My incontinent GF, advise needed

[Soggy247]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 20 months and we are both incontinent. I have struggled with urine incontinence on and off for most of my life and my gf has been totally incontinent all her life. I am only incontinent of urine but my gf is double incontinent. We both dribble and spurt urine constantly with zero control, but i can make to the toilet for messes. My gf can make it to the toilet for messing around 70% of the time as she has a very dull indication but a very short time frame to get to there. If she can get to the toilet quick enough or if she is awake she will make it, if not she will mess herself. My gf will mess herself in her sleep fairly often but its only occasional she will mess herself during the day, but it does happen.

As a result, we both wear adult tape on nappies. Our go to for a daily are tena maxi and ultima active fit. I switch about depending on how tight the clothing I wear, v.s how much absorbancy I need.
I wear mine with a booster and plastic pants vertially all the time. I wear baggy shorts/jeans and long t shirts mostly so I dont worry about bulk or crinkle. My only worry is people will smell me when im wet and I worry about leaks so I tend to go for heavy protection during the day. When I'm sleeping i wear heavy protection but I dont wear plastic pants to allow my skin to breathe and in bed, its not so much of a worry if i smell or leak a little.

My gf is kinda the opposite. She wears hers without a booster and plastic pants during the day, but wears a booster and plastic pants at night. My gf says she does it this way to help keep any leaks at bay during the night when she messes, but she likes her skin to breath during the day. She dosent like wearing heavy protection or plastic pants during the day as she worries people will hear her crinkle or see the bulk and put 2 & 2 together and realise she is wearing a nappy under her nice girly clothes.

Whilst i totally get her mentality and being incontinent myself, i understand why she wants to remain undiscovered and wear her nice clothes. When you look at her up the pub or when were out and about, you would have no idea she is wearing a nappy under her jeans. She is super discrete, but that comes with a cost, A cost i know she does not account for. . . Its the smell. She smells allot and I'm not sure how to broach the subject with her.

We've been together for 20 months and we are looking to move in together before the year is out. We are very close and like a pair of love struck puppy dogs. I love the bones of her and i feel we are just ment to be together. We have no inhibitions with eachother and totally accept eachothers nappies and incontinence. She knows I'm also a dl and thinks its cute that i like seeing her in nappies so were totally in the open and comfortable with eachother, however. .
She is a sensitive soul and has had a pretty tough time in life with her incontinence and her nappies so she is very, very sensitive around the subject.

From what my gf tells me from when she was younger, she wore disposable nappies and I think her parent's and grandma did a good job of keeping her nappies hidden from the world as best they could. They always brought her clothes that hid her nappies and were always very sensitive about her privacy when they changed her and stuff, and i dont think allot of people knew she wore nappies, including the school she went to. Her grandma used to take her home for lunch and would often change her then and take her back to school afterwards. She absolutely loved her mum and granma but I dont think they had allot of money and I think there was allot of alcohol involved when she was growing up in the 80s.

Although she was very loved and cared for, there were times when she was left to go play for hours. She was a bit of a tomboy and would be down the park or out on the estate as us kids did to entertain ourselves in the 80s. She was brought up to be a good girl but I think sometimes things were quite laxadaisy at home and she was a little ferrel but in a nice way.

She tells me she had a good childhood but from what I gather, I dont think she had many friends. She seems to think this was partly because I dont think she was changed as often as she could have been and recalls spending allot of time in dirty, wet nappies, causing her to smell. She did say that she wasnt too forthcoming either in letting her parents know she needed a change and recals not being to botherd by the sensation of being in a full nappy. I gather that this was because its all she has ever known so it's nothing new for her and she knew no different.

Fast forward to when she was 11 and started growning up a little, she was able to gain some bowel control and was mainly messing in her sleep with the help of timed medication and would only be changed in the morning by her parents. The rest of the wet nappies she had, she would change herself throught the day. She was consious at this age of not being the smelly kid anymore but admits to being lazy and often leaking through her nappies and smelling still. The smell that followed her was the cause of allot of ridicule and bullying so I'm lead to believe and that has definitely had a large part to play in shaping her into the woman she has become today and why she is so sensitive about her incontinence and her odour.

Fast forward to present day and here's where my problems lay. She thinks she does enough to combat the smell of her incontinence and she clearly dosent. Whilst I have no problems with her having an odour when were at home and in bed, I'm a little embaressed about her odour when were out together and as daft as it sounds, I'm embaressed for her when she is at work and stuff. Sometimes she comes home from work and i can smell her wet nappy through her jeans and its quite strong.

She will often wear a tena ultima for 6 or 7 hours and where she hasnt drank allot, she isnt hugely wet, so she dosent see the need to change and waste nappies but her pee is very strong and smelly. I've seen the colour of her nappy when she changes and sometimes and its very yellow. Sometimes when she opens her nappy to change it, it makes the room smell of her pee. The nappies, as we all know will sometimes get damp around the leg cuffs and that dampness starts to smell. Where she wont wear plastic pants, that smell permeates her clothes and it is starting to permeate on my sofa but like i say, she is totally nose blind and in her eyes, she thinks she dosent smell and does enough to stay clean.

The other week we were out together in a town doing some touristy sight seeing and she had a messy accident, filling her nappy completely. From what i could gather it was very large and totally unexpected. She did start to smell pretty quickly but we didnt take too long to find a place for her to change. When she came out of the disabled toilet, i was sure i could still smell her but we were out in the open air. It wasnt until we sat down in a cafe that i was totally sure she was still smelly. I can only assume she didnt quite get properly clean but she was totally unaware of her odour. When we got in the car together i had to open the window a touch.

Another thing she dosent realise is that her vagina smells of stale pee all the time. Even after a bath and shower, i can still smell her pee on there. Its like the pee smell is engrained into her libia but again, she dosent seem to smell it.

I've tried to gently introduce her to wearing plastic pants during the day (to help contain her smell) but she was having none of it and ive tried dropping sone really, really soft, humours hints but she was very frosty towards them. I dont want upset her by outright telling her that she smells and she needs to change more and clean up better. I certainly dont want to hurt her because i love her. . .

How do i have that discussion with her without hurting her???.

All ideas welcome. . .

