Religious and being little

[ShyGirl91]

I admire the amount of thought you've put into this, and the heart that is tender toward God and what's right, and cares. Life is very complicated, no matter how "normal" we may be, and some of us have additional challenges adding additional complexity. Your prior abuse almost certainly is a factor, and while I'm horribly sorry it took place, by the Grace of God, it doesn't have to define your life. Roll that burden upon Him, and let Him carry it.

Having read through the Scriptures many times now, I can say with some confidence that autoeroticism is largely ignored. The actions of Onan are sometimes used to make a case that it is sinful, but it's really an apples and oranges comparison, and I would argue his sin was intentionally depriving his wife of the child she so desperately desired. I am also uncomfortable with it on the basis that I'm using something God gave me to bond with my spouse to receive pleasure without her receiving any or consenting to that arrangement. However, even there I can't point to chapter and verse, but only to a personal conviction.

However on that point, the Scripture is clear. If our conscience tells us not to do something, regardless of whether or not there is specific revelation on the topic, we ought to obey the voice of conscience. I Corinthians 8-10 talks at great length about liberty and conscience, and I'm sure you're familiar with it, but it might be worth a reread. 10:31 gives the summation of the matter: "Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." If you don't believe that something you feel like doing can be done to the glory of God, you ought not to do it.

When we do these things anyway, should we feel like chiefest of sinners? Absolutely not. Our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Bridegroom love us, and their chief concern is restoration of the relationship, in all its closeness, peace, and joy. I've gotten to the point in my walk where when I do something foolish, I sheepishly tell Him I'm sorry, know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I'm forgiven, and we go on as though it never happened. It took a long time to get to that point, and all I can say for how I got there is to spend time with Him. The more you do, the sweeter it gets. "It is glory just to walk with Him." Foster this relationship, and it's amazing how manageable the daily challenges become.

this makes sense! thank you for your thorough response.
I think what I'm wondering is if the shame is self-condemnation rather than God telling me it's wrong.

yes, I agree that Onan's scenario was because he disobeyed God and spilled his semen on the ground in order to not conceive a child with his wife. I don't think it has anything at all to do with masturbation; rather he did not do what he was supposed to do in that moment which was to conceive a child with his wife.

I'm wondering if mine is about self-condemnation like this passage:

1 John 3:20-21 King James Version 20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. 21 Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.


I could be wrong but it seems like this passage is talking about self condemnation and if our hearts don't condemn us we feel confident to stand before the Lord in our relationship with Him. Whereas if we are self condemning we may not feel like we can approach God. Idk.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

this makes sense! thank you for your thorough response.
I think what I'm wondering is if the shame is self-condemnation rather than God telling me it's wrong.

yes, I agree that Onan's scenario was because he disobeyed God and spilled his semen on the ground in order to not conceive a child with his wife. I don't think it has anything at all to do with masturbation; rather he did not do what he was supposed to do in that moment which was to conceive a child with his wife.

I'm wondering if mine is about self-condemnation like this passage:

1 John 3:20-21 King James Version 20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. 21 Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.

Thorough is my middle name. Of course, you're welcome.

I think the passage you referenced here is simply saying in verse 20 not to "beat ourselves up" when we fail, but simply confess it and move forward in the Love relationship with Him, since He already knew, and already forgave, and in verse 21 to heed our conscience as an instrument of God's guidance in making better choices going forward. Perhaps that's an oversimplification, but perhaps it will help.

 

[TeeMousy]

The fact that your conscience is tender on this is awesome, and a very healthy sign.

Being little is often used as a comfort and safe space, and as such could become a potential competitor to the Comforter and His ministry in our lives. You are wise to be wary of this, but perhaps let me guide your thoughts in a different direction.

Jesus said we all needed to come unto Him with childlike faith. You may actually have an advantage here. I can see the possibility of little space being a tremendous opportunity for drawing close to God for this very reason. Not having direct experience with this myself, I can only speculate, but it seems to me that littleness could probably become a means of worship even more easily than an idolatrous object of worship.

Just my two cents based on a life that of late has benefited tremendously from finally learning to get, in my own "normal" way, little before God.

