Just discovered my BF likes being a baby

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Newbie78

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Hi guys!

Hope your all well.
I guess I'm here because I need some guidance and advice please.
While I've seen documentaries and heard certain things about being an adult baby, I i've never actually come across it in person.
My BF found the courage to tell me he liked dummies and being bottle fed, in a sexual and non-sexual way, a little while back. He's not into dressing up ect. While I really admire his courage in telling me and I love him dearly, and doubted if I could do this in the beginning, I've accepted that's what he likes. I'd love to fulfil his desires but in all honesty, I haven't a clue what I'm doing and i'm getting a bit worried that I won't do things right in a sexual way. He says to just talk to him like a baby and as I have kids I should know how to do that. But what is it he wants sexually???? I've asked him a few times but isn't being specific. I think because he knows what he wants, he forgets I'm new to this.
What do I say? When is the appropriate time to give him his dummy? What other things do I do?
I'm really stuck and didn't know where else to go to to find information first hand so please forgive me for asking the questions :). Any pointers would be extremely helpful.

Newbie78
 
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First and foremost, your boyfriend is a very lucky guy! There are a lot of us out here that worry about telling people in a relationship with us and to find someone that's not only accepting, but wanting to participate would seem to be a dream come true. So good on you for being so open-minded and caring about the whole thing!

The problem is that people like us all have different feelings and desires about the whole thing. We can hazard guesses, but none of us know your boyfriend so we can't talk for him. Perhaps you should suggest to him that you really need him to be more specific about how he'd like to go about things. Let him know that you're very new to this and it's a bit confusing.

As for roleplaying as a parent figure, I wouldn't think anyone would expect you to be perfect on the first try! It's a skill to learn that could be referred to as acting, but playful instead of performing. I would reccomend just trying it out, seeing how things go and trying to have fun with it if you can. For a lot of people, it's all about making the "little" feel very young and making them feel loved in a special kind of way. If you talk to him using the same tone of voice and words that you would use to a toddler (though it might seem silly at first), I'm sure that's something he'll appreciate a lot.

I hope things go well for you two! Please keep posting if you're still unsure or you have any more questions. This is a support community, so don't feel bad about asking for help. :)
 
SleepingBlueWolf, thank you so much for your encouragement. I guess you picked up on something...me feeling kinda silly. I do feel a little silly but I guess I'm prepared to go through the motions so we can make each other happy. I know how I would talk to a toddler but in doing this for the first few times, I'm going to seem a little unconfident, unsure and embarrassed. Maybe I wanted to know what types of phrases and actions some of you guys like (does that sound silly?).
I just wanted to be the best I can :). Thank you so much again for your understanding...

Newbie78
 
http://www.adisc.org/forum/showthread.php/90933-AB-DL-Fetish-Checklist?highlight=ABDL+fetish+checklist is an excellent thread on this! I'm not sexual during little time, but I used the link Gigglemuffinz (hope I spelled that correctly. If not, I'll fix it!:smile1:) to solidify things that were yeses, Nos, and maybes in my own head. It was also helpful because it gave me the responsibility to know myself better. I actually used it to make a kinda, "dear Abale letter," to an eventual husband. Hope it's in the cards for me. Abale just means Daddy in Hebrew, if you wondered.
 
Hey!
Thank you so much for the link...I'll check it out now. I guess doing anything for the first time is a little daunting.
Ps. Eventual hubby!!! That's so nice to hear :). It's nice to know others are so accepting and also the peeps who have courage to express their wants and needs :)

Newbie78
 
I understand things seeming silly and embarrassing. It's worth noting that we experience the same feelings a lot of the time, but it's something that you do get used to over time. If you're looking for some key phrases and actions, I'll have a go at it! Haha!

Cute nicknames like: little one, baby, my special guy, etc.
Condescending tones, lots of praise for simple stuff like spelling and drawings
If you have any appropriate stuffed toys, that makes for good playfulness. Pretending they're alive and have personalities is a must!

This is of course all mother-child relationship stuff and it leans a lot closer to the non-sexual side. For a lot of people, leaning more to the sexual side probably contains a lot more stuff to do with diapers, and refering to a lack of toiling training for the "little": Stuff like "let's get you in a diaper before your pants get all wet" (though I'm not sure if you're planning on being involved with diaper changes and such yourself, you can still refer to them either way). I know that the idea of "diaper checks" appeals to a lot of people, instead of just asking your boyfriend you could try that.
 
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SleepingBlueWolf said:
I understand things seeming silly and embarrassing. It's worth noting that we experience the same feelings a lot of the time, but it's something that you do get used to over time. If you're looking for some key phrases and actions, I'll have a go at it! Haha!

Cute nicknames like: little one, baby my special guy, etc.
Condescending tones, lots of praise for simple stuff like spelling and drawings
If you have any appropriate stuffed toys, that makes for good playfulness. Pretending they're alive and have personalities is a must!

This is of course all mother-child relationship stuff and it leans a lot closer to the non-sexual side. For a lot of people, leaning more to the sexual side probably contains a lot more stuff to do with diapers, and refering to a lack of toiling training for the "little": Stuff like "let's get you in a diaper before your pants get all wet" (though I'm not sure if you're planning on being involved with diaper changes and such yourself, you can still refer to them either way). I know that the idea of "diaper checks" appeals to a lot of people, instead of just asking your boyfriend you could try that.
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Now that's what I needed...! Some direction with regards to words and actions. I did actually just send him a random message to see what his answer would be and a preference if you like...

