@iam32bit for your OAB, have you looked into a pelvic floor specialist? It may provide you options to help reduce the number of urges.
I wear diapers and pullons because of OAB with urge incontinence. Very sympathetic to your 10, 15, 20 times a day, bathroom roulette, and spasms. Shifting to always wearing really does lower the stress of finding bathrooms, and the constant worry/disruption hanging over ones head. It can be hard at times to wearing as it carries its own stress but, much less than not wearing.
Focus on life, not your underwear.