Sometimes I do feel God's presence more when I am being little. A while back I was having a stressful moment at the end of my work shift. A coworker was mad and yelling at me because he assumed that I had not done something I was supposed to do before I left. I tried to explain that I had done it he just did not see me do it because I had done it earlier before he had arrived for his shift. But he was being stubborn and refused to listen. He just kept getting madder. I already feel like I am a failure sometimes because I don't seem to be as fast as other people, so his comments were especially painful. I work 2nd shift so by the time I get home it is close to bedtime. I decided to go to bed early that night. As I laid down, I was crying and hugging the snot out of my Teddy Bear. I was also praying and talking to God about it, and I received a sense of peace and calmness that I had not felt in a long time.

 

[mightytoddler]

I was once a young licensed pastor long ago before my auto accident . I served in the missionary service into Mexico , Belize , streets of Dallas and LA . Being a true ABaby or AToddler is truly innocent when there’s no sex involved at all . I’m IC for life now I’ve not seen the inside of a modern church since 1996 . In a state where any Abs or Ats would be looked down on big time . Organized religion today has veered off into such a hatred based glob of confused people . I’m still a licensed minister I only help homeless people today but rarely it’s hard to get around after my auto accident left me partly paralyzed . All I have to say to the ones out there that have a relationship with grandfather ( god) grandfather makes no mistakes in the human condition . Never ever be ashamed of your little self rejoice in the innocence of being AB/AT . Just be cautious …. I go out in public dressed often as a toddler it frees me deeply and my mommy wife will go off on anyone being ugly to me so much it’s kinda scary seeing her anger that way in public . She’s just defending me because she loves me so very deeply as I do her . Churches are only a place to gather with your flock nothing more . Simply put biblically in scripture Pray in private you don’t need a Church to be Christian or any other religion either . Your personal relation with grandfather ( we Choctaw refer to god the creator of everything as grandfather) is yours and yours alone . Be free in your pursuit of happiness don’t let any organized church dictate to you how you must act as long as your not hurting others and in a complete state of loving innocence your doing great .

 

[mightytoddler]

I was once a young licensed pastor long ago before my auto accident . I served in the missionary service into Mexico , Belize , streets of Dallas and LA . Being a true ABaby or AToddler is truly innocent when there’s no sex involved at all . I’m IC for life now I’ve not seen the inside of a modern church since 1996 . In a state where any Abs or Ats would be looked down on big time . Organized religion today has veered off into such a hatred based glob of confused people . I’m still a licensed minister I only help homeless people today but rarely it’s hard to get around after my auto accident left me partly paralyzed . All I have to say to the ones out there that have a relationship with grandfather ( god) grandfather makes no mistakes in the human condition . Never ever be ashamed of your little self rejoice in the innocence of being AB/AT . Just be cautious …. I go out in public dressed often as a toddler it frees me deeply and my mommy wife will go off on anyone being ugly to me so much it’s kinda scary seeing her anger that way in public . She’s just defending me because she loves me so very deeply as I do her . Churches are only a place to gather with your flock nothing more . Simply put biblically in scripture Pray in private you don’t need a Church to be Christian or any other religion either . Your personal relation with grandfather ( we Choctaw refer to god the creator of everything as grandfather) is yours and yours alone . Be free in your pursuit of happiness don’t let any organized church dictate to you how you must act as long as your not hurting others and in a complete state of loving innocence your doing great .

To each their own , never live in the light of others be your own bright light and shine brightly

 

[Visitor2Earth]

I was once a young licensed pastor long ago before my auto accident . I served in the missionary service into Mexico , Belize , streets of Dallas and LA . Being a true ABaby or AToddler is truly innocent when there’s no sex involved at all . I’m IC for life now I’ve not seen the inside of a modern church since 1996 . In a state where any Abs or Ats would be looked down on big time . Organized religion today has veered off into such a hatred based glob of confused people . I’m still a licensed minister I only help homeless people today but rarely it’s hard to get around after my auto accident left me partly paralyzed . All I have to say to the ones out there that have a relationship with grandfather ( god) grandfather makes no mistakes in the human condition . Never ever be ashamed of your little self rejoice in the innocence of being AB/AT . Just be cautious …. I go out in public dressed often as a toddler it frees me deeply and my mommy wife will go off on anyone being ugly to me so much it’s kinda scary seeing her anger that way in public . She’s just defending me because she loves me so very deeply as I do her . Churches are only a place to gather with your flock nothing more . Simply put biblically in scripture Pray in private you don’t need a Church to be Christian or any other religion either . Your personal relation with grandfather ( we Choctaw refer to god the creator of everything as grandfather) is yours and yours alone . Be free in your pursuit of happiness don’t let any organized church dictate to you how you must act as long as your not hurting others and in a complete state of loving innocence your doing great .

