All of us AB's have our own inner struggles to try and sort out.
It took me decades to finally become accepting of myself as a person.
I admit that I have performed a lot of emotionally beating myself up for being "different" in this way on top of having the lifelong developmental disabilities of Autism and Cerebral Palsy.
My "Inner Baby/Inner Child" is permanently psychologically "fused on the outside" instead of being pounded-down and remaining hidden.
I am okay with it.