1. Cuddly mummy (non-sexual/comforting)
2. Hardcore mummy (sexual and controlling).

I thought this would give me direction in which way to go about it or what he'd prefer. I've been asking random questions all week (he's been so understanding and very willing to open up) but most replies have been vague. I.E 'what are the types of things you want to hear?', to which he replied 'talk to me like you did when the kids were toddlers'. I guess I was looking for specifics. So thank you again SleepingBlueWolf, I really do appreciate your advice :)

Newbie78
 
Hey Babymt,

Thank you so much for your reply. It's so nice to know you and your wife communicate so well on this subject. If you read my previous message I asked my BF a question re. Cuddly mummy or hardcore mummy. His reply was preferably 'cuddly mummy' but can depend on mood as to whether the other applies. Now I guess I have to be more observant. I will admit, I really did think it was a sexual thing but now can clearly see it's not all about the sexual side of things. Like you, I've got an 11yr old floating about which makes things a little more tricky but time can def be put aside for this in the evenings.
The book sounds like a good idea! I'll see if I can get a copy :) thank you.
And my needs are being met yes, although I did worry whether he was fulfilling my needs because he wanted to put my needs before himself but i guess he wasn't if AD is more of a comforting thing for him.
I've surprised myself by asking questions as I'm not so good at communication on delicate subjects like this but I'm glad I've been asking as I feel better already :).
Thank you again for your advice and support :)

Newbie78
 
Firstly, Newbie78, well done on being so open minded. In terms of finding out what your BF enjoys about ABDL, the two best things are communication and experimentation. Ask him what his favourite babyish thing to do with you would be, and if you're comfortable with it, then do that. If it doesn't turn out to be quite as exciting (sexually or otherwise) as you'd hoped, try other things within the AB/Little spectrum. For example, I was so excited about the idea of wearing diapers when I first explored this side of me, but in the end, that didn't do a huge amount for me. On the other hand, I'd never really thought much about Potty 'Training', but when I did it as a roleplay with my GF, it was extremely enjoyable (in all sorts of ways!).

So yeah, try things out, keep a dialogue up about how each of you feels about the idea of and the reality of the ABDL things you're doing, and try not to worry about doing things the right way. There is no right and wrong in ABDL - just what works or doesn't work for you and your partner. :)
 
Hey Sanch,

Again, your advice is invaluable because as someone who enjoys this, I'll be able to take on yours and others advice. And your certainly right about communication. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't ask questions or sought advice. You've all been so kind and understanding and knowing that 'doing things right/finding what works' is part or the learning process is a relief! Its just not something that comes naturally to me as I've never experienced it before, but the idea is becoming so appealing. The reason being...if my BF is happy and this helps with out bonding, then it makes me happy and is certainly a bonus in strengthening our relationship :)
Thank you again for taking the time to message :)

Newbie78
 
Hey Maxx,

Thank you for your reply. It's helped massively! :)

SleepingBlueWolf, apologies as I didn't know which forum to post in so thank you for replying :)

Newbie78
 
Hey there,

I'm married to an ABDL, which is why I'm here on this forum - it's not my thing. I'm a bit more used to it now, but one of the ways I found to find out about what he wanted was to ask him to write me an erotic story from his point of view. He wrote a charming tale, and it was almost like a guidance script for me. We still do this from time to time when we want to try something new in the bedroom, and it really helps. We don't have to do it exactly as the story goes but it means we both have a rough idea of what we want. We also have an 'after session debrief' with

1. Best bits
2. Worst bit
3. Things you would change
4. Things that you want to do again
5. Things that you never want to do again
6. Things to improve
7. Feelings during x,y,z activity

etc

Hope this helps, and feel free to ask me anything else as well. I know it can be a bit of a shock to find out something like this at first! Just play it by ear and keep communicating! :)
 
I can't add much here as the contributions have been very good, but the story idea reminded me of this. When I wrote both "Coffee Stop" and "The Un-training of Stanley Kaminsky", I read both of them to my wife. I'm not sure it contributed much to her babying me, but she certainly has an idea where my head is. We have limited baby time when we wake up in the morning. I basically carry on as a baby and turn the Baby First channel on. My wife is fine with this as long as I'm rubbing her back while I'm acting "little". She loves to have her back rubbed.

I too read "There's a Baby In My Bed" and it has a lot of good information though the second half becomes quite extreme. It's something her husband enjoys, but most aren't into it. There are so many variations to playing baby and regression, that there is no one script. I guess that's why I like the writing the story idea.
 
Thank you for being understanding a lot matters about his back ground how it started.
Those of us that are littles or AB's tend to like nurturing hugs cuddled bottle'fed in bed.
Some like bath time .

But we change over time add things leave things some thing we are hooked on .
He may be afraid to tell you all or he doesn't know either .
Get on ebay ask him what he thinks type adult baby in search kind of look on line see what he thinks.
You may need to be a detective ask questions read between the lines.

So have a little fun with it.
When your alone read him a bed time story I like those my self.
Little notes in briefcase is my little one being good if you are surprise when you get home.
Take him to build a bear let him pick one you too so his and hers they can be on the bed .
As gifts to one another that way a resson its in your room and why he has one.

Cookies let him cut them out lick the pan you can have fun times.
Ask him what age his little is thats a help.
I wish you all the best.
Come any time to ask questions we are glad to help.
 
Newbie78 said:
Hey!
Thank you so much for the link...I'll check it out now. I guess doing anything for the first time is a little daunting.
Ps. Eventual hubby!!! That's so nice to hear :). It's nice to know others are so accepting and also the peeps who have courage to express their wants and needs :)

Newbie78
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Actually, haven't found him yet. Thought I may have, but nope. I'm one of those, "Prepare for later, now, so it doesn't freak you out as much when it finally happens," people, so I'm pre-writing my side of the negotiation.
 
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