I’m a retired electronics technician/Chaplain , and I don’t see anything wrong or displeasing to God by simply wearing a diaper & getting into our “little space”. Personally, I don’t do anything sexual in diapers or wet/soil them…I just find diapers so comfortable & comforting that it’s difficult for me to explain.

However, since I FINALLY accepted my little side & my DL’ness, I no longer need medication for my anxiety and Tourettes. Given a choice between nasty, side effect laden pharmaceuticals & a simple, soft, warm cloth diaper…the diapers win every time!

 

[Visitor2Earth]

I'm walking with you in this as well. I'm a believer in Jesus Christ. I believe in the sacrifice He made by dying for the world and taking our sins upon Himself to pay the penalty so we could be with Him forever by simple faith in Him.

I have DID (different personalities), three of which are littles. Here's what I struggle with:

Ever since I was physically little, regressing was a comfort to me and I noticed that being diapered made my privates feel good. I did not know at that age that I was aroused.

My adult part still gets aroused when my littles wear and wet. Because I can tell I'm aroused, sometimes I end up masturbating because I'm aroused and then, once it's done, I feel disgusted and ashamed. And I don't know if that is wrong or if I'm ashamed because it's not considered normal.

I do have a history of sexual abuse and I often wonder if it's partly because of that but I'm hoping it's more that those parts of me are so desperately in need of having their diaper needs met that we become aroused because it's that deep of a need to be nurtured, and imagining someone meeting that need reaches even that domain.

I try not to mix anything sexual into littlespace. I don't want it sexualized and none of my parts think of sexualization even when we feel aroused. It's like we recognize it feels good in that area but we aren't fantasizing about someone touching us there. It's like we just want that good feeling to intensify and when my adult part helps with that, I feel like I violated myself when that's not what I'm intending to do.

does this make any sense? When I regress, it's in innocence. it makes me sick to know there are others who sexualize someone in littlespace because we are in a child-like frame of mind. and it feels grossly predatory if an adult sexualized me when in those dissociative states.

I know this is a lot but I'm really struggling with this as well.

I was sexually abused when I was a 16yr old boy, twice, both times by workers in the American Baptist Church in Haysville, KS.

One of the pervs thought that I was a Twink (and that apparently turned him on sexually), even though I was then, and now, totally straight. When he was confronted about abusing me, his excuse was that he was bisexual! What a horrible, wicked excuse for sexually abusing a 16yr old boy!

FYI, that abuse was over 40 years ago, and I STILL TO THIS DAY have flashbacks when I am in bed (the abuse happened in a bed after a Sunday school sleepover of several kids at the pervert’s house).

 

[ShyGirl91]

I was sexually abused when I was a 16yr old boy, twice, both times by workers in the American Baptist Church in Haysville, KS.

One of the pervs thought that I was a Twink (and that apparently turned him on sexually), even though I was then, and now, totally straight. When he was confronted about abusing me, his excuse was that he was bisexual! What a horrible, wicked excuse for sexually abusing a 16yr old boy!

FYI, that abuse was over 40 years ago, and I STILL TO THIS DAY have flashbacks when I am in bed (the abuse happened in a bed after a Sunday school sleepover of several kids at the pervert’s house).

I'm so sorry this happened to you! Especially in a place where you should feel safe!
Trauma really hits deep and has awful long-lasting damage.

 

[ShyGirl91]

Sometimes I do feel God's presence more when I am being little. A while back I was having a stressful moment at the end of my work shift. A coworker was mad and yelling at me because he assumed that I had not done something I was supposed to do before I left. I tried to explain that I had done it he just did not see me do it because I had done it earlier before he had arrived for his shift. But he was being stubborn and refused to listen. He just kept getting madder. I already feel like I am a failure sometimes because I don't seem to be as fast as other people, so his comments were especially painful. I work 2nd shift so by the time I get home it is close to bedtime. I decided to go to bed early that night. As I laid down, I was crying and hugging the snot out of my Teddy Bear. I was also praying and talking to God about it, and I received a sense of peace and calmness that I had not felt in a long time.

that gives me hope. often I feel like God sees my little parts as wrong and those parts of me fear going to Him. But this gave them hope and I know deep down God is a loving, compassionate God and that He saw those broken parts of me as my body grew and had compassion and loved me, and still does, and wants to hear from all of my parts.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I was sexually abused when I was a 16yr old boy, twice, both times by workers in the American Baptist Church in Haysville, KS.

