i'm new here but i'm looking for solutions

[Kunbenshero]

Hi
I'm kunbenshero
21 years old man
student in university
i'm kind of daiper lover
it is like long story i hope you read all of it.
yeah and it is 100% real story.
i said kind of because i don't actually like wearing daipers or being a baby.
I just tried to get rid of this thinking and this behavior but i couldn't.
i was like buying a daipers and wearing them for just one day and in the same day i got rid of them because i don't like them
i don't actually want wear daiper
but something deep in my brain want me to wear Baby daipers or living as baby adult.
i tried to resist my Subconscious mind but i couldn't it is like there are two of me
one is hate being a baby and wearing a daipers and these stuff
and the other is the opposite of the first one he is loving being baby and wearing baby daipers and all of these stuff.
this behave or this thinking started when i was like 4 year old i was always trying to wear baby daipers or acting like a baby but at the same time i resist my self i was suffering from that point.
i don't know the reason but i think it is because of my family they were treating me like baby they always joking about my past when i was a baby and drinking a milk from the baby bottle and asking my mother to change my daiper and theses stuff it is normal you know any baby will act like that .
so i don't know the true reason.
but this behave(being a baby) it grows with me as I get older.
also my story started when i was 4 years old i tried to wear daipers but i couldn't because i was 4 i don't know how
i tried too many times but i failed anyway.
when i was 9 years old i think i tried to wear my baby sister daipers and i success it was size 5 daipers i think
so i wore the baby daipers i was like having fun(but at the same time i was like saying what is wrong with me why i'm doing this) so i walked in the house and feeling the daipers i tried to sleep but i was afraid if someone of my family know.
when i was 15 i tried my sister daipers they were too small so i couldn't and i was quick ( i was afraid if someone of my family know) yeah all my Attempts to wear daipers it was like someone controlling my body it is not me i don't know how to describe the idea.
anyway i reached 20 and i sent to turkey to study there at the beginning i forget everything about being a baby and these stuff.
but the true story started from here :
i was shopping in some supermarkets
suddenly i faced a packages of baby daipers at this time the monster(i mean the second me who love being a baby) inside me woke up again i tried to resist my self i did everything i was like in war with my self but i always lose so i suddenly i found my self buying a baby daipers and i tried to modified it to fit me
and i wore them i was like a man who want to transform to a baby but as i was saying i was resisting i throw the daipers in the garbage and i made a promise that no matter what will happen to me i will not wear a daipers.........................
( i will complete the story if you wanted to)
just comment

 

[Kunbenshero]

Hi
I'm kunbenshero
21 years old man
student in university
i'm kind of daiper lover
it is like long story i hope you read all of it.
yeah and it is 100% real story.
i said kind of because i don't actually like wearing daipers or being a baby.
I just tried to get rid of this thinking and this behavior but i couldn't.
i was like buying a daipers and wearing them for just one day and in the same day i got rid of them because i don't like them
i don't actually want wear daiper
but something deep in my brain want me to wear Baby daipers or living as baby adult.
i tried to resist my Subconscious mind but i couldn't it is like there are two of me
one is hate being a baby and wearing a daipers and these stuff
and the other is the opposite of the first one he is loving being baby and wearing baby daipers and all of these stuff.
this behave or this thinking started when i was like 4 year old i was always trying to wear baby daipers or acting like a baby but at the same time i resist my self i was suffering from that point.
i don't know the reason but i think it is because of my family they were treating me like baby they always joking about my past when i was a baby and drinking a milk from the baby bottle and asking my mother to change my daiper and theses stuff it is normal you know any baby will act like that .
so i don't know the true reason.
but this behave(being a baby) it grows with me as I get older.
also my story started when i was 4 years old i tried to wear daipers but i couldn't because i was 4 i don't know how
i tried too many times but i failed anyway.
when i was 9 years old i think i tried to wear my baby sister daipers and i success it was size 5 daipers i think
so i wore the baby daipers i was like having fun(but at the same time i was like saying what is wrong with me why i'm doing this) so i walked in the house and feeling the daipers i tried to sleep but i was afraid if someone of my family know.
when i was 15 i tried my sister daipers they were too small so i couldn't and i was quick ( i was afraid if someone of my family know) yeah all my Attempts to wear daipers it was like someone controlling my body it is not me i don't know how to describe the idea.
anyway i reached 20 and i sent to turkey to study there at the beginning i forget everything about being a baby and these stuff.
but the true story started from here :
i was shopping in some supermarkets
suddenly i faced a packages of baby daipers at this time the monster(i mean the second me who love being a baby) inside me woke up again i tried to resist my self i did everything i was like in war with my self but i always lose so i suddenly i found my self buying a baby daipers and i tried to modified it to fit me
and i wore them i was like a man who want to transform to a baby but as i was saying i was resisting i throw the daipers in the garbage and i made a promise that no matter what will happen to me i will not wear a daipers.........................
( i will complete the story if you wanted to)
just comment

