If you had kids, and they wanted to wear nappies after potty training age, would you let them?

[JonahAteAWhale]

I was allowed to as a child. I intend to allow my children if they want to wear nappies to wear them for as long as they want, or if they want big kids pants and nappies sometimes that's fine, or if they want just big kids pants that's fine, whatever they want. That's my philosophy but I'm not a dad yet but I dream of it and hope their mum isn't a mean person.

 

[AJFan2020]

I would say no because it might negatively effect their social life.

My answer would only be different if a medical condition of some type made it necessary.

 

[JonahAteAWhale]

I would say no because it might negatively effect their social life.

My answer would only be different if a medical condition of some type made it necessary.

That seems unusually cruel, although I suppose you know your kids best. I frequently wore nappies in the day until the age of 10, it never affected my social life.

 

[Cottontail]

My kids are ages 16 and 19, so at this point I doubt I'll run into this problem, but if I did...

At their present ages, if they were buying diapers with their own money, wearing them privately at home, keeping themselves clean, dealing with the trash, laundry, etc., I'd stand aside and let them be responsible for their quirks. It's hard to see where my interference would make anything better. On the other hand, if they were newly potty-trained preschoolers and were asking Wife or me to put them back in diapers, that would be a hard "no." It's tempting to project my own fantasies onto this scenario, because I've been that little kid who desperately wanted to be back in diapers. As a parent though, it would be irresponsible of me to do that. When possible, kids do need to be potty trained. Allowing them to wear diapers indefinitely, without a medical need, is socially limiting.

 

[goodniteswearer89]

I would but only if there mom was ok with it and i would warn them and tell them that normal people don’t wear diapers unless it’s for medical purposes and I would warn them that they might get made fun of if people find out and I then I would talk to them about this site and tell them that this is a great place to connect with like minded people.

 

[AJFan2020]

That seems unusually cruel, although I suppose you know your kids best. I frequently wore nappies in the day until the age of 10, it never affected my social life.

I don’t actually have kids but that is what I would generally do. When I was growing up back in the 1980s it was very common for kids to tease each other about bed-wetting and daytime accidents. My parents say that they also noticed this back in the 1950s. I guess other people have noticed this also because I was watching an episode of Bob’s Burgers where Louise had a sleepover and one of the guests sometimes wets the bed. Louise learned about her concerns and reassured her that she did not need to worry about being teased because of that. At some point during that conversation she told her that she would never make fun of her for something like that and said something like “What is this the 1980s?”. The scene makes sense in context.

Due to being on the autism spectrum, being born prematurely, and having some other conditions I was a late trainer. My mother bought a potty chair for me at 18 months and introduced me to it. I was just over three-and-a-half before my mother saw the first results. I was five, almost six when I started Kindergarten and even then I was just toilet trained enough during the day to get in. I still wore diapers at night (Pampers at first, then medical diapers that I never learned the brand name of that pretty much looked like Pampers only larger). Due to my bed-wetting I was not allowed to have sleepovers. My bed-wetting eventually stopped late in my Elementary School years (around age ten or eleven).

It is based on the experiences above and not the desire to be mean that would cause me to insist on an age-appropriate level of toilet training for anyone who is physically capable of it and who understands what needs to be done.

Maybe I would make some exceptions for long flights, road trips, and situations of that nature where a rest room might not be readily available and any mishaps that might result from that would not effect his or her social life because his or her friends would not be there to see it.

On the other hand without actually being a parent (let alone a parent in this situation) I can’t be completely sure of which choice I would make.

 

[JonahAteAWhale]

My kids are ages 16 and 19, so at this point I doubt I'll run into this problem, but if I did...

At their present ages, if they were buying diapers with their own money, wearing them privately at home, keeping themselves clean, dealing with the trash, laundry, etc., I'd stand aside and let them be responsible for their quirks. It's hard to see where my interference would make anything better. On the other hand, if they were newly potty-trained preschoolers and were asking Wife or me to put them back in diapers, that would be a hard "no." It's tempting to project my own fantasies onto this scenario, because I've been that little kid who desperately wanted to be back in diapers. As a parent though, it would be irresponsible of me to do that. When possible, kids do need to be potty trained. Allowing them to wear diapers indefinitely, without a medical need, is socially limiting.

