss my ass..... lol. Then I wipe what I can with a big disposable washcloth sold from Assurance at walmart. But being able to stand makes a huge difference I would think. I wish you the best of luck. Pm me if you ever want or need to talk or unload your frustration. I think this is the best incontinent support group in the world!!!!!!!!

I can stand but very unstable and difficult to stand from sitting low. I would be very risking a fall standing and reaching around. I have aides that help with cleaning (i.e. a stick that cand hold and release wipes/TP).

 

[Diaperman95]

I can stand but very unstable and difficult to stand from sitting low. I would be very risking a fall standing and reaching around. I have aides that help with cleaning (i.e. a stick that cand hold and release wipes/TP).

I put one of those toilet seat risers on after my first hip surgery. It makes getting up off the potty way more easy. Anyone with stiff joints really should own one.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

Due to fatigue and chronic nerve pains (due to neurological issues which also cause incontinence as well, I’ve been using both wheelchairs and diapers since I was a teenager.

And it’s NOT easy, especially when you’re out and about.

After an embarrassing incident on a train between Cardiff and London ten years ago (old train, no accessible toilet and leaking pull-up) I stopped trying to hide my diaper needs when traveling, and I go for a thicker diaper - there’s no point in being discreet when you need wheels. I’ve worn thicker ABDL diapers when traveling before under a onesie, just for the capacity.

If I do need to change when out, I’ll use either Changing Places or Wheelmate to find the nearest accessible toilet. I’m still able to walk short distances with crutches but beyond that I struggle. Without them, I’ve got enough mobility to transfer safely out of my chair by myself but anything further is risky. It also takes up a fair bit of energy too.

And yes, when you’re not very mobile, everything takes longer, which has annoyed some strangers, and the occasional jobsworth cleaner. But if this is what I need to use to live my best life, then tough.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[InconLifer]

Due to fatigue and chronic nerve pains (due to neurological issues which also cause incontinence as well, I’ve been using both wheelchairs and diapers since I was a teenager.

And it’s NOT easy, especially when you’re out and about.

After an embarrassing incident on a train between Cardiff and London ten years ago (old train, no accessible toilet and leaking pull-up) I stopped trying to hide my diaper needs when traveling, and I go for a thicker diaper - there’s no point in being discreet when you need wheels. I’ve worn thicker ABDL diapers when traveling before under a onesie, just for the capacity.

If I do need to change when out, I’ll use either Changing Places or Wheelmate to find the nearest accessible toilet. I’m still able to walk short distances with crutches but beyond that I struggle. Without them, I’ve got enough mobility to transfer safely out of my chair by myself but anything further is risky. It also takes up a fair bit of energy too.

And yes, when you’re not very mobile, everything takes longer, which has annoyed some strangers, and the occasional jobsworth cleaner. But if this is what I need to use to live my best life, then tough.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

It sounds like we have similar mobility issues in that I can use crutches a bit but not for long. My main Long Covid issues are a combo of chronic fatigue and neurological issues.

Thanks for the heads up re Wheelmate, never knew it existed!

 

[sarah734978]

Looking for advice from fellow wheelchair users. I am an incomplete para who works in an office.

What are your tips and tricks for changing inthe stalls? Specifically for #2.

Do you just go home or try to clean up and stay?

I'm not able to independently change myself. That said, if I'm out in public with a caregiver, we always look for private bathrooms. In this area, there are a number of "accessible" bathrooms that have extra space, privacy, and on occasion, hoyer lifts + adult change tables which are a true blessing if I go #2 in public. If they don't have those, I try to wait until I am home if possible.

 

[51piipeepants]

I use either arm brace crutches or a wheelchair. I badly fractured both my heels. Often I use the wheelchair when going out places away from home more than a hour or two.. I have daily urgency incontinence that happens all at once in a very strong gush voiding during outings BRIEFS/diape is the only ones that keep my pants dry. Changing on a public men's room.. I try to avoid it if I can.. the handicapped toilet stall was awkward and I always find myself frustrated changing in the wheelchair. Standing often there isn't enough room..
In public places I use the family handicapped bathroom any time I can it has a lot more room which makes everything easier and it's private