sorry if my english is not good enough

 

[oreobaby89]

Kunbenshero, you are in what we like to call the binge/purge cycle. Almost all of us on here have been through this. All I can say is that your desire to wear diapers and be a baby will not go away not matter what you do or try. (Believe me I have done about all you could do to stop it.) You have a psychological need for it that cannot be taken away. The best thing you can do is learn to accept this part of you and love it. Each of us here has learned to accept out diaper wearing and little (baby) side and embrace it. What that looks like for you is going to be unique for you. I can say you will save yourself a lot of grief, heartache, and money if you can accept this part of you now. I can't tell you how much I wish I had accepted it when I was 20 instead of in my 30's.

 

[Kunbenshero]

Hi
I'm kunbenshero
21 years old man
student in university
i'm kind of daiper lover
it is like long story i hope you read all of it.
yeah and it is 100% real story.
i said kind of because i don't actually like wearing daipers or being a baby.
I just tried to get rid of this thinking and this behavior but i couldn't.
i was like buying a daipers and wearing them for just one day and in the same day i got rid of them because i don't like them
i don't actually want wear daiper
but something deep in my brain want me to wear Baby daipers or living as baby adult.
i tried to resist my Subconscious mind but i couldn't it is like there are two of me
one is hate being a baby and wearing a daipers and these stuff
and the other is the opposite of the first one he is loving being baby and wearing baby daipers and all of these stuff.
this behave or this thinking started when i was like 4 year old i was always trying to wear baby daipers or acting like a baby but at the same time i resist my self i was suffering from that point.
i don't know the reason but i think it is because of my family they were treating me like baby they always joking about my past when i was a baby and drinking a milk from the baby bottle and asking my mother to change my daiper and theses stuff it is normal you know any baby will act like that .
so i don't know the true reason.
but this behave(being a baby) it grows with me as I get older.
also my story started when i was 4 years old i tried to wear daipers but i couldn't because i was 4 i don't know how
i tried too many times but i failed anyway.
when i was 9 years old i think i tried to wear my baby sister daipers and i success it was size 5 daipers i think
so i wore the baby daipers i was like having fun(but at the same time i was like saying what is wrong with me why i'm doing this) so i walked in the house and feeling the daipers i tried to sleep but i was afraid if someone of my family know.
when i was 15 i tried my sister daipers they were too small so i couldn't and i was quick ( i was afraid if someone of my family know) yeah all my Attempts to wear daipers it was like someone controlling my body it is not me i don't know how to describe the idea.
anyway i reached 20 and i sent to turkey to study there at the beginning i forget everything about being a baby and these stuff.
but the true story started from here :
i was shopping in some supermarkets
suddenly i faced a packages of baby daipers at this time the monster(i mean the second me who love being a baby) inside me woke up again i tried to resist my self i did everything i was like in war with my self but i always lose so i suddenly i found my self buying a baby daipers and i tried to modified it to fit me
and i wore them i was like a man who want to transform to a baby but as i was saying i was resisting i throw the daipers in the garbage and i made a promise that no matter what will happen to me i will not wear a daipers.........................
( i will complete the story if you wanted to)
just comment

