What's going on...

[Diaperedforsuresince17]

Could things get any worse? Everything's falling apart today...

Hey what’s going on we’re all worried about you

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

It hit extremely hard. Not the 57...just many things.

• The dresses didn't get ordered because Klarna, which offers finanacing, would not give me 6 months to pay for the dresses I wanted...and demanded first payment right now. That was a complete change from my last order from Ms. Binky. I contacted Klarna to inquire...they denied having ever done that, despite the obvious evidence in my Klarna account! I got angry and...
• ...contacted Ms Binky & explained with apologies. No response. After awhile, I started feeling very badly, got worried, sent over more apologies because I felt so terrible...but nothing. Things were now pretty bad...
• Last night, my father called to inquire about Christmas and my going back to celebrate...I said I would. As we talked further, it turned into the matter of my daughter, then my ex and all this other psychological bullshit he dabbles in. I just wanted him to drop it, but no! He has to rip off scabs...why he wants to keep talking to my ex with all the damage she did to my entire family...it angered me. It made me feel like she was more worthy of his attention than I was!

I kept composure...and fell apart. Plunged. After I blacked my images, I went into my crib, shivering, crying, wanting to kill myself...and cried myself to sleep a few hours. And woke up a bit ago. Things are more stabilized now...but I removed & blocked all family phone numbers & e-mail addresses. And Christmas is off. I can't do this anymore...I want to be 100% on my own.

I can't take them anymore. God help me but I can't. This place is my only joy in my life right now...I'm so sorry it's not better right now. Thank you for being the reason for staying at it with a smile.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Like an unsung melody
The truth is waiting there for you to find it
It's not a blight, but a remedy
A clear reminder of how it began
Deep inside your memory
Turned away as you struggled to find it
You heard the call as you walked away
A voice of calm from within the silence
And for what seemed an eternity
You're waiting, hoping it would call out again
You heard the shadow reckoning
Then your fears seemed to keep you blinded
You held your guard as you walked away

When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light

An unforgivable tragedy
The answer isn't where you think you'd find it
Prepare yourself for the reckoning
For when your world seems to crumble again
Don't be afraid, don't turn away
You're the one who can redefine it
Don't let hope become a memory
Let the shadow permeate your mind and
Reveal the thoughts that were tucked away
So that the door can be opened again
Within your darkest memories
Lies the answer if you dare to find it
Don't let hope become a memory

When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light

Sickening, weakening
Don't let another somber pariah consume your soul
You need strengthening, toughening
It takes an inner dark to rekindle the fire burning in you
Ignite the fire within you

When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light
Don't ignore, listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness
Can show you the light

 

[LePew]

No one can cause quite as much pain as family ya know? It shouldn’t be like that but sometimes it is

Ms Blinky might not be able to reply right now. Please try not to stress that too much and just give her some time. Who knows, she might be on vacation or tending to a family member’s medical emergency.

 

[ade]

It made me feel like she was more worthy of his attention than I was!

It'll be about the grandkids. My mum and dad were/are the same way.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

It'll be about the grandkids. My mum and dad were/are the same way.

My ex is scattered when it comes to her kids/grandkids. It's embarrassingly sad.

 

[chamberpot]

{{{{{{{{{BobiSueEllen}}}}}}}}}}}

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

It'll be about the grandkids. My mum and dad were/are the same way.

I divorced her for a reason: she was damaging my family. She did it several times. And yet they welcome her more than they welcome me. They chose.

 

[Diaperedforsuresince17]

@BobbiSueEllen I know how you feel, when my father was alive he was the only reason I even went home and now that he’s gone my older brother is always trying to get me to come back home using the line your sister wants to see you. I tell him she knows my number then silence and finally I hang up.

 

[Chloris]

It hit extremely hard. Not the 57...just many things.

