Leaving ABDL. AMA.

[BobbiSueEllen]

I'll be blunt: religion is psychologically, emotionally damaging, especially the OCD cycle of guilt, shame, the routine of so-called 'penance' (not to mention their rampant sexual abuse) and is a power tool used by privileged, spoiled hypocrites known as 'clergy' to keep the 'laic' down...and enforce it via equally-enslaved family & friends. That's not freedom at all...and religion spouts the word/concept "freedom" on a constant basis but is really slavery. I know...I lived it for years.

It matters not if you return to AB/DL or find another outlet elsewhere. You can still love God but you sure don't need others' chains to do it.

This has been a BSE opinion.​

 

[FatalGeometry]

I'll be blunt: religion is psychologically, emotionally damaging, especially the OCD cycle of guilt, shame, the routine of so-called 'penance' (not to mention their rampant sexual abuse) and is a power tool used by privileged, spoiled hypocrites known as 'clergy' to keep the 'laic' down...and enforce it via equally-enslaved family & friends. That's not freedom at all...and religion spouts the word/concept "freedom" on a constant basis but is really slavery. I know...I lived it for years.

It matters not if you return to AB/DL or find another outlet elsewhere. You can still love God but you sure don't need others' chains to do it.

This has been a BSE opinion.​

Boom. Couldn't have put it much better myself. It's really characteristic of how modern religious systems work that when I mention that I left the church I get loads of people trying to get me to come back or saying "I'll pray for you" which does seem vaguely threatening if not a bit weird. I left for good reasons and I'm not coming back, but no matter how many times I say that I don't want to be preached to or converted people will still keep on trying it and that's really not okay (except it's morally justified to them as they are "saving me" despite the fact that from my perspective I was saved when I left the church etc. etc.)

I made this thread as an AMA. So far I have been asked a grand total of TWO questions, one through DMs and one on this thread. I've had maybe five or six nice comments. The rest are people telling me that I can't leave, that I'm foolish to try, and that I need to "Find Jesus" or something. Great. I don't know why I expected anything differently. This level of religious pestering is borderline harassment if you ask me. Leave. It. Alone.

I don't care for anyone who says that I'll be back - it only makes it more guaranteed that I'll stay away.
I don't care for anyone who says that they hope I find faith again - it only makes it more guaranteed that I'll remain an atheist.

Thank you to the small handful of people who decided to be nice when given anonymity on the internet and didn't resort to religious squabbling, shit stirring, conviction calling, or borderline slandering.

 

[artemisenterri]

Boom. Couldn't have put it much better myself. It's really characteristic of how modern religious systems work that when I mention that I left the church I get loads of people trying to get me to come back or saying "I'll pray for you" which does seem vaguely threatening if not a bit weird. I left for good reasons and I'm not coming back, but no matter how many times I say that I don't want to be preached to or converted people will still keep on trying it and that's really not okay (except it's morally justified to them as they are "saving me" despite the fact that from my perspective I was saved when I left the church etc. etc.)

I made this thread as an AMA. So far I have been asked a grand total of TWO questions, one through DMs and one on this thread. I've had maybe five or six nice comments. The rest are people telling me that I can't leave, that I'm foolish to try, and that I need to "Find Jesus" or something. Great. I don't know why I expected anything differently. This level of religious pestering is borderline harassment if you ask me. Leave. It. Alone.

I don't care for anyone who says that I'll be back - it only makes it more guaranteed that I'll stay away.
I don't care for anyone who says that they hope I find faith again - it only makes it more guaranteed that I'll remain an atheist.

Thank you to the small handful of people who decided to be nice when given anonymity on the internet and didn't resort to religious squabbling, shit stirring, conviction calling, or borderline slandering.

Look, just for information purposes, you are only 19, your sense of "self" isn't permanently carved in stone yet, many of us here are in our 40s/50s/60s and still find thinks that challenge our mindset and/or make us question our sense of "self".

Many of the people saying "you'll come back" or "the feelings will return" are saying it from a position of DECADES of past experience, including the purge/binge cycle.

It's like going to a long-time favorite restaurant, having a bad experience and declaring "i'm never coming back here", but several months/years down the road you remember how good you felt after a meal there and your heart yearns for another meal there...