sorry if my english is not good enough

Kunbenshero, you are in what we like to call the binge/purge cycle. Almost all of us on here have been through this. All I can say is that your desire to wear diapers and be a baby will not go away not matter what you do or try. (Believe me I have done about all you could do to stop it.) You have a psychological need for it that cannot be taken away. The best thing you can do is learn to accept this part of you and love it. Each of us here has learned to accept out diaper wearing and little (baby) side and embrace it. What that looks like for you is going to be unique for you. I can say you will save yourself a lot of grief, heartache, and money if you can accept this part of you now. I can't tell you how much I wish I had accepted it when I was 20 instead of in my 30's.

Hi
thanks for you reply
you right i think i don't have another choice,maybe i could basically accept my self as a baby and a daiper lover
but i can't what would i tell my family if they found my secret they will not accept me as a baby adult

 

[oreobaby89]

This is not something your family needs to know. Most of us here have not told our families besides our significant other. I think really the only other people who should know about this are a significant other (meaning a very serious girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse) and those in the community. Other than that you really don't need to tell others.

 

[Kunbenshero]

I think your right
thanks for trying to help

 

[Spankedanddiapered]

It’s the classic binge purge cycle. You don’t have to share with everyone and you don’t have to be ashamed of it, embrace it I think it started for me around age 9 also. I went through the binge purge cycle many times. Always feeling guilty or that I was not normal. Didn’t fully embrace it until well into my adulthood. If you’re like me, the desire won’t go away. It’s the way we are wired.

 

[Kunbenshero]

yeah we are crazy

 

[plasticpants10]

Hello and Welcome

 

[ChrisChris]

sorry if my english is not good enough

Hi
I'm kunbenshero
21 years old man
student in university
i'm kind of daiper lover
it is like long story i hope you read all of it.
yeah and it is 100% real story.
i said kind of because i don't actually like wearing daipers or being a baby.
I just tried to get rid of this thinking and this behavior but i couldn't.
i was like buying a daipers and wearing them for just one day and in the same day i got rid of them because i don't like them
i don't actually want wear daiper
but something deep in my brain want me to wear Baby daipers or living as baby adult.
i tried to resist my Subconscious mind but i couldn't it is like there are two of me
one is hate being a baby and wearing a daipers and these stuff
and the other is the opposite of the first one he is loving being baby and wearing baby daipers and all of these stuff.
this behave or this thinking started when i was like 4 year old i was always trying to wear baby daipers or acting like a baby but at the same time i resist my self i was suffering from that point.
i don't know the reason but i think it is because of my family they were treating me like baby they always joking about my past when i was a baby and drinking a milk from the baby bottle and asking my mother to change my daiper and theses stuff it is normal you know any baby will act like that .
so i don't know the true reason.
but this behave(being a baby) it grows with me as I get older.
also my story started when i was 4 years old i tried to wear daipers but i couldn't because i was 4 i don't know how
i tried too many times but i failed anyway.
when i was 9 years old i think i tried to wear my baby sister daipers and i success it was size 5 daipers i think
so i wore the baby daipers i was like having fun(but at the same time i was like saying what is wrong with me why i'm doing this) so i walked in the house and feeling the daipers i tried to sleep but i was afraid if someone of my family know.
when i was 15 i tried my sister daipers they were too small so i couldn't and i was quick ( i was afraid if someone of my family know) yeah all my Attempts to wear daipers it was like someone controlling my body it is not me i don't know how to describe the idea.
anyway i reached 20 and i sent to turkey to study there at the beginning i forget everything about being a baby and these stuff.
but the true story started from here :
i was shopping in some supermarkets
suddenly i faced a packages of baby daipers at this time the monster(i mean the second me who love being a baby) inside me woke up again i tried to resist my self i did everything i was like in war with my self but i always lose so i suddenly i found my self buying a baby daipers and i tried to modified it to fit me
and i wore them i was like a man who want to transform to a baby but as i was saying i was resisting i throw the daipers in the garbage and i made a promise that no matter what will happen to me i will not wear a daipers.........................
( i will complete the story if you wanted to)
just comment

