On the edge of telling my girlfriend

[hiddendutchman]

Hi there,

So since I was 11-12 I have a high interest in wearing/peeing diapers and omorashi.
I love to see girly/cute woman hold their pee to the extreme, and pee their pants or diaper.
I am not an AB, only a diaper lover, but I do love when a women is acting like an adorable girl in her diaper, wearing pink etc.

I am almost 29 years old now, and I have a lovely girlfriend for 8 years now, she is a few years younger than I am.
She is (finally!!! ) moving in this summer which I am very excited about, but it's gonna make things difficult when it comes to my diaper/pee fetish, so I am thinking about telling her.
She is a bit aware of the fact that I like to have sex when I or she has to pee, we push on each other's bladder sometimes, and she's sometimes teasing with 'Oooh you have a pee fetish dont you?'. Shes not trying to be mean though.

So I was thinking about a way to tell her.
There is some kind of cartoon on YouTube we both think is funny, and they also have a music video singing about a girl that likes poopsex, it's quite funny.
Sometimes I randomly play it out very loud for the laughs. (I am not into poopsex or pooping in diapers though!).
So I was thinking about playing that video again, and then ask her 'What would you do if I had a fetish like that, what would you do if I would say right now that I have a poop fetish? Would you leave me? How would you deal with that?'.
This way I could see how she would react and decide if I am going to tell her about my two fetishes or not.
If I decide to do it, I would start with the pee fetish first, because she is partly aware of that. I would explain her the fetish goes further for me, and that I fantasize about woman peeing their pants, especially her.
Then I would explain that it goes it combination with a diaper fetish and all. That I like to wear them, but that it is mostly because I want so simulate how it would feel for a woman, and sometimes for convienence and relaxing. But I would also tell her that if she doesn't want to do anything with it, it would be completely fine, she goes first, ALWAYS.
Of course my dream and fantasy would be to share this fetish with her. Let her drink lots of water, putting a diaper on her. Since she has pee shyness(paruresis) it can become even more interesting. Holding till she can't hold back and let her pee her diaper and have sex. But if she refuses, I'll accept that, I don't wanna push her.

The only thing that is holding me back though is the fact that I am a bit older and I am her 'man'.
I'm afraid she is going to look different towards me because I like diapers, I might be no longer the man that protects her. She might think I am a vulnerable little boy after telling her.

How did you guys deal with that?

 

[Rainbow]

I think you should definitely tell her. Just be up front and honest about it. Tell her about your feelings in the moment (anxious about telling her, excited, nervous). Ultimately, you want to be vulnerable and truthful with her. Up front, honest, but as courageously as possible. She sounds rather open already, so I think there is a good chance of it going very well. I can't promise anything, of course. But I am absolutely rooting for you, kind person. I really, really hope it goes well for you. Go for it!

 

[Rainbow]

There is some kind of cartoon on YouTube we both think is funny, and they also have a music video singing about a girl that likes poopsex, it's quite funny.

On another note... what video is this, if I may ask? Is it gross-funny or more cute? Just piqued my interest is all, haha

 

[hiddendutchman]

I think you should definitely tell her. Just be up front and honest about it. Tell her about your feelings in the moment (anxious about telling her, excited, nervous). Ultimately, you want to be vulnerable and truthful with her. Up front, honest, but as courageously as possible. She sounds rather open already, so I think there is a good chance of it going very well. I can't promise anything, of course. But I am absolutely rooting for you, kind person. I really, really hope it goes well for you. Go for it!

Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it.
You're right, she is rather open already, she actually wouldn't be suprised if I'd say that I have a pee fetish, I think one time peeing on each other was mentioned and she was joking with 'You would like that don't you?'

I hope it's all worth the risk, I really don't wanna lose her.
I am seeing her this weekend at her mothers home, I'm not sure if I should tell her immediately this Friday, because on saturday we were supposed to so fun things. Or maybe it would be the right time since then she could still ask questions if she wants.
Also, we can't do anything in practise when it comes to diapers/peeing at her mothers home, so it can still settle before we do anything in practise

 

[Hemix]

I would skip the pooping question, you don't like it after all and dealing with peeing is easier.

 

[hiddendutchman]

On another note... what video is this, if I may ask? Is it gross-funny or more cute? Just piqued my interest is all, haha

Forgot to reply to this haha. It's a gross-funny video. It's Dutch though. It's a cartoon where a guy sings about a girl that lovex poopsex and that it's okay to poop on her stomach and neck XD

 

[hiddendutchman]

I would skip the pooping question, you don't like it after all and dealing with peeing is easier.