 

[Moo]

"Honey, I love you and for your sake, there's something I need to tell you.
I know this won't be easy for you to hear, in fact it may be very difficult, but you really, really need to hear this because I'm concerned about you.
Do not just reject this, do not brush it off. This is serious, and its affecting you even if you don't want to admit it.
The issue is that your incontinence is noticible from smell. I notice it, and I'm incontinent myself, so I'm sure other people do too.
You're desensitized to the smells, so you can't smell them, but other people can.
I don't want this to cause you problems in social settings, such as at work. So you need to know this is a problem even if you don't realize it.
The good news is that there's a lot you can do about it.
To start with, your pee is very yellow and smells strongly, which suggests you are dehydrated. You need to drink more water. Dehydration can cause a lot of other problems too, beyond this, and I think you're suffering from it, whether you realize it or not. You may also want to try washing out your vagina, as the pee does build up there and create an odor.
For poop, its really just a matter of cleaning up really, really well. Take more time on cleaning. I have a couple of ideas for things that might help, like the giant wipes from Northshore. I'd be happy to change you with them a few times so you can get a better feel for what's needed in terms of cleaning. There might be parts you are missing or are hard to get to.
For both pee and poop, I think you need to wear plastic pants. I know you don't want to. I know you dislike the idea. But I still think you need to. Your not wearing them is causing the smell to permeate your clothes, furniture, etc, wearing them is much easier than, for example, cleaning furniture, or dealing with social issues from your clothes.
I know this is a lot to take in and its definitely not what you want to hear, but again, I'm concerned about you. I worry that dehydration, and perceived hygiene issues are going to affect your life negatively unless you take the necessary steps to fix these problems. Of course I'm happy to help you tackle them, but you need to be willing to take action, not just ignore or deny the problem. I love you and I realize you're sensitive about this, I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to hear it, you need to accept it, because you can't tackle the problem unless you accept it exists. If you don't tackle this problem, it is going to continue harming you in ways you may not realize. I don't want you to get a reputation at work. I don't want you to experience social isolation because of this. I love you and want you to have a happy life, so I know you need to address this.
"

Key points:
- be clear about the problem
- offer a bunch of ideas for solutions
- make it clear you're willing to help with the solutions
- reiterate that you know she doesn't want to deal with this, but she NEEDS to deal with this as its hurting her even if she doesn't realize it
- make sure she knows you're not saying this to be critical, you're saying this because you're concerned for her

Bear in mind that I'm likely autistic, gay, and have pretty much no experience when dealing with advising women on sensitive topics. So I'm likely a lot more blunt than you're comfortable with being. Maybe even too blunt for her to handle. But from my point of view, its clear that dropping subtle hints hasn't worked, its clear that she's resisting your suggestions. So unless you can uncover the source of her resistance, (hard to do when she won't discuss it), your only choice is to confront the issue head on. Use obvious care/love to make it clear you're doing so out of concern for her, so she's more likely to take it as a "my boyfriend wants to help me" than a criticism. Make it clear its a temporary, solvable issue if she's willing to solve it. If she's still in denial by that point... I'm not sure there's anything you can do.

 

[Soggy247]

Well, ive got to say moo, that was quite the read and to be honest, that was a very good way of saying it. Women are alot more sensitive than men and i just want to be kind to her and help her. Hopefully she will see that, but i worry she will think I'm not attracted to her and i think shes unclean. I personally have no issues with her odour at home if shes having a lazy day. She cant help her incontinence and I love her no matter what. I dont want her thinking I'm put off by her and her smell, because I'm not. She is very clean within herself and i know she will be mortified if i tell her that i can smell her nappies and her incontinence and I'm pretty sure others can too. . .

Youve deffo given me alot to think about there so thank you moo.

 

[OnePiece]

Being married to a woman, I would try to find a way to tell her in a less blunt way...

Some things that can help with her odor problem could be:
Drink more water to get thinner and less smelly urine.
Change diapers more frequently. This will help both smell from diaper and crotch area and stop smell from permeating to clothes and furniture.
More thorough cleaning after poop with lots of wipes.
I would't recommend washing out vagina as that can cause problems for her. A good soak in a bathtub with a little fragrance would be better.
Plastic pants to contain smell during day and no PP at night.
To help silence the PP, she can wear a full coverage panty over it (granny panty) or a bike shorts.
Trying to air out when she/you have the possibility, like sitting bottom naked on a bed protection sheet watching TV.

I think this would make the urine smell fade away gradually.
Hope things work out for you both.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

Hi there

Well done on being so supportive of your gf so far - being doubly incontinent since birth has got to be tough. It’s clear she’s developed thick skin to handle this, but has become so used to the smells that it doesn’t register.

One thing that may be helpful is chlorophyll pills. These act as an internal deodorant, and when you mess, it makes your stool smell less obvious.

In terms of broaching the subject, it’s tough to bring up, but if you offer a solution which will help her manage her health issues more discreetly, it will go a long way to make the subject less awkward, because you’re focusing on the solution to the issue, rather than the issue itself.

Hope this helps somewhat.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[rennecfox]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 20 months and we are both incontinent. I have struggled with urine incontinence on and off for most of my life and my gf has been totally incontinent all her life. I am only incontinent of urine but my gf is double incontinent. We both dribble and spurt urine constantly with zero control, but i can make to the toilet for messes. My gf can make it to the toilet for messing around 70% of the time as she has a very dull indication but a very short time frame to get to there. If she can get to the toilet quick enough or if she is awake she will make it, if not she will mess herself. My gf will mess herself in her sleep fairly often but its only occasional she will mess herself during the day, but it does happen.

As a result, we both wear adult tape on nappies. Our go to for a daily are tena maxi and ultima active fit. I switch about depending on how tight the clothing I wear, v.s how much absorbancy I need.
I wear mine with a booster and plastic pants vertially all the time. I wear baggy shorts/jeans and long t shirts mostly so I dont worry about bulk or crinkle. My only worry is people will smell me when im wet and I worry about leaks so I tend to go for heavy protection during the day. When I'm sleeping i wear heavy protection but I dont wear plastic pants to allow my skin to breathe and in bed, its not so much of a worry if i smell or leak a little.

My gf is kinda the opposite. She wears hers without a booster and plastic pants during the day, but wears a booster and plastic pants at night. My gf says she does it this way to help keep any leaks at bay during the night when she messes, but she likes her skin to breath during the day. She dosent like wearing heavy protection or plastic pants during the day as she worries people will hear her crinkle or see the bulk and put 2 & 2 together and realise she is wearing a nappy under her nice girly clothes.

Whilst i totally get her mentality and being incontinent myself, i understand why she wants to remain undiscovered and wear her nice clothes. When you look at her up the pub or when were out and about, you would have no idea she is wearing a nappy under her jeans. She is super discrete, but that comes with a cost, A cost i know she does not account for. . . Its the smell. She smells allot and I'm not sure how to broach the subject with her.