I'm kind of in agreeance with oreobaby89, i agree that there is a part of you that wants this, and i can see a part of you that doesn't want this. I was the same and my reasoning for purging was my Christian faith. If your in a similar position and want another Christian to talk to you are more than welcome to privately message me. on another note, i think maybe you should get some therapy or if that's too much some counseling. I say that because it's what i did. i found a childhood trauma therapist that is Christian and we have been working on this topic in my life for a year now and I've finally made peace with that little side of me. if you want to know more ask if not ill leave it at that :3

 

[Kunbenshero]

Hello and Welcome

thank you

I'm kind of in agreeance with oreobaby89, i agree that there is a part of you that wants this, and i can see a part of you that doesn't want this. I was the same and my reasoning for purging was my Christian faith. If your in a similar position and want another Christian to talk to you are more than welcome to privately message me. on another note, i think maybe you should get some therapy or if that's too much some counseling. I say that because it's what i did. i found a childhood trauma therapist that is Christian and we have been working on this topic in my life for a year now and I've finally made peace with that little side of me. if you want to know more ask if not ill leave it at that :3

Thank you so much and i appreciate your trying to help me
but i'm not a Christian actually i'm a Muslim

 

[ChrisChris]

thank you

Thank you so much and i appreciate your trying to help me
but i'm not a Christian actually i'm a Muslim

Thats ok with me :3 Muslims, Jews, Christians, we all have the same god. If you want to talk tho im hear. I think i have walked a similar path under the ever watching eye of God and know what its like to fear the ground we tread on. Your heart and soul will be in my prays to the all mighty. Gods will be done, and his love and peace be with you.

 

[ElPulpo]

Hi Kubenshero,

first of all, welcome to ADISC. You've come to the right place where more of your kind roam.

Second, don't worry too much about your English. It may not be perfect, but your effort is appreciated. I'm not a native speaker either, and ADISC is very forgiving about minor mistakes.

i'm kind of daiper lover

Yes, apparently you are. Your history is very similar to many I've read about - including my own. I started around 4 years as well trying baby diapers and deep-dove into wearing during puberty, with intermittent phases of regret.
In the end, I gave in, accepted myself as a diaper lover and began wearing real adult diapers that fit me on a regular basis. Disposable diapers will accompany me until I will be disposed myself.

I just tried to get rid of this thinking and this behavior but i couldn't.

That's the point, according to the vast majority of us you just can't. It's so deeply engrained in your brain that you won't escape it. That means either trying to suppress it and contuinously suffering from the crave - or making peace with it and trying to accept and enjoy what you can't change.

Admittedly, there are a few cases which try to abstain. It's similar to fasting or celibacy. You can make your abstinence a virtue, if you really want to, but the urge is likely to never ever diminish and will continue to afflict you.

i made a promise that no matter what will happen to me i will not wear a daipers.........................
i will complete the story if you wanted to

I guess the urge came back. It usually does.

I also agree with the opinion that only your partner (if any) needs to know about it. Everything that happens around your private parts should be kept private.

I hope you end up accepting your secret, because if you do, it can be the source of a lot of comfort and fun. Try to look at it this way - we have an additional way of pleasuring ourselves that others don't. So, in a peculiar way, you are actually at an advantage.

 

[Kunbenshero]

Thats ok with me :3 Muslims, Jews, Christians, we all have the same god. If you want to talk tho im hear. I think i have walked a similar path under the ever watching eye of God and know what its like to fear the ground we tread on. Your heart and soul will be in my prays to the all mighty. Gods will be done, and his love and peace be with you.

Hi Kubenshero,

first of all, welcome to ADISC. You've come to the right place where more of your kind roam.