I'm not trying to preach anything, just trying to explain what I (and many others on this site) have gone through on this subject.

Until you are dead and buried, nothing in life is final...

 

[artemisenterri]

Boom. Couldn't have put it much better myself. It's really characteristic of how modern religious systems work that when I mention that I left the church I get loads of people trying to get me to come back or saying "I'll pray for you" which does seem vaguely threatening if not a bit weird. I left for good reasons and I'm not coming back, but no matter how many times I say that I don't want to be preached to or converted people will still keep on trying it and that's really not okay (except it's morally justified to them as they are "saving me" despite the fact that from my perspective I was saved when I left the church etc. etc.)

I made this thread as an AMA. So far I have been asked a grand total of TWO questions, one through DMs and one on this thread. I've had maybe five or six nice comments. The rest are people telling me that I can't leave, that I'm foolish to try, and that I need to "Find Jesus" or something. Great. I don't know why I expected anything differently. This level of religious pestering is borderline harassment if you ask me. Leave. It. Alone.

I don't care for anyone who says that I'll be back - it only makes it more guaranteed that I'll stay away.
I don't care for anyone who says that they hope I find faith again - it only makes it more guaranteed that I'll remain an atheist.

Thank you to the small handful of people who decided to be nice when given anonymity on the internet and didn't resort to religious squabbling, shit stirring, conviction calling, or borderline slandering.

So I will ask you a question: why?

What is it about being ABDL that makes you feel this is a necessary step?

 

[Moo]

Everyone, can we please keep this polite and respectful of other members, especially with regards to their beliefs, religious and otherwise?
I really, really don't want to lock this thread, but I will if people can't treat each other with respect. Consider yourselves warned, all of you.

 

[Sealander]

I made this thread as an AMA. So far I have been asked a grand total of TWO questions, one through DMs and one on this thread.

I didn't ask, but I am curious how you plan to stop and why you (at the age of 19) are so confident it will work. If you aren't willing to answer that in the thread (though I'm not sure why you wouldn't be), I'm fine with a DM.

 

[bedwetterdavid]

Hi. I've made the decision to leave ADISC and anything ABDL related as it has been impacting my personal life far too much for me to continue, similar to how addictions can. I just can't deal with all the secret keeping and my conflicting morals due to my upbringing (Catholic). This is my last thread on ADISC. Feel free to ask anything you like about why I joined, why I'm leaving, how I plan to stay away, etc. No questions are off limits (ADISC rules permitting).

I'll keep the account active for one week to reply to anyone who asks any questions, and if you want to keep in touch with me you can DM with your Discord username and I'll send you a friend request from my non-ABDL account.

I would love to know what your strategy is. Would you mind DMing it to me too?

 

[FatalGeometry]

Look, just for information purposes, you are only 19, your sense of "self" isn't permanently carved in stone yet, many of us here are in our 40s/50s/60s and still find thinks that challenge our mindset and/or make us question our sense of "self".

Many of the people saying "you'll come back" or "the feelings will return" are saying it from a position of DECADES of past experience, including the purge/binge cycle.

It's like going to a long-time favorite restaurant, having a bad experience and declaring "i'm never coming back here", but several months/years down the road you remember how good you felt after a meal there and your heart yearns for another meal there...

I get it, but I also don't like the constant "adults talking down to children" thing. I get that it's more complex than that, but sometimes what is true of the past is not necessarily true of the future, and considering that we're all different, we're all gonna have different success rates with these sorts of things. All I can say on it is that I've had B/P cycles multiple times before and this one feels very different. It feels final. It was entirely premediated and not on impulse. I've been planning this sort of thing for a few weeks and was able to keep all my ADBL stuff in my room for a whole ten days after making the decision without even thinking about going back to it. I only threw it out for good last night after I was sure that this time was different.