We've been together for 20 months and we are looking to move in together before the year is out. We are very close and like a pair of love struck puppy dogs. I love the bones of her and i feel we are just ment to be together. We have no inhibitions with eachother and totally accept eachothers nappies and incontinence. She knows I'm also a dl and thinks its cute that i like seeing her in nappies so were totally in the open and comfortable with eachother, however. .
She is a sensitive soul and has had a pretty tough time in life with her incontinence and her nappies so she is very, very sensitive around the subject.

From what my gf tells me from when she was younger, she wore disposable nappies and I think her parent's and grandma did a good job of keeping her nappies hidden from the world as best they could. They always brought her clothes that hid her nappies and were always very sensitive about her privacy when they changed her and stuff, and i dont think allot of people knew she wore nappies, including the school she went to. Her grandma used to take her home for lunch and would often change her then and take her back to school afterwards. She absolutely loved her mum and granma but I dont think they had allot of money and I think there was allot of alcohol involved when she was growing up in the 80s.

Although she was very loved and cared for, there were times when she was left to go play for hours. She was a bit of a tomboy and would be down the park or out on the estate as us kids did to entertain ourselves in the 80s. She was brought up to be a good girl but I think sometimes things were quite laxadaisy at home and she was a little ferrel but in a nice way.

She tells me she had a good childhood but from what I gather, I dont think she had many friends. She seems to think this was partly because I dont think she was changed as often as she could have been and recalls spending allot of time in dirty, wet nappies, causing her to smell. She did say that she wasnt too forthcoming either in letting her parents know she needed a change and recals not being to botherd by the sensation of being in a full nappy. I gather that this was because its all she has ever known so it's nothing new for her and she knew no different.

Fast forward to when she was 11 and started growning up a little, she was able to gain some bowel control and was mainly messing in her sleep with the help of timed medication and would only be changed in the morning by her parents. The rest of the wet nappies she had, she would change herself throught the day. She was consious at this age of not being the smelly kid anymore but admits to being lazy and often leaking through her nappies and smelling still. The smell that followed her was the cause of allot of ridicule and bullying so I'm lead to believe and that has definitely had a large part to play in shaping her into the woman she has become today and why she is so sensitive about her incontinence and her odour.

Fast forward to present day and here's where my problems lay. She thinks she does enough to combat the smell of her incontinence and she clearly dosent. Whilst I have no problems with her having an odour when were at home and in bed, I'm a little embaressed about her odour when were out together and as daft as it sounds, I'm embaressed for her when she is at work and stuff. Sometimes she comes home from work and i can smell her wet nappy through her jeans and its quite strong.

She will often wear a tena ultima for 6 or 7 hours and where she hasnt drank allot, she isnt hugely wet, so she dosent see the need to change and waste nappies but her pee is very strong and smelly. I've seen the colour of her nappy when she changes and sometimes and its very yellow. Sometimes when she opens her nappy to change it, it makes the room smell of her pee. The nappies, as we all know will sometimes get damp around the leg cuffs and that dampness starts to smell. Where she wont wear plastic pants, that smell permeates her clothes and it is starting to permeate on my sofa but like i say, she is totally nose blind and in her eyes, she thinks she dosent smell and does enough to stay clean.

The other week we were out together in a town doing some touristy sight seeing and she had a messy accident, filling her nappy completely. From what i could gather it was very large and totally unexpected. She did start to smell pretty quickly but we didnt take too long to find a place for her to change. When she came out of the disabled toilet, i was sure i could still smell her but we were out in the open air. It wasnt until we sat down in a cafe that i was totally sure she was still smelly. I can only assume she didnt quite get properly clean but she was totally unaware of her odour. When we got in the car together i had to open the window a touch.

Another thing she dosent realise is that her vagina smells of stale pee all the time. Even after a bath and shower, i can still smell her pee on there. Its like the pee smell is engrained into her libia but again, she dosent seem to smell it.

I've tried to gently introduce her to wearing plastic pants during the day (to help contain her smell) but she was having none of it and ive tried dropping sone really, really soft, humours hints but she was very frosty towards them. I dont want upset her by outright telling her that she smells and she needs to change more and clean up better. I certainly dont want to hurt her because i love her. . .

How do i have that discussion with her without hurting her???.

All ideas welcome.

Funny you should ask, was thinking about posting a review on these here after this weekend after being impressed by them, but body mint sport, I've tried alot of internal deodorants, this one actually seems to get the job done in 1 pill in the morning and one at night. Also rubber pants or plastic pants.

 

[Edgewater]

Love where your heart is good friend!

From a purely biological stand point, being 'nose blind' is a real physical problem and can be DNA based. Add incontinence and it becomes even more problematic.

There is no question, dehydration is dangerous and even more so when it is happening over expensive time! If she comments about using more diapers, that is a clue about why she is less bothered by longer times between changes, they could not afford more diapers. As you may know, I use cloth diapers during the day as being wet is very noticeable to the wearer and I tend to change more often. Major Points: Increase pure water intake, increase number of changes during the day.

Household wash machine soap! You need to look at a major up-grade as what you are currently using is not strong enough! The choice starts with whether you have hard water or not! Hard water and water with heavy mineral context (which is one in the same) causes most washing soaps to not get the cloths clean. I would like to provide a list here. but we have soft water and haven't a clue. But know that it is a problem.

Growing up poor sucks, been there! It affects everything and that includes baths /showers! If your shower is large enough joint shower and wash each other! Have fun and here again, if one has hard water, you need to be looking for product that can cut the natural body oils to help deep cleaning.

I use Northshore Trifecta Plastic Pants as they are long lasting and comfortable. And they are not noise!!

 

[Roland007]

It has been said before: honest but respectful, straight to the point but politely. You don't want to hurt her feeling, and you can say that as well.

some additional insights for a strategy. From a psychological point of view: men usually (statistically) want to solve issues and use that a starting position in a discussion. Women statistically need to talk about issues and reflect before they ask for a solution. If she had time to think about your perceived issue and agrees it needs to be solved, she will be more cooperative in the thinking about what the best solution might be.

 

[camdendl]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 20 months and we are both incontinent. I have struggled with urine incontinence on and off for most of my life and my gf has been totally incontinent all her life. I am only incontinent of urine but my gf is double incontinent. We both dribble and spurt urine constantly with zero control, but i can make to the toilet for messes. My gf can make it to the toilet for messing around 70% of the time as she has a very dull indication but a very short time frame to get to there. If she can get to the toilet quick enough or if she is awake she will make it, if not she will mess herself. My gf will mess herself in her sleep fairly often but its only occasional she will mess herself during the day, but it does happen.