One of the pervs thought that I was a Twink (and that apparently turned him on sexually), even though I was then, and now, totally straight. When he was confronted about abusing me, his excuse was that he was bisexual! What a horrible, wicked excuse for sexually abusing a 16yr old boy!

FYI, that abuse was over 40 years ago, and I STILL TO THIS DAY have flashbacks when I am in bed (the abuse happened in a bed after a Sunday school sleepover of several kids at the pervert’s house).

Growing up, my parents were very cautious about where we could go, and with whom. At the time I thought they were paranoid. Now I see they were circumspect.

 

[KarmaBaby3]

I’m Christian and don’t have any problems with it … I wear goodnites to church too. But I am united church so none of the weird confessing stuff like Catholic (couldn’t do it … nope I would rather be atheist ). God made me. I have always had these thoughts and desires. I’m a kind, caring, loving person to ALL other humans - love thy neighbour remember? Thus why would doing this be wrong? I take care of natural world (wish I could use cloth diapers but I balance in other areas ), am kind and thoughtful to everyone I meet and forgive. That is the basis of Christianity.

jesus loved and was drawn to the fringe untouchable type people … who would he be drawn to in our society? I seriously believe it would be the LGBTQ2S+, the “freaks” and weirdos etc etc that no one understands - those who are their true selves no matter who else says it’s wrong.

 

[Visitor2Earth]

Growing up, my parents were very cautious about where we could go, and with whom. At the time I thought they were paranoid. Now I see they were circumspect.

Like so many pedophiles who hunt down kids for sexual assault, he worked as a volunteer in the Sunday School class I was in (….of course, all young boys….), and I considered “it” a friend & an adult I could trust…..until he crawled into my bed & began to fondle me.

I still remember his face & what he did as he came onto me. I will never, ever forget it.

 

[KarmaBaby3]

Manual work is sin. Enjoy diaper fetish is sin. It's all about indoctrination. Someone said what is sin... But between 10 rules isn't said anything of that (I mean about diapers etc.,) so where's the problem ?

I'm very against religious organizations, because they've a power, are only for members, which isn't always for everyone.

Be yourself and don't make others upset because of you.

That's advice from non-christian.

This isn’t correct about all. United church of Canada accepts all, even the communion table is open to all - member or not, Christian or not. The whole religion is around helping others - church members or not, we have some large community programs and are here to create community to anyone interested and help out the larger community at large. School lunch programs, programs in the Dominican republic to help down there, jacket racket, part of towns pride festival and on and on. Dominican and our book club I’m part of and half of both almost are non church members who come regularly. Heck there are people who have came to church for years and never bothered to officially join as members, the only thing they can’t do is vote for a new minister but are allowed on the board and everything. School lunch we work with another church and other organizations to cover costs and each have volunteers that come to help. Plus $5000 yearly to our towns housing funds to help those who are at risk of losing housing and many fundraisers for the food bank.

I can’t do the religions that have this whole rule system and way of doing things and if you domt do that then you are going to hell. United church is all about loving EVERYONE the same, be kind at all times and help those you can. Hopefully that made sense … I do have a bad migraine right now

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I’m Christian and don’t have any problems with it … I wear goodnites to church too. But I am united church so none of the weird confessing stuff like Catholic (couldn’t do it … nope I would rather be atheist ). God made me. I have always had these thoughts and desires. I’m a kind, caring, loving person to ALL other humans - love thy neighbour remember? Thus why would doing this be wrong? I take care of natural world (wish I could use cloth diapers but I balance in other areas ), am kind and thoughtful to everyone I meet and forgive. That is the basis of Christianity.

jesus loved and was drawn to the fringe untouchable type people … who would he be drawn to in our society? I seriously believe it would be the LGBTQ2S+, the “freaks” and weirdos etc etc that no one understands - those who are their true selves no matter who else says it’s wrong.

