Purging Part of Being a Sissy Girl

[TeddyBearCowboy]

Yup, you heard it right.

While Teddy has posted many things about the binge and purge cycle that is so often associated with things of being ABDL and how for a long time now I have come to realize that purging is not something that does much good. --as inevitably these interests simply come back as they are deep rooted within the very person that I am.

I have proven many times that if I really really try, I can hide from my ABDL part of myself. But the fact is, that it is just that... I am hiding. The feelings don't go away and they are actually something that I find strength in now, rather than hating myself over it.

A few days ago, for a number of reasons and certain things in my life causing me much distress, I threw away probably over $1,000 worth of various clothing items that has been associated with the little girl of me. If you have seen my previous posts, this part of me is not something that fully defines who I am. My little sissy side is rather a small part (but yet still a very real part) of the sum of the parts of being me.

I am otherwise a very masculine, rough and tumble kind of cowboy that works in the hot sun, riding horses in places that might make the man from snowy river think twice about. I love trucks, tools, and rough stuff that is normally considered "manly" and such. But there is also the side that sometimes likes wearing a pretty satin dress over my diaper and feeling this other such seemingly completely opposite side of who I am.

While I did not get rid of all of the things that are part of this part of me, I did purge many things. Perhaps foolishly, these are now in the landfill. But events and situations that hurt me much more than getting bucked off a horse or being kicked by a rogue cow led to this happening. It is not that I do not recognize or admit this part of myself as real as any other. But rather, the pain and emotions (yes cowboys too have emotions) going on from other things led me to purging a few things that are a tangible recognition of this part of me.

How any of you have experienced similar things?

While perhaps you still understand who you are and you aren't trying to completely disassociate yourself with this part of you, have you (for whatever reason) purged things in a similar way?

 

[Kymi]

I think LOADS of us have.

 

[TeddyBearCowboy]

I think LOADS of us have.

Thank you Baby Kimi (Adair37).

 

[Kymi]

Thank you Baby Kimi (Adair37).

You're welcome.

 

[BabyRuby88]

I also experienced the phenomena of “purging” by myself. I had a very cute pink onesie jumpsuit and throw it away. It is really a pity… But I was in the purge cycle and told my I would never do such things again (I think I don’t have to tell you that of course I have done it again ^^). This worked for me month or even years but the wishes for dressing as an AB girl comes back stronger and stronger. I’m not sure what is the right thing to do here and I can’t give an advice, but I just want to say that I experienced a similar thing . I think it’s good, that you didn’t throw away everything. Maybe you don’t need the stuff you have thrown away and can be happy with the things you still have . In my opinion the important part is to find out how much sissy girl is good for your live. I know this is a very hard question and I can’t answer it for myself^^. But hey: lets try

 

[Kymi]

I also experienced the phenomena of “purging” by myself. I had a very cute pink onesie jumpsuit and throw it away. It is really a pity… But I was in the purge cycle and told my I would never do such things again (I think I don’t have to tell you that of course I have done it again ^^). This worked for me month or even years but the wishes for dressing as an AB girl comes back stronger and stronger. I’m not sure what is the right thing to do here and I can’t give an advice, but I just want to say that I experienced a similar thing . I think it’s good, that you didn’t throw away everything. Maybe you don’t need the stuff you have thrown away and can be happy with the things you still have . In my opinion the important part is to find out how much sissy girl is good for your live. I know this is a very hard question and I can’t answer it for myself^^. But hey: lets try

Yes it's been some years thanks to Mummy but as a teen I purged a lot - always in an almost altered state of state of consciousness I was angry with myself, I was guilty, I was alone.....
I stopped purging in my early twenties.

 

[Kymi]

Thank you Baby Kimi (Adair37).

You're welcome - Happy Christmas!

 

[Kymi]

Yes it's been some years thanks to Mummy but as a teen I purged a lot - always in an almost altered state of state of consciousness I was angry with myself, I was guilty, I was alone.....
I stopped purging in my early twenties.

Mummy = Partner.

 

[SrDiapCaged]

I think that purging is a normal aspect of finding who you are, learning what you are about, and then at some point, full acceptance of your inner nature that needs to be fully embraced. Like most of us (all of us?), I too have gone through many purge cycles which really do cost a lot of money, until finally I had a serious "sit down chat" with myself, a scolding even at the waste of money and the refusal to accept how I am how, who I am, what I am. After that, I was just happy as a clam as I finally accepted my "diapered sissy persona", and stopped wasting money on purges

 

[sissygirlpink]

Yup, you heard it right.