I don’t actually have kids but that is what I would generally do. When I was growing up back in the 1980s it was very common for kids to tease each other about bed-wetting and daytime accidents. My parents say that they also noticed this back in the 1950s. I guess other people have noticed this also because I was watching an episode of Bob’s Burgers where Louise had a sleepover and one of the guests sometimes wets the bed. Louise learned about her concerns and reassured her that she did not need to worry about being teased because of that. At some point during that conversation she told her that she would never make fun of her for something like that and said something like “What is this the 1980s?”. The scene makes sense in context.

Due to being on the autism spectrum, being born prematurely, and having some other conditions I was a late trainer. My mother bought a potty chair for me at 18 months and introduced me to it. I was just over three-and-a-half before my mother saw the first results. I was five, almost six when I started Kindergarten and even then I was just toilet trained enough during the day to get in. I still wore diapers at night (Pampers at first, then medical diapers that I never learned the brand name of that pretty much looked like Pampers only larger). Due to my bed-wetting I was not allowed to have sleepovers.

It is based on the experiences above and not the desire to be mean that would cause me to insist on an age-appropriate level of toilet training for anyone who is physically capable of it and who understands what needs to be done.

Maybe I would make some exceptions for long flights, road trips, and situations of that nature where a rest room might not be readily available and any mishaps that might result from that would not effect his or her social life because his or her friends would not be there to see it.

On the other hand without actually being a parent (let alone a parent in this situation) I can’t be completely sure of which choice I would make.

I understand your reasons. My thoughts are different. I know how strongly I desired nappies as a child and how happy they made me. If my children were like me, I would not want to deprive them of nappies, but I also would not want to deprive them of normal development. So I would be led by my child in this I think, rather than try and decide what is best for them, I would want to work out what would make them happiest by talking to them and understanding. This is because later in my childhood I had a strict stepdad who took away all my nappies, and I only realised in adulthood that it was from then on and for the rest of my life until I went back into nappies that I struggled to sleep due to fears and anxieties. I also felt ashamed of my desires to wear nappies after they were taken away and I was told it was abnormal. I don't want to do that to my kids.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

Being disabled and IC, this could be a tough battle for me. Should I have kids, I want them to be as independent as possible, and I wouldn’t want them wearing diapers unless they needed them medically.

And yet at the same time, I don’t want to hide my disability or diaper needs from them - when they start asking questions, I’d give them age-appropriate answers.

I’d emphasise that by toilet training them, I’m giving them the chance to NOT wear diapers if they don’t want to.

But I’m mindful that this could be a very long struggle…

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[Pelusos]

As a father of 3 I think about this a lot. A lot would depend on the mother's reaction, I think she would say no, in this case I would try to be honest with the child, I would tell about my DL life but it would cause that I should be honest with my wife...
So I would try to explain to the child that she is not abnormal, there are no any problem with her but this activity is not socially accepted so she should be careful when doing this.
All three are learning English so over 18 I would direct her here ADISC

 

[claire123]

if my kids asked me when they was younger it’s a hard no, it could cause so many issues, but if when there are older, saving there own money and sorting it out themselves, then that’s fine there more able to make decisions like that

 

[TexHagrid]

As a father, I can say that for me… I won’t know until the time comes, if it ever does. And there will be several factors to consider. Age of the child, maturity, reasons for wanting to wear diapers, what exactly are their expectations, etc.

 

[Cottontail]

So I would be led by my child in this I think, rather than try and decide what is best for them, I would want to work out what would make them happiest by talking to them and understanding. This is because later in my childhood I had a strict stepdad who took away all my nappies, and I only realised in adulthood that it was from then on and for the rest of my life until I went back into nappies that I struggled to sleep due to fears and anxieties. I also felt ashamed of my desires to wear nappies after they were taken away and I was told it was abnormal. I don't want to do that to my kids.