As a result, we both wear adult tape on nappies. Our go to for a daily are tena maxi and ultima active fit. I switch about depending on how tight the clothing I wear, v.s how much absorbancy I need.
I wear mine with a booster and plastic pants vertially all the time. I wear baggy shorts/jeans and long t shirts mostly so I dont worry about bulk or crinkle. My only worry is people will smell me when im wet and I worry about leaks so I tend to go for heavy protection during the day. When I'm sleeping i wear heavy protection but I dont wear plastic pants to allow my skin to breathe and in bed, its not so much of a worry if i smell or leak a little.

My gf is kinda the opposite. She wears hers without a booster and plastic pants during the day, but wears a booster and plastic pants at night. My gf says she does it this way to help keep any leaks at bay during the night when she messes, but she likes her skin to breath during the day. She dosent like wearing heavy protection or plastic pants during the day as she worries people will hear her crinkle or see the bulk and put 2 & 2 together and realise she is wearing a nappy under her nice girly clothes.

Whilst i totally get her mentality and being incontinent myself, i understand why she wants to remain undiscovered and wear her nice clothes. When you look at her up the pub or when were out and about, you would have no idea she is wearing a nappy under her jeans. She is super discrete, but that comes with a cost, A cost i know she does not account for. . . Its the smell. She smells allot and I'm not sure how to broach the subject with her.

We've been together for 20 months and we are looking to move in together before the year is out. We are very close and like a pair of love struck puppy dogs. I love the bones of her and i feel we are just ment to be together. We have no inhibitions with eachother and totally accept eachothers nappies and incontinence. She knows I'm also a dl and thinks its cute that i like seeing her in nappies so were totally in the open and comfortable with eachother, however. .
She is a sensitive soul and has had a pretty tough time in life with her incontinence and her nappies so she is very, very sensitive around the subject.

From what my gf tells me from when she was younger, she wore disposable nappies and I think her parent's and grandma did a good job of keeping her nappies hidden from the world as best they could. They always brought her clothes that hid her nappies and were always very sensitive about her privacy when they changed her and stuff, and i dont think allot of people knew she wore nappies, including the school she went to. Her grandma used to take her home for lunch and would often change her then and take her back to school afterwards. She absolutely loved her mum and granma but I dont think they had allot of money and I think there was allot of alcohol involved when she was growing up in the 80s.

Although she was very loved and cared for, there were times when she was left to go play for hours. She was a bit of a tomboy and would be down the park or out on the estate as us kids did to entertain ourselves in the 80s. She was brought up to be a good girl but I think sometimes things were quite laxadaisy at home and she was a little ferrel but in a nice way.

She tells me she had a good childhood but from what I gather, I dont think she had many friends. She seems to think this was partly because I dont think she was changed as often as she could have been and recalls spending allot of time in dirty, wet nappies, causing her to smell. She did say that she wasnt too forthcoming either in letting her parents know she needed a change and recals not being to botherd by the sensation of being in a full nappy. I gather that this was because its all she has ever known so it's nothing new for her and she knew no different.

Fast forward to when she was 11 and started growning up a little, she was able to gain some bowel control and was mainly messing in her sleep with the help of timed medication and would only be changed in the morning by her parents. The rest of the wet nappies she had, she would change herself throught the day. She was consious at this age of not being the smelly kid anymore but admits to being lazy and often leaking through her nappies and smelling still. The smell that followed her was the cause of allot of ridicule and bullying so I'm lead to believe and that has definitely had a large part to play in shaping her into the woman she has become today and why she is so sensitive about her incontinence and her odour.

Fast forward to present day and here's where my problems lay. She thinks she does enough to combat the smell of her incontinence and she clearly dosent. Whilst I have no problems with her having an odour when were at home and in bed, I'm a little embaressed about her odour when were out together and as daft as it sounds, I'm embaressed for her when she is at work and stuff. Sometimes she comes home from work and i can smell her wet nappy through her jeans and its quite strong.

She will often wear a tena ultima for 6 or 7 hours and where she hasnt drank allot, she isnt hugely wet, so she dosent see the need to change and waste nappies but her pee is very strong and smelly. I've seen the colour of her nappy when she changes and sometimes and its very yellow. Sometimes when she opens her nappy to change it, it makes the room smell of her pee. The nappies, as we all know will sometimes get damp around the leg cuffs and that dampness starts to smell. Where she wont wear plastic pants, that smell permeates her clothes and it is starting to permeate on my sofa but like i say, she is totally nose blind and in her eyes, she thinks she dosent smell and does enough to stay clean.

The other week we were out together in a town doing some touristy sight seeing and she had a messy accident, filling her nappy completely. From what i could gather it was very large and totally unexpected. She did start to smell pretty quickly but we didnt take too long to find a place for her to change. When she came out of the disabled toilet, i was sure i could still smell her but we were out in the open air. It wasnt until we sat down in a cafe that i was totally sure she was still smelly. I can only assume she didnt quite get properly clean but she was totally unaware of her odour. When we got in the car together i had to open the window a touch.

Another thing she dosent realise is that her vagina smells of stale pee all the time. Even after a bath and shower, i can still smell her pee on there. Its like the pee smell is engrained into her libia but again, she dosent seem to smell it.

I've tried to gently introduce her to wearing plastic pants during the day (to help contain her smell) but she was having none of it and ive tried dropping sone really, really soft, humours hints but she was very frosty towards them. I dont want upset her by outright telling her that she smells and she needs to change more and clean up better. I certainly dont want to hurt her because i love her. . .

How do i have that discussion with her without hurting her???.

All ideas welcome. . .

First of all, It’s good to hear you’re supportive of your girlfriend and care about her well being. I can see that you do love her and care about her.

It sounds like to me you need to have an honest, but discreet conversation about her smell and methods of hygiene when it comes her diapers and changing. Don’t be blunt, but gentle. Ask her what is she doing or using to clean and come up with suggestions to prevent the smell. You mentioned that she was not always forthcoming as a child when she was due for a diaper change and not bothered wearing full diapers. She most likely gotten used to this wearing wet diapers so her smell is normal to her. I still in diapers until I was 5 years old and remembered the smell of a full diaper (wet or messy) barely smelled from my perception, because I was used to it, but to others they could smell me a mile away.

She will need to start drinking water and get changed more often when she’s at work. If her used diapers are soggy with strong yellow pee, it means she dehydrated which isn’t healthy and staying in the same diaper for 6-7hours isn’t healthy for her skin and health. She can get rashes and infections especially since she’s not drinking water. Her urine is like acid and can burn her if she’s not careful. I don’t know anything about plastic pants since I wear disposable diapers, but she try boosters and talcum free baby powder to keep her fresh. If you can constantly smell her and her diapers, then I’m positive, her coworkers, and clients can smell her too and talk about her in a negative way.