I've also done some good journaling and reflective exercises, thinking back to all the ABDL things I've done and remembering how I felt before, during, and after. They're all pretty much the same. Before I felt excited about it, during I felt somewhere between happy and anxious, and after I felt ashamed, disgusted, and sad. After all of that I don't really have any good feelings about anything I did besides the anticipation, which I feel whenever I'm waiting for something that I've prepared long and hard for and is not ABDL specific at all.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I will be back. But I hope that I am gone from here for good for my own wellbeing, so I'll act like it's guaranteed until it finally is. Fake it till you make it and all.

 

[FatalGeometry]

So I will ask you a question: why?

What is it about being ABDL that makes you feel this is a necessary step?

If you're asking why I made an AMA? I'm not entirely sure. I knew I wanted to make one last post here before I was gone for good because I have had some very nice conversations with people so I don't want to go full radio silence mode. I also have heard lots of stories about people desperately wanting to quit and being unable to. Now I don't know yet whether this will actually work but it feels like it could, provided I have the willpower for it. I guess I wanted to be able to offer a potential solution to people who want one, just as something to try, without just posting "Here's how to quit" because it doesn't feel right to just do that here.

 

[FatalGeometry]

I didn't ask, but I am curious how you plan to stop and why you (at the age of 19) are so confident it will work. If you aren't willing to answer that in the thread (though I'm not sure why you wouldn't be), I'm fine with a DM.

I would love to know what your strategy is. Would you mind DMing it to me too?

For the purposes of this thread I'll keep it lighter. I'm focusing on my own body a lot. I have a particular body type that I've been wanting to have for a while but I haven't made any substantial process towards. From this point on, I'm gonna take all the time I devoted to ABDL before and commit it to this instead. And if I ever think I might relapse or if I actually do, I'm gonna go out and buy lots of junk food and eat it all very quickly, taking me back a step in the pursuit of my desired body shape. I've seen people do similar things (called "Commitment Contracts") for all sorts of reasons, and I thought this might be a good idea for me to try. The basic premise of it, taking out my specific wants, is to pick a goal, and whenever you mess up in reaching that goal or take a step backwards, you do something that you don't want. Sometimes it's giving money to a cause you disagree with, or for me it's eating junk food. My idea for this is a little different where I have two goals and I'm pursuing them in tandem, but I think that having the second goal of doing something specific whilst trying not to do something else will benefit me in this.

I hope that explanation makes sense. I'll give a little more clarification in DMs if you want it as I don't want to give such specific advice in a public forum.

 

[bedwetterdavid]

oof, junk food would just reinforce my desire to relapse haha. Best of luck to you!

 

[LittleRascal]

One day I decided my ab "lifestyle" wasn't for me anymore. I sold all my abdl diapers and haven't looked back.
Sometimes people move on and that's ok.
Now I still have to wear for medical needs, but no bears or baby prints on diapers. No bottles or pacifiers either.

Now I still talk to others on here about AB products & what not I just don't partake personally anymore in that area.

You're still holding onto the diapers though I do agree the prints and everything else is completely optional

 

[artemisenterri]

If you're asking why I made an AMA? I'm not entirely sure. I knew I wanted to make one last post here before I was gone for good because I have had some very nice conversations with people so I don't want to go full radio silence mode. I also have heard lots of stories about people desperately wanting to quit and being unable to. Now I don't know yet whether this will actually work but it feels like it could, provided I have the willpower for it. I guess I wanted to be able to offer a potential solution to people who want one, just as something to try, without just posting "Here's how to quit" because it doesn't feel right to just do that here.

What I meant was why do you feel that stopping and ignoring it is the only solution?

Did you ever consider "desensitization" therapy (the opposite of "revulsion" therapy), where the more often you do it, the less those feelings of anxiousness or embarrassment would occur? Is it possible the sadness was simply because the happy feelings didn't last long enough?

When I first discovered my interests involved diapers, I had sexual arousal, followed by shame of feeling "not normal", but over the years the arousal faded and I can wear without it feeling sexual at all, just a thicker form of underwear which is helpful to have when the need to "go" hits but reaching a bathroom is not an option at that time.

 

[LePew]

I've found something else. Something to commit to fully. Something I want to achieve so much more badly than I've ever wanted to wear or do ABDL things. And if I ever do anything ABDL related again, I will throw obstacles in my way to backtrack me in achieving this goal.

May I ask what it is?