• The dresses didn't get ordered because Klarna, which offers finanacing, would not give me 6 months to pay for the dresses I wanted...and demanded first payment right now. That was a complete change from my last order from Ms. Binky. I contacted Klarna to inquire...they denied having ever done that, despite the obvious evidence in my Klarna account! I got angry and...
• ...contacted Ms Binky & explained with apologies. No response. After awhile, I started feeling very badly, got worried, sent over more apologies because I felt so terrible...but nothing. Things were now pretty bad...
• Last night, my father called to inquire about Christmas and my going back to celebrate...I said I would. As we talked further, it turned into the matter of my daughter, then my ex and all this other psychological bullshit he dabbles in. I just wanted him to drop it, but no! He has to rip off scabs...why he wants to keep talking to my ex with all the damage she did to my entire family...it angered me. It made me feel like she was more worthy of his attention than I was!

I kept composure...and fell apart. Plunged. After I blacked my images, I went into my crib, shivering, crying, wanting to kill myself...and cried myself to sleep a few hours. And woke up a bit ago. Things are more stabilized now...but I removed & blocked all family phone numbers & e-mail addresses. And Christmas is off. I can't do this anymore...I want to be 100% on my own.

I can't take them anymore. God help me but I can't. This place is my only joy in my life right now...I'm so sorry it's not better right now. Thank you for being the reason for staying at it with a smile.

I have notexact, but similar problems with some of my (extended family) "aunts, cousins, grandparents e.c.t"
It isn't my place to say...but I would recommend focusing more on you than just trying to make someone else happy if they are just going to toss it in your face

 

[Chloris]

I have not exact, but similar problems with some of my (extended family) "aunts, cousins, grandparents e.c.t"
It isn't my place to say...but I would recommend focusing more on you than just trying to make someone else happy if they are just going to toss it in your face

 

[killahB]

Sorry you're having a stressful week. Sadly, nobody knows how to hurt you like your family, at least that's been my experience.

Try and focus on something that makes you happy and put your family on the back burner. Quite frankly, the dress situation should come first as resolving that would likely bring you some happiness (and new dresses)!

 

[KBoy]

It's sad, estrangement, I know, first hand. I had to think about this a bit, had me worried yesterday. This stuff takes time, and we don't have forever, so it's really, really hard.
Your landlord and his wife is the most amazing abdl thing I could ever think of. They must be the most gentle and open-minded of people, you are very lucky to have such a accepting experience. Bobbi, I think it says so much about you as well, you must be a very gentle and pleasant person yourself for them to see that it's okay, to be in a position to accept it.
Absolutely amazing, you are on quite the journey peace my friend

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

It's sad, estrangement, I know, first hand. I had to think about this a bit, had me worried yesterday. This stuff takes time, and we don't have forever, so it's really, really hard.
Your landlord and his wife is the most amazing abdl thing I could ever think of. They must be the most gentle and open-minded of people, you are very lucky to have such a accepting experience. Bobbi, I think it says so much about you as well, you must be a very gentle and pleasant person yourself for them to see that it's okay, to be in a position to accept it.
Absolutely amazing, you are on quite the journey peace my friend

You nailed the entire situation...and even more so, described my landlord & his wife to the T. When you brought them up just now, I felt badly that I didn't include them in my gratitude, along with you all, their support has been equally, crucially vital. Between them and y'all, I got all I need to keep me going, even through the worst of this. I thank them both...and thank you all.

 

[Heisenbergx72]

Wow...your experiance was amazing...

 

[Heisenbergx72]

I bet that was really painful to write...

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I bet that was really painful to write...

It was...but better than experiencing it.

 

[Harut]

If I ever do the Bourbon trail thing like I hope to some fie day, I'll tell Kentucky how you feel about them (after I have purchased my desired Bourbon)!

Bourbon trail is DEFINATLEY worth it!

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I have a confession to make...

You may remember me talking about how successful my self-hypno was for stopping smoking. It still is...

I tried self-hypno on something else, doubting somewhat it would work. I think I was wrong: I'd been having severe depression between "The Blow-Up" and leaving Kentucky last year. Being away during that time was playing hell on me. In desperation, I tried hypno'ing myself to forget the faces & voices of my daughter & grandkids.

Apparently, it worked.

 

[LePew]

I’m so sorry it came to that