Be honest with her and carefully bring up the subject. I know you said she’s sensitive and might get offended, but if you guys love each other like you said and plan to take your relationship to the next level and move in together. You’ll need to have those hard conversations and she’ll need to learn to handle criticism because if she doesn’t hear about her smell from you she will hear it from other even strangers and bring it up to you where you’ll have to tell her anyway. Good luck my friend!

 

[Soggy247]

Well, sorry for the late reply, I have been super busy and just havent been in a position to reply.

Thank you so much for all the advise i have recieved. Its helped me to have the talk with my GF.

The talk went well. I waited until she was in a smelly nappy and then gently asked if she could smell herself. She was totally unaware that she was indeed starting to smell later in the day and when she had a messy accident.
It wasnt easy and she did shed a tear, but i held her tight and told her that i honestly didnt mind and she is still the attractive woman i met, i just didnt want her to be smelly and have others talk about her.

Since then, she has been changing allot more frequently amd she has started to wear plastic pants more. We also have a pact that if i can smell her and her nappy, i will quietly say something so as to save her blushes.

All in all, it all went well, so thank you guys for the awesome advise.

 

[Hemix]

Moo was incredible here, I'm really happy everything went well. Hey, if thou wantest an idea for when thou'rt out and around people, perhaps ye could use a special sign if ye need it, it's a more intimate, discreet and sweet way to say it

 

[DreamerBenenedicte]

Glad you were able to have this conversation with her. Does her smell issue really improved since?

I'm afraid I have the same issue than your girlfriend

Not fecal incontinent but I tend to have the same protection management than her. Lighter protection during the day to keep it discreet. And sometimes have minor leaks on my clothes (mostly through legs cuffs on my panties) during the day. Often happens when wearing Tena Lady pads sitting at my desk in the office and too busy to watch the time and miss preventive bathroom break... In that case I feel wetter than normal and run replace the pad! And when someone is in the other toilet cubicle I sometimes skips the wiping with incontinence wet wipes to avoid the embarrassing noise of the package. Also too win some time on my too many bathroom breaks...

My protections are always yellowish (more or less dark) because of my urinary retention issues. But it's the case even when regularly replacing them (average every 3 hours (often more for Tena pants but way less amount of time for pads).

Regarding the smell, I'm afraid to be quite nose blind. I smell myself though my pyjamas or nightshirts in the morning. Sometimes it's quite bad. But it's after an entire night with the same protection (Tena Pants Maxi). Younger, at home with bedwetting issues, my mother made an emphasis on the importance to air my room in the morning. Even during freezing winters Maybe that I already smelled worst than others drynites user? Turns out that I already had urinary retention / overactive bladder problems as a teen.

And during the day, when I pull down my panties with pads or pull ups, I can definitely tell they don't smell good.
But do you think someone can smell that through my clothes?
It's also true that pee smell lingers in my groin and folds. I can tell that when I run my fingers and smell them afterwards. Even after my regular morning shower. Is it possible that people smells that through my clothes?

 

[Soggy247]

@DreamerBen.

First of all, sorry to hear about your incontinence issues.

So, in response to your questions :-

Since i had the conversation with my GF she has certainly made improvements and smells less during the day. There are times where i can still smell her, such as. . . When we wake up, as you say, she smells quite strong but thats because she has been in the same diaper/nappy all night so thats to be expected. There are also times where she does smell slightly during the day, but its not as bad as it was. Her odour was strong and noticeable from several feet away. Now, if i do catch a whiff of her, i have to be really close and its not as strong as it was.

My GF is similar to you in a way that she dribbles and spurts constantly into her diapers but she also suffers from larger leaks so because of that she has to wear tape on diapers/nappies as the tena pants and pads simply dont contain her leaks.

She used to have allot of small leaks from her diaper leg cuffs into her panties much like yourself and as much as i hate to say, those leaks used to make her smell quite strong. Once her damp patches had dried, there was a distinct odour of pee coming from her.

Much like yourself, my GF dosent smell herself and although she says when she opens up her diaper to change it, she can smell her incontinence, but unless she opens it directly, she dosent seem to smell her diapers. This where i have had to try and guide her because i can smell when she needs a change long before she has realised she is wet and needs changing.

As for her vagina, she does do her best to keep it clean and fresh but unfortunately, when its constantly in contact with pee, its going to smell. I dont think anyone who is incontinent and wears protection all day long will smell fresh down there as the smell does get ingrained on the skin, its just a fact of life but regular showers will definitely help keep the smell down.

If my GF has not showered or by the end of the day and has just put a dry diaper on, without plastic pants, then yes i can smell her vagina through her clothes and diaper, but its more so when she moves about or sits down. Its like a small puff of odour escapes and then the smell clears when she is sat still.

My GF is very clean and self conscious but like yourself, she had a smelly bedroom when she was a child/teen and her room was aired out allot. I think having to sleep and spending allot of time in wet diapes certainly promotes nose blindness.

As for the questions regarding if you smell and people can smell you, i cant give a clear answer because i havent met you in real life so i couldnt possibly say if you smell or not. What i can say is, through experience, wet pads will smell allot more than diapers. Pads dont incase all of the vagina like a diaper does so i have found that pads smell stronger, quicker and if your vagina smells with a pad, theres a good chance that smell will be stronger because it has more chance of escaping. The tena pants smell more than diapers too as the seal on the leg cuffs arent as good as diapers so again, the smell has more chance of escaping. Even with tena maxi and ultima, tape on diapers, my GF was still emitting an odour so that will give you an indication on how strong that odour is.

My GF is now wearing plastic pants over her diapers during the day and that has really helped to contain her incontinence odour. More so than anything else she has done. She, like yourself dosent wipe at every change and although i could clearly smell her before, with the plastic pants, i smell her allot less.

I think for women, incontinence is allot more of an issue as far as odour goes. Womens pee smells stronger than mens and often, when its dried on clothes and stuff, it can be really strong, especially during certain times of the monthly cycle. I also think for women, people will not confront you about your pee odour as i believe women are more polite to each other and are more prone to incontinence than men so female work colleagues and friends are deffo going to be more understanding and less likley to mention it.

I remember years ago i worked with a woman and i could tell she wore pads and had leaks. I never saw anything but slowly durning the day, as the morning went on , she would start to smell stronger until lunch when she clearly changed her pad and then she didn't smell, but as the course of the afternoon went on, i would start to smell her and her incontinence again, indicating that her pad was again becoming wet. Again, although i could smell her, I'm not sure if others did as it was never mentioned and i didnt say anything to her as i felt that would be inpolite.