I know, but if she would say that she'd leave me, I can still hold back. It's not worth losing my girl for a sexual interest.
So I would just ask her 'What if I had a weird fetish? A poop fetish for example? What would you do? Would you leave me?'
On the other hand, if I'd say I have real pee fetish her response would be like 'I knew it', and she would even laugh about it

 

[hiddendutchman]

I'm actually thinking about telling her tonight through a call...
I had a very bad night of sleep just because I keep thinking about telling her, making my heartbeat raise and keeps me out of my sleep, very nervous.
I definitely don't want to do it over text, but a call would make it a bit easier than personal as well for me. I get ashamed very quickly in person.

 

[hiddendutchman]

UPDATE:
So this just happened...

I sent her a TikTok video about fetishes, and I just asked the question 'What would you do if I had a weird fetish?'.
She responded 'Depends what kind'.
So I responded to her 'Well imagine an extreme one, like a poop fetish. What would you do if I'd tell you right now I had a poop fetish for example?'
I think she gave the best response I could wish for. She responded 'WellI wouldn't do anything with it, but if that would be your kink, go ahead, I wouldn't break up or anything. Everyone has a reason to do something'.

SO FAR SO GOOD!!!

So I told her I have a reason I slept badly last few nights, and that I am about to tell her a big secret of mine, a fetish I have.
She already said that shes might have an idea what it could be, but I said it is more than that. So I told her it's something I have since I was young, and that I want to be honest and open towards her, especially now we are going to live together.
After that she even said, literally: This could make our relationship even more exciting >'
She asked some questions like why I didn't tell her before, so I explained it's a big secret, which makes me feel vulnerable etc, and I didn't want her to find out herself.
So she asked if there were any objects involved, I told her yes, but I will explain it more tonight.
I stated I have fantasies about her involving the fetish, but I also clearly stated that I don't want to push her, and if she doesn't want to get involved she doesn't have to, and I would be 100% fine with that.

So there is that, there is NO way back now.
We are going to call tonight. She already said I could text it to her aswell if I found it easier, but I said it's too much to just text.


To be continued...

 

[Forced]

Sounds positive.
Let us know how you get on

 

[hiddendutchman]

Sounds positive.
Let us know how you get on

Thanks, I will.
I'm really nervous. I will start off with my omorashi/pee fetish, and then I'll tell her about my diaper fetish with is related to the pee fetish anyways.

 

[blaincorrous]

One of the methods to get acceptance is to let your partner “kinda already know”. It sounds like you've laid some ground work for that approach and her reaction l means you’ve executed this maneuver correctly.

But then again, most of us guys are lousy at keeping secrets. Many of us have taken this path inadvertently. Those of us who keep secrets the best are the ones who cause the most shock when we come out.

Your choice to open up to your partner at this time is the right one. Some of us wait too long and suffer the consequences.

A word of advice about getting her into diapers once you get to that point: if she’s not into it, it may lead to disappointment or some half-satisfaction. I can say that from personal experience. Part of our fantasy is for them to want to wear and use diapers on their own, and odds are that they won’t show that specific interest. All you can say is what your fantasy is and they will decide how they fit into it. Be prepared for her to not engage with it to the depth you want.

 

[LePew]

So far so good, I’m rooting for you!

 

[AtPeace]

It's looking good for you dude! Don't make it too big a deal, try your best to be calm and casual about it and I think you'll be okay.

 

[hiddendutchman]

Alright then, update time:

So I told her.
I started off saying it was quite a common thing, and I asked her if she could guess. She first thought I was into cute clothing style, which is true, and has partly to do with the fetish of course but still.
So I asked if she remembered the fact that I sometimes pushed on her bladder and she does that to me too, well that's a part of the fetish.
So I told her I was into omorashi, and she looked it up and read about it.
Her first response 'Oooohh... well I knew this about you! It's not a big deal and very common...'
So the next thing... the diaper fetish. I just started off if she knew about ABDL. She said she heard about it somewhere. So I showed her what it means and told her I am not the AB, but just the DL, and that I'm definitely not into pooping etc, just no1.
She said 'Well whatever works for you! It all make sense now too!'.
She started asking some questions about when I was wearing for the last time, if I sometimes wear an entire day, or if it is on my mind every single day. To the last I responded that sometimes I can be into it for an entire week, and then I don't want to think about it for a week or so, it all varies.