 

[FatalGeometry]

What I meant was why do you feel that stopping and ignoring it is the only solution?

Did you ever consider "desensitization" therapy (the opposite of "revulsion" therapy), where the more often you do it, the less those feelings of anxiousness or embarrassment would occur? Is it possible the sadness was simply because the happy feelings didn't last long enough?

When I first discovered my interests involved diapers, I had sexual arousal, followed by shame of feeling "not normal", but over the years the arousal faded and I can wear without it feeling sexual at all, just a thicker form of underwear which is helpful to have when the need to "go" hits but reaching a bathroom is not an option at that time.

At the end of the day, no matter how desensitised I am to it, my family would always disapprove, it would take up too much of my time for me to have a highly successful career, and it costs me money. And even if I did desensitise myself to it, it would then not have any hold on me. I wouldn't want to do it anymore, so I might as well give it up now if I can.

 

[Sealander]

For the purposes of this thread I'll keep it lighter. I'm focusing on my own body a lot. I have a particular body type that I've been wanting to have for a while but I haven't made any substantial process towards. From this point on, I'm gonna take all the time I devoted to ABDL before and commit it to this instead. And if I ever think I might relapse or if I actually do, I'm gonna go out and buy lots of junk food and eat it all very quickly, taking me back a step in the pursuit of my desired body shape. I've seen people do similar things (called "Commitment Contracts") for all sorts of reasons, and I thought this might be a good idea for me to try. The basic premise of it, taking out my specific wants, is to pick a goal, and whenever you mess up in reaching that goal or take a step backwards, you do something that you don't want. Sometimes it's giving money to a cause you disagree with, or for me it's eating junk food. My idea for this is a little different where I have two goals and I'm pursuing them in tandem, but I think that having the second goal of doing something specific whilst trying not to do something else will benefit me in this.

I hope that explanation makes sense. I'll give a little more clarification in DMs if you want it as I don't want to give such specific advice in a public forum.

I got your DM. Good luck. I hope you manage what you're trying to do.

 

[Aimeesaurus]

Hi. I've made the decision to leave ADISC and anything ABDL related as it has been impacting my personal life far too much for me to continue, similar to how addictions can. I just can't deal with all the secret keeping and my conflicting morals due to my upbringing (Catholic). This is my last thread on ADISC. Feel free to ask anything you like about why I joined, why I'm leaving, how I plan to stay away, etc. No questions are off limits (ADISC rules permitting).

I'll keep the account active for one week to reply to anyone who asks any questions, and if you want to keep in touch with me you can DM with your Discord username and I'll send you a friend request from my non-ABDL account.

I don't really have a question, I'm not too interested in a religious debate. I would have asked why but you've already explained that pretty well.

Actually I did see that you mentioned you had a method in mind and you would DM anyone interested. Just to satisfy my curiosity, would you DM me please?

I just want to say that I hope that, whatever choice you make, it brings you happiness. Everyone should do what they feel they need to do for their health, mental and physical. I wish you all the best in your endeavours.

I hope you know that your ABDL desires don't make you a bad person, no matter what any religion might or might not say about them. But, again, I'm not trying to influence you. I'd just like to be an understanding voice.

 

[ARBBB2]

I wish you the best, I did 18 months and another 24 months w/o, while doing therapy, marriage counciling, a 12 step group weekly, also telling my pastor about it all. I still love the ab/dl part of me, my wife does not but we are still married. June 1st will be 50 years, she has know about me loving diaper for 56 years.(I wish at times I could stop) For your sake I really hope you can let go of it!!! Would love to hear how its going as u are working on Your sobriety from diapers!! I really mean that!!!

 

[ReluctantAdult]

I have been going through something similar. I wish you success if that is what is best for you.

 

[DiaperedCherub]

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I will be back.

This, I think is you being honest and open minded. We can try to help you, but in the end it really is all up to you. If you can walk away from this, great. But if you can not, and come back, there is no 'walk of shame' doing so. You just need to settle yourself on what you need to be you. Even if all you want to do is talk and not indulge, we'll be here. I've seen more help and good come from this site than mean, bad or hurtful.
We're more concerned about your wellbeing than getting you into diapers.