All in all, incontinence does smell and it makes the person smell, its just all about how we manage it and how we keep that smell down.

As much as i would like to say that you dont smell, i would egde my bets that there are probably times that you may be emitting an odour, but i think that's the case for all of us who are incontinent.

I hope this helps, and pls dont hesitate to get in touch if theres anything else i can help with.

 

[foxkits]

You might try a pul pull on pant to lets air in better for skin at night.
Drink more water is right on.
My girlfriend has the same issues.
Changing more often is best.
Cuts down on urinal trac infections
Some of the smell can be one of those. Don't forget about yeast infection can smell too.
Hair can hold onto smell also.
My girlfriend some times don't know she smells also because a life time of being incontinent you become insensitive to smells it's normal.
Just keep a lookout for yeast infections UTI infections.
Have her clean things out more often as to keep the box clear and clean. I very kindly tell my girlfriend.
She's got a little smelly.
Best to you both.

 

[hbic60]

Not fecal incontinent but I tend to have the same protection management than her. Lighter protection during the day to keep it discreet. And sometimes have minor leaks on my clothes (mostly through legs cuffs on my panties) during the day. Often happens when wearing Tena Lady pads sitting at my desk in the office and too busy to watch the time and miss preventive bathroom break... In that case I feel wetter than normal and run replace the pad! And when someone is in the other toilet cubicle I sometimes skips the wiping with incontinence wet wipes to avoid the embarrassing noise of the package. Also too win some time on my too many bathroom breaks...

... and this might be an issue - lighter protection to keep it discreet isn't always the best. In my experience wearing a more proper protection with appropriate leg guards and better saturation level and good odor control system lead to much, much less leaks and with that to less embarrassing smell and damp clothing. Wearing good protection might also lead to not needing preventive bathroom breaks but - for me for example - only once around lunchtime. I don't care if someone could hear my changing in the toilet stall - I've a medical condition and a good reason why I need protection and this is no-one's business!

My protections are always yellowish (more or less dark) because of my urinary retention issues. But it's the case even when regularly replacing them (average every 3 hours (often more for Tena pants but way less amount of time for pads).

Always yellowish is for me a sign of being some level of dehydrated. Drinking more (water) leads to a nearly clear urine which smells much, much less and does not irritate the bladder like the concentrated one.

Regarding the smell, I'm afraid to be quite nose blind. I smell myself though my pyjamas or nightshirts in the morning. Sometimes it's quite bad. But it's after an entire night with the same protection (Tena Pants Maxi).

I think this is quite normal. I myself also, in the morning if I go with my head under the blankets I can smell my diaper (Tena Proskin Maxi or Super Seni Quatro) - quite natural after wearing (and using) for 12 hours or more that's unavoidable. But after showering or washing in the morning with a good soap and switching to my daytime Attends Flex diaper I don't smell any more!

And during the day, when I pull down my panties with pads or pull ups, I can definitely tell they don't smell good.
But do you think someone can smell that through my clothes?
It's also true that pee smell lingers in my groin and folds. I can tell that when I run my fingers and smell them afterwards. Even after my regular morning shower. Is it possible that people smells that through my clothes?

Again, I won't use pads or pull ups which are open to the sides and around - use a better, more reliable protection!

If you are really smelling only someone else would be able to tell. I'm very sure that during the day I don't smell, my wife would let me know for sure whenever she would remark something like that!

 

[DreamerBenenedicte]

@DreamerBen.

First of all, sorry to hear about your incontinence issues.

Thanks for this kind and comprehensive reply!

So, in response to your questions :-

Since i had the conversation with my GF she has certainly made improvements and smells less during the day. There are times where i can still smell her, such as. . . When we wake up, as you say, she smells quite strong but thats because she has been in the same diaper/nappy all night so thats to be expected. There are also times where she does smell slightly during the day, but its not as bad as it was. Her odour was strong and noticeable from several feet away. Now, if i do catch a whiff of her, i have to be really close and its not as strong as it was.

I'm glad you both managed to improve this sensitive situation

My GF is similar to you in a way that she dribbles and spurts constantly into her diapers but she also suffers from larger leaks so because of that she has to wear tape on diapers/nappies as the tena pants and pads simply dont contain her leaks.

She used to have allot of small leaks from her diaper leg cuffs into her panties much like yourself and as much as i hate to say, those leaks used to make her smell quite strong. Once her damp patches had dried, there was a distinct odour of pee coming from her.

Much like yourself, my GF dosent smell herself and although she says when she opens up her diaper to change it, she can smell her incontinence, but unless she opens it directly, she dosent seem to smell her diapers. This where i have had to try and guide her because i can smell when she needs a change long before she has realised she is wet and needs changing.

Hope it's not the same with people around me. Smelling me before I even know it's time to change
Maybe it's because you are very close to her? And knows her very well...

As for her vagina, she does do her best to keep it clean and fresh but unfortunately, when its constantly in contact with pee, its going to smell. I dont think anyone who is incontinent and wears protection all day long will smell fresh down there as the smell does get ingrained on the skin, its just a fact of life but regular showers will definitely help keep the smell down.

If my GF has not showered or by the end of the day and has just put a dry diaper on, without plastic pants, then yes i can smell her vagina through her clothes and diaper, but its more so when she moves about or sits down. Its like a small puff of odour escapes and then the smell clears when she is sat still.

My GF is very clean and self conscious but like yourself, she had a smelly bedroom when she was a child/teen and her room was aired out allot. I think having to sleep and spending allot of time in wet diapes certainly promotes nose blindness.

As for the questions regarding if you smell and people can smell you, i cant give a clear answer because i havent met you in real life so i couldnt possibly say if you smell or not. What i can say is, through experience, wet pads will smell allot more than diapers. Pads dont incase all of the vagina like a diaper does so i have found that pads smell stronger, quicker and if your vagina smells with a pad, theres a good chance that smell will be stronger because it has more chance of escaping. The tena pants smell more than diapers too as the seal on the leg cuffs arent as good as diapers so again, the smell has more chance of escaping. Even with tena maxi and ultima, tape on diapers, my GF was still emitting an odour so that will give you an indication on how strong that odour is.
My GF is now wearing plastic pants over her diapers during the day and that has really helped to contain her incontinence odour. More so than anything else she has done. She, like yourself dosent wipe at every change and although i could clearly smell her before, with the plastic pants, i smell her allot less.

I must admit you're freaking me a bit. That's not really what I expected to hear And for the records, I said I don't always wipe. But it's not a frequent habit (except maybe during the quick changes during the night ) and I consider that I have a good hygiene!

