O/T My real mom just passed.

[Cottontail]

But I don't want my mom to look down from heaven and worry that she did something wrong or finally know the extent of what person I actually am.
Those who have been through this..... you think family members that pass away care how we cope with their loss? Is it okay?

First off, my sincerest condolences. Having lost a parent recently myself, I can very much relate to the feeling of disorientation it causes, and to the need to hang on to the little things that remind you of your mom. Whatever each of us might believe about the existence of a spiritual afterlife, there can be no doubt that an afterlife of sorts exists wherever memories of our lost family and friends still linger. Consider yourself a literal patch of heaven for your mom, as obviously your memories of her are very fond.

To the question of what your mom would think of how you're coping: It's an interesting question that I've considered before. I'm not religious, but I enjoy the thought of an afterlife. I suppose I'd like to think that, if there is one, it's a vantage point with a much wider angle on all of this--a place were so many of the things we worry about vanish into some bigger picture that we're not able to see from "down here." Diapers and that sort of stuff... I just don't see those things moving the needle. Use what tools you have to sooth yourself and try not to judge yourself too harshly for it.

 

[quartz200420012]

I lost my mother 5-1/2 years ago and I know how you feel. I too cryed for days and that's when I started regressing. I believe that that's the only thing that kept me from wanting to end my own life as well. I go into little space every day now which actually helps me to be a more responsible adult. I've tried to stop being a little a few times but I ended up feeling depressed too many times so I intend to keep being a little for good whenever I'm alone by myself. I'm sorry for your loss because mothers are special.

Yeah, I think the regression is part of my brain trying to protect itself. I've been in and out of urgent care since she passed because of stress related issues from that event.

 

[littledub1955]

Yeah, I think the regression is part of my brain trying to protect itself. I've been in and out of urgent care since she passed because of stress related issues from that event.

I'm sorry for your loss and I hope that your condition improves soon