we could do with a codeword

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jumpy

jumpy

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I think we could do with a secret handshake or codeword to identify People Like Us so you don't have to spend so long giving cryptic messages


I want to know what you think of this idea


and what do you think it would be


and finally how could you tell the people like us about it
 
Meh. I'm pretty short and to the point and just say things how it is if it actually matters to me. That's worked in the past. And if they don't want to open up about it then it's none of my business and I'd just leave it at that.
 
Unless it is passed via telepathy, it runs into the same discretion problem as other methods of identification: they can't be kept reliably secret. The Internet is for sharing information, not keeping it hidden and you never know what someone has or will be searching.

For my part, that's not how I want to meet other ABDLs, anyway. I'd rather have talked to them a little first and have some sense that we felt similarly about discretion vs. obvious displays or disclosure. I do meet ABDLs at parties without that kind of vetting, but I have the expectation (which is most often correct) that if they function socially in the community, they have those basic standards. It's also nice to think we might have something other than diapers to talk about if I'm going to meet one on one.
 
Trevor said:
Unless it is passed via telepathy, it runs into the same discretion problem as other methods of identification: they can't be kept reliably secret. The Internet is for sharing information, not keeping it hidden and you never know what someone has or will be searching.

For my part, that's not how I want to meet other ABDLs, anyway. I'd rather have talked to them a little first and have some sense that we felt similarly about discretion vs. obvious displays or disclosure. I do meet ABDLs at parties without that kind of vetting, but I have the expectation (which is most often correct) that if they function socially in the community, they have those basic standards. It's also nice to think we might have something other than diapers to talk about if I'm going to meet one on one.
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I am the same way. I really wouldn't want to be friends with someone simply because we are both AB/DL and that is all we ever talk about or do. I would hope it was more of a typical friendship where we hangout, talk about many things, and just enjoy each others company. If anything I imagine diapers wouldn't even be talked about all that often, or I don't see why it would.

Also, you make a very good point about the it. If we know the code word because we gave it out on a public forum, then the code word is in a public space that anyone can get to. Then there is no way to control who else hands it out and where. Just not safe enough. Maybe when we all have google glasses or something like that where you can join a group and it marks those in the group .... but even then I don't think it would stop other people from getting into that group ... and in fact that could even be more dangerous as you are giving away your location to anyone and everyone lol.
 
brabbit1987 said:
I am the same way. I really wouldn't want to be friends with someone simply because we are both AB/DL and that is all we ever talk about or do. I would hope it was more of a typical friendship where we hangout, talk about many things, and just enjoy each others company. If anything I imagine diapers wouldn't even be talked about all that often, or I don't see why it would.

Also, you make a very good point about the it. If we know the code word because we gave it out on a public forum, then the code word is in a public space that anyone can get to. Then there is no way to control who else hands it out and where. Just not safe enough. Maybe when we all have google glasses or something like that where you can join a group and it marks those in the group .... but even then I don't think it would stop other people from getting into that group ... and in fact that could even be more dangerous as you are giving away your location to anyone and everyone lol.
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For the most part, the other ABDLs I've met have been at worst boring, rather than making things weird and uncomfortable. Exercising some care, I've had really good experiences overall and met a lot of neat folks. However, I have come in contact with those I wouldn't want to spend one on one time with and if you're throwing out a signal, even one that somehow only other ABDLs would magically get, you're going to run into one of those over time.

For me, the fun of being friends with ABDLs is just knowing that if there was a reason to talk about diapers, it's fair game as a subject. Otherwise, there's not much difference between them and other friends. If you're into caregiving or diaper play, those can also come up but it's pretty hard to base a friendship on just that. There has to be something more when the crinkling is all done.
 
it was more hypothetical anyway I was thinking more of getting to know them and then having a way to ask them without embarrassing yourself

I definitely agree with all your comments it was just something I want to get some more people's opinion on
 
I think the answer here, if there is one, is probably some kind of mobile app. There are all kinds of social media apps that use a phone's location service to tell other people where a person is, what restaurant they're eating at, etc. Well, imagine one that made a description of you available to other AB/DLs who happen to be in the same location, and made their descriptions available to you. Heck, there may already be such an app. But anyway...

So, the key would be to make the membership and descriptions reasonably trustworthy so that trolls couldn't just switch the thing on and put in a bogus description in order to snoop. Perhaps there could be a community sponsorship system, whereby established members of online AB/DL communities receive a digital token of some sort that allows them to activate the app. If they're subsequently expelled from that community for being a creepy troll or something, the token could be invalidated that the app would stop working.

If I sound like something of a broken record, it's because...

Trevor said:
The topic comes up with some regularity.
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This. And I've answered similarly in the past. Alas, perhaps, that I have no inclination toward phone app development.
 
Cottontail said:
I think the answer here, if there is one, is probably some kind of mobile app. There are all kinds of social media apps that use a phone's location service to tell other people where a person is, what restaurant they're eating at, etc. Well, imagine one that made a description of you available to other AB/DLs who happen to be in the same location, and made their descriptions available to you. Heck, there may already be such an app. But anyway...

So, the key would be to make the membership and descriptions reasonably trustworthy so that trolls couldn't just switch the thing on and put in a bogus description in order to snoop. Perhaps there could be a community sponsorship system, whereby established members of online AB/DL communities receive a digital token of some sort that allows them to activate the app. If they're subsequently expelled from that community for being a creepy troll or something, the token could be invalidated that the app would stop working.
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Solves the problem of trolls, but alas, there's still the issue of ABDLs who are just plain weird or creepy. Or lack common sense and basic social skills. Like any interest or hobby, there's always some odd people that you'd never want to meet ...
 
HogansHeroes said:
Solves the problem of trolls, but alas, there's still the issue of ABDLs who are just plain weird or creepy. Or lack common sense and basic social skills. Like any interest or hobby, there's always some odd people that you'd never want to meet ...
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Also, I'm not in favor of broadcasting my location more than necessary. Certainly not into any sort of app that intentionally makes it available to strangers (at least I vaguely trust Google, I guess). That's just asking for someone who's both mean and has some technical skill to cause a data breach.
 
HogansHeroes said:
Solves the problem of trolls, but alas, there's still the issue of ABDLs who are just plain weird or creepy. Or lack common sense and basic social skills. Like any interest or hobby, there's always some odd people that you'd never want to meet ...
Click to expand...
Yeah. Fundamentally, you are still exposing yourself to potentially unwanted interactions. And the more screening you do up front, the more non-creepy users will simply say "screw it", so there's a non-obvious balance to it all. Same thing with the rules for when you are and aren't willing to share your AB/DL-ness. I can foresee all kinds of configurable exceptions. For instance, when one is at home, one probably wouldn't want others passing on the street to discover that they're in front of an AB/DL's house. (!)
 
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