I have to disagree with you on several points. The basis for Christianity is not kindness, but Christ's deity, atoning and reconciling sacrifice, and desire for a personal relationship with each and every human being. The reason we needed an atonement was that we are not what we were created to be; we are instead born sold under slavery to sin, but Christ's atonement paid its price to buy our freedom from it, that we might live free in His life. I agree that Jesus loves all the people you mentioned, but He doesn't want to leave them in the broken states where He finds them, but raise them to a state of wholeness in Him. When we are raised to this state, regardless of how broken we looked before (we're all born broken), the Love of Christ flows through us and gives us the Kindness we never could have before.

 

[feetintrouble]

My adult side goes to church, because I enjoy the sense of community, the music and the singing; but I certainly do not believe everything I hear. I found the many inconsistencies between Christianity and reality difficult to resolve as a child (I was very logical), and when I am being an adult, a perk of adulthood is choosing what to believe. I was suddenly made to go to Catholic church when I was nine years old, and I think by then I was a bit too old to be "taken in" by the whole thing, and I stopped going as soon as I could, because I didn't enjoy being told what to do, or what to think.

However, I do think many of the rituals of going to church can be quite appealing to my little side. I didn't experience all of these, but I sometimes fantasise about them:
- Being made to wear Sunday best.
- Being made to sit still, quietly and obediently.
- Sunday school activities and role plays, especially if they involve being blindfolded.
- Dressing up for Nativity activities. (I hated it when I was ten years old, but I think I might have liked it when I was younger.)
- During "family services", being chosen to come up to the front for something, such as lighting a candle.
- Being blindfolded to draw the church raffle. (I saw another child do this, and wished it was me!)

A darker side I find appealing is for a religious caregiver to make references to "the Devil inside me", making me do bad things, and she has to get him out, perhaps by spanking. I've written a story about being spanked by an overtly religious cousin, on the night before Christmas, so that I'm "good enough" to receive presents.

 

[LittleFlo]

Now I’m not religious but if I understand right your god controls everything that happens and made you. So if I’m right god doesn’t have problems with littles or anyone really.

 

[Subbyhubby0121]

For the religious folk here, how do you go about your little side? As a Christian I am struggling with this and would love some advice. Thanks

I would say if it becomes a stumbling block to your faith or witness, you need to find a better balance between your little desires and adult responsibilities. We have been known since before we were formed in our mothers’ wombs, and the Bible is clear on how we are to handle other common stumbling blocks like alcohol; drinking is not a sin, drunkenness is.

 

[quartz200420012]

I believe in an loving and understanding God. And if he does not understand, then he is not God and we need not worry.

 

[tango79]

This isn’t correct about all. United church of Canada accepts all, even the communion table is open to all - member or not, Christian or not. The whole religion is around helping others - church members or not, we have some large community programs and are here to create community to anyone interested and help out the larger community at large. School lunch programs, programs in the Dominican republic to help down there, jacket racket, part of towns pride festival and on and on. Dominican and our book club I’m part of and half of both almost are non church members who come regularly. Heck there are people who have came to church for years and never bothered to officially join as members, the only thing they can’t do is vote for a new minister but are allowed on the board and everything. School lunch we work with another church and other organizations to cover costs and each have volunteers that come to help. Plus $5000 yearly to our towns housing funds to help those who are at risk of losing housing and many fundraisers for the food bank.

I can’t do the religions that have this whole rule system and way of doing things and if you domt do that then you are going to hell. United church is all about loving EVERYONE the same, be kind at all times and help those you can. Hopefully that made sense … I do have a bad migraine right now

The gap between the UCC (I grew up in the UCC) and any Evangelical/Fundamental denomination (now where I reside) is huge, a chasm. You are barley even speaking the same language. Not judging, just trying to help people understand where the OP is coming from and asking them to reflect.

 

[Edgewater]

I am Catholic and find the foundation of God's Love assures acceptance.

I have long ago walked away from the games of infighting within the vast variations of Christianity. The disparate want to simply convert other Christians to this or that brand of Christianity is not following Jesus's wants as it is little more than simply picking the low hanging fruit. Jesus is looking for us to bring those who have not hear of his Love and those that have become lost.