Second, don't worry too much about your English. It may not be perfect, but your effort is appreciated. I'm not a native speaker either, and ADISC is very forgiving about minor mistakes.


Yes, apparently you are. Your history is very similar to many I've read about - including my own. I started around 4 years as well trying baby diapers and deep-dove into wearing during puberty, with intermittent phases of regret.
In the end, I gave in, accepted myself as a diaper lover and began wearing real adult diapers that fit me on a regular basis. Disposable diapers will accompany me until I will be disposed myself.


That's the point, according to the vast majority of us you just can't. It's so deeply engrained in your brain that you won't escape it. That means either trying to suppress it and contuinously suffering from the crave - or making peace with it and trying to accept and enjoy what you can't change.

Admittedly, there are a few cases which try to abstain. It's similar to fasting or celibacy. You can make your abstinence a virtue, if you really want to, but the urge is likely to never ever diminish and will continue to afflict you.


I guess the urge came back. It usually does.

I also agree with the opinion that only your partner (if any) needs to know about it. Everything that happens around your private parts should be kept private.

I hope you end up accepting your secret, because if you do, it can be the source of a lot of comfort and fun. Try to look at it this way - we have an additional way of pleasuring ourselves that others don't. So, in a peculiar way, you are actually at an advantage.

Hi
Thank you very much for trying to help and advising me.
you so right about you wrote but the thing is first i'm not married.
in islam there's no sush things like -boy friend -girl friend- it is completely forbidden anyway.
so i can't tell anybody of my secret maybe my future wife maybe but yeah alot of pepole said they left this behavior (being a Abdl) when they got married because they got the full sexual pleasure but at the same time alot of pepole still being an adult baby or daipers lover even if he got married so it is complicated.
i only have two options
one is to resist and suffer until i got married.
two accept my self as a baby adult or daiper lover i still feel shame saying to my self i'm baby or daiper lover

 

[ChrisChris]

Hi
Thank you very much for trying to help and advising me.
you so right about you wrote but the thing is first i'm not married.
in islam there's no sush things like -boy friend -girl friend- it is completely forbidden anyway.
so i can't tell anybody of my secret maybe my future wife maybe but yeah alot of pepole said they left this behavior (being a Abdl) when they got married because they got the full sexual pleasure but at the same time alot of pepole still being an adult baby or daipers lover even if he got married so it is complicated.
i only have two options
one is to resist and suffer until i got married.
two accept my self as a baby adult or daiper lover i still feel shame saying to my self i'm baby or daiper lover

how do you feel about adult baby and diapers in relation to our god? What do you think God thinks? What would the Karan say you should do?

 

[Kunbenshero]

how do you feel about adult baby and diapers in relation to our god? What do you think God thinks? What would the Karan say you should do?

actually it is not about feeling
look wearing daipers / cloth anything that is for male of course (not wearing women cloth) it is not forbidden
but the thing is having the sex feeling in the wrong place is forbidden (haram in islam)
one place is halal(allowed) is the sex feeling when you get married
but the thing is there's no another option
in islam you have to get married or fasting
and i can say wearing daipers or being a baby it comes with sex feeling so that's why it is haram(forbidden)
when is not forbidden?
when you afraid of yourself you have sex with someone without marriage that is one of the biggest forbidden thing that bring the anger of Allah(God)
so right now i can't get married and it is hard to resist and i'm afried of doing something is the biggest forbidden things
so right now for me i have two options
one : is to wear daipers or being a baby (and i hate doing that).
two : fasting (inshallah i will try this)

 

[Angelapinks]

sorry if my english is not good enough

Hi
thanks for you reply
you right i think i don't have another choice,maybe i could basically accept my self as a baby and a daiper lover
but i can't what would i tell my family if they found my secret they will not accept me as a baby adult

Just like the rest of us but we cannot make the choice for you and we have probably tried and failed ourselves also. Once you are hooked it is very hard to quit but then why should you as you are hurting nobody just having fun yourself.