I also honestly told her that in all my fantasies shes in it, and that my big wish would be that she would wear as well.
She told me she isn't into it, and that she probably doesn't want to either because she is just not into it, she also doesn't always like to be pushed on her bladder either haha.
I told her that it is perfectly fine, and that many girlfriends aren't into it, but sometimes are still willing to explore it because their boyfriend really get turned on by it.
So I told her if she would like to explore the fetish, she can just ask anything.
I asked if I need to keep it away from her, if she doesn't want to be involved or see it, she said she doesnt want to get involved for now, but she doesn't mind if she would see anything.

Because she did ask some questions, it seems like shes interested, so who knows what the future brings.

After I told her, she even continued talking about what we need to do when she comes to live here, that was really reassuring because that means she is not going to leave me. I love her, very much.


I wish I could keep talking about it with her, but I don't want to make her uncomfortable.
I'm very excited in some way

 

[Subtlerustle]

The first step is done. You must feel very liberated. Hopefully she will see how happy diapers make you feel and endorses it completely.

 

[hiddendutchman]

The first step is done. You must feel very liberated. Hopefully she will see how happy diapers make you feel and endorses it completely.

I do. She just went to sleep and she even thanked me for being this open.

I'm not sure if she will see how happy it makes me, since I don't think I will be wearing around her any time soon.
I told her I don't want to wear on my own (she seems to be ok with that though), but I only want to wear together.

 

[blaincorrous]

This is fantastic. She’s shown a lot of acceptance and is setting healthy boundaries. You sound like you’ve got a wonderful relationship.

I’m fairly certain that her thanking you for being so open is a very genuine gesture. So many relationships lack this unguarded quality and, while you’re happy you found someone who accepts this aspect of you, she’s happy she found someone willing to share their depths. I expect she will share more of her depths if she hasn’t reached that point yet.

Her sharing that she doesn’t like you pushing on her bladder is important. You’ve unlocked the kind of communication where neither of you have to pretend to be into something just for the benefit of your partner. Every bit of specific acceptance and rejection let’s you more truly share yourselves and put you on the same wavelengths. You’re probably going to start reading each other’s minds any day.

I’m totally ecstatic for you. It makes me happy to see people decoding relationships and finding that mature partnerships are beautiful.

 

[hiddendutchman]

This is fantastic. She’s shown a lot of acceptance and is setting healthy boundaries. You sound like you’ve got a wonderful relationship.

I’m fairly certain that her thanking you for being so open is a very genuine gesture. So many relationships lack this unguarded quality and, while you’re happy you found someone who accepts this aspect of you, she’s happy she found someone willing to share their depths. I expect she will share more of her depths if she hasn’t reached that point yet.

Her sharing that she doesn’t like you pushing on her bladder is important. You’ve unlocked the kind of communication where neither of you have to pretend to be into something just for the benefit of your partner. Every bit of specific acceptance and rejection let’s you more truly share yourselves and put you on the same wavelengths. You’re probably going to start reading each other’s minds any day.

I’m totally ecstatic for you. It makes me happy to see people decoding relationships and finding that mature partnerships are beautiful.

Thank you for your kind words.

About her depths, she said she doesn't have any fetish or something like that, but she does like dominance during sex, I told her that this fetish goes well with that, so we'll see what the future brings. Her saying 'for now' still gives me hope, who knows!

Even though she is not into it, I hope she might realize that the fact it turns me on so much might make it interesting for her as well. Who knows, future will tell.

After all this she asked if she could be open about something too, something totally different, I said sure, go ahead.
She said that she always had male friends, because she is better with being friends with guys instead of girls. She asked if I had trouble with if she would be friends with a guy.
I was honest and told her I would be fine with it, as long as she would set boundaries, and don't go out with a guy haha.
She understood me and we talked some about it, all good.

I will never let this girl go.

 

[Forced]

I told her that it is perfectly fine, and that many girlfriends aren't into it, but sometimes are still willing to explore it because their boyfriend really get turned on by it.

Sounds like it went well, pleased for you

The only thing I’d offer is that I’d avoid further mentioning what other partners do for their boyfriends.
To me it feels like putting someone under pressure to live up to something someone else does and not what they want but obviously you know your G/F best so maybe not in your case.