The difficulty is that little kids don't really know what's best for themselves. They're little me-focused hedonists and they live in the moment. If they could sit in front of the TV all day drinking soda and eating junk food, most would. You have to steer them. The need arises constantly. They're not always going to love you for it, but to a great extent that's how life skills are developed. It's also pretty normal for kids to resist potty training, and there are conditions like autism that might delay potty training and create unusually strong attachments to diapers. Those things don't mean your kid's one of us, and really, would you want them to be?

I think sometimes you do have to take something away, or at least see it gone, in order to fairly judge the need for it. That doesn't mean you have to be cruel about it though. You can distance yourself from your stepdad's strict example without being super permissive. Really, that's what to strive for. I mean... You don't want to helicopter-parent your kid into a state of perpetual dependence or bully them into a neurotic mess, but you also don't want a feral kid or a spoiled brat!

 

[LittleAndAlone]

I'd be supportive but cautious. I know from experience if they are into this already there is nothing I can do to change it. But I'd warn them about the social and life long implications and such in case they aren't down that rabbit hole yet. Being supportive is more likely to lend to a passing curiosity while forbidding is more likely to cement increased or permanent interest. And if they have the bug there is nothing you're going to do to influence it one way or another anyway. We all know that too well.

 

[Tetra]

If it will keep them from developing drug or alcohol abuse later in life ,I will buy them anything . There’s millions of people with highly self destructive coping mechanisms , if a humble diaper intrest can spare them and us years of pain and anguish or mourning there loss ,take my money !

 

[mammalun]

Cottontail said it best I think. You have to be cautious about projecting your own desires and wishes onto your child. That goes for anything, not just diapers. Almost all kids will go through an "I want a diaper back" phase during potty training. Yet how many of those are genuinely ABDL later in life? Very few really. So I'm in the "younger kids it should be a hard no to allow them to show development on a normal path" and "older kids who may be experimenting with their sexuality and identity etc it's all fine and dandy". It's all about knowing where your own kid is on that spectrum.

 

[SparkyDog]

Yes, you should let your children if they want to go back to diapers again

gonna have to disagree here
parents role is to steer a child into adulthood.
Using the toilet is part of that
does a child want to wear it's the parents role to encourage putting diapers behind them
as a child I had wetting issues but also snuck diapers to wear
whole time mom was encouraging me & working on helping me get proper bladder control
the desire to wear I kept secret

Generally parents discourage going back into diapers if a child asks

also diapers get expensive big reasons parents strive for their kids to graduate to underwear
if a kid on their own explores diapers
then that's on them

parents shouldn't acquiesce if a kid asked to wear again
IMO

 

[TexHagrid]

As many have said, age & maturity are huge factors.

If it’s an elementary age child, then there would be several reasons to say no, as others have already stated.

If the child is a teenager… it’d be tough not to think, “There are way worse things they could be doing with their free time than using diapers.”

 

[DIAPERBOY34]

gonna have to disagree here
parents role is to steer a child into adulthood.
Using the toilet is part of that
does a child want to wear it's the parents role to encourage putting diapers behind them
as a child I had wetting issues but also snuck diapers to wear
whole time mom was encouraging me & working on helping me get proper bladder control
the desire to wear I kept secret

Generally parents discourage going back into diapers if a child asks

also diapers get expensive big reasons parents strive for their kids to graduate to underwear
if a kid on their own explores diapers
then that's on them

parents shouldn't acquiesce if a kid asked to wear again
IMO

I understand, but I don't agree with what you wrote

 

[midrobbie49]

General rule is, when you try to prevent kids from doing things they want to do, they often will rebel and try to do it anyways.

So in this case, best situation is, yes let your kids enjoy their diapers for longer, but definitely toilet train them, and make it something that they sorta pay for (so they use pocket money, or have to do chores to earn the diapers). You also teach them about being appropriate and teach them that it is something they want to keep private.

 

[mistykitty]

As has been stated multiple times often when told no kids do the exact opposite. The best case scenario in my eyes is that of those who have suggested allow for the wearing and/or use but still train them. Also the idea of conditions to earn them and maybe having the kid change themselves wouldn't be bad idea.

I'm not a parent but this is likely how I would address it if I were.