 

[oreobaby89]

actually it is not about feeling
look wearing daipers / cloth anything that is for male of course (not wearing women cloth) it is not forbidden
but the thing is having the sex feeling in the wrong place is forbidden (haram in islam)
one place is halal(allowed) is the sex feeling when you get married
but the thing is there's no another option
in islam you have to get married or fasting
and i can say wearing daipers or being a baby it comes with sex feeling so that's why it is haram(forbidden)
when is not forbidden?
when you afraid of yourself you have sex with someone without marriage that is one of the biggest forbidden thing that bring the anger of Allah(God)
so right now i can't get married and it is hard to resist and i'm afried of doing something is the biggest forbidden things
so right now for me i have two options
one : is to wear daipers or being a baby (and i hate doing that).
two : fasting (inshallah i will try this)

I can say that initially wearing and acting may increase those feelings. However after you do it more those feelings will subside because it will become more normal to you. Thus it robs the fantasy which can be a big driver in the sexual urges. Also the strong urges can be part of not meeting the need of wearing diapers and having that baby time so the body compsates by increasing the sexual urge. So by wearing and giving in to those urges you ultimately reduce the chances of acting out. At least this is what I have found in my life.

 

[ChrisChris]

actually it is not about feeling
look wearing daipers / cloth anything that is for male of course (not wearing women cloth) it is not forbidden
but the thing is having the sex feeling in the wrong place is forbidden (haram in islam)
one place is halal(allowed) is the sex feeling when you get married
but the thing is there's no another option
in islam you have to get married or fasting
and i can say wearing daipers or being a baby it comes with sex feeling so that's why it is haram(forbidden)
when is not forbidden?
when you afraid of yourself you have sex with someone without marriage that is one of the biggest forbidden thing that bring the anger of Allah(God)
so right now i can't get married and it is hard to resist and i'm afried of doing something is the biggest forbidden things
so right now for me i have two options
one : is to wear daipers or being a baby (and i hate doing that).
two : fasting (inshallah i will try this)

I understand now. I will not tell you to do that which is forbidden. But i will tell you this. God see you trying and im sure that God loves your spirit for trying. If you do that which, you hate cry to God and he will hear you. If in temptation cry to god and he will hear you. If you fall cry to god that he will spare you. We are all short of the glory of god and no one will die pure without sin. i know your struggle because it was my struggle. The best thing i ever did was lean on god and cry out to him even tho i fell.
Im sure that this hate you have for that part that you, your against is not your fault in the eye of our god. surly if you fall do to its tempting after much fasting or even if only a little fasting maybe even no fasting god will know why and have mercy. i think this is the case becouse its not you that wants this but it is your flesh your body your subconscious mind and that is beyond you. youll be in my prayers and im hear if you want to talk.

 

[Kunbenshero]

actually it is not about feeling
look wearing daipers / cloth anything that is for male of course (not wearing women cloth) it is not forbidden
but the thing is having the sex feeling in the wrong place is forbidden (haram in islam)
one place is halal(allowed) is the sex feeling when you get married
but the thing is there's no another option
in islam you have to get married or fasting
and i can say wearing daipers or being a baby it comes with sex feeling so that's why it is haram(forbidden)
when is not forbidden?
when you afraid of yourself you have sex with someone without marriage that is one of the biggest forbidden thing that bring the anger of Allah(God)
so right now i can't get married and it is hard to resist and i'm afried of doing something is the biggest forbidden things
so right now for me i have two options
one : is to wear daipers or being a baby (and i hate doing that).
two : fasting (inshallah i will

I can say that initially wearing and acting may increase those feelings. However after you do it more those feelings will subside because it will become more normal to you. Thus it robs the fantasy which can be a big driver in the sexual urges. Also the strong urges can be part of not meeting the need of wearing diapers and having that baby time so the body compsates by increasing the sexual urge. So by wearing and giving in to those urges you ultimately reduce the chances of acting out. At least this is what I have found in my life.

yes your right
I would rather be a Baby for the rest of my life than do something morally or sexually inappropriate