While Teddy has posted many things about the binge and purge cycle that is so often associated with things of being ABDL and how for a long time now I have come to realize that purging is not something that does much good. --as inevitably these interests simply come back as they are deep rooted within the very person that I am.

I have proven many times that if I really really try, I can hide from my ABDL part of myself. But the fact is, that it is just that... I am hiding. The feelings don't go away and they are actually something that I find strength in now, rather than hating myself over it.

A few days ago, for a number of reasons and certain things in my life causing me much distress, I threw away probably over $1,000 worth of various clothing items that has been associated with the little girl of me. If you have seen my previous posts, this part of me is not something that fully defines who I am. My little sissy side is rather a small part (but yet still a very real part) of the sum of the parts of being me.

I am otherwise a very masculine, rough and tumble kind of cowboy that works in the hot sun, riding horses in places that might make the man from snowy river think twice about. I love trucks, tools, and rough stuff that is normally considered "manly" and such. But there is also the side that sometimes likes wearing a pretty satin dress over my diaper and feeling this other such seemingly completely opposite side of who I am.

While I did not get rid of all of the things that are part of this part of me, I did purge many things. Perhaps foolishly, these are now in the landfill. But events and situations that hurt me much more than getting bucked off a horse or being kicked by a rogue cow led to this happening. It is not that I do not recognize or admit this part of myself as real as any other. But rather, the pain and emotions (yes cowboys too have emotions) going on from other things led me to purging a few things that are a tangible recognition of this part of me.

How any of you have experienced similar things?

While perhaps you still understand who you are and you aren't trying to completely disassociate yourself with this part of you, have you (for whatever reason) purged things in a similar way?

I completely share your pain and constant conflict.
I have purged so many times and currently have so many clothes, toys, shoes, nappies, plastic pants and everything in between.
Unless you have a totally accepting partner or one that has led you down the path to be a sissy and/or Abdl there is always the fear of discovery and being outed.
This something I constantly worry about and therefore have never had a sissy or abdl friend that I could share with and trust, I just wish I had!
So why do I purge, I just can’t open up to my wife she would completely freak out. It would be disastrous and each time I buy more the problem gets bigger and harder to hide. Purging helps me rationalise my stuff, manage the risk of discovery and reduce my guilt.
That’s right, my guilt of letting my wife down and losing the respect of my work colleagues, friends and wider family where I am held in high regard.
I have always been or wanted to be a girl inside but much like @TeddyBearCowboy I am 6 ft 210lbs man physically.
I treasure my dress up time as baby girl, toddler, young teen and woman.

 

[MandyBear]

I get it, but I also don't get it.
I get that there are many reasons for someone to purge/get rid of things, sometimes because they need to and sometimes because they think no longer having these things will make their urges stop.

What I do not get is why most of the time these purges involve throwing away, even burning the items.

I know these can be tough decisions to make and the fear of being found out or guilt of just owning them can be a lot for someone.

But why not simply lock the items away or at least drop them at a Goodwill or even one of those Clothing Drop boxes instead of just throwing them away?????

I guess you can say I have "purged" (not out of fear or guilt) a few times, but more from a changing direction/outlook or want in my life.

And each time I have at least tried to give away or at the very least donated what I no longer wanted with only the (old, worn, underwear, ect) non transferable items ending up in the trash.

 

[teezydeez]

Yes.. I did about 35 years ago..but it did come back stronger for me as well and though I've thought of it..I have'nt since..still learning to accept who and what I am and what I've been through and made it through and still get great comfort and some excitement from My Diapeez..

 

[sissygirlpink]

I get it, but I also don't get it.
I get that there are many reasons for someone to purge/get rid of things, sometimes because they need to and sometimes because they think no longer having these things will make their urges stop.

What I do not get is why most of the time these purges involve throwing away, even burning the items.

I know these can be tough decisions to make and the fear of being found out or guilt of just owning them can be a lot for someone.

But why not simply lock the items away or at least drop them at a Goodwill or even one of those Clothing Drop boxes instead of just throwing them away?????

I guess you can say I have "purged" (not out of fear or guilt) a few times, but more from a changing direction/outlook or want in my life.

And each time I have at least tried to give away or at the very least donated what I no longer wanted with only the (old, worn, underwear, ect) non transferable items ending up in the trash.

Interesting, when I last purged, you will be pleased, I did recycle, nothing was trashed or burned.

What I don’t think works is that the charity for pensioners or under privelidged people don’t really have a market for sissy or abdl clothes, shoes and so on.

More likely that there is a curious staff member who would intercept them.

Whilst this means someone else continues to use them, there is no social value.

Picture size 11 shoes (UK), everything 48 chest????