Regarding my choice of protections, I thought I found the perfect combination. To remain discreet (so important to me!), avoid leaking on my clothes and keeping my ability to go pee in the toilets without delay. But it seems that I didn't understand that odour control was not so good with those protections. Despite what it written on the Tena bags...
Do you think real diaper with tabs will make a difference? I think it would be worse if I'm trapped for hours in them without even try emptying my bladder in the toilets. Sometimes it wouldn't make a difference of what really ends up in the toilets but I still have the option to try with pads or pull ups. Also would be super visible from my coworkers!

At night it's another story. To be honest I already thought about trying diapers. Maybe they would feel less uncomfortable when wet (with less leaks around the leg cuffs) and I would more often sleep though the night? Also they are less expensive. And no one would see or judge me anyway...

In term of using plastic pants I can't imagine wearing those. You or your girlfriend are not complaining about sweat, skin issues and noise? It's so hot at the moment! And how often do you need to wash them?

I think for women, incontinence is allot more of an issue as far as odour goes. Womens pee smells stronger than mens and often, when its dried on clothes and stuff, it can be really strong, especially during certain times of the monthly cycle. I also think for women, people will not confront you about your pee odour as i believe women are more polite to each other and are more prone to incontinence than men so female work colleagues and friends are deffo going to be more understanding and less likley to mention it.

I remember years ago i worked with a woman and i could tell she wore pads and had leaks. I never saw anything but slowly durning the day, as the morning went on , she would start to smell stronger until lunch when she clearly changed her pad and then she didn't smell, but as the course of the afternoon went on, i would start to smell her and her incontinence again, indicating that her pad was again becoming wet. Again, although i could smell her, I'm not sure if others did as it was never mentioned and i didnt say anything to her as i felt that would be inpolite.

It was the good choice not saying anything to her. I'm mortified at the idea of co-worker bringing up to me my incontinence issues... Except maybe a very close one (and preferably not a man) who does it to help me.

All in all, incontinence does smell and it makes the person smell, its just all about how we manage it and how we keep that smell down.

As much as i would like to say that you dont smell, i would egde my bets that there are probably times that you may be emitting an odour, but i think that's the case for all of us who are incontinent.

To be honest deep down I know that I might smell more than I want to admit. I mean I'm often afraid to smell for a reason
Only one way to be sure. I will ask the only person I'm close enough to ask. My mom.
I always hated to discuss my incontinence issues, even with her. But I'm old enough and I need to know for sure. To be reassured or react. And feel more confident in my life (personal life, at work). And I met someone, not dating yet but getting closer

I hope this helps, and pls dont hesitate to get in touch if theres anything else i can help with.

Sorry for this long rambling and thanks again for your help!

 

[Soggy247]

I'm glad you both managed to improve this sensitive situation

Thank you. Yes, we have. Its a very sensitive situation but with trust, love and respect, we are certainly getting there.

Hope it's not the same with people around me. Smelling me before I even know it's time to change
Maybe it's because you are very close to her? And knows her very well...

Like i say, it might not be the same for you, especially as you only have smaller leaks. Yes, i am close to my GF and do know her well, but again, she cant make it to the toilet and is constantly wetting herself and filling up her protection so if she has pee thats a little yellow, it smells more and i can smell her nappies pretty quickly as they are constantly being used if that makes sense.

I must admit you're freaking me a bit. That's not really what I expected to hear And for the records, I said I don't always wipe. But it's not a frequent habit (except maybe during the quick changes during the night ) and I consider that I have a good hygiene!

I am sorry, i dont mean to freak you out. I was only replying to your questions and being truthful. My GF has good hygiene too and there is nothing shameful in missing the odd wipe in-between changes. Like you say, its not always possible. She will shower twice a day sometimes. However, when she hasnt wiped, i can smell her, but again, its just a part of being incontinent. I dont mind if she has a little odour, i just try to protect her when she is at work or in public.

Regarding my choice of protections, I thought I found the perfect combination. To remain discreet (so important to me!), avoid leaking on my clothes and keeping my ability to go pee in the toilets without delay. But it seems that I didn't understand that odour control was not so good with those protections. Despite what it written on the Tena bags...
Do you think real diaper with tabs will make a difference? I think it would be worse if I'm trapped for hours in them without even try emptying my bladder in the toilets. Sometimes it wouldn't make a difference of what really ends up in the toilets but I still have the option to try with pads or pull ups. Also would be super visible from my coworkers!

If the pads and pants work for you, then that's great. Every person is different and everyone's incontinence is different so its important to find and use what is best for you and your situation. Discretion is very important to allot of us who need protection and being discrete can certainly improve confidence. For my GF she has no choice but to wear tape on diapers as she has zero control of her bladder and cannot make it to the toilet so diapers are the only thing that keep her dry. If your able to make ot to the toilet, then diapers are probably not the best option. I would recomend changing regularly, thats all.

At night it's another story. To be honest I already thought about trying diapers. Maybe they would feel less uncomfortable when wet (with less leaks around the leg cuffs) and I would more often sleep though the night? Also they are less expensive. And no one would see or judge me anyway...

Diapers at night would probably help keep you feeling dryer throught the night, leading to better sleep.

In term of using plastic pants I can't imagine wearing those. You or your girlfriend are not complaining about sweat, skin issues and noise? It's so hot at the moment! And how often do you need to wash them?

We use pants that are made from polyurethane. This material is cool to wear and is light weight. The noise can be an issue in a quiet room, but it has to be quiet to hear the crinkle under clothes. We wash them when needed, probs after a duaper leak or after a couple days of wear.

To be honest deep down I know that I might smell more than I want to admit. I mean I'm often afraid to smell for a reason
Only one way to be sure. I will ask the only person I'm close enough to ask. My mom.
I always hated to discuss my incontinence issues, even with her. But I'm old enough and I need to know for sure. To be reassured or react. And feel more confident in my life (personal life, at work). And I met someone, not dating yet but getting closer

It was hard for my GF to hear that she was smelly at times. Especially after all she has been through, but she is thankful that i told her so she can react and it be less of a worry for her now. Yes, if your close to someone like your mum, ask if she has ever noticed an odour around you. I'm sure she will be honest and then you will know if you sometimes smell or not. And that's wonderful news that you've met someone. I hope it goes well for you and i hope they are understanding of your condition. Finding the right partner who you are comfortable with is an amazing thing. I really hope you find happiness.

 

[Wetshisbed]

I am so happy for you that you have been able to tackle this very sensitive situation.

 

[DreamerBenenedicte]

Sorry to monopolies your post! And thanks again for your help.