 

[littlemoosey]

Yup, you heard it right.

While Teddy has posted many things about the binge and purge cycle that is so often associated with things of being ABDL and how for a long time now I have come to realize that purging is not something that does much good. --as inevitably these interests simply come back as they are deep rooted within the very person that I am.

I have proven many times that if I really really try, I can hide from my ABDL part of myself. But the fact is, that it is just that... I am hiding. The feelings don't go away and they are actually something that I find strength in now, rather than hating myself over it.

A few days ago, for a number of reasons and certain things in my life causing me much distress, I threw away probably over $1,000 worth of various clothing items that has been associated with the little girl of me. If you have seen my previous posts, this part of me is not something that fully defines who I am. My little sissy side is rather a small part (but yet still a very real part) of the sum of the parts of being me.

I am otherwise a very masculine, rough and tumble kind of cowboy that works in the hot sun, riding horses in places that might make the man from snowy river think twice about. I love trucks, tools, and rough stuff that is normally considered "manly" and such. But there is also the side that sometimes likes wearing a pretty satin dress over my diaper and feeling this other such seemingly completely opposite side of who I am.

While I did not get rid of all of the things that are part of this part of me, I did purge many things. Perhaps foolishly, these are now in the landfill. But events and situations that hurt me much more than getting bucked off a horse or being kicked by a rogue cow led to this happening. It is not that I do not recognize or admit this part of myself as real as any other. But rather, the pain and emotions (yes cowboys too have emotions) going on from other things led me to purging a few things that are a tangible recognition of this part of me.

How any of you have experienced similar things?

While perhaps you still understand who you are and you aren't trying to completely disassociate yourself with this part of you, have you (for whatever reason) purged things in a similar way?

TBC, Im sorry you are going through a rough patch and it is making you feel bad or question all that is you. I think that the majority of us that are honest about it, go through this on a regular basis. Not necessarily that we make it all the way to the dump with our gear, but mentally we do go there. Even as good as I have it with momma2moosey, and as good as she makes me feel. I still go through times of doubt, and questioning. And then time passes, and I realize things are not as bleak as I might think. I hope you get through this soon, and can find your contented spot.

 

[abjohn]

Yup, you heard it right.

While Teddy has posted many things about the binge and purge cycle that is so often associated with things of being ABDL and how for a long time now I have come to realize that purging is not something that does much good. --as inevitably these interests simply come back as they are deep rooted within the very person that I am.

I have proven many times that if I really really try, I can hide from my ABDL part of myself. But the fact is, that it is just that... I am hiding. The feelings don't go away and they are actually something that I find strength in now, rather than hating myself over it.

A few days ago, for a number of reasons and certain things in my life causing me much distress, I threw away probably over $1,000 worth of various clothing items that has been associated with the little girl of me. If you have seen my previous posts, this part of me is not something that fully defines who I am. My little sissy side is rather a small part (but yet still a very real part) of the sum of the parts of being me.

I am otherwise a very masculine, rough and tumble kind of cowboy that works in the hot sun, riding horses in places that might make the man from snowy river think twice about. I love trucks, tools, and rough stuff that is normally considered "manly" and such. But there is also the side that sometimes likes wearing a pretty satin dress over my diaper and feeling this other such seemingly completely opposite side of who I am.

While I did not get rid of all of the things that are part of this part of me, I did purge many things. Perhaps foolishly, these are now in the landfill. But events and situations that hurt me much more than getting bucked off a horse or being kicked by a rogue cow led to this happening. It is not that I do not recognize or admit this part of myself as real as any other. But rather, the pain and emotions (yes cowboys too have emotions) going on from other things led me to purging a few things that are a tangible recognition of this part of me.

How any of you have experienced similar things?

While perhaps you still understand who you are and you aren't trying to completely disassociate yourself with this part of you, have you (for whatever reason) purged things in a similar way?

~Oh noooooo! What a waste of your no doubt lovely clothes! Such a shame.

 

[DLForever99999]

Can't purging include locking things away in a trunk in the attic for potential future use or maybe a storage unit to limit your ability to access? Might be cheaper in the long run.

 

[Tom1066]

Purging is the psychological cost of being a sissy. Societal pressures are overwhelming. We are made to feel shame and guilt
despite the fact that it is in our nature to be sissies, and may one day be found to be genetic in nature. There is little we can do
to overcome the incipient build-up of shame. We all purge. It's expensive, inconvenient and a gigantic waste. Plus, it is psychologically
very unsettling, depressing and anxiety raising. I personally have purged over $5,000 so far in life. Some of the most beautiful clothing
imaginable, 90% fitting me perfectly.

Purging, I sometimes think, is the cost to a sissy of staying alive and sane. We must forgive ourselves for purging. I believe that
many of us are helpless when it comes to crossdressing. And I have yet to find a psychologist who can help--at fees between $150
and $300 an hour. And there is no drug that stops sissydom. It's just what we are. The best we can do is be kind to ourselves in
the face of something that is simply in our nature and cannot--except for short periods of time--be controlled.

 

[TeddyBearCowboy]

Here we go again.

Trash day is a day away and there is around $500 of completely unworn items (purchased about two months ago—but took that long to have custom made and shipped) that will never see the joy of being worn.

Why? Well, that is as hard now to explain as it was back in 2020 when I first made this post. But as I said then, I say again now, while this side is very deep and rooted, at times gets hidden away.

I know, I know, what other sane person would have an interest in something and purchase things they thought they would want, but then months later when they arrive decide they don’t want them around?

Just to be clear so this doesn’t get redirected as a blog…. Does anyone here have any new thoughts on this?

I know this is an old thread, but yeah, it’s happening again. Im not getting rid of everything previous purchased by any means, but some of the new items are things a bit more than I feel comfortable with being me at the moment.

I would appreciate others (who are in this forum and/or have this particular interest if this forum) if you might share. I welcome others who might not have this interest to comment, but this isn’t something I want to readily share outside of the forum —as not everyone else has this interest and is likely to understand.

There are certainly binge/purge cycles in diaper interests also, but that’s one that I truly have gotten past and accept myself and those interests without going through those cycles anymore.

But these interests, yeah, sometimes they have some huge pendulum swings for me.

Teddy watches as $500 to $600 of some very pretty things just goes to never ever land within the next 48 hours.

 

[teezydeez]

I think I understand maybe how u feel. I am a lifelong Abdl person and have done this for different periods of time (purging)..Then wearing and playing regularly again for many years..often I feel that there is something better I could do with All the time and money spent being an Abd and if it somehow, holds me back in life..I don't know..?..then I see people that have special pets that help them with varying social phobias in their lives (social anxieties, ptsd and many more..)..reflecting upon this, I have realized that I am often, one of those people..I have certainly had my share of traumatic experiences in my life (as many of us have)..and can hardly recall a time in my life when I didn't want to wear Diapers, plastic pants, feminine attire, baby clothes and use ba ba's and paci's, etc. and acting like a Baby as well..it often has comforted, soothed and helped me to get through this world in someway to know that when I get into the privacy of my home and with my consenting Wife, that I can shed my courser, vanilla and often uncomfortably worn (often worn very thin from the utter brutality of today's social existance..growing fascism, etc.) exterior, and melt away into my much more secure, loving and nurturing environment..when thinking on what I have actually spent over 40 years, I know that I have "Always" been So frugal that I often wear my gear until they have rips and holes in them (mainly plastic pants) before I order more..I am currently at that point to where it is time to order some more new pp now (may go to new Abdl store in Denver..navigating this 300 mi round trip is traumatic enough for this small town boy..but maybe worth it)..Yess, I think someday I would like to grow out of it or come to some meaningful realization that leads me to not desire it or feel that I need it anymore. I think many of ''us'' have..for me, I feel that, that time is not now..I do however, sincerely wish you clear and comforting reflection on this decision my friend and fellow Abdl...peace....

 

[Elin]

I also experienced the phenomena of “purging” by myself. I had a very cute pink onesie jumpsuit and throw it away. It is really a pity… But I was in the purge cycle and told my I would never do such things again (I think I don’t have to tell you that of course I have done it again ^^). This worked for me month or even years but the wishes for dressing as an AB girl comes back stronger and stronger. I’m not sure what is the right thing to do here and I can’t give an advice, but I just want to say that I experienced a similar thing . I think it’s good, that you didn’t throw away everything. Maybe you don’t need the stuff you have thrown away and can be happy with the things you still have . In my opinion the important part is to find out how much sissy girl is good for your live. I know this is a very hard question and I can’t answer it for myself^^. But hey: lets try

I think that purging is a normal aspect of finding who you are, learning what you are about, and then at some point, full acceptance of your inner nature that needs to be fully embraced. Like most of us (all of us?), I too have gone through many purge cycles which really do cost a lot of money, until finally I had a serious "sit down chat" with myself, a scolding even at the waste of money and the refusal to accept how I am how, who I am, what I am. After that, I was just happy as a clam as I finally accepted my "diapered sissy persona", and stopped wasting money on purges

Любая чистка, восстановление баланса. Лучше самим восстановить, чем ждать принудительного восстановления, очистки из вне!