I feel bad about my incontinence issues. And it happens more vividly at some point of my life. Then I forget quite a bit and go one with my life. Like if it was buried in my head. And some events just wakes me up. Like a co-worker confronting me. Or when I think about dating someone...

Post in thread 'Going out for the first time padded!' https://www.adisc.org/forum/threads/going-out-for-the-first-time-padded.147644/post-1835295

"Be carefull, I already got nasty remarks. Mostly at my previous work in an office. A close coworker kept complaining about a nasty smell while looking at me. Even when I was dry . I hated her but tried to be as clean as possible. But she didn't stop. Even making comments on often I was leaving my desk to the bathrooms."

"And asked many times to my parents if I smell. And they always said no.
But after my incident at work with this colleague, I asked once again. And my dad admit that I often smell a bit like stale pee. More at the end of and the day."

It's crazy that I don't remember that I already had the exact same issue and discussed it 3 years ago
To be honest I didn't think again about this problem with my colleague and the following conversation with my dad. At the time I didn't realised how strong my smell could be probably minimized the problem...

 

[DreamerBenenedicte]

Thank you. Yes, we have. Its a very sensitive situation but with trust, love and respect, we are certainly getting there.


Like i say, it might not be the same for you, especially as you only have smaller leaks. Yes, i am close to my GF and do know her well, but again, she cant make it to the toilet and is constantly wetting herself and filling up her protection so if she has pee thats a little yellow, it smells more and i can smell her nappies pretty quickly as they are constantly being used if that makes sense.

I understand exactly what you mean. Unlike your girlfriend I'm able to use the bathroom. However I dribble or spurt very very often and my protections don't stay clean very long . I don't know about you, but like her, I don't have the luxury to change every time I wet and must remain like that for a while. Then determine for how long I should/must wait depending on comfort, risk of leaks and when it's possible to change...
Fortunately, most of the time, it's not a huge amount of pee each time and the protection doesn't bulge or feels wet too fast.

I am sorry, i dont mean to freak you out. I was only replying to your questions and being truthful. My GF has good hygiene too and there is nothing shameful in missing the odd wipe in-between changes. Like you say, its not always possible. She will shower twice a day sometimes. However, when she hasnt wiped, i can smell her, but again, its just a part of being incontinent. I dont mind if she has a little odour, i just try to protect her when she is at work or in public.



If the pads and pants work for you, then that's great. Every person is different and everyone's incontinence is different so its important to find and use what is best for you and your situation. Discretion is very important to allot of us who need protection and being discrete can certainly improve confidence. For my GF she has no choice but to wear tape on diapers as she has zero control of her bladder and cannot make it to the toilet so diapers are the only thing that keep her dry. If your able to make ot to the toilet, then diapers are probably not the best option. I would recomend changing regularly, thats all.

Today at work I couldn't bare anymore the pad that one again leaked a bit on me and rubbed my tights. So I decided to leave as early as possible from work and ask for help the close-by medical store.
The team is very kind and they are knowing me for a while now

One lady (the boss) took the time to talk to me and discuss my issues. I was nearly crying when I arrived so she nicely took me to a private patient meeting-office for privacy. She ask me to describe my symptoms how I manage my incontinence. The issue with my current protections (leaks, confort, how many I use, skin health).

She seems to know her incontinence products. Even mentioned her incontinence problems after she gave birth (still has little issues two years later).
Said that if most of my bladder goes in my protections when outside of home, I shouldn't wear pads. That even thicker pads won't do the job since they shift, move, chafe and are less discrete than well adjusted pull ups... That I should keep the small pads for when at home or occasionally outside when discretion is required.
Also she discouraged me to wear full diapers even at night because it prevent me to use the toilets on time. For my self esteem also. She suggested other pull ups from Hartmann that should keep me comfortable and dry through the night. Molicare Mobile 10 (S). Do you know them? She gave me samples.
Also gave me another of the same brand (6 S), less absorbant for the day to see if I feel better with them in term of comfort, absorbancy and leaks around legs cuffs.

Everything went quite well with an open discussion. But I didn't had the courage to speak about the smell issue that I might have .
Then at the end, when I woke up in the small office, she asked me if I need the attached toilets to freshen up before leaving. The had already a "day" sample in hands. At first I didn't understand because I changed just before leaving the office less than one hour ago and didn't feel especially wet (except maybe some spurts). Also didn't do any fidgeting. Then I mechanically checked my crotch and my seat for a wet patch. No leak. Then when I looked up at her and said No, I realised that she was also looking down at my seat for a leak. She seems not to understand why I said no and that I should not hesitate. That she really didn't mind if I use their toilets and I don't have to stay like that.
So I tried to explain that I just didn't want to use their private bathroom since I didn't really feel the need to pee. That's when she interrupted me and explained that it's not exactly what she was thinking and that I might feel the need to replace the protection .
Then I immediately became all red. She was being nice but it was so difficult to explain that I was barely wet and changed not so long ago but it might be my smell anyway through my jean short . Also embarrassed, she admitted that the pee smell made her think that I couldn't change for a while before coming in her store... That to be honest, could tell about the odour shortly after I arrived. But she tried to reassure me by telling me that other clients with incontinence also smells sometimes. Not an easy part of incontinence to deal with.
When I calmed down, she gave me some advice (not as a doctor but she wanted to help): more water, less sugar, always clean somehow between changes, more changes and barrier cream (at least during night time and in the morning before leaving the house).
That's some already known knowledge to me. But maybe I forgot to apply since I didn't fully realised how much I could smell.

Diapers at night would probably help keep you feeling dryer throught the night, leading to better sleep.



We use pants that are made from polyurethane. This material is cool to wear and is light weight. The noise can be an issue in a quiet room, but it has to be quiet to hear the crinkle under clothes. We wash them when needed, probs after a duaper leak or after a couple days of wear.



It was hard for my GF to hear that she was smelly at times. Especially after all she has been through, but she is thankful that i told her so she can react and it be less of a worry for her now. Yes, if your close to someone like your mum, ask if she has ever noticed an odour around you. I'm sure she will be honest and then you will know if you sometimes smell or not. And that's wonderful news that you've met someone. I hope it goes well for you and i hope they are understanding of your condition. Finding the right partner who you are comfortable with is an amazing thing. I really hope you find happiness.

I definitely knows for sure know. It was harsh to her but was already knowing in a way.
I also will have to confront my parents. Don't see them very often but they should have told me already. Maybe they didn't know how to? Or should have be more direct instead of polite answers?

Before getting closer and dating, I will try harder and apply all advices to stop being too smelly. She knows I have "pee issues" and our period pads are useless for me. But